Capes And Capers
by MoaningMyrtle123
Summary: Naomi is just a normal twentysomething, looking for love. Well, except that she can fly, and she's from another planet...
1. Chapter 1

**So I re-read the last couple of chapters of 'You Make Loving Fun', and decided that I'm not as happy with them as I could be. They say that a change is as good as a rest, so I decided to have a go at the other story that has been rattling around my head lately. I'm not sure how good an idea it is for me to have 2 stories on the go at once, but I'll see how it goes. And I am definitely still continuing with the other - this one probably won't be a priority.**

**This is all just a bit of daft fun, that I hope amuses people! This chapter is really just an introduction to the story. I had a bit more written, but this seemed like a good place to end for now.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Myrtle**

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><p><span>Capes And Capers<span>

My name is Naomi, and ever since I was a little girl I've known that I'm different. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: everyone goes through that at some point in their life, right? I know, but for me it's really true. You see: I'm a superhero. Yes, I'm Ultra Woman. The girl who flies around in a sky-blue cape, saving people from burning buildings? That's me.

I'm from another planet originally, and came to earth as a baby. How or why, I don't know. What I do know is that I was found by a young couple called Gina and Alan. They took me in and treated me as if I was their own for the next six months. Then Alan decided that he didn't want to be a father and fucked off, never to be seen by either of us again. But Gina never abandoned me. She raised me – and loved me – as if I really had been her own flesh and blood.

It wasn't always easy for her. She was terrified that if the government found out about me, I would spend the rest of my days being experimented on in a laboratory somewhere. I didn't fancy the sound of that – sampling mums strange attempts at cooking was enough experimentation for me. So we kept ourselves to ourselves, and kept my special abilities hidden from the rest of the world.

Mum did her best to home-school me, which was a unique experience. Being the only child in the class meant that I was always called on to answer questions. And goofing off just wasn't an option. It didn't matter that I could use my super-human speed to put drawing pins on the teacher's chair – mum always knew that it was me. The end of term school play was always fun though – I was guaranteed to get cast in every single role. But our attempt at forming a school debate team is best left forgotten.

As a child, I rarely mixed with other people. It left me with barely any social skills, but I never seemed to need them. My only friend was a girl the same age as me called Effy. She lived next door with her brother and her mother. At first, we kept the Stonem family at arms length – things were safer that way. But something about Effy drew me in. I thought she was the most beautiful person that I'd ever seen, and I longed to get to know her. Like me, she never seemed to play with other children, always preferring to be alone.

One day, she was sat under a tree in her back garden, writing in a notebook. I had climbed a tree in my own garden, just so I could watch her. Effy's brother Tony appeared from nowhere, and snatched the notebook from her. I watched with mounting anger as he taunted her with it, pretending to give it back, then raising it out of her grasp. Then he shoved it into the back pocket of his jeans, and started to climb a tree, knowing fine well that Effy couldn't follow him up there. Unable to contain my frustration, I glanced hastily around to make sure no-one was watching. Then I used my heat vision to snap the branch that Tony was reaching for. It surprised him, and he fell the short distance backwards to the ground. For a moment, he lay there like an upturned turtle, his arms and legs flailing against nothing. A peel of amused laughter from Effy split the air. Tony leapt to his feet, his face flushing scarlet. He threw the notebook at Effy, and stomped off into the house. I expected Effy to pick up her book, but she didn't. As I looked to see why, I realised that she was staring straight at me, a curious look on her face.

I soon discovered that I had piqued Effy's curiosity. It didn't take long for us to become firm friends, and I decided to trust her with my secret. Oddly enough, it didn't faze her at all. She accepted it without question, and treated me as though I was normal. Mum freaked out when she first found out that I had told Effy, but she calmed down eventually. Soon, we both became friends with the whole family. Mum was a little worried when Anthea and Tony found out about me, but they showed no inclination to spread it around.

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><p>It was as I got older that I started to realise that my powers could actually be useful. I started helping people whenever I could, always trying to stay out of sight, away from any publicity. Eventually, mum suggested that I should create a secret identity for myself.<p>

"I'll make you an outfit!" She declared, clapping her hands together excitedly. I rolled my eyes at her. I thought _I_ was the one from another planet!

I soon discovered that she was very serious. She came in one day with mountains of brightly coloured spandex.

"Are we having an Eighties revival?" I asked with distain. Mum simply chuckled and got to work at her sewing machine.

Later that day, she hounded me to try on the outfit she had made. She insisted that it had to be made of spandex, to cut down on wind resistance when I fly. I wondered how come she was suddenly such an expert. Was there a 'super-hero milliners shop' that I didn't know about? Not wanting to argue, I agreed to try the outfit on. I walked back into the sitting room feeling ridiculous.

"Well?" I asked expectantly. Effy was sat on the sofa, casually flicking through a magazine. She glanced up and smirked at my appearance. My mum gasped, and I swear I saw tears in her eyes. The outfit was very tight, clinging uncomfortably to every single inch of me. It was bright pink, with a darker pink belt around my hips.

"Naomi, you look wonderful!" Said my mother.

"Very fetching!" Added Keiran, my mother's boyfriend. I turned to receive the only opinion that had an outside chance of being sane.

"What do you think?" I asked Effy. She surveyed me with an eyebrow arched.

"Super!" She said, while suppressing a giggle. I rolled my eyes at her. "Well it doesn't leave much to the imagination, does it?" She asked.

"Oh God!" I walked towards my mother's full length mirror, staring at myself as I turned this way and that.

"I've always thought your arse was your best feature" said Effy with a mischievous wink.

"Right that's it, I'm not wearing it!"

"Nonsense!" Declared my mother. "It looks perfect. We'll add a cape if you like, although why you want to cover up what nature has given you…" Her voice trailed away as she headed back to her sewing machine.

"I still don't see how no-one will recognise me" I huffed, desperately trying to get out of wearing this thing.

"Well it'll keep their eyes off your face, for a start" said Keiran helpfully. Mum clipped him around the ear, causing him to yelp in pain.

"Don't be silly" she scolded. "I've made this!" With mounting dread, I looked at what my mother was holding in her hand.

"A mask!" I asked, incredulous.

"I think a mask would be very sharp" added Keiran.

Soon I was fully kitted out in my new outfit, along with mask, boots and a sky-blue cape that just skimmed the base of my bum. Mum sighed nostalgically as she watched me.

"Oh, I remember when you first came to us" she said dreamily. I shot a smirk at Effy. We had heard this tale so many times before. Unaware of our exchange, mum continued: "We were fucking on a beach in India, when we heard this huge crash."

"What?" I asked in horror. Okay, this part was new. I always thought they were sunbathing! "You never told me _that_!"

Mum tutted at me.

"You're old enough to know these things now, Naomi. How do you think you got here – by stork?"

"I'm adopted, mother" I answered dryly.

"What are you going to call yourself?" Asked mum, changing the subject. I shrugged.

"Do I really need a name?"

"Well of course you need a name! How else will the papers write about you?"

"Wonder Girl!" Suggested Keiran with enthusiasm. I glared at him. "Er, Wonder Woman?" He amended, tentatively.

"I think that one's been used already" I answered.

We began to hotly debate what exactly I should call myself. Most of the suggestions began with either 'super' or 'wonder'. The argument threatened to drag on into the night, as I didn't like any of the ideas that were given.

"We all write our favourite suggestion down on a piece of paper" offered Effy with a bored sigh. "Then they all get mixed together, you pick one at random and you have to stick to it. Okay?" I mulled it over for a minute, before requesting a proviso.

"I get to blackball three names though, if I don't like them." Anthea and Tony had joined us by this point, and a few bottles of wine had already disappeared. I was seriously dreading whatever suggestions I was going to get.

"You get _one_ blackball" said Effy decisively. I tried to argue for two, but the rest of our group were adamant.

A few minutes later, I nervously reached into a bowl full of name suggestions. Cautiously, I selected a piece of paper, and unfolded it. It wasn't hard to work out whose it was.

"Tony, there is no way I'm calling myself 'Lady Boobilicious'!"

"But it suits you!" He told me with a wide grin. I scrunched the paper and threw it to the floor, before reaching for another.

"You've got to stick to this one" said Effy.

"What! That can't be my blackball, it wasn't even a proper suggestion!" Effy simply smirked, to show that she wouldn't budge. I took a deep breath, and unfolded the second suggestion.

"Superdrug?" I stared in amazement at the name in front of me. "Are you shitting me?" I looked dubiously around the room. Who on earth thought _that_ was a good name?

"I couldn't think of anything else," said Keiran with a shrug. "But I thought it had a nice ring to it." I rolled my eyes at him.

"That's because it's a chain of chemists, you prick!"

"Is it? Oh. Well, you learn something new every day."

I sighed, and reached again for the bowl of papers. Effy arched an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked. "Effy, are you seriously going to make me fly around the skies of Bristol calling myself 'Superdrug'? I'll be a fucking laughing stock!" For a moment, we stared each other out. I honestly thought that she was going to try making me stick to the deal, but finally she relented.

"Yeah, it's probably copyrighted anyway."

I opened up the third paper.

"Ultra Woman."

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><p>That was about a year ago. Since then, the people of Bristol have gotten used to seeing me flying through the sky. I help out whenever I can – your usual super-hero stuff, really. Fighting crime, rescuing people from fires. The occasional cat stuck in a tree, but I don't make a habit of that.<p>

The job has its perks too. We put a patent on my image, and I have a number of sponsorship deals that bring in quite a bit of money. There are action figures of me for sale, for Christ sakes! Merchandising is a pretty lucrative game. What, did you expect me to give all that to charity? Come on, I'm not Mother Fucking Theresa! A girl's still got to eat! It makes a nice change, really. Money had always been tight while I was growing up, but now we're pretty comfortable.

My love life has picked up somewhat as well, since becoming Ultra Woman. It's easier to chat people up when I'm in costume. Everyone expects Ultra Woman to be really confident, so it's easy enough to pretend. And a lot of girls really go for that Super-hero thing. Oh, didn't I mention that? Yeah, I'm as gay as a window. Good thing too, really. For some reason, men don't seem to like the idea of a woman who is much stronger than them. Maybe they think I'll accidentally snap their cock off if we go to it. But for women, it's a different matter - they really like it.

Okay, not _all_ women. Some seem to find the whole 'from another planet' thing off-putting. I look completely human in every way, but some women just get wigged out by it. I don't know - perhaps they think my fingers shoot sperm or something. (They don't, by the way).

But of course I still have to be careful who I trust. Being Ultra Woman is handy for getting dates, but I've yet to meet anyone that I would trust my secrets with. I would love to meet a woman that I could share my whole self with, but it hasn't happened yet. I haven't given up hope though – I feel sure that the right woman for me is out there somewhere.

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><p><strong>For those that didn't get the reference, 'Ultra Woman' and her costume comes from an episode of The New Adventures of Superman. Do a Google image search of Ultra Woman if you want to see how the costume looks.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I've been blown away by the response to the first chapter! Thanks so much for all the reviews so far. I just hope I haven't set expectations too high for me to meet!**

**Writing comedy can be a very hit and miss business. Something may sound good in my head, but just not work when it's down on paper (well, computer screen). so I just hope I get more hits than misses. **

**I LOVE to hear what people have liked, but please also feel free to tell me whatever you think just doesn't work - or just completely bombs! It's all useful, since I am really looking to improve my comedy writing. I am currently writing my own presentations for my magic shows, and would love to add as much humour to these as possible. Just keep in mind that little expression: _'constructive_ criticism'.**

**But on with chapter two. You know what this story needs? Some Fitches...**

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><p>"Oh Jesus holy mother of God! Fecking Hell, would you just… Oh, you're the Devil's own contraption of Hell!"<p>

I didn't need my super-hearing to know that my mother's boyfriend Kieran was struggling with something.

"Mum, what the fuck's he doing?" I asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at my mother. She smiled benignly at me.

"He's fitting the secret compartment at the back of your wardrobe" she said softly. I rolled my eyes at her. It was only a whole year since I had asked Kieran to fit that compartment, so that I could hide my costumes. He was getting quicker at household tasks.

"Holy arseholes of death!"

"Is he okay in there?" I asked. Mum smiled and shook her head.

"He needs to learn, Naomi. Just leave him to it."

I chuckled. She sounded like he was her second child at times, instead of her partner. The door to the sitting room opened and the cheery face of a slightly overweight, scruffy Irishman appeared in the doorway.

"Ah Naomi!" He said with an over-the–top bow in my direction. "I'm terribly sorry, but your little hidey-hole won't be finished as promptly as I hoped." I smiled.

"That's fine, don't worry" I told him. He shuffled fully into the room and collapsed ungainly onto the sofa.

"I'll get you a beer, love" said mum as she disappeared into the kitchen. She returned a moment later and handed a bottle to Kieran. "Sorry, they've not been in the fridge."

Kieran smiled at me and held the bottle expectantly in my direction. I rolled my eyes, but took it from him. I blew on it, causing icy fragments to appear around the bottle.

"Ah, you're a good lass, Naomi!" He told me. I grinned back at him.

Things hadn't always been so cordial between us. I was eleven when mum first brought this rather tatty looking man home, and told me that he was 'the one'. Her bringing boyfriends home to meet me was a rarity, but I still took against him at first sight. I gave him an icy stare. Mum went absolutely ballistic at me. As if it was my fault! Super powers can be hard to control sometimes. Besides, he thawed out eventually.

In time I discovered that Kieran wasn't so bad, once I gave him a chance. He made my mum happy, and he was pleasant company around the house. For years, it had just been the two of us. Ever since my 'dad' ran off when I was a baby, it had just been me and mum. Letting other people in just wasn't in our nature. Trusting Kieran had been a big step for my mum, and I eventually understood that he was worthy of that trust. Despite being utterly useless at DIY.

A siren rang out from somewhere, cutting through the silence of the sitting room. I sighed noisily as I rose to my feet.

"For fuck's sake" I muttered under my breath. Couldn't the odd night off be allowed?

"What is it, love?" Asked mum, concern etched across her face. I may be invulnerable, but my mum still worries about me.

"Just a siren somewhere. I'd better go check it out." I quickly stripped off my outer clothes, revealing my super-suit underneath. I had long ago ditched the mask – it itched my face, and was awkward to carry around with me when I wasn't in costume. It hardly seemed needed anyway – as Naomi, no one even knew me.

"Take care, love" said mum, as I headed for the door.

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><p>I soon found the source of the siren. A team of firemen were outside a factory not far from the Quayside. I landed lightly beside them.<p>

"Anything I can do to help?" I asked the fireman who appeared to be in charge.

"Hi Ultra Woman. No, I think we've got this one under control. There's no one inside, and we've got here before the fire's really got started."

I nodded, but did a quick scan of the building with my x-ray vision, just in case. Seeing that it was empty, I decided to leave. There was no point me helping with putting out a straight-forward fire. I always tried to be mindful of the work that the local authorities did. I was here to help, not put people out of work by doing jobs that they could do.

Having got myself all keyed up for a bit of rescuing, I didn't feel like heading straight home. Instead, I hovered around the sky for a bit, looking out for anyone that might need some help. It was a pretty quiet evening, but at last I caught sight of two women arguing beside a freshly crashed car. It didn't seem like a bad smash, but I decided to take a look - the women were very pretty. Oh, don't get me wrong: I don't just help out the attractive citizens of Bristol! The less aesthetically pleasing people also get my help. It's just an added bonus sometimes, being able to chat up good looking damsels in distress. And since I have x-ray vision, I can find out in advance if it's going to be worth my effort.

Not that I do that of course.

No way.

_Definitely_ not.

"Ladies, is everything okay?" I asked as I landed close to the women. Two identical pairs of brown eyes turned to face me - they were twins. And seeing them up close, I instantly upgraded my assessment of them from 'pretty' to 'gorgeous'. Both of them rolled their eyes at me, almost in unison.

"Does it look like everything's okay?" Asked one, gesturing in the direction of the car. Its front end was wrapped around a tree. Although the smash can't have been at speed, the car looked in very bad shape, as it had absorbed the brunt of the impact. "I've totalled my Mercedes."

"I told you to keep your eyes on the road" snapped the other girl.

"It wasn't my fault!" Argued the first girl. "We passed a well fit guy, I was just having a look!"

The twins began bickering over the accident. I stood there feeling very uncomfortable, not sure if I should try to intervene. It didn't seem wise. I'll happily step in front of a runaway freight train, but even _I'm_ not stupid enough to get involved in a family row. Instead, I just watched them while they argued. They really were two of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. They weren't very tall, but they had curves in all the right places. One – the one who's car it was – had dark brown, almost purple hair. It was long, and fell in gentle curls around her face. The other twin had bright red hair, also long, but it had been straightened. There was something vaguely familiar about the two of them that I just couldn't place.

"Are you still here?" Asked the red-head sharply, reminding me that I had been staring a little.

"Can I help?" I asked, feeling a little thrown by their reception of me so far. I was used to people being glad to see me when I turned up to offer assistance.

"Not unless you're from the AA" answered the red-head with a sneer. The other girl elbowed her sister in the ribs.

"Don't be rude, Em! She could drop us off."

"Sure" I answered, with my warmest smile. "I'll take you wherever you want to go."

_Please_ say to heaven and back!

"Robenna Mansion" said the girl who owned the car. I stared at her.

"Robenna Mansion – as in the Fitch estate?"

Rob and Jenna Fitch were the premier couple in Bristol. Self-made millionaires, the two of them were almost as famous in this town as me. They ran their own huge corporation, and had a vast private estate in the most exclusive area of town.

"Yes" said the brunette, with a tone that implied that what she was telling me was obvious. "We're their daughters. I'm Katie, this is Emily." That would explain why these two ladies seemed familiar – they appeared in the society pages of the local press almost as often as Jenna and Rob.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Ultra Woman."

Katie chuckled.

"Yeah, I kind of got that from the way you flew out of the sky." I shrugged awkwardly. I'm still struggling a little with the whole fame thing – I keep forgetting that everyone already knows who I am. I guess I am rather unique. "I'm glad I've met you, actually" continued Katie. "There's something I've always wanted to ask you."

"Look, if this is about my fingers…"

Katie waved a hand dismissively.

"No, it's about the outfit. Why spandex? The whole thing is just a complete fashion nightmare!" She looked me up and down with a look of utter distain.

"My mum made it for me" I muttered, feeling the last remnants of my usual confidence trickle away in the face of this feisty brunette. She shrugged, seemingly appeased by my answer.

"Well can you drop us off then?" She asked suddenly.

"She's not carrying _me_ anywhere" grumbled Emily, staring at her sister. She had hardly made eye contact with me at all. "Besides, we can't just leave your car."

"So get in the car, and I'll carry that" I offered. God, what the fuck was I doing? She clearly didn't want my help, yet here I was falling over myself to be useful to them. Emily let out a low sigh.

"Fine" she muttered, as she climbed into the back seat of the car. Katie followed her, and once the two of them were safely strapped in, I carefully picked up the car and set off in the direction of the Fitch family home.

It wasn't too far by air, and soon I was gently lowering Katie's totalled Mercedes onto the gravel driveway of Robenna Mansion.

"Are you okay, girls?" Asked a thick scouse accent, coming from the direction of the massive house. I turned to see Mr Fitch himself walking towards us. Both girls assured him that they were fine. Once certain of that, Mr Fitch turned to face me.

"Ah, Ultra Woman! At last we meet!" He held a hand out to me, which I shook. He seemed to be one of those men that prided himself on the strength of his handshake – he gripped my hand firmly with his. It was a little rash, considering that I could break all the bones in his hand if I wanted to. "I take it you've just saved my two girls, eh?"

"I just gave them a ride home" I answered, not wanting to overstate my role.

"Well that's very kind of you" said Mr Fitch warmly. He turned to face the twins. "Did you two girls say thank you to Ultra Woman, for getting you home?" I bit back a laugh. His tone reminded me of when I was a kid, and mum used to say 'did you remember to thank Mrs Stonem for your tea?'

"Thanks" said Emily, with a cold scowl. I wondered just what her problem with me was.

"Yeah, thanks Ultra Woman" said Katie, with a genuine friendliness to her voice. Well, at least one twin seems to like me. Mr Fitch seemed placated, and either didn't notice or chose to ignore Emily's rudeness. He gave me a huge, toothy smile. That reminds me: I must get our old piano tuned.

"We're doing this little event tomorrow, if you'd like to come along" he told me. "Fitch Corporation is opening up a new charity organisation."

I hesitated, trying to think of a suitable excuse. Personal appearances are my least favourite thing. I'm usually just expected to stand around looking all heroic, or maybe deliver a lame speech. Besides, I rarely endorsed anything without stringently checking it out for myself, first.

"The girls will be there. And so will my wife – I'd love you to meet her."

"Okay" I found myself saying. What the fuck? "Sure, I'd love to."

"Great! It's tomorrow, seven in the evening, at Fitch Corp head office." He gestured back in the direction of the house. "But why don't you come in, have a drink?"

"Oh, no thanks, not when I'm flying" I told him. It was really just an excuse – alcohol has no effect on me at all, I just wanted to get away. "I better get going. See you tomorrow Mr Fitch."

"Call me Rob" he shouted after me, as I soared into the air.

Okay, what the hell just happened? Why on earth did I just agree to do some stupid public appearance for Fitch Corp, with no more than a day's notice?

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><p>"Mum's going to go mental at me" I told Effy. After leaving Robenna Mansion, I had headed straight to Effy's house and told her all about my meeting with the Fitch twins and their father. "She hates these big, faceless corporations. She's always saying it's about time Rob Fitch had a charitable part of his organisation." I frowned. "I don't even know why I said I'd do it." Effy raised a questioning eyebrow at me.<p>

"Really? I thought it was obvious."

"Please enlighten me" I requested sarcastically, not really in the mood for Effy's usual all-knowing aura. She smirked at me.

"Since you got here, all you've talked about is that beautiful but surly red-head."

"Emily? No, it's not about her. Anyway, who said she's beautiful?" I knew I was arguing that grass isn't green with that part, but I hate it that Effy is so often right.

"_You_ did" she answered. "She's obviously caught your interest. You're so used to girls throwing themselves at you, that you want to know why this one doesn't even seem to like you." I mulled that over for a moment before answering. There was certainly something about Emily that kept me thinking about her. It was true that I'd barely talked about anything else since arriving at Effy's house. And hadn't I been all set to turn Mr Fitch down, until he mentioned that the twins would be there?

"Oh God, I'm so shallow!"

Effy chuckled at me.

"It's not shallow, you're just sick of girls that _look_ for your attention."

"So what do I do?" I asked pathetically. Effy just shrugged. Perfect! Why the fuck isn't she 'all-knowing' when _I_ want her to be? "You're no help" I snapped.

"Just turn on the Ultra Woman charm" she answered with a grin. I nodded absently. That approach certainly seemed to work with most women. "Or failing that, just x-ray her, then at least you can say that you've seen her naked." I rolled my eyes at Effy.

"I don't _do_ that" I insisted.

"I know" she said simply. Then as an afterthought, she added "Oh, did I mention? I'm thinking of getting my birthmark removed."

"You don't have a birthmark."

"And just how would you know that?" She asked with another smirk.

"Bitch."

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><p>The next evening, I went as promised to The Fitch Corporation. It was an informal drinks and canapés reception for the usual faces of the local council, local celebrities, and people from the business world. Mr Fitch had gone all out to make it a fancy affair. Everyone was in their finest clothes, leaving me feeling – not for the first time - rather ridiculous in my usual bright pink outfit. The twins were dressed identically in beautiful purple dresses, though I suspected that dressing alike hadn't been their own choice.<p>

I stood next to Mr Fitch on a temporary podium as he made his opening address. For a man who had to make a lot of speeches, he was terrible at public speaking. I swallowed a yawn as he waffled on endlessly about the good work that his charity foundation will do. Then he began talking about what appeared to be his favourite topic: himself. Mr Fitch was proud to be known as a self-made man, and seemed to relish any opportunity to talk about his accomplishments.

"You can achieve anything that you put your mind to" he was telling the assembled crowd. "My wife Jenna and I are always telling our three lovely kids that. If you have a burning desire to achieve something, then just do it. Like me, you too can… _scratch that Fitch._"

I wrinkled my nose at the unfortunate image that his words created. An awkward silence hung in the room, as Mr Fitch paused in his speech. I glanced over his shoulder at the card that he had been reading from. Rather ambitiously, he had written 'pause for laughs' under his previous line. He seemed oblivious to the fact that no one was laughing.

Eventually his speech drew to a close, and everyone was able to begin some serious drinking, which was what I suspected everyone was really there for. I made a bee-line for the twins. Katie greeted me in a friendly manner, but I was peeved to see that Emily was still being very distant.

"You look fantastic" I told them with an appraising look. Katie grinned broadly at me.

"Thanks! You look like Barbara Cartland's personal shopper."

I laughed. There was a refreshing bluntness to this girl that I couldn't help warming to.

"Yeah, not much call for super-heroes to wear posh frocks" I told her with a grin. Emily just scowled. Okay, that girl is seriously tugging on my cape now. What on earth is her attitude all about?

I glanced up to see Mr and Mrs Fitch walking over to us.

"Great speech dad" said Katie. Mr Fitch beamed with pride.

"Thanks love. They loved it, didn't they?" We all muttered fake platitudes about how well his speech had gone. Mr Fitch accepted them readily. Then he turned to face me. "Ah, I see you're getting on well with my two girls here, Ultra Woman" he said with a smile. "I'd like to introduce you to my wonderful wife, Jenna." The imposing figure of Jenna Fitch moved closer.

"Delighted to meet you!" She told me with enthusiasm. "Rob told me all about how you saved our daughters." Emily scoffed at that and crossed her arms across her chest.

"I didn't do anything, really" I insisted, but Mrs Fitch had already made up her mind about the event.

"Nonsense! There's no need to be so modest. You absolutely _must_ come over for a family dinner, and let us thank you properly." My first instinct was to decline – she seemed far too keen for my liking. But then I caught sight of a scowl on Emily's face, and once again I was agreeing to something against my better judgement.

"I'd love to" I found myself saying. "Just tell me when."

Mrs Fitch snatched onto my acceptance immediately.

"You will? Oh, wonderful! Tomorrow. You shall come over tomorrow, and have a Fitch family dinner with us."

"Okay" I agreed. Well that sounds nice, doesn't it? A family meal with all of the Fitches. Jenna actually seems lovely and friendly – I'm sure I'll have a great time.

Right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks once again for the response so far to this story. **

**I'm definitely still writing You Make Loving Fun, but I have really enjoyed getting into this story. It's all new and shiny at the moment, and shiny things are so very distracting!**

**But on with this story. It's time for a Fitch family dinner, and it's only chapter 3. Is that a record? Plus I'm sure you'll spot the little nod to Buffy in here as well.**

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><p>With a healthy dose of trepidation, I rang the doorbell at Robenna Mansion. It was a vast, imposing building, with a distinct Baroque look to it. Very gothic – it seems that the Fitches like the dramatic look. As the large door began to open, I fixed my best super-hero smile to my face.<p>

"Wow! Is it my birthday and no one told me?"

I frowned at the young, unfamiliar man who answered the door.

"Stop perving and let her in, worm" said the unmistakable voice of Katie from somewhere inside. The young man complied, opening the door wide enough to admit my entrance. I stepped into a roomy, open-plan hallway.

"I'm James, and this is your lucky night!" Said my greeter. I arched a sardonic eyebrow at his over-confidence.

"Just ignore him, we usually do" said Katie, stepping nearer. She was dressed in a very formal-looking skirt and blouse. It was very demure by her usual standards. I glanced back at James and realised that he was also very soberly dressed. He had on a jacket, and a bow-tie that he constantly fidgeted with.

"Should I have made more effort?" I asked Katie, as I cast a look down at my omnipresent super-suit. Katie chuckled.

"Yeah, 'cause that's just what that outfit needs! Add a pink bow-tie to it, and you'd go down a treat at stag dos." James opened his mouth to say something, but Katie cut him off before he could even begin a sentence. "Don't even think it" she growled at him. "Mum insisted that we all had to make an effort tonight" she told me. Wow, all this fuss for me? "It's not often you have a super-hero over for dinner!"

Katie beckoned for me to follow, and led the way into the sitting room. From the outside, the house looked old and drafty, but inside, it was done out in a very modern and comfortable style. I glanced around the room and saw that the whole family were assembled. Instinctively I sought out Emily, trying to make eye-contact with her, but she avoided my efforts. She was also dressed very conservatively, in a simple pinafore dress. Realising that she wasn't going to look at me, I gave a warm smile instead to Mr and Mrs Fitch, who were walking forward to greet me. They were also dressed smartly. Rob had on a jacket and tie, and like James, he was fiddling constantly with the knot at his neck.

"Ah, Ultra Woman! Can I take your cape?" Asked Mrs Fitch.

"Oh, er no. I prefer to keep it on. You have a lovely home, Mrs Fitch."

Mrs Fitch chuckled in an affected manner.

"Thank you! But please, there's no need to be formal. It's Jenna and Rob."

I nodded, and held out the things I had brought with me.

"Tulips! How thoughtful" said Jenna as she took the flowers from me.

"I got them from Holland" I said, before handing her a bottle of wine as well. "And I stopped off at France on the way back for this." I couldn't help chancing another glance in Emily's direction: flowers from Amsterdam and wine direct from Bordeaux usually had girls swooning into my arms. I'm not saying that earth girls are easy, but my powers do come in useful at times. Clearly disinterested, Emily just rolled her eyes. Jenna on the other hand, was very impressed. She went into rhapsodies of thanks that quite startled me. I was pleased though – I had spent a lot of time picking out which bottle of wine to bring. With all their money, I assumed that Jenna and Rob would probably be wine connoisseurs.

"We'll keep this for another time" said Jenna, indicating the bottle. "We've got a bottle of Blue Nun already opened."

Soon, we were all sat around the table in a very formal dining room. It was a long room, and the table stretched to almost the full length of it. Jenna and Rob were sat at either end. I was sat at one side, next to Katie. Emily was sat opposite me, next to James. She was looking anywhere but at me. Everyone seemed ill at ease, and the conversation was stalling somewhat.

"Isn't this nice?" Asked Jenna, choosing to ignore the atmosphere. "It gives us a chance to get to know you."

"_I'd_ like to get to know you" said James, with an intonation that left his meaning in no doubt. Katie scoffed at him.

"You wouldn't stand a chance!"

"Of course not!" Added Jenna. "Ultra Woman's gay." She gave a small smile in my direction.

"Don't you mean _super_ gay?" Asked James with a grin. Jenna carried on, ignoring the interruption.

"She'd be much more likely to go for… well, for _Emily_, I suppose." Something in the way she placed the emphasis on Emily's name caught my attention. Was she suggesting that Emily and I should date? I cast a glance in the younger twin's direction, and saw her glaring ferociously at her mother. Jenna seemed oblivious.

"What would you like to know?" I asked, keen to keep the conversation running along more harmonious lines.

"Well, we know the _public_ version of your story" said Jenna, giving me a thin-lipped smile. "We know that you're from another planet, but how did you get here?"

"I have no idea" I told her smoothly, sticking to the published account of my arrival on earth. In reality, I did know a few more details, but they had never gone further than my immediate circle of family and friends. I saw no reason for that to change just yet.

"I see." Jenna looked thoughtful, as though she was taking in my every word. "And how are you finding life on earth?"

I shrugged.

"Earth's the only home I've ever known, I don't remember anything before it."

Jenna nodded, sagely.

"Well your super powers are amazing," she continued. "But do you have any weaknesses?"

"Yeah, girls with tattoos" I answered with a sheepish grin. I just can't resist a pretty girl with ink. "I'd love to get a tattoo myself, but needles can't penetrate my skin." Katie chuckled.

"She means _physical_ weaknesses, you idiot!"

"Oh." I frowned. "You mean, like allergies?"

"No, like do you have an Achilles heal?"

"No, my heels don't really do anything special" I answered slowly. What the hell does she think my heels can do? Maybe she thinks I have rocket boosters in them. Wow, that would be cool! Oops! Focus, Naomi! As I tuned back into the room around me, I realised that everyone was laughing gently. I felt uneasy, not really getting the joke. With a sigh, Emily decided to put me out of my misery.

"It's an expression. It means do you have any frailty, you know? A vulnerability to anything." It was the first words I had heard from her all evening.

"Right." I gave it some thought, but nothing came to mind. "Not that I know of." I shot a quick smile at Jenna, who was staring quite intently at me. For a second I felt uneasy, until the moment was broken by the door opening. Everyone looked around as a middle-aged woman brought plates of food into the room. As she set them down on the table, I noticed that Jenna didn't even acknowledge her presence.

The woman then left, which seemed to be everyone's queue to commence eating.

"Is the salt there, love?" Asked Rob, hardly raising his attention from his meal.

"Yes. James, pass the salt to your father please."

With a world weary sigh, James rose to his feet.

"I have to do everything in this fucking house!"

Jenna looked up in shock.

"James! Language!" She scolded.

"But I'm sick of having to walk backwards and forwards, passing condiments around!" He argued.

"This is a sixteen seater table, James" said Jenna, with a roll of her eyes. "What do you want me to do?"

James passed the salt to his father, but continued grumbling his complaints. All other conversation was at an end though, as everyone tucked heartily into the food in front of us.

"That was a fantastic meal, Jenna" I said, as I cleared the final remnants from my plate. It really had been a wonderful dinner. Jenna looked pleased.

"Thank you, Ultra Woman! That means a lot to me. I _personally_ hand-picked the staffing agency that sent us our cook."

"So what do you two do?" I asked the twins, hoping to get any kind of conversation going with Emily.

"Both my girls work for the family business" said Rob, practically bursting with pride.

"Not from choice" grumbled Emily. Rob gave a sigh at her words.

"Emily, what more do you want me to do?" He asked. This was clearly a topic that was often debated by them. "I set up the charity foundation like you wanted."

So that's the only reason Fitch Corp has a charity component? Because Rob was trying to appease one of his daughters?

"I don't know why we didn't set it up ages ago" said Jenna with a shake of her head. "It's all tax deductible."

"It's just a sham!" Snapped Emily. "You don't really care about doing good for people, it's just so you _look_ like you care."

Rob chuckled indulgently at Emily's outburst.

"I'm sorry, Ultra Woman. Our little Emsy here wants to save the world."

"I know the feeling" I said sincerely. I stared at Emily with even more interest than before. She glanced up at my words. At first she was scowling, but as our eyes met, her look softened momentarily, before she looked away again. I couldn't help noticing that Rob had not disagreed with Emily's accusation. I got the distinct impression that Emily was often a lone voice against her parents about such things.

"She helps out at a homeless shelter" continued Rob. It was clear from his tone that such actions baffled him. Katie frowned with disgust.

"You wouldn't catch me there. It's well rank – the people stink."

Emily rolled her eyes at her sister.

"That's because they're homeless! Besides, it's not a shelter, it's a soup kitchen."

"They're just work-shy" said Jenna with finality. "There's no need for anyone to be homeless. _We've_ shown what hard work can achieve." She gave a self-satisfied nod in Rob's direction.

"Yeah? Not everyone has the same breaks you did though!" Argued Emily.

"That's enough, Emily!" Snapped Jenna, her carefully cultured air of calm disappearing in an instant. "Now I need your help in the kitchen." She rose from the table and headed from the room without a backwards glance.

"I'm surprised you know where it is" muttered Emily under her breath. It was too low for anyone else to catch, but I chuckled as her words reached my ears. Emily looked sharply in my direction, and I attempted to disguise my laugh as a cough. She frowned slightly at me, before following after her mother.

As the remaining Fitches fell into stilted conversation, I found my attention wandering out of the room after Emily. Without even meaning to, my super-hearing latched on to the conversation occurring in the kitchen.

"You could be a little nicer to her, is all I'm saying" snapped Jenna. I could hear a sigh from Emily.

"All the grief you've given me about being gay, but if I shag a girl that's a superhero, _that's_ okay?"

Oh, hold the front page – did Emily just say that she's gay? _And_ she's talking about shagging me! I call that a result. Okay, perhaps not the part I should be focused on right now.

"Who said anything about shagging?" Answered Jenna, distaste creeping in to her voice. "I'm just asking you to take an interest in her. Is that really so hard? She obviously likes you – she hasn't taken her eyes off you all night." Shit, I thought I was being a bit less obvious than that. Jenna's voice continued: "Maybe let her take you out to dinner sometime. Who knows where it might lead!" Fuck, did I hear that right? I must be mistaken, because it almost sounded like Jenna was trying to pimp Emily onto me! What the fuck is going on in this family?

"Ultra Woman! Hellooo!" A hand waving in front of my face brought me back to what was happening in this room. "Is everything okay?" Asked Katie.

"You looked like you suddenly smelt a fart" said James. "It wasn't me" he added quickly.

"Sorry, I thought I heard a siren somewhere" I muttered, using my stock excuse whenever my mind drifted off elsewhere.

"You don't have to go, do you?" Asked Rob, sadly. God it was tempting. This whole situation was getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute. Dinner with the Adams Family would have been less weird.

As I debated whether or not to make my excuses and leave, Emily returned from the kitchen, closely followed by Morticia. Emily had a face like fury – you could fry eggs on it. I made my mind up in that instant.

"I'm afraid I have to go" I said, rising to my feet. I had no wish to remain any longer in this excruciating environment. I still found Emily fascinating, but I had no interest in trying to date someone who's being foisted on me by their parents. Jenna's face fell, comically.

"Oh, really? And I was just about to get the Pictionary out." Hmm, well I'm sorry to miss that.

"Another time, maybe. I'm afraid I heard a siren somewhere, and I'd better go check it out."

Jenna did her best to hide her displeasure at my words.

"Well, I suppose if duty calls, then we understand, don't we Rob? But you must come round again sometime." Yes, just as soon as Satan takes up skiing. "I don't have your number though." She looked expectantly at me. I nodded.

"Yes, it's…" I frowned and pressed my middle finger to my ear, as if listening intently to something. It was an old dodge that Effy taught me, to get out of awkward requests. "…I'd really better go" I said urgently.

"Yes of course" muttered Jenna. "Emily, show Ultra Woman to the door please." Emily sullenly rose to her feet to comply with her mother's request.

We had just reached the front door, when the door behind us opened and Katie joined us in the hallway.

"You said you like girls with tattoos?" She asked in a whisper. "Well, Emily's got one." She nodded in her sister's direction. Emily glared at her. If looks could kill. Well in my case they can, but you know what I mean.

As I processed Katie's words, I couldn't stop a smile from spreading across my face. So Emily has a tattoo,eh? this new piece of information changed things completely.

"Yeah? Where is it?" I asked.

"That's for us to know, and you to find out" said Katie, haughtily. Oh fuck. The temptation to have a quick scan with my x-ray vision was so very strong!

"Don't you fucking dare!" Snapped Emily, as though she was reading my mind.

"No! I wouldn't!" I argued, raising my hands defensively. "But I _would_ love to see it" I added, with what I hoped was a winning smile. All thoughts of _not_ chasing Emily had vanished with this new discovery. Before she had a chance to answer, the door behind us opened once again.

"Katie, can you come here please?" Asked Jenna. Katie rolled her eyes and exchanged a look with Emily.

"See you, Ultra Woman" she said, before disappearing from the hallway with a sigh. Was that Jenna's oh so subtle way of leaving me and Emily alone together? Whatever it was, I wanted to at least try to make use of it.

"Just give me a chance, please!" I asked. Emily rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, I only date my own species."

"Well I'm told that once you've had alien, you never go back" I said with a smirk. Despite her best efforts, Emily couldn't stop a laugh from escaping her lips at that. The sound set my soul on fire. Believing that her resolve may be weakening, I pressed on. "Come on, am I really so bad?" Emily's eyes narrowed as she surveyed me carefully.

"Well, you're prettier than E.T., I suppose." A smile flashed across her face. It was gone the next instant, but for half a second it transformed her. It was the most beautiful sight that I'd ever seen, and I knew that I would gladly do anything to see it again. She sighed, and I sensed her mood shifting back to its former surliness. "I'm just not interested" she said flatly. I felt like every breath of air left my body in that moment.

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><p>"But what's her problem with me?" I asked Effy. She rolled her eyes.<p>

"For fuck's sake, Naomi! I _still_ don't know, no matter how many times you ask me!"

I sighed, and rolled onto my side to face her. We were lying side by side on the floor in my room. I had hardly been back five minutes before Effy was here, wanting to know how dinner went. I had already bored her senseless with details about Emily.

"Maybe she's straight!" Suggested Effy. I shook my head.

"No, I'm sure she's gay. I overheard her and Jenna talking in the kitchen."

"I'm sure I always taught you that it's rude to eavesdrop!" Said my mother, sticking her head into my room.

"Yes you did!" I said pointedly. "What do you call _this_?" Mum gave me a patronising smile.

"That's different. You were talking loud enough so that anyone passing could have heard you."

"Well so were _they_!" I argued, huffily. "It's not _my_ fault I can hear conversations from miles away!"

Mum just smiled and moved further into my room.

"What is it about this Emily girl that's got you so interested anyway?" She asked, making me wonder just how long she had been 'passing' my door for. At the mention of Emily, a goofy little smile crept onto my face.

"Well, she's beautiful" I said slowly. "And she really cares about things that matter."

"And she's got a tattoo" added Effy with a smirk. I had not neglected to inform Effy about that part. Mum nodded.

"Ah, that's three of your favourite things then. If she came with a free tub of Ben and Jerrys ice-cream, you'd have proposed already."

Inadvertently, my mind drifted off on a happy little daydream involving Emily and a tub of ice-cream. But being very much aware that my mother was still hanging around, I reluctantly dragged my mind back to the matter in hand.

"What am I going to do?" I asked pathetically. "She seems to hate the very idea of Ultra Woman!"

Mum and Effy exchanged a knowing look.

"Hmm, what should you do?" Asked Effy, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "If only you had another way to get to know her. If only you had some sort of _alternative_ identity, with which you could meet her."

"What, meet her as _me,_ you mean?" I stared uncertainly between Effy and my mother. They both nodded. The thought of it filled me with dread. Chatting up girls as Ultra Woman was one thing, but as Naomi? I'm not sure I'd even know how to start. Still, since Emily clearly isn't interested in Ultra Woman, it might be my only way of getting to know her. "Maybe I could get a job at Fitch Corp?" I said hopefully.

"You've got no qualifications" pointed out Effy. "What skills do you have?" She asked, in an imitation of an interview.

"Well, I can… leap tall buildings in a single bound" I said with a sigh. She's right. As Naomi, I have no skills that would make me remotely employable to the Fitch Corporation. "What do you suggest then?" I snapped. A slow smile spread across Effy's face.

"Didn't you say that she helps out at a soup kitchen?"

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><p><strong>So I've started to notice that I'm giving NaomiUltra Woman some of my ADD traits. Listening to other conversations without meaning to (although I can't hear them from another room!), and letting your mind wander off on other tangents during a conversation are things that I do a lot. I really annoy the people around me sometimes! After watching Battlestar Galactica, my hubbie now says that I go to my own little cylon house at times.**

**Though I suspect that Naomi and I weren't the only ones to immediately get a mental image of Emily wearing nothing but some ice-cream at the mention of Ben & Jerry's, right? **

**Yeah, you're welcome!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Myrtle's totally irrelavant author's note: I saw the new version of The Three Musketeers on Wednesday, and it is bonkers. It's one of my favourite novels, and I would love to see a version that sticks quite closely to the original source. I suppose this one kind of did, a bit, but then threw some airships into the mix as well. Why, I just don't know. ****I would love to write a fanfiction about Milady - her story, with a more sympathetic view point. Making her a victim of the violence around her, and someone who does what she needs to survive, rather than the one-dimensional demon that Dumas painted her as. Not sure I'm really up to writing a historical piece though. Who knows, maybe one day. When I don't have 2 other stories on the go!**

**I really didn't expect to get another chapter out so soon, but the response to this story is really inspiring me so much. It's just flying out of me at the moment (no pun intended).**

**To Vero: Yes, I really see Naomi as being a bit clueless, due to being home-schooled by Gina. Knowledge isn't the same thing as intelligence though, so my intention is that she is still bright, just rather naive. I hope that works okay! PS: thanks for all the lovely reviews that you have left me!**

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><p>"Please, come with me!" I could hear the whining note in my voice as I begged Effy to join me. With a bit of research, we had found out which soup kitchen Emily helped out at. We had also discovered that she would probably be there this evening. Feeling nervous about meeting her as myself, I really didn't want to go there alone.<p>

"Why don't you take Kieran?" Suggested Effy. "He looks homeless."

"I'm not going down there pretending to be homeless! I'm going there to volunteer!" I wasn't even sure why I was bothering to point that out – Effy knew fine well what my plan was, she was just being her usual annoying self.

"If you have a burning desire to help the homeless - and hopefully get yourself laid in the process - it has nothing to do with me."

"God, I shouldn't be doing this!" I said suddenly. Effy's words had given me a momentary flash of conscience about my plan. I'm supposed to be here to help people, not use the homeless to aid my love-life!

"Don't get your knickers in a knot about it" said Effy in a calming tone. "You help loads of people, you're allowed a night off. Besides, you'll still be genuinely helping out, won't you?" How she always knows just what I'm thinking, I'll never know. I often think I'm not the only one on this planet with special powers!

"Does that mean you'll come with me?" I asked, with a hopeful grin. "Come on, you know I'm useless at this stuff, just as myself."

"What, forming whole sentences? Actually conversing with people?" Her words brought home the irony of my request. Here I was wanting help to be sociable, and I was asking that help from the most taciturn woman imaginable. Still, the alternative just wasn't feasible. My mother can talk for England, and I'm sure she would love to help, but I have no wish to introduce her insane ramblings to Emily just yet. Effy closed her eyes, and I knew that she was about to agree. "Okay" she muttered.

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><p>I felt quite nervous as Effy and I headed in to the soup kitchen. It was in an old community hall that had been converted for the purpose. We walked through an entrance hall, then found ourselves in a big room with lots of mismatched furniture in it. There were a few people sat around clutching polystyrene cups of tea. They looked up briefly as we entered, then turned back to their drinks. The general noise of hustle and bustle was coming from somewhere towards the back of the room. We headed towards it. Before we took too many steps, a friendly-faced man emerged, wiping his hands on a tea towel.<p>

"Hello, can I help you?" He asked. I glanced nervously at Effy, but she simply raised an eyebrow at me. Okay, she wasn't going to make this easy for me.

"Er, yeah, we're here to help out?" I said uncertainly. A bright smile cracked the man's face in two.

"Excellent! We are always happy to welcome new volunteers! I'm Thomas. So very pleased to meet you." He shook both of our hands warmly as we introduced ourselves. "Come through!" He motioned for us to follow him through a door at the back of the room. We found ourselves in a large, serviceable kitchen. Thomas clapped his hands and everyone in the room looked expectantly towards him.

"Everyone, we have two new volunteers. Please welcome Effy and Naomi." He turned towards us. "I'm afraid we're gearing up for dinner time, so I don't have time now to introduce you to everyone. You're going to have to get stuck straight in. Naomi, please ask Emily what help she needs." My heart leapt as Thomas pointed across the kitchen to a familiar shock of bright red hair. "Effy, come with me." I stared at Effy in sudden alarm at us being separated.

"Just be smooth" she muttered to me as she followed after Thomas. Okay. Smooth. I can do that, right? Oh, fuck.

I stepped over towards Emily, a bright smile on my face.

"Hi, Thomas said to ask how I can help?" As she turned to face me, I had my usual panic that I was about to be recognised. Since ditching Ultra Woman's mask, I had taken to wearing a large pair of NHS-framed glasses, whenever I was out as myself. I also wore my hair slicked back when I was Ultra Woman, but had it just flowing loose as Naomi. No one had ever recognised me so far, but I constantly worried that my disguise was so flimsy, it was only a matter of time. Effy insisted that people could really be so blind, if they didn't know what they were looking for. And no-one knew that Ultra Woman even had a secret identity – they wouldn't be looking at me, expecting to see a super hero.

Emily gave me a friendly grin. So far so good then – she had never smiled like that at Ultra Woman.

"Great. All those need to be chopped." She indicated a huge pile of fresh vegetables. Fine, I can do this. Chopping vegetables is one thing that I can do very well. I just have to remember not to do it as quickly as I usually would at home. Regular human speed would be quite sufficient for today.

There wasn't much chance for conversation as I chopped. It was a very busy kitchen, with everyone bustling around trying to get everything ready. Emily and I exchanged barely more than pleasantries, but it was enough to convince me that she didn't recognise me.

Once things were slammed into the vast, industrial sized ovens, or simmering away in large saucepans on the hob, a serenity descended over the kitchen. People were still working, but not at the same frantic pace. Emily chuckled as she watched Effy and a blonde girl talking a little way from us.

"You're girlfriend looks like she doesn't know what to make of Panda" she said, nodding in their direction.

"Effy's not my girlfriend" I answered, a little too quickly. Emily shrugged.

"Okay" she said with disinterest. Shit, she thinks I'm straight now.

"I mean, I _am_ gay" I added quickly. "But Effy's not my girlfriend." Emily raised her eyebrows at me. Oh shit, God knows what she thinks now. "She's just my best friend, nothing more" I found myself adding. "Well, she was my first kiss, but we were just mucking around really. She prefers men anyway." Fuck, I'm really messing this up now! What if Emily thinks that I want to date Effy, but can't because she's straight? "I don't fancy her! I mean, I wouldn't go out with her if she _was_ gay. Well, I used to fancy her, but that was when I first met her. She's just my mate, now. My best mate, really." Somehow, I managed to grind the runaway juggernaut that was my mouth to a shuddering halt. Emily was staring at me with a very bemused expression.

"That's good to know" she said, with a laugh to her voice. I grinned at her to cover my embarrassment.

"Sorry, I don't get out much." Emily laughed at that. I took a deep breath, and wondered if I could salvage any of the mess I had made. "So just to recap: Effy's my girlfriend, and I'm not gay." Shit. I flapped my mouth open and shut stupidly, while I tried to figure out just how I'd gone so wrong.

"I think I get it" said Emily with a smile, as she made her way out of the kitchen.

"_Real_ smooth." I jumped, having not realised that Effy was right behind me by now.

"I'm an idiot" I said firmly. Effy just nodded her agreement. "What do I do now?" I asked.

"Well…" I didn't let Effy finish, I just shushed her as Emily re-entered the kitchen. As she moved closer, Effy eyed her carefully. "You're Emily Fitch" she said. It was more a statement than a question. Emily frowned at her.

"What of it?"

"Ultra Woman mentioned you" answered Effy. I stared questioningly at her. This hadn't been part of the plan! She cast a sly wink in my direction. Well, she can hardly make a bigger mess of this than I just did.

"Ultra Woman?" Asked Emily with suspicion.

"Yeah, she's a friend of mine."

The scorn on Emily's face made it clear that she didn't believe her. Effy just shrugged. She wasn't a one for name dropping – she was only doing this to help me out, and didn't care if people believed that she was friends with a super-hero or not. She turned casually away from Emily.

"What did she say?" Asked Emily suddenly. I stared at her. Was she interested in me as Ultra Woman after all? Effy turned back to face her, and I saw in her eyes that she knew exactly what she was doing.

"Just that she had dinner with you and your family" she said softly. "And she said that you were beautiful." She paused, to let her words sink in. "But rude." It was as much as I could do to stop myself from actually slapping myself in the face at that. Why the hell did Effy feel the need to share that? Emily snorted.

"Yeah, well she's so full of herself" she answered dismissively.

"No she's not" said Effy firmly.

Just at that moment, Thomas came over to us.

"Naomi, would you mind helping me with something for a moment?" He asked. I nearly snapped at him, before remembering that I was supposed to be here because I wanted to help.

"Sure" I said instead, and reluctantly left Effy and Emily to their conversation about my alter-ego.

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><p>I wasn't able to re-join the two of them until some time later. I hadn't been able to listen in to their conversation either, because Thomas kept asking me questions, and not allowing my attention to wander. But eventually, all the food that we had been preparing was ready, and it was time to serve it out. Again, this all happened with so much bustle, that any conversation was impossible. It was only once there was a lull in the queue of people to be served that I was able to sidle up to Emily. She gave me a tired smile, and I suddenly realised that she must come down here straight from spending a full day at work.<p>

"It's nice, how much you care about people" I found myself saying.

"I've been really fortunate. I try to help out wherever I can" she answered with a modest shrug. She cast her eyes around the room. Every table was full with people tucking into their food. "You see some really sad sights" she added, her eyes resting on one particular place. I turned to see what she was looking at, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head. There was Kieran, happily tucking in to a bowl of stew. I suppressed a sigh, and marched over to him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I asked in a harsh whisper. Kieran looked up at me with a smile.

"Naomi! Have you tried the stew? It's really good."

"It's for people who are homeless!" I told him. He grinned at me.

"I didn't realise. I came in looking for you, and this nice blonde girl sat me down and gave me this food. She said she'd have a look for some clothes for me, later."

"What are you doing here?" I asked firmly.

"You're mum said you were here, so I thought I'd see if you two wanted a lift home." I opened my mouth to argue, but I couldn't find anything to say. Effy hated being carried around by me when we flew, and would probably be grateful for an alternative ride home.

"Fine, just don't say anything to Emily" I growled. He looked around the room at that.

"Which one's Emily? Is it the wee red-headed lass? She's very pretty."

"Please don't embarrass me!" I pleaded. "I'm doing a perfectly good job of that without your help." Kieran nodded, and turned his attention back to his stew. I walked back over to Emily. Perhaps I could get away with this. Surely no one would realise that he's practically related to me?

"Effy just said that's your stepfather?" Asked Emily with a frown. Mental note: kill Effy before the night is through.

"Yeah," I answered with a laugh. "You think _you__'__re_ parents are weird!"

"When did I say that?" Asked Emily in confusion. Shit! She had never said that, it was my opinion – but as far as she knew, I'd never met her parents. Oh God! How the fuck do I get out of this one?

"Fire!" Shouted Thomas from the other side of the room. Thank fuck for that! Finally, something has gone right for me this evening.

The whole room descended into panic, as everyone reacted to his words. Thick, black smoke was billowing into the room from the entrance way, blocking off any escape. We needed another way out. I swiftly cast my eyes around the room, and saw a fire exit nearby. As I moved closer, I realised that the doors had been chained shut. Why the fuck do so many places do that? Those doors are there for a reason!

With a peek over my shoulder to make sure that I wasn't being watched, I snapped the chain like it was made of cereal, and dropped it to the floor. I threw the doors open.

"This way, everyone!" I shouted, making sure that my voice carried above the general commotion of the room. Thomas made his way over to me. "Make sure that everyone gets out" I told him, before going through to the kitchen. Certain that it was empty, I headed back to the main room. Thomas was getting everyone organised into a steady file through the doors. "Is that everyone?" I asked him, as the last few people left. He shook his head.

"No. We don't know how many customers are here, but two volunteers are missing: Emily and Panda."

Shit!

"Okay. You need to go outside now…"

"No! I won't leave them in here!" He argued.

"Thomas, you're in charge of this place. You have to make sure the fire brigade's been called, and check to see if anyone else is missing." Not wanting to stand around arguing, I practically pushed Thomas out of the door. He would have charged straight back in if Effy hadn't caught hold of his wrist.

"Thomas, we need to speak to everyone that's here, to try and find out if anyone else is missing" she told him firmly. I smiled gratefully at her. She knew that I was much better equipped to get the others out. Once Thomas was occupied, I quietly slipped back into the burning building. I cast off my glasses and outer clothes, revealing my super-suit underneath. Swiftly, I stashed my clothes somewhere out of sight. I had never figured out what else to do with them – that was one thing that the comic books never really covered. The amount of clothes that I'd lost, because I forgot where I'd left them was ridiculous.

I headed towards the source of the smoke. It led me to the entrance hallway, where a huge fire had taken hold. It was really blazing – it had to have been set deliberately. And since it was blocking the main entrance to the building, it seemed that it was intended to cause maximum carnage. I was relieved to see Emily there, trying to make her way past the fire.

"You have to get out" I told her, pointing back to the main room. If she was surprised by the presence of Ultra Woman, she didn't show it.

"Panda went to the toilets. They're through there" she told me, pointing towards the fire.

"I'll get her" I insisted. "Get out, now." I knew that her way out was clear, so I didn't need to escort her out. Panda on the other hand, was trapped. I stepped quickly through the flames, looking for the toilets. Before I even reached them, I found the same blonde girl that had earlier been talking to Effy, in the corridor. She looked panic stricken. I placed my hands on her shoulders.

"I'm going to get you out, Okay? Hold on tightly to me." I picked her up, and flew us up and over the flames. I continued flying through the next room and out of the fire exit, until I felt the cold chill of the outside air on my face. I placed Panda gently on her feet. Thomas immediately rushed up to us and enveloped her in a hug.

"Anyone else missing?" I asked him urgently.

"We don't think so, but it's hard to be sure how many were in there." I nodded, and stepped back into the burning building. It only took me a few seconds to search the place thoroughly, and be certain that it was empty. Then I went back outside. Only the volunteers were still hanging around – most of the homeless people were ambling away, knowing that the authorities were on their way. I walked over to where Effy and Emily were stood. Kieran was also heading towards them.

"Remember I'm not Naomi" I hissed at him, before we quite reached the others. "Is everyone okay?" I asked. Everyone nodded.

"Yes, thank you Ms Woman" said Kieran, with a nod of his head. "Or can I call you 'Ultra'?" I scowled at him.

"Where's Naomi?" Asked Emily suddenly.

"She's fine" I said, soothingly.

"But where is she?"

You see? This is why I rarely socialise as myself – it causes all sorts of awkward questions.

"She, er… She was tired, so I dropped her off at home" I answered. Emily's brow creased in a frown.

"Without Effy? And without her stepdad?" She asked, looking round at Effy and Kieran. Perfect! Now she thinks I'm a completely selfish cow!

"Er, she… Is Panda okay?" I looked over in Panda's direction to see Thomas fussing over her. My ruse worked – Emily walked over to Panda to see if she was okay. When I turned back to face Effy, she was staring at me with a withering look. "What was I supposed to say?" I asked.

"Why didn't you say she was overcome with smoke inhalation, so you took her to the hospital?" Asked Effy.

"Shit." I never thought of that.

"Yeah, then she'd have been all worried about you, and sympathetic next time she sees you" added Kieran.

"I hate you both."

As the fire crews pulled up, I walked back over to Panda to make sure that she was unharmed by her adventure.

"I _love_ the outfit!" She declared, as I walked over to her. "I'm Panda, what's your name?" I stared in wonder at her. Was there really still someone in Bristol who hadn't heard of me? I threw a questioning glance at Emily, but she just shrugged absently.

"Ultra Woman" I told Panda.

"So how come you can fly?" She asked, as if it was an everyday occurrence to meet someone like me.

"Well, I'm from another planet." Panda chuckled.

"Yeah, people say that about me."

Not sure what else to say to this rather strange young woman, I ended up just staring at her.

"I'd better speak to the firemen" said Thomas, before walking off towards them. Panda swiftly followed after him. Seeing my confused face, Emily chuckled.

"Yeah, that's Panda. Living in her own little world, half the time." I smiled at her. "What?" She asked.

"You're really beautiful, when you're not scowling at me." Emily rolled her eyes.

"Well, I suppose you did just save me…"

"Are you okay?" I asked, suddenly noticing a nasty burn on Emily's arm.

"It hurts like hell" she told me with a wince. "Don't you have any super powers that can fix it?"

Now, I try to live a moral life. Really I do. But every so often, a naughty thought pops into my head, and I just can't say no to it.

"Well…" I said, hesitatingly. "I could kiss you…"

Emily bit her lip as she mulled over my suggestion.

"Okay" she said with a nod. Wow, I didn't really think that would work! I placed a gentle hand on her cheek, and moved closer. Her eyelids fluttered shut as I leaned in. Cautiously, I pressed my lips against hers. They were warm and soft, and oh so inviting. Gently, we moved our lips perfectly against each others. I longed to deepen the kiss, but I really didn't want to push my luck. Reluctantly, I pulled back and stared down at her. Emily's eyes remained closed for a moment longer, and a half-smile was on her lips. She opened her eyes, and I could have sworn that her pupils were dilated. She glanced down at her arm.

"It still hurts" she said, perplexed. I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer. As my sniggering reached her ears, Emily looked up sharply at me.

"Bitch" she said, but there was no real anger in her voice.

"I can't believe you fell for it!" I told her, between giggles. "You really think I have some sort of 'magic kiss'?" Emily's eyes narrowed, and my laughter dried up instantly. "You should get that checked out at the hospital" I told her seriously, nodding at her arm. She shook her head.

"No, it's fine. I just want to go home."

"Well at least let me take you?" I asked. "You can't drive with your arm like that." Emily sighed dramatically, but I could tell that it was just for effect.

"Fine" she huffed. "But I want your hands where I can see them."

I quickly made sure that everyone else was okay, and my help was no longer needed. Then I checked that Effy was okay to get a ride home with Kieran.

"Okay Miss Fitch" I said, with a smile to Emily. "Hold on tight." She wrapped her hands around my neck, and I placed my arms around her waist. Making sure that I had her securely, I rose into the sky. In almost no time at all, we landed gently on the driveway at Robenna Mansion. I wished that the journey could have been longer - having Emily in my arms felt wonderful. I looked down at her, and realised that she was a little breathless.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned. She nodded, whilst taking in big gasps of air.

"Fine!" She said at last. "Absolutely fine."

"I'm sorry, you're not used to flying like that, I should have gone slower." I thought I had gone at a comfortable speed for passengers, but maybe I was wrong.

"No!" Said Emily quickly. "No it was fine, it was… lovely." She said the last word so softly that without my super-hearing, I doubt I would have caught it. I couldn't stop the smile that instantly spread across my face.

Our little moment was broken by the sound of feet running rapidly over gravel. As Mr and Mrs Fitch came nearer, Emily took a hasty step back from me.

"Emsy, are you okay?" Asked Rob, his voice laced with concern. Emily did her best to explain what had happened, while assuring them that she was okay. I watched them as their expressions turned from shock to anger, then back to concern.

"It seems we're in your debt once again, Ultra Woman" said Jenna in a small voice. I waved away their thanks. I didn't help out so that people would be in debt to me, I did it because I could.

"Just go back inside" Emily insisted to her parents. "I'll be there in a minute."

I was surprised to see Jenna comply with Emily's instructions. She grabbed Rob's arm and led him firmly into the house. As they walked away, they seemed agitated, and a snatch of their conversation drifted back to me:

"I specifically told him to do it on _Wednesday_ night!" Said Jenna, angrily. But I had no wish to think any further about them, because here I was alone with Emily again.

"Thanks" she said shyly. This was new - Emily had never once been coy in my presence. I found it adorable.

"I'm just glad no one got hurt" I told her, sincerely. She nodded. For a second she looked to be torn about what to do next, then she suddenly seemed resolved.

"I'd better go. Bye Ultra Woman."

"Bye." With a smile on my face, I rose back into the sky. I decided that I would take Emily's car home for her, then head back to my place for a good night's sleep. And just maybe, some pleasant dreams about a certain red-head.

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><p><strong>Sorry if you were thinking Naomi would be a little more moral over the whole 'magic kiss' thing. I just always thought it was daft at the end of Superman 2 where he gives Lois a kiss that makes her forget everything that happened. I mean, what kind of super-power is that? Anyway, that's where that idea sprang from.<strong>

**I'm off to Orlando for a fortnight from tomorrow, so I won't be updating for a while. Also, I'm not sure when (or if) I'll be doing review replies - or even when I'll get a chance to read them. But rest assured, I love every single review! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, I had a lovely holiday in Orlando. The Harry Potter ride 'The Forbidden Journey' at Universal is AMAZING! It's the best ride I've ever been on.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews. Since it's been so long since they were written, I thought you would prefer another chapter, rather than individual replies.**

**There's a couple of superhero references in this chapter. The one towards the end is more obvious, but there will be a big shout out to anyone who gets the little reference near the beginning. Though I think I may be showing my age a little, with that one!**

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><p><span>Chapter Five<span>

"So meeting Emily as yourself didn't exactly work out then?" Asked mum, gently.

"That's an understatement" I muttered. Mum slowly shook her head.

"Oh dear. Did you turn into Hugh Grant again?" I nodded, and let my head slump onto the kitchen table in front of me. I had indeed turned into a pathetic, stuttering fool around Emily, but that was only part of the problem.

"She thinks I just pissed off home, when the fire started" I said. Kieran cleared his throat – something he did whenever he had any particularly useless drivel to share.

"Well it seems quite simple to me" he stated firmly. "When she asked where Naomi was, you should have said: 'I'll just get her,' then gone back into the building and changed into Naomi. Then if she asked where Ultra Woman was, you could have said: 'I'll just see where she's at,' gone back inside and changed back into your super suit. Then if she asked…"

Seeing that Kieran looked set to continue his little ramble ad infinitum, I felt it necessary to step in.

"Yeah, I think I get it!" I snapped, raising my head from its resting place. Kieran was beaming, and looked thoroughly pleased with his own suggestion. "Kieran, this isn't a fucking episode of Frasier! This is my actual life!" I let my shoulders slump. "Or lack thereof" I added in a glum tone.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad" said mum briskly, as she tidied away our dinner plates.

"It was worse" I grumbled, rising to my feet. I wasn't in need of gentle reassurances, I needed someone to help me form a plan. In other words, I needed Effy. "I'm going next door."

Soon I was stood in the Stonem's kitchen. Here, there were also traces of a recently eaten meal - foil take-away cartons bulged out of the bin. It amazed me that the family were all so slim. Anthea was not a one for cooking, and they regularly ate food that had been ordered in.

Effy was sat on the kitchen bench, kicking her heels back against a cupboard. The kitchen table was completely covered in papers. I recognised it as the latest batch of my fan-mail. Anthea was sat at the table, working her way through the pile. A pair of glasses were perched on the end of her nose, and a fag dangled precariously between her lips.

"Anything of interest?" I asked. It had really surprised me when Anthea had first volunteered to be in charge of my fan-mail, but she had taken to the job with gusto. I was really pleased – it was one less thing for me to do, and I knew that it was being dealt with. Nobody has any idea how to contact Ultra Woman – no-one even knows that I have a secret identity – but that doesn't stop people writing to me. Any letters that are addressed to Ultra Woman get collected together at Bristol's main Post Office. Every month or so, I fly down there as Ultra Woman to collect it, and bring it back to Anthea.

"No marriage proposals this time" she said sadly, plucking the cigarette from her mouth. "But Hello magazine want to do an 'at home with Ultra Woman' piece." She handed the typed request to me. I brushed some stray fag-ash from the page, and stared at it in disbelief.

"Do they seriously expect me to tell them where I live?" I asked. "Sure, come round! Bring a camera crew, you'll find me at 29 Acacia Road!" Anthea shrugged.

"Well, it'd be more interesting than reading about the _other_ Naomi Campbell. She calls herself a _super_ model? She can't even fly." Anthea tutted disparagingly.

Tony ambled into the room and headed straight for the fridge. He opened it and rummaged inside. He brought out two bottles of water and threw one at me, which I deftly caught. Every so often, Tony likes to test my reflexes by throwing stuff at me unexpectedly and seeing if I can catch it. So far, I've never missed.

"Tell them to go pester Simon Cowell, instead" said Tony to his mother as he opened his water. I frowned.

"Is that the bloke from the second world war?" I asked, not quite sure that I had my facts straight. Effy shook her head.

"No, you're getting him mixed up with Hitler again."

"Well it's easily done" said Anthea, dryly.

I shook my head sadly. I hated how many gaps there were in my knowledge base, thanks to being home-schooled. Mum had taught history to me when I was a child, but she preferred to stick to people that she actually admired. Rosa Parks. Nelson Mandela. Lulu. Hitler had been mentioned, but not in detail. She always just referred to him as 'that evil cunt'. Since she also referred to Simon Cowell the same way, I frequently got them mixed up.

"You can see the similarities" mused Anthea aloud. "Cowell's always collecting young, good looking boys. He gets them all to dress alike, move to the same steps, and do whatever he tells them to." Effy chuckled.

"So you're saying that the Hitler Youth was the world's first boy band?"

"No, I'm saying that Simon Cowell should be lying dead in a ditch somewhere" answered Anthea, stubbing out her fag and reaching for a fresh one.

"What am I going to do about Emily?" I asked suddenly, hoping to get the conversation back to my reason for being there.

"Thought you said she was warming to you as Ultra Woman?" Asked Effy. I shrugged. I wasn't sure what that girl was really thinking. "Go see her."

I could hardly argue with the logic of that. Emily did hurt herself in the fire – I suppose I could go over there to check that she was okay. I had somewhere else to call first, but I would make a stop-off on my way home.

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><p>A little later, I was dressed as Ultra Woman and standing outside the fire-damaged soup kitchen. As I had hoped, Thomas was there, surveying the damage. The fire crew had not yet released the building as safe to enter, so Thomas was only able to peer in through the blackened window frames. He greeted me with a sad smile as he saw me.<p>

"Hi Ultra Woman. I'm afraid I didn't get a chance to thank you yesterday, for saving Panda's life." I waved away his words with a flick of my wrist.

"Is she okay?" Thomas nodded.

"Yes, thanks to you she's fine. A little… chattier than normal, but otherwise okay."

I had only met Panda briefly, but I found it hard to imagine her any more talkative than she already was.

"I'm just glad no-one got hurt" I told Thomas. I scrutinised the building, noticing that the whole of the entrance way was just a burnt-out shell. "What have they told you about the fire?" I asked.

"It was deliberate" growled Thomas, his anger evident, despite his outward appearance of calm. His words didn't surprise me. The fire had spread so rapidly, that the whole of the entrance-way must have been doused in petrol.

"Do the police have any leads?"

"No, they seem to think it was just a random act of arson." He sighed, and sank down onto the ground. "In a place like this, occasionally you get people who have real mental problems. The police believe that's all it was." Something in his voice told me that he wasn't convinced.

"But you don't agree?" I pressed. Thomas remained silent for a moment, as though contemplating what to tell me.

"I'm not sure" he said eventually. "But the smoke detectors had no batteries in them. I was _sure_ that they did. You see, I test the alarm every few weeks, and I'm sure I did so recently."

This new information worried me. Random arson was bad enough, but this was something altogether different. Removing batteries without being seen would take time, and quite a bit of nerve. It also showed a real intent to the perpetrator's actions. Had our fire-starter been trying to kill people?

"Who was here yesterday?" I asked. "Was anyone acting strangely?" Thomas chuckled.

"It's impossible to know who was here. People don't exactly book a table – anyone can walk right in." He frowned as he recollected something.

"We did have a couple of new volunteers here last night though" he said slowly. "And one of them was an extremely odd girl. She disappeared as soon as the fire-crew turned up." Well that's just fucking great, isn't it? I'm now a bloody arson suspect! Thomas shook his head gently. "But I'm sure neither of them was out of my sight for long enough to do this." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well if you think of anything else…" I let my sentence trail away into nothing. Thomas was right – absolutely anyone could have been here, and gone completely unnoticed. We just had to hope that the police and fire-crew's investigations turned up more information. "Bye Thomas."

As I soared into the air, I tried my hardest to think back over the previous evening. I had the vague feeling that there had been _something_ not quite right, but I had no idea what. It felt as if there was something that I should have paid more attention to at the time, but it was now lost from my memory like a barely recalled dream. If I hadn't been so preoccupied by Emily, maybe I could have remembered.

Speaking of Emily, as I approached Robenna mansion, I spotted the focus of my obsession standing on an upstairs balcony. I was relieved – with the exception of Katie, the rest of the Fitches seemed like a right strange bunch, so far. At least I could avoid running in to any of them. Emily looked the image of beautiful simplicity, dressed in a pretty summer dress. It was a mild August evening, and a light breeze caused her hair to tickle gently across her face. She leaned against the balcony's handrail, resting her chin against the palm of her hand. O that I were a glove upon that hand!

Oh yes, mum's home schooling _did_ include the classics of literature. She may be a barmy old hippy with only a slender grasp on important world events, but she did get some things right.

I watched Emily like that for a few moments. I hovered easily in the air at a little distance, unseen by anyone at the house. Then I began worrying that maybe I was getting a bit stalkery. Summoning up all my nerve, I swooped closer and landed on the balcony beside Emily. She took a startled step backwards at my arrival.

"Hey" she gasped. "I didn't expect… I didn't think…" Clearly flustered, she fell silent. She gripped firmly onto the handrail beside her.

"I just wanted to make sure that you're okay" I told her, eyeing her with concern.

"I'm fine" she said quickly, before seeming to regret her brusqueness. "I'm okay thanks" she added in a gentler tone. I smiled at her, but she didn't return it. God, this girl is the epitome of running hot and cold! Not sure if my presence was welcome or not, I found myself lapsing into silence in front of her.

"I met your friend Effy yesterday" said Emily suddenly. I arched a questioning eyebrow at her. "Yeah, she wouldn't shut up about you, actually" she added with a casual chuckle.

"_Effy_?" I found that hard to believe. Effy rarely strung more than two sentences together at a time. Emily nodded.

"Yeah. Is she the president of your fan-club or something?"

"No, her mother is" I answered plainly, choosing to ignore Emily's sarcasm. She narrowed her eyes at me, as though trying to decide if I was being serious or not. Then her glance darted away to look out across the grounds of the house instead.

"I met Naomi as well" she added softly. "Is she a friend of yours too?"

I decided it was probably best not to get myself in too deeply here – things could get very messy indeed.

"I don't know her as well as Effy. She seems a bit odd." Oh mouth, why have you betrayed me?

A frown darkened Emily's face.

"Well I liked her" she said in a surly tone. "At least she cares about things."

"Emily, what is your problem with me?" I asked sharply. Surprised, Emily whipped her face round to stare at me. "The rest of your family have been lovely to me…" Emily rolled her eyes at that, but I just continued. "…But you've never even given me a chance! Why is that?"

"Because it's all for show!" She snapped, anger suddenly rising within her. "You fly around with your pert bum, and your perfect hairdo, and…" Okay, I _have_ to stop her there. I raised my hand in a silencing gesture.

"You think my bum is pert?" I asked, unable to keep a smile from my lips. Emily sighed at the interruption.

"Sometimes when you fly, your cape flaps up and I…" A look of annoyance crossed her face at being caught out. "No!" She snapped. "I've never noticed, I…" She closed her eyes and tried to regain some of her composure. After a couple of breaths, she continued as if I hadn't interrupted. "You're just like my dad. Everything's just for show, you don't really care about anything." I was shocked. Of all the things I could be accused of, 'not caring' was the one thing that I didn't expect to hear.

"I do care!" I argued. "I care about all sorts of things! I do my best to help out the only way I know how." Emily snorted.

"By flying around in a blaze of publicity?"

"I don't want the publicity!" I insisted. "But whatever I do, people are always going to be interested in the girl who can fly." I took a step closer, willing her to see the sincerity in my eyes. "This isn't the real me, Emily" I said, gesturing at my costume. "I'm just an ordinary girl who can do extraordinary things."

"So who _is_ the real you?" She asked, the slightest flicker of a smile showing in those beautifully expressive brown eyes. 'The blithering idiot you met yesterday' was the first answer to spring to mind, but I kept it to myself.

"Give me a chance and I'll show you" I said softly. As Emily appeared to be wavering, I pressed on. "Let me show you what's underneath the costume."

Emily's eyes narrowed, and the dial on her body language rapidly switched to 'distinctly chilly'.

"Does that line normally work?" She asked, sharply. What? Oh, fuck-a-doodle-do! How do I manage to do this to myself?

"No! That's not what I… I meant _figuratively_!" I managed to stammer out. Fortunately, Emily seemed to recognise that she had taken my words the wrong way. The expression on her face softened somewhat. She watched me with an air of curiosity.

"Why do you put on this act of being all suave and smooth and in control?" She asked, with just the faintest hint of a smile. Hmm, I guess my self-confident mask has slipped slightly. Or perhaps more accurately, it has shattered to smithereens in Emily's presence.

"Because that's what everyone expects me to be" I answered truthfully. "What kind of a superhero hesitates, or lacks confidence?"

"That must be a lot of pressure" said Emily sadly. "Living up to other people's expectations."

"With great power, comes great responsibility" I answered with a shrug. I had never really questioned the pressure that came with the whole superhero gig. No one else can do what I do, so what choice do I really have?

As Emily sighed, I realised that there were other thoughts behind her words. I remembered that she didn't actually want to work for her father's company at all. Perhaps she had never been given the choice. I longed to ask her more about it, but I felt sure that she wouldn't want me to pry.

"It's getting late" said Emily, her attitude switching to a brisk aloofness. "You'd better go." She turned towards the patio doors leading back into the house. Not wanting to miss my opportunity, I caught hold of her hand. She turned back to face me, and I was sure that she was holding her breath.

"Goodnight Emily" I murmured as I took a step closer. I leaned down and pressed my lips gently to her cheek. Then I straightened up and took a couple of steps back. I turned around, and rose slowly up into the air (making sure that my cape flapped up as I did so, of course - just in case she was watching).

As I flew away, I could have sworn I caught a soft sigh from Emily, disappearing into the evening breeze.

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><p><strong>Not as long as I wanted it to be, but this seemed like a decent place to stop. Hopefully other chapters will be a bit longer.<strong>

**I know I've let 'You Make Loving Fun' slide for a while, but I'm hoping to get that one updated soon.**

**Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello again!**

**So, a BIG SHOUT OUT goes to nitaxnitro, Missmaraudeur, Moomin25 and lazyboo (though she admitted the use of google) for getting the '29 Acacia Road' reference. For those that didn't get it, and haven't read the reviews: the person who lives there is Eric - the schoolboy who leads an exciting double life. For when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation occurs. Eric... is... BANANAMAN! Ever alert for the call to action! Doo de doo... do de do do...**

**Er ahem. Sorry, got carried away a little there. **

**Okay, not as many laughs in this chapter, but plenty of plot. Hmm, not really. There's a smidgen of plot, but plenty of Naomily interaction. At least, plenty of Ultra Womily interaction, anyway. Is that even a thing?**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

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><p>Saturday found Effy and I back at the soup kitchen. The building had been declared structurally sound, and Thomas had arranged to go down there to start getting the place fit for use again. We were both keen to give him all the help that we could. Or rather, I was keen and Effy was reluctantly keeping me company. We got stuck into the task of cleaning up with gusto.<p>

A few of the other volunteers were there as well, including Emily. Hey, I know what you're thinking, but that was just a bonus. I really _did_ want to help get the place ship-shape again! Emily looked adorable, with her red hair tied back, and wearing an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Somehow a smudge of grime had got smeared across her cheek, but she seemed oblivious to it. My fingers just itched to reach up and brush it away, but I didn't dare. Instead, I kept shooting side-long glances at her, whenever she wasn't looking my way. Yeah, so much for not being too stalkery, right?

"I think we deserve a break" announced Thomas as he emerged from the kitchen with a full pot of coffee. We all downed tools and made general noises of agreement. We had been at work for a good couple of hours straight. Panda followed behind Thomas, carrying a tray of cream cakes for everyone. I smiled gratefully at the two of them. Thomas had been most profuse in his thanks to everyone that had come to help with the clean up. I knew that the cakes were his idea, and were just another way for him to express his gratitude. He was such a genuinely caring person, and his efforts to do good really touched me.

Soon, we were all sat around in a semi-circle, happily tucking in to cream cakes and coffee. An easy-going conversation flowed back and forth between us. Before long, the chat turned inevitably to the night of the fire.

"Thank God that girl with the cape was here" said Panda, through a mouthful of pastry. I cast a swift glance at Emily, to see what her reaction was at that mention of my alter-ego. She didn't show any apparent change of emotion, but then what had I expected? She was hardly likely to start doodling little hearts into the dust at her feet, was she? Panda continued in a thoughtful voice. "What did she say her name was? It began with a 'U', I remember that. Uterus Woman?"

I snorted with laughter, and barely managed to refrain from spitting my coffee everywhere. Thank God Tony wasn't around to hear that – he would start calling me that all the time for sure!

"_Ultra_ Woman" said Emily, barely suppressing a smirk. I caught her eye, and we exchanged a little chuckle with each other. Panda just shrugged.

"Well, she seemed really nice, anyway."

"She is" said Effy firmly. Emily suddenly seemed fascinated by her shoelaces.

Thomas offered round more cakes. Most people declined, but myself and Emily happily took a second one each.

"My dad would go mental if he saw me eating these" said Emily with a chuckle. "He used to run his own gym, and he's always been a fitness fanatic." She shook her head, then did an admirable impression of her father's scouse accent: "Emily, that cream's going straight to your bum my girl." Everyone laughed. I found myself laughing slightly longer than everyone else, and rather embarrassedly ground to a halt a moment later.

"Well, he was obviously right" I muttered, trying to hide my discomfort. Emily's eyes met mine, and held me with a slightly puzzled stare. Shit, did I just infer that she has a big bum? "Oh, no!" I garbled, trying desperately to back-track. "I meant his _advice_ was good, because you have a nice, small bum." Emily arched an eyebrow at me, a slight smirk showing on her face. Oh shit! I glanced desperately at Effy, willing her to come and save me, but she was just smirking too. Looks like I'm on my own. "Er, I mean I haven't _looked_, you know? I just… er, sometimes you see something without really meaning to look at it, and… and…" Okay, someone seems to have cut the cord that sends the message from my brain to my mouth, telling it to shut the fuck up. "I just thought that it was nice. I mean, bums are nice generally, aren't they? Not that I have a bum fettish or anything." As my jabbering finally ceased, the whole room lapsed into a deafening silence. Okay, I really shouldn't be allowed out of the house to mingle with other people. It always ends badly.

"So when's the glazer coming with the new windows?" Effy asked Thomas, shattering the silence. Everyone laughed at the blatant attempt to change the subject, before launching again into casual banter.

The radio had been on all morning, and just then a newsflash came on. There had been a traffic accident on the motorway, just outside of Bristol. I bit my lip as I listened, trying to glean if my help would be useful. According to the report, the accident had caused a really bad pile-up, with several people hurt. Shit. Here I was spending time with Emily, and I was going to have to make my excuses again. I glanced at Effy, knowing that she would have heard the announcement too.

"Did you run that errand that you'd promised your mum?" She asked, without missing a beat. I smiled gratefully at her.

"No, I forgot." I answered, rising to my feet.

"You'd better get going – the shop shuts early today."

I nodded, and quickly made my apologies to the assembled group. Thanks to Effy's practiced ease at spinning a yarn, nobody suspected a thing. I made my way outside, hid my outer clothes behind a nearby bush, and flew off.

* * *

><p>Sometime later I was slumped on the ground outside the soup kitchen, taking a few deep breaths. It had been a traumatic afternoon, and I needed to calm myself down before I could re-join the others and act as if nothing had happened. I heard a familiar husky voice off to one side.<p>

"Oh, I er… hi."

I blinked furiously and hastily wiped my face, embarrassed to be caught in such a vulnerable state. Emily frowned slightly at me, still standing at a little distance.

"Are you looking for Effy?" She asked. Well, that would be as good an explanation as any for why I – still dressed as Ultra Woman - was there. Except for the fact that I was sat down, rather than about to go inside. I nodded.

"Yeah but when I got here, I just decided I'd rather be alone for a few minutes."

"Oh." Emily hesitated, before turning to go back inside. Cursing my own rudeness, I called her back.

"Emily, wait." She paused in the doorway, and turned her head back to look at me. I saw realisation cross her face, as she finally took in my manner.

"Shit, is everything okay?" She asked, closing the distance between us. She lowered herself to the ground next to me, and placed a gentle hand on my upper arm. My super-suit was sleeveless, and the skin to skin contact filled me with warmth.

"Of course" I answered with a grin, trying to get my emotions under control. There were very few people who actually saw this side of me. The side that suffered because of all the things that I _couldn't_ do. The side that got slowly torn apart over all the times that I wasn't fast enough, or wasn't strong enough.

"We heard you mentioned on the radio" said Emily, slowly. "They said you were helping out at that pile-up." In the excitement of my own afternoon, I had almost forgotten that the others would still be carrying on as normal, listening to the radio while they kept on cleaning. I nodded.

"There was a woman that got hurt" I found myself sharing unexpectedly. "She got the worst of it, but all she cared about was that her grandchildren were okay. They were fine, hardly a scratch on them, but she…" I took a deep breath before I continued, making sure that my voice held no wobble. "I took her to the hospital. They're doing all they can, but they said they're not sure if she'll make it through the night." Unbidden by me, a stray tear slid down my cheek. I hastily wiped it away, hoping that Emily didn't see it. As she slid her arm around my shoulders and pulled me in towards her, I suspected that she had.

"You did all you could" she told me, soothingly. "The radio said that you were brilliant. They said the cars were on the brink of exploding and killing _everyone_ before you got there and cooled them down." I knew all of this already. I was very used to telling myself that I really _do_ make a difference. It was the only thing that made all the times that I couldn't help bearable. But I was still grateful to Emily for trying her best to comfort me. I had always known that there was a softer side to her in there somewhere, and now she was starting to show it to me.

"You're being nice to me" I said with a grin, hoping to get the conversation onto less melancholy lines. Death was unfortunately a part of my life – I couldn't let myself get too hung up on it, or I would go mad. Emily instantly withdrew her arm from my shoulders, and I felt the loss of the contact immediately.

"Sorry, I'll not make a habit of it" she answered with a sly smile.

"I like it" I told her, gazing into those beautiful eyes. She stared steadily back at me, a gentle smile turning the corners of her lips up. Feeling more self-confident as Ultra Woman, I reached my hand up to stroke away the smudge that was still present on her cheek. Emily's eyes closed at the contact, and she leaned almost imperceptibly into my touch. Unable to resist, I traced my thumb slowly across her barely parted lips. When her eyes opened again, the darkness in them was unmistakeable. I longed to replace my thumb with my own lips, but before I moved closer, Emily seemed to come to her senses. She cleared her throat and frowned, breaking the moment completely. I withdrew my hand, and shuffled backwards, putting a little bit of space between us.

"So how's the restoration work going?" I asked. I was hoping to keep Emily out here with me for a little longer, despite her sudden awkwardness.

"There's still a bit to be done, but we're getting there" she answered, looking anywhere but at me.

We passed the next few minutes in easy but meaningless conversation. We talked about nothing much in particular, but at least it was pleasant. Then Emily suddenly remembered that she had been outside for some time.

"I'd better get back" she said, nodding in the direction of the building. "I only popped out for some fresh air. They'll be wondering where I've got to." She rose to her feet. Unable to think of any reason for her to stay, I also got up. "Shall I tell Effy you're here?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No, I think I'll just head off now." Emily nodded, and headed back towards the door. I hung about awkwardly, not really wanting to fly off like she expected me to, because I would only have to come straight back to change into my other clothes. Emily disappeared inside, so I moved towards the bush that hid my stuff. Just as I reached it, Emily re-emerged from the building. I instantly straightened up and tried to act natural. Well as natural as anyone can look, when they've just been discovered examining a bush.

Okay, that sounded _way_ less dirty in my head!

"It's a nice hedge" I mumbled, by way of explanation. Fortunately, Emily didn't seem aware of what I was doing, and didn't seem to hear my words. In fact, she seemed quite nervous.

"So, how would I contact you?" She asked suddenly, fidgeting slightly with the hem of her t-shirt. Her question caught me so much by surprise that I just stared blankly at her. She shrugged, trying to make a pretence of being casual. "You know, supposing I wanted to see you sometime."

Emily wants to see me sometime.

_Emily_, wants to see me sometime.

The worlds' biggest smile set up camp on my face, as I replayed that sentence again and again in my mind. Naturally the first question to spring to mind was 'what exactly would you like to see?' but I felt it best not to voice that thought just yet.

"Do I have to shine some really big light into the sky?" Asked Emily with a grin.

"Not unless you want Batman to show up."

She chuckled.

"Nah, he's not my type. But Catwoman maybe…"

"Ah, so that's my competition, is it?" I asked with a flirtatious smile. "Halle Berry in a cat-suit?"

"No way!" Said Emily, feigning shock. "Michelle Pfeiffer was a _much_ better Catwoman!" I simply grinned in answer. It felt wonderful to finally reach a decidedly more flirty level with Emily.

"I'll give you my number" I told her. Emily frowned suddenly.

"You have a phone?" She asked, genuinely surprised.

"I told you I'm just a regular girl" I answered with a shrug. Emily seemed a little embarrassed at her own reaction.

"Right, yeah. I just couldn't really picture you…" She glanced down at me, as though wondering where on earth I could hide even a small mobile phone about my person. This suit _really_ doesn't leave much to the imagination!

"I don't give my number out often" I said hastily. It was true: as Ultra Woman, I never gave out that number – I only gave it out as myself. It was bad enough being bombarded with mail whenever I went to the post office. I certainly didn't want anyone knowing they could reach Ultra Woman by phone. Well, anyone except Emily that is. As she took her phone out, I hesitated only briefly before reciting my number. It occurred to me that I could be making a mistake, but something in the way that she smiled as she keyed the digits into her phone put me at ease completely.

"I won't tell anyone I've got your number" she told me with a reassuring grin. With that, she turned and walked back into the building. "Bye, Ultra Woman" she said over her shoulder.

"Bye Emily."

Ha! I _knew_ the Ultra Woman charm would work on her sooner or later! Emily has taken my number, and surely intended to call me! It took all of my effort to wipe the huge smile from my face, and return to being Naomi again. I waited outside for a little while, not wanting to follow Emily straight in. Then, seeing that the coast was clear, I got dressed quickly. Some days, I have more costume changes than Cher. Once changed, I stepped back inside.

As I walked in, Emily looked up at me with a bright smile. I vaguely wondered if I was responsible for that smile. Not me as such, I mean the _other_ me. Ultra Woman that is. Are you still following all of this? Because I'm beginning to get a little lost!

"Did you get what you wanted for your mum?" Asked Emily. I nodded, before looking down at myself and realising that I was blatantly not carrying anything.

"It's very small" I said. Shit, what on earth would she think that my mum wanted so desperately that was microscopic? "I mean I took it home for her already" I added. "_And_ it's very small." I made a vague motion with my hands, indicating the size of a small package, before realising that nobody was really interested. Once again, I was running without being chased.

I walked over towards a very bemused looking Effy.

"How do you manage to tie yourself in so many knots?" She asked in a whisper. I shrugged.

"It's a gift." I glanced over my shoulder and saw that we weren't in danger of being overheard by anyone else. "I don't know what it is. I'm not like that when I'm in costume. You should have seen us outside just now."

"So that's where she went."

"Yeah, she came out before I changed back, and I didn't get flustered, or start jabbering, or anything. It was all catwoman, and shrubs, and…" Effy arched a sardonic eyebrow at me. "…Okay, so I'm not saying it was a _prime_ example of flirting, but I did okay."

* * *

><p>The remainder of the day passed by uneventfully. We made steady progress with the place, but there was still much to do. As we were preparing to leave, Emily asked Effy if she could have a word with her. My curiosity piqued, I couldn't help letting my attention follow them as they wandered a little away from me. It's not eavesdropping if they're still standing in my earshot, right?<p>

"It's about Ultra Woman" said Emily in a low voice. "She said not to mention it, but she was here earlier. I think she was looking for you. She was a bit upset about someone who got hurt in that accident earlier, but when I tried to comfort her, she changed the subject." I was touched that Emily cared enough about me to tell my best friend what had happened. Effy nodded sagely.

"Yeah, she does that. She's a stubborn cow sometimes."

I almost exclaimed aloud at that, before remembering that I wasn't supposed to be listening. I also wasn't supposed to be Ultra Woman. Never mind, I would give Effy a slap for it later. She had only said it because she knew I would be listening.

"She has a lot to deal with" continued Effy. "But she doesn't let people in to help her very easily. I'll call on her later, check that she's okay." Emily seemed satisfied with that, so they both moved back towards me.

"We're gonna go out to the cinema tonight if you fancy it?" Said Emily, indicating Thomas and Panda. Effy and I both agreed. Emily grinned happily, before moving off to talk to Thomas.

"You're playing a dangerous game" hissed Effy.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The more time you _both_ spend with her, the more likely it is that something will go wrong."

"It's all under control" I told her, with a casual gesture of my hand. "I know what I'm doing. Seriously, how could anything go wrong?"

She didn't have chance to answer, because Emily was walking back towards us.

"We're not sure what time we're meeting yet" she said. "Why don't you give me your numbers, and I'll text you later."

"Yeah, it's… oh." I fell silent, as I realised that Emily already _had_ my number.

Fuck.

* * *

><p><strong>So when Naomi was talking about examining the bush, all I could hear in my head was Lina Lamont saying: 'But I can't make love to a <em>BUSH!<em>'**

**Please let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Seriously, the reaction to this story so far has overwhelmed me! You guys are really inspiring me to keep writing this slightly insane tale.**

**I gather that some people are struggling with the fact that Emily doesn't realise that Naomi and Ultra Woman are the same person. I would just like to point out the following: Naomi can fly. She is from another planet, and she goes around in pink spandex. _Pink_, for God sakes! This story is not grounded in reality. If that one fact really bothers you, then I should warn you that it's going to get even more 'I-can't-believe-she-doesn't-get-it-y' (What? It's a word!) before the truth comes out. That's just the way it works in super-hero stories.**

* * *

><p>"So tell me again why Emily has my number?" Asked my mother. "Does she fancy <em>me<em>?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"No, of course not! How could she fancy you? She's never met you!" I sighed, and tried desperately to keep my patience in check. I had already been through this once already with my mother, but since she received a text from Emily, her confusion had begun again. "It's perfectly simple: I couldn't give her _my_ number, because she thinks my number is Ultra Woman's number. So I gave her _your_ number, but she thinks it's really _my_ number. Okay?" Mum nodded slowly.

"Right. So if Emily calls, then I pretend to be you."

"No!" I growled with frustration. "You don't have to pretend anything, just come and get me, okay?" Mum grinned at me.

"Okay, but I _am_ pretending that my phone is your phone though, right?" I rubbed at my temples, and gave her a curt nod. "And _you__'__re_ pretending that your phone is Ultra Woman's phone. Well, except that it kind of is, because you _are_ Ultra Woman, right?" I inclined my head in answer. As I caught sight of a slight twinkling in mum's eyes, I began to wonder if she was really struggling with this, or if she was being deliberately obtuse just to wind me up. "Right, okay. I get it now." At last! Thankful that she seemed to understand, I turned to walk away. "So… which one of us is pretending to be Emily?"

Fortunately the doorbell rang at that moment, so I was saved from having to answer.

"That'll be Emily now" I muttered to mum. "Please try and pretend to be normal. For my sake?" Mum gave me a beaming smile.

"I don't know what you mean, love."

I shook my head, shoved my glasses firmly on my face, and went to answer the door. I opened it to find Emily grinning at me from the doorstep. She was wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, and looked as beautiful as ever.

"Right on time" I said as I opened the door wide enough to admit her entrance. Emily had offered to give Effy and I a lift to the cinema, which we had gladly accepted. Even though really, I'm never in need of a lift anywhere.

As Emily stepped inside, I took the opportunity to admire the way her jeans clung to the curve of her arse. Tight fitting jeans – what a wonderful invention! I longed to wear clothes that showed off my figure like that, but since I'm usually wearing my super-suit underneath, I often have to wear clothes with a much looser fit.

I was staring so much, that it took me a moment to realise that Katie was also with Emily. She was less casually dressed than her sister. In fact, she seemed quite over-dressed for the cinema, in very high heels, a short skirt and a tight blouse. I cast my mind back, trying to remember if I had met her as myself yet.

"This is my sister, Katie" said Emily, answering my thoughts for me. As Katie followed her sister into the house, I gave her a friendly grin. She met it with one of her own, but as her gaze locked with mine, she seemed to hesitate. Almost imperceptibly, she raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. "Katie, this is Naomi." Katie cast a questioning glance to her sister, before returning her gaze back to me.

"Right" she said softly, her smile growing slightly wider. "Right, Naomi. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too. Come through" I said, addressing both of them. I led them both through to the sitting room, where everyone was assembled.

"Ah, it's the wee leprechaun from the homeless shelter" said Kieran, as Emily followed me in. Shit, must he always do this to me? "Two of them!" He exclaimed, as Katie also joined us. "Oh, they're so tiny! You could use them as bookends, couldn't you?"

"Everyone, this is Emily and Katie" I said firmly, hoping that Kieran would take a hint and shut the fuck up. I quickly introduced the twins to everyone that was present. "Emily, you've already met Kieran and Effy, this is Effy's mum Anthea, and this…" I gestured at my mum. "…is just some insane old woman who lives here."

"Hey!" Argued mum. "I'm not old" she added with a grin. "Call me Gina. I'm actually Naomi's mum." she informed the twins.

"I can see the resemblance" said Emily, looking between mum and myself. Mum and I shared a smile. It always amused us how many people said that, even though we weren't biologically related. Still, our similar looks helped to conceal the deception. When mum and my 'dad' Alan had returned from India with me as a baby, they pretended to everyone that I was their child. They said that mum had been pregnant but they hadn't even realised until she went into labour. Once back home, they had registered my birth with the local council, putting both of their names as my parents. Then in case anyone was still suspicious, they had moved to a new city and dropped all contact with their old life. Mum and I had lived in the same house in Bristol ever since.

* * *

><p>A little later, we had reached the cinema and agreed what film we were going to see. Panda and Thomas went to queue for the tickets, while Effy and I went to buy popcorn for everyone. We had all agreed to go see Captain America, as Panda really wanted to see it. Personally, I wasn't that keen on super hero movies, but I hadn't voiced any objections.<p>

"Please don't sit through the film pointing out all of the inaccuracies" muttered Effy to me, once we were out of earshot from the others. I assured her that I wouldn't.

Feeling my phone vibrate, I hastily pulled it out and checked the display.

"It's Emily" I said with a frown. "Why's she texting me, she's only over there."

"She's texting Ultra Woman" said Effy with a sigh.

"Oh yeah." Oops! And there was me berating mum for not grasping the finer details of my little subterfuge. I quickly scanned the message.

**Hi**

**Just checking that you are ok after this afternoon?**

**Emily**

**X**

I grinned happily to myself, and showed the message to Effy.

"She's put a kiss there, do you think that means anything?" Effy just rolled her eyes at me. "What should I type back?"

"Are you gonna be like this all night?" Asked Effy. Ignoring her, I carefully typed out a reply to Emily.

**I'm fine, thanks for asking.**

**It was great to see you today!**

**Love Ultra Woman**

Then I deleted the last line. She would know anyway that the text was from Ultra Woman, because I gave her my number. Then I debated if I should still sign my name at the end, just to be polite. After all, she had done so. I typed the line out again. But then I remembered that Emily had probably only signed her name because she didn't know that I had her number already – she had only given it to me as Naomi, not Ultra Woman. I deleted the last line again. Besides, did I really want to go with the word 'love'? But on second thoughts, I didn't want my message to be devoid of _any_ affection, did I? I should leave something as a sign off. I typed out an alternative final line.

**UW. XX**

But then I wondered if I was going too far by putting two kisses, when Emily had only put one.

"Oh for fucks sake!" Snapped Effy, snatching my phone out of my hand. She barely glanced at the screen, before hitting the send button.

"Hey!" I was all set to have a go at her, before I heard the beep of a message received from Emily's direction. I couldn't resist watching her as she read the message. I held my breath as she fumbled her phone out of her pocket. A small smile spread across her lips as she read it. Then her fingers darted quickly over the buttons. When my phone vibrated again, I brought the message up straight away.

**What are you up to tonight?**

I typed out my reply.

**Having a night off, hanging out with Effy**

Then I deleted it, shaking my head at my own stupidity. Emily was hanging out with Effy tonight, I could hardly claim that Ultra Woman was, too! I tried again at writing a reply.

**Nothing much, having a night off. **

**Can't wait to see you again**

I hit send, then quickly stowed my phone back in my pocket, as Emily and Katie came over to us. Effy had got served by this point, so we grabbed the popcorn and moved to meet the twins. Panda and Thomas were also making their way over. As we reached them, Emily was reading my latest message. Her smile was bigger this time, and I had to try really hard not to show my happiness at that on my face.

"Who are you texting with?" Asked Katie suspiciously. A very becoming blush covered Emily's cheeks.

"No one" she muttered, shoving her phone out of sight. Katie rolled her eyes at her sister.

"God, you're such a secretive cow sometimes!"

From somewhere behind us, a voice bellowed across the atrium.

"Katiekins! How are you, girl?" Katie and Emily rolled their eyes in unison as they turned to greet this new arrival. A sandy haired man was walking towards us, his gait oozing cockiness. Behind him followed two other young men, both apparently embarrassed at their friend's need to be so loud.

"Hey, loser" said Katie shortly. Her cold manner didn't sway the new arrival one bit. He slid an arm around her shoulders, and cast his glance around all of the women present.

"Aren't you gonna introduce us to your tasty friends, Katiekins?" He asked as he wiggled his eyebrows. Katie sighed, and slung his arm from her shoulder.

"Okay. Cook, this is everyone." She cast her arm round, indicating the group at large. "Everyone, this is Cook, a total prick." She pointed at his two friends one by one. "And these are his pathetic friends JJ and Freddie." Freddie and JJ looked disgruntled at Katie's rude introduction, but Cook was undaunted. He looked around at us all with a huge grin.

"So which of you ladies is going to be the lucky girl that gets to play with the Cookie Monster tonight, eh?"

"Cook, would you please fuck off?" Said Emily. "No-one's interested." At her words, Cook stepped closer to her.

"Ah, Emilio! Don't tell me that all these lovely ladies are muff monkeys too?"

"I'd rather be, than go with a _boy_ like you" said Effy, calmly.

"_Boy_?" Laughed Cook in disbelief. "Do you wanna measure my dick? It's nine inches of pure pleasure!" He grabbed at his crotch, and made a suggestive thrusting motion. Effy just shrugged, and turned away from Cook in a dismissive manner. But as she faced me, she frowned and nodded at me as though trying to ask a silent question. Unsure what she was getting at, I simply frowned back.

"What are you doing here Cook?" Asked Emily forcibly. "Did you follow us?" Cook laughed loudly.

"Nah babe, course not! Me, Gay J and Fredster are just having a night at the cinema!" If anything, Cook's voice had crept up in decibel level, as though he wanted as many people as possible to hear what he was saying. "We're going to be spending the whole evening here at the cinema, watching a film. Right here is exactly where we'll be."

"Cook!" Hissed Freddie, grabbing Cook's arm in warning. Cook just shrugged him off.

"So if you'll excuse us ladies, we're going to watch a film. Right here at this cinema, for the next couple of hours at least." With that, the three of them ambled away, leaving the rest of us slightly stunned in their wake.

"What charming friends you have" said Effy, dryly. Katie snorted with derision.

"They're not our friends! They work for our father, that's all."

Our film was about to start, so we all moved off in the direction of the right screen. As we did so, Effy hung back a little bit to talk to me without the others hearing.

"So?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I just looked blankly at her. Effy sighed. "Is it really nine?" She asked. Oh God, has she finally gone stark raving mad?

"What?" I asked.

"Is his cock really nine inches?" She asked. Finally, I realised what she was on about. And yes, I think she _has_ gone stark raving mad.

"How would I know!" I said in disgust. "I'm not going to x-ray that creep, just to see if he's telling the truth! Ew!" I physically shuddered at the thought of it. "Effy, it's taking all of my willpower to not x-ray Emily to find out where her tattoo is, and you think I would x-ray _him_? I _have_ mentioned the fact that I'm gay, right?" Effy chuckled.

"Okay, keep your cape on. I just thought you might have been curious."

I shook my head sadly at my friend. I know I'm not the best judge of men, but surely she didn't fancy that arrogant tosser!

"Let me say again" I told her firmly. "Me, not cock cruncher. Me muff muncher."

"Well there's no need to sound so fucking proud of that fact" came the amused voice of Katie from somewhere behind me. She must have come back looking for us, wondering where we had got to. I slowly turned around to face her, and realised that Emily was also stood with her, a half smile on her face. I instantly felt myself flush with embarrassment.

"I was er… Effy was just saying…" I garbled.

"Come on, the film will be starting" said Effy, strolling past me into the room.

* * *

><p>The rest of our evening passed by really pleasantly. I would have loved to have spent some time alone with Emily, but I was really enjoying the company of the others as well. Besides, this was more friends than I had ever had in my life before. After the film, we went to a nearby bar for a couple of drinks. We all talked and laughed like we were old friends. I even managed to be slightly less rambling for the evening. Well <em>mostly<em>, that is.

"So you two are volunteers at that soup kitchen as well?" Asked Katie, as she set drinks for everyone down on the table. Her question was aimed at Effy and I. It was clear from the way she interacted with Thomas and Panda that she already knew the two of them.

"Yeah, you should come along as well" I told her. Katie wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"No chance! You won't catch me there." Emily sighed at her sister's reaction.

"Katie, you can't _catch_ homeless!"

"Yeah, but you don't even get paid for being there!" Added Katie, clearly missing the point of 'volunteering'.

"Not everyone is as fortunate as us" said Thomas. "I have been extremely lucky in my life, so I try my best to help other people."

"I'm all for charity work" insisted Katie. "But there are ways to do it without having to get dirty. Like organising charity fund-raising dinners. _Much_ more civilised."

"Those things are such a bore" I muttered. I had been to one or two of them as my alter-ego, and found them to be nauseating occasions. Basically, they were a chance for rich people to spend money for a good cause whilst having a posh night out. It allowed them to salve their consciences every once in a while.

"So you've been to a few have you?" Asked Panda. Damn, what should I say? Usually, only celebrities and wealthy people attended such functions.

"No, I er... I haven't. But I've read about them. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I went to one once, so yes. An ex girlfriend took me to one, so I have been to one, but it was a while ago. I can't remember what it was for…" A swift kick connected with my ankle from under the table. Clearly that was Effy's way of letting me know to shut up. I closed my mouth and shot her a grateful smile.

* * *

><p>All too soon the evening was over, and Emily and Katie were dropping us off at home. Effy and I went our separate ways into our own homes. After saying goodnight to mum, Kieran, and Anthea – who looked set to remain on our sofa drinking wine for the rest of the night – I headed up to my room. I lay down on my bed, and found myself calculating how long it might take the twins to get home from my house. I wondered if Emily might text me again once she got back.<p>

After lying listlessly for several minutes, I decided to go out. My head was so full of Emily, it would probably do me good to get some fresh air, instead of sitting waiting for my phone to beep. I changed swiftly into my super suit, opened my bedroom window and flew out into the night. I flew as fast as I could, with every intention of just escaping the city for a while.

Before I got very far, something captured my attention. I slowed right down to a hover, to investigate what had caught my eye. It was a fire, and from the looks of it, it was burning ferociously. What was it about fires in this city at the moment? I moved nearer, wanting to discover which building was on fire. I landed in front of the blazing factory, and knew that I had been there before. It was the factory that had been on fire the first night that I had met the Fitch twins. This time, the fire had really taken hold, and was raging through the whole building. It seemed that our arsonist was getting better.

Seeing that a fire crew were already tackling the blaze, I moved over to have a word with them. As I walked, a slight change in the shadows drew my eye to my left. I peered into the darkness, and saw someone quickly slinking out of sight. He was gone the next instant, but I saw enough to know that I had definitely seen that cocky face before, and very recently.

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><p><strong>Ha! I knew we'd find an actual storyline in there sooner or later!<strong>

**Let me know what you think! I'm currently feeling very stuffed up with a heavy cold, so I'm sure all reviews will cheer me up!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A warning to everyone on FFN: Two weeks ago, I was chatting to rosswellmorgana in Australia through FFN, and she told me that she was ill with a cold. Last week, I was ill with flu here in England. Then I got chatting to Miss maraudeur who is in Canada. This week, she is ill with flu. Be very careful people: clearly there is a computer virus going around on FFN.**

**Now as I have mentioned to one or two people, I'm really not planning on there being much angst in this story. Therefore I think you will forgive me for the quite miraculous recovery made by the un-named grannie, who was at death's door in chapter 6. She's made of tough stuff, that old biddy. Perhaps she's a super-gran.**

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><p>The next morning, I made my way back down to the soup kitchen to continue helping with the clean-up. I was by myself, as Effy claimed that she had already made plans with Tony. I suspected that she was really just bored. I didn't mind too much - I was hoping to have a chance to speak to Emily one on one.<p>

Apart from anything else, I wanted to ask her some more about Cook. His presence at the fire last night was no proof of his involvement, but it just seemed very suspicious. I had spent most of the night wondering about it, and had reached the conclusion that something just wasn't right. When I thought back, I realised that Cook had been rather firm with his insistence that he would be at the cinema for a while. It smacked of trying to establish an alibi, albeit in a very ham-fisted way. Especially given the fact that Emily and Katie - two people able to identify him - were spending the evening at the same cinema.

I wasn't quite sure why I hadn't shared my suspicions with Effy yet. I guess I was worried that she might jump to the conclusion that the twins were somehow involved. I felt sure that they weren't, but Effy often sees things differently to me. I just wanted to have more information, before we began putting two and two together. Besides, everyone who has _ever_ seen a spy thriller knows that going to the cinema is a pretty crap alibi. It would be so easy to sneak out of a film part way through. Surely this guy Cook couldn't be stupid enough to think that it would prove his whereabouts!

Could he?

I went first to the hospital, and was pleased to discover that the woman who I had taken there after the car crash had actually survived the night. She was still a long way from well, but at least the doctors seemed more hopeful of her recovery. I walked into the soup kitchen with a smile on my face, and a spring in my step. I quickly discovered that my mood was greatly at odds with everyone else's. A sea of gloomy faces greeted me as I walked in. The volunteers were stood around in a circle, shifting about uncertainly.

"What's up?" I asked with a frown. Thomas moved over to me. He looked to be struggling to contain his emotions.

"Naomi. Thank you for coming to help, but I'm afraid it won't be necessary any more."

"What?" I glanced around at everyone else, as though expecting some kind of a joke. Although his whole demeanour showed that it wasn't a laughing matter.

"The council won't allow us to re-open the centre. They said that it would take too much work to get the place fit for purpose again. They're selling the building instead."

"That's ridiculous!" I snapped. "Too much work? That's nonsense." Thomas nodded slowly.

"I know. I've told them that, but they won't listen. I was on the phone to them for an hour this morning trying to persuade them, but they kept saying that it's not cost effective."

"Cost effective? That's a load of bureaucratic, red-tape bullshit!" I felt anger rising like bile within me. How could the council do that? Didn't they understand what a vital service this place provided to the community? "Are they going to provide another venue?" I asked. Thomas shrugged his shoulders with an air of defeat.

"I don't know. They fobbed me off to another department, but it's closed over the weekend."

"We can't just let them do this!" I insisted.

"Naomi, everyone's upset about it" said Emily. "We're going to fight this, but we're not sure how."

"Let's get someone famous to talk to them" suggested Panda. Even she was clearly affected by the news, and wasn't her normal ebullient self. "Maybe that girl with the cape. What's her name? Utterly Butterly?" God, she will probably never remember my name!

"Yeah, that might work" said Emily with a sigh, ignoring Panda's mistake. "But we can't really do much until Thomas has spoken to the council again." That seemed to signal the end of the discussion, and soon everyone started to drift away in different directions. Thomas promised to contact everyone when he had more information.

Still hoping to talk to Emily, I followed her out into the car park.

"So what are you doing today?" I asked her. She gave a half-hearted shrug.

"Not sure. I don't feel like heading home straight away. Do you want to go for a coffee somewhere?" I had been just about to ask her something similar, so her request caught me by surprise.

"Er, yeah definitely. Where to?"

Emily glanced quickly around us.

"There's a decent place not far from here. We may as well walk." She set off away from her car, and I quickly fell into step alongside her.

We weren't far from the factory that burned down last night, and Emily went to go along that same street.

"That road's closed" I told her. The fire crew had been concerned about the structural damage caused to the factory, and had closed off the whole street. "A factory burned down last night. I saw it on the news this morning" I added hastily.

"_Another_ fire?" said Emily, an angry scowl crossing her face. "This city is going to shit, lately."

We walked the rest of the way in silence as we cast our steps along a different route. Soon we reached a pleasant-looking cafe, and Emily led the way inside. We ordered a coffee each, and sat down at a corner table. The air felt stilted, both of us still dwelling on the disappointment of what had happened.

When our drinks were placed down in front of us, it seemed to bring us both out of our internal thoughts. Emily smiled warmly at me, before taking a sip.

"Last night was fun" I said. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between us that we wouldn't talk about the soup kitchen at all. "We should do it again sometime. You know, we should… hang out together, maybe. If you like." God, I hope that wasn't as lame out loud as it sounded in my head!

"Yeah." Emily nodded, giving me a bright smile. Then she seemed to hesitate. "But, just as friends, yeah?" Her eyes dropped suddenly to stare at the mug in front of her. Hmm, I guess she's picked up on the fact that I'm attracted to her. Okay, turning into a babbling mess whenever I'm around her, and practically begging her to believe that I'm gay when we first met would be two _slight_ clues.

"Of course" I answered, but I was feeling pretty unhappy about it. I wanted so much more than friendship with Emily, but at least it was better than nothing. I felt the need to save face in front of her, and hide my disappointment. "That's just what I was going to say" I said, nodding far more than necessary. "Friends is great. Friends is _really_ great. I'll be there for you. Like, when the rain starts to pour, and all of that stuff. Friends are…"

"It's not that I don't like you" said Emily quickly, cutting my sentence off mid-flow. I felt relieved - I was seconds away from doing the hand-claps. "I'm just not…" she swallowed, and fell silent.

"You're not wanting to date anyone?" I suggested, trying to ease the tension. Emily bit her lip anxiously, and I could see that that wasn't it at all – she just didn't want to date _me_. I felt like my heart was sliding rapidly into my shoes.

"There's kind of somebody that I…" she began hesitantly, before taking a breath and re-starting her sentence. "It's not like we've even been out or anything, but there is _someone_…"

A tiny flame of hope sparked up inside me. Is Emily talking about Ultra Woman? I just had to be sure.

"Let me guess" I said, giving Emily a wry smile. I made a swooping motion with my hand to indicate something that could fly.

"How did you…" she began, before falling silent and blushing bright red. I bit my lip to stop a huge smile from taking over my whole face. This isn't my imagination – Emily really likes me! "I guess it's pretty obvious that I like her" muttered Emily. Well no actually, since you mention it. I've got to admit, I was feeling pretty confused. Since my first meeting with her, Emily had actually seemed to _dislike_ Ultra Woman, and now this? Still, I was delighted by this new development, and didn't want to question it too much. Emily Fitch wants to date me! Okay not me, but Ultra Woman. Who is still me, really. It's just that Emily doesn't know that fact. God, since when did I need a map and a compass to find my way through my own life?

Emily leaned across the table and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial level. "You've _got_ to admit that she's sexy" she giggled.

"She's er…" What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? Fortunately, Emily didn't seem to be waiting for a response.

"She's absolutely gorgeous! And the way that suit clings to her… oh my God. Come on – you _would_, wouldn't you?" I stared uncertainly at Emily, as I thought about her question. Well if you think about it, I already _have, _really_. _And in recent weeks, a little bit too often for my liking, if you get my meaning. God I need a girlfriend!

Emily raised her eyebrows at me questioningly. I could feel myself getting warmer and warmer as she looked at me, expecting me to agree with her.

"I er, I _would_?" I asked, hoping to stall from giving an actual answer. Emily let a dreamy sigh escape. Oh wow, am I really responsible for _that_? "So what's the problem? If you like her that much…" Emily's face darkened slightly.

"She's from a different _world_. Literally!" She sighed, and let her shoulders sag a little. "And besides, she _so_ out of my league."

"What!" My surprise at such a ridiculous statement couldn't be contained. "Emily, have you looked in a mirror recently?" She opened her mouth to say something, but I wanted to make my point clear, so I carried on. "Why would you think she's out of your league? Just because she's got super powers, doesn't make her _better_ than other people!" I took a breath, before adding: "And I think she would be the first person to say that!" Yep, I was pretty confident with that last part. In fact, I would bet money on it.

"I guess." Emily shrugged, and stared down into her coffee. "But she's had so many girls."

I had just raised my coffee to my lips, and almost choked at her words.

"What makes you think that?" I asked, wiping coffee from my mouth. Don't get me wrong: I've dated. Since becoming Ultra Woman, I've had girls throwing themselves at me, and I've dipped my toes into those waters more than once. But I would never describe myself as having had 'so many' girls. I haven't even reached double figures! And before you say it, I'm _not_ referring to a threesome.

Emily looked up at me with a knowing smile.

"Come on, you must have read the papers!"

That _Bloody_ Sophia! I might have known. How many times was I going to regret ever laying eyes on that girl? I had gone out with her a couple of times, but she had never been my girlfriend. Yes I slept with her - only once - but what a catastrophic mistake _that_ turned out to be. I told her shortly afterwards that I didn't want to see her anymore, but she just wouldn't accept it. She harassed me constantly, always turning up in places that she knew I would be. Every time she saw me with another girl, she accused me of cheating on her. Eventually, she seemed to take the hint and stopped following me. But then I discovered that she had sold her 'story' to the News Of The World. Sophia's lies about me were front page news, and four months later, I was still trying to live it down.

Sophia was the reason that I no longer gave girls my mobile number. She had called me constantly, and left me literally thousands of voicemail messages. Fortunately, The News Of The World had deleted most of them, but it had still been annoying. In the end, I had to change my number. Emily was the first girl since then that I had given it to.

"You can't believe everything you read in the papers" was the best defence I could manage. How could I possibly get her to understand the truth, when I – Naomi – was supposed to hardly know Ultra Woman? "Have they always told the truth about you?" I asked, remembering that Emily was quite the local celebrity, given who her father is.

"No, I guess not." She sighed. "There was a story in the local paper once about me getting engaged to the Mayor's son. As if! Though I suspected that mum might have had something to do with the story. I think she honestly believes that if she tells me I'm straight enough times, it'll stick sooner or later."

"You can't judge someone by what the papers say" I insisted, hoping to at least persuade her to give me a chance.

"She does seem different, when you meet her" said Emily, thoughtfully. "I _want_ to believe that she's not a player." She scrunched her eyes shut and shook her head gently. When she opened her eyes, she looked pleadingly at me. "Do you think I should go out with her?"

"Yes" I said firmly. I vaguely wondered if I should feel more morally torn by this whole situation, but hey, Emily had wanted my honest opinion, and that's exactly what I'd given her. "Yes, you definitely should give her a chance." So I'm probably going to Hell forever, but never mind. At least I _would_ be going to Hell, if I believed in any of that religious bullshit.

"I might" said Emily softly. Her face was calm, but a flicker of excitement danced in her eyes, and I knew that I was going to get that date.

I still wanted to ask her about Cook, so I tried to think of a casual way to bring him into the conversation.

"I enjoyed the film last night." Emily nodded her agreement. "It was good fun. Who were those guys that we met beforehand?" Oh yeah, effortlessly slipped in there. "I think Effy quite fancied that guy Cook" I added hastily. Emily rolled her eyes at the mention of his name.

"Tell her he's a total prick" she said firmly.

"Yeah, he seemed it to me, but I think Effy has a thing for 'bad-boys'." I placed air quotes around the phrase. Emily chuckled.

"Well he certainly gives that impression, but I don't know for certain of any trouble he's been in." Presumably no known history of arson then. "I doubt my dad would of hired him if he had a criminal record or anything."

"So he works for Fitch Corp?" I asked, hoping to sound casual rather than probing. Emily frowned slightly.

"I'm not sure. I don't think he's employed by the company, he's more of an odd-job man. He's never at the office, he always speaks to dad at the house. Him and the other two - Freddie and JJ." I longed to ask what kind of 'odd-jobs' they did, but I wasn't sure if I could keep it from sounding too curious.

"You asked Cook if he followed us there. Do you think he did?" I asked instead. Emily shrugged.

"I don't know, it just seemed like quite a coincidence, you know? It's the sort of thing he might do. He's always trying to get me or Katie into bed. Or both of us."

My questions didn't really provide me with anything more than I had known before. I asked a couple of other things, but Emily didn't seem to know anything that might help me.

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><p>Emily and I spent a pleasant couple of hours together, before she dropped me off at home. She promised that she would call me soon, which made me ecstatic. It also reminded me that I needed to check mum's phone. I had to make sure that she still had the generic recording for when her phone was switched off, and that she hadn't recorded her own message. My own phone was not a problem. I had never recorded my own message – things were simpler that way. I quickly found that mum hadn't recorded her own message. Hardly a surprise, considering that technology isn't really her thing. It took her two whole months just to work out how to answer the damn thing. I kept receiving text pictures of her ear whenever I rang her.<p>

I spent the afternoon sat on the sofa in the sitting room, staring at my phone. The more time I spent with Emily, the more I got to like her. And apparently, the more she got to like me too. _Both_ of me. I hadn't forgotten her saying that she might go out with Ultra Woman. Hence my sitting by myself, riveted to the screen of my mobile. I was trying to decide whether I should call her, or text her. Hell, maybe I should just go round there and ask her out in person. My thumb had been hovering over her number for the last twenty minutes, as I debated what to do.

"Fuck it Naomi, be brave" I told myself, and pressed the call button.

"Hi." Emily sounded happy to hear from me when she answered, which was a very good start.

"Hi. How are you?" I was grinning like an idiot into my phone.

"I'm good. You?"

"Yeah, fine. Yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" giggled Emily. Okay, this was going to be one of those really awkward conversations, where we repeatedly ask each other the same question over and over, unless I can summon up the bottle to get to the point.

"Wouldyouliketo havedinnerwithmetonight?" I blurted out, before I lost my nerve.

"What?"

I took a deep breath, and tried to channel my inner Ultra Woman charm.

"Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" There was a pause. A very long pause. Ice-ages came and went as I waited for Emily to speak. You know those pauses where you look at your phone to see if you've lost the connection? This was one such pause.

"Okay" said Emily at last. Who knew that two little syllables could cause so much happiness? "I mean, I'm at work tomorrow, so I can't be out late, but dinner would be nice."

"Great!" I tried to bring my extreme excitement down a notch or two. "Er, great. Do you like Italian? I know a lovely place."

"Italian is perfect."

"Right. I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Seven is fine." I could hear a note of hesitation in Emily's voice. Please don't change your mind, I begged silently. "Er, Ultra Woman?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind if I meet you outside the gate of the house? It's just if mum knew that I was seeing you tonight, I'd never hear the end of it."

I weighed up the pros and cons of Emily's request. Doing as she asked meant that I wouldn't get to see her family again before our date. As you can imagine, the weighing-up was a very quick process.

"That's fine, I'll meet you there."

"Okay. Katie's calling me, I'd better go. See you at seven." With that, Emily was gone.

Ha! I have a date with Emily tonight! I felt like I was soaring. Then as I bumped into the light fitting, I realised that I actually _was_ soaring. In my elation, I had floated up into the air without even realising. I carefully lowered myself back down to the sofa.

A few minutes later, mum popped her head round the door to the sitting room.

"My raspberry just beeped." I stared at her, wondering if that sentence was actually supposed to mean anything.

"What?"

"My raspberry just beeped." Yes, that's what I thought she said, but it still didn't make any sense. Then she waved her phone at me. "It says it's from Emily." With a sigh, I rose from the sofa and snatched mum's phone from her.

"It's called a… oh, never mind." I saw that there was indeed a text message from Emily, so I brought it up on screen.

**UW just asked me out, and I said yes!**

**Eek! :)**

I smiled to myself at the adorable cuteness of the message. I also couldn't help grinning at the idea that I had been the first person Emily wanted to tell that news to. Though I will admit it – there was also a tiny part of me wondering if things were about to get very complicated…

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><p><strong>Oh, I shouldn't think so. *snigger*<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**A quick update for you this time. There's a section of this chapter that, when I thought of it, just seemed funny, and I had to write it. Unfortunately, after three completely fresh attempts at writing, to get it just right, it no longer seems funny to me. Nevermind, let's just see what you make of it.**

**Of course you all remember the moment in episode 4.2 when Naomily opened that locker. But if you thought that was a shrine, then you're about to think again...**

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><p>I met Emily as arranged outside the gate to her house. She gave me a friendly grin as I landed beside her. I took in her appearance with an appraising glance. She was wearing skinny jeans again – my God, they really do suit her. This time they were paired with a simple vest-top, with a red cardigan over the top.<p>

"You look beautiful" I told her with a smile.

"Thanks. I spent the last hour deciding what to wear." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Emily blushed and looked like she wished she hadn't said it. Naturally, I found it adorable.

"Not really a problem for me" I told her. I was as ever, in my super-suit. Well think about it: I could hardly go out with her in my civvies, could I? Besides, I had insider knowledge that Emily likes the way my suit clings to me, so who was I to complain? "Are you ready to go?" I asked. Emily nodded and stepped closer. I slid my arms around her waist, and she placed her hands gently on my shoulders. "You'd better hold on tightly" I told her. She moved her arms further around my neck, pulling her body almost flush with mine. I'm telling you: when you have Emily Fitch as a passenger, flying is the only way to travel!

Soon, we arrived at the restaurant. It was a little place in the village of Limone. As I had requested, our table was out on the balcony, overlooking the serene sight of Lake Garda, bathed in early-evening sunlight. We sat down, ordered a bottle of wine, and were left alone with a couple of menus. Emily looked at our surroundings in amazement.

"When you said an Italian restaurant, I didn't realise you meant actually in Italy!"

I shrugged.

"Well, this place is great. Their fish courses are amazing, and they're all freshly caught in the lake." Our waiter returned with our wine, and poured us each a glass. Emily took a sip and looked thoughtfully out across the water. I longed to know what she was thinking. Eventually, she sated my curiosity.

"I bet you impress all the girls by bringing them to places like this" she said. If that's what was in her mind, then I was relieved that she had voiced it aloud. At least I had a chance straight away to answer some of Emily's concerns about me.

"No. Emily there haven't been that many girls, you know." Emily looked askance at me. "Seriously!" She smirked, and I could see that she didn't believe me. Okay, here goes. "You've been reading the stories in the papers about me, haven't you?" Emily looked uncertainly down at the table in front of her.

"Maybe." I sighed softly.

"There's been a lot of lies printed about me, Emily."

"So you didn't cheat on your girlfriend?" She asked sharply. Right, now we're getting to it.

"Sophia was never my girlfriend" I insisted. "I met her, we went out a couple of times, but she… she stalked me."

"She _stalked_ you?" Emily stared up at me in disbelief. Okay, I guess it's a bit difficult to stalk someone who can travel faster than a speeding bullet.

"Well, sort of" I corrected. "She made a point of hanging out at the places I used to go to. It wasn't a coincidence that we met, but I never realised until after."

"After what?" Fuck. That was the one question that I hoped to avoid. "After you slept with her?" Asked Emily, arching an eyebrow at me.

"Well, yes actually." I took a sip of my wine, as my mouth was feeling particularly dry. "We'd been out a couple of times, then one night we went back to her place." I could still remember every detail of my encounter with Sophia, but not for the right reasons.

Her house had been in darkness when we got back there. I knew that she still lived at home with her mum, so I didn't question the fact that she didn't put any lights on. We crept up to her room, and went about the deed in total darkness. I didn't complain – my super suit is very tight, and getting out of it can be quite ungainly. I was happy to do so unseen. After we had sex, we curled awkwardly around each other in her single bed and fell asleep.

Several hours later I woke with a start, as though something had disturbed my sleep. But the room was quiet, so I decided that I must have been mistaken. I blinked slowly as my eyes adjusted to the half-light coming in through the pink curtains. As I glanced around, I noticed that the whole room was pink. _Very_ pink. I sat up, and found myself facing a mirror on the opposite wall. At least I assumed it was a mirror, but as my eyes came into focus, I realised that my hair was way too neat for so early in the morning. It slowly dawned on me that I was in fact staring at a poster of myself, taken from an Ultra Woman fan magazine. And that poster was right next to another one, also of me. In shock, my eyes darted around the whole room. My image was beaming back at me from every conceivable surface. There were posters and collages covering every scrap of wall. The curtains had pictures of me dotted all over them. There were even little Ultra Woman action figures on the shelves and on the desk.

I looked down, and to my horror discovered that the bed was covered with an official, Ultra Woman duvet cover. I cast my eyes back to where I'd been laying, already knowing what to expect. Yep, there was my image, grinning back at me from the pillow. I had slept with my head resting against a picture of my own face. I had had sex beneath an Ultra Woman quilt. I felt dirty. And not in a good way.

But there was also someone else laying against that pillow, and her eyes were twinkling back at me. Sophia leaned closer and pressed a kiss to the small of my back. I froze as her lips made contact with my skin. I was completely naked and suddenly felt very uncomfortable in that state. I needed to get dressed – and quickly.

"Fancy round two?" Murmured Sophia, in what was probably supposed to be a sultry voice. She couldn't carry it off. She didn't seem embarrassed in the slightest by the appearance of her room. Did she think that I would be flattered to find myself in a shrine dedicated to me? Somehow, her unconcern was the most disturbing part.

"I er… I think I hear something" I muttered.

"Yeah, that'll be my insatiable lust for you" she purred, trying to slip an arm around my waist. No, I think it might be the men in white coats.

"I mean I think I hear a siren" I said, pushing back the covers and climbing out of bed and away from her grasp. I felt Sophia's eyes watching me hungrily as I stood. I tried my best to keep myself covered with my hands, without making it obvious. I hastily snatched up my super suit and struggled back into it, not caring that I was putting the top on back to front. "Where are my boots?" I asked desperately. Sophia pointed across her room.

"Over there. Next to my official, Ultra Woman sticker album." I snatched them up and perched on the end of the bed to slide them on. I kept as much distance as possible between me and the complete nutter that I had just spent the night with. "Do you really have to go?" She asked with a pout.

"Yes, I really, _really_ have to go" I insisted, as I hunted around for my cape. As I searched, my eyes fell on a knitted doll of Ultra Woman. For one insane second, I thought about asking Sophia for the pattern, because I knew that mum would love one of those. But then I realised what the doll was actually doing. It was with another doll – a one with black hair and wearing jean-shorts – and they had been placed very carefully into a 'sixty-nine' position. With a shudder, I abandoned my search for my cape – she could keep it, I had plenty more. I _had_ to get the fuck out of there.

Emily tried her best to contain her laughter, as I described Sophia's room to her.

So what did it feel like?" She asked. "Waking up in a room like that?"

"Well, it's certainly a sight that'll blow the early morning cobwebs away!"

"So what did you do?"

"Are you kidding me? I left! I was out of there quicker than you could say 'restraining order!'" Finally, Emily's laughter spilled out of her. The sound was infectious, and I chuckled as well. Having never seen the humour of the situation before, suddenly it just seemed impossible not to laugh about it. As our laughter dried up, I realised that the atmosphere felt altogether more comfortable between us. "You can laugh, but I was terrified at the time!" I told her. "I spent the next two months checking the bins every time I left the house, in case Sophia was hiding in them!" Emily giggled again. I was only slightly exaggerating. Sophia didn't know my address, but that didn't stop me from checking over my shoulder for her whenever I went out as Ultra Woman.

I had spent the last four months regretting that I ever met Sophia. I wouldn't care, but the sex itself hadn't even been worth it. Sophia had been very enthusiastic, but didn't really seem to know what she was doing. She had gone down on me, but didn't have any idea which bit she should be licking. Now, I know that I'm an alien, but I've been with enough girls to know that it's in the same place!

When Emily's laughter subsided, I tried to get things serious.

"Emily, I promise you I've never cheated on anyone. That's not me." Emily nodded slowly.

"Okay, I'll not judge you by what the papers say."

"I've not even been with that many girls, really" I continued. While I had Emily's ear, I wanted to put her mind at rest about all of the lies that had been told about me. "It's just difficult getting to know people when everyone already thinks they know who you are. I'm not looking to sleep around, I'm just wanting to…" I sighed, and stared down at the table cloth. "…I'm just wanting to fall in love. I want to know what it feels like." I couldn't raise my eyes back up to meet Emily's. I had just confessed something to her that I had never admitted to any other girl I'd been out with.

"You've never been in love?" She asked. Her tone was gentle, caring. I shook my head. Emily reached across the table and placed her hand over mine. "You said you wanted to show me the real you. That's who I want to get to know." I turned my hand over so that our palms were touching, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "And I know how it feels too" she continued. "Having people be interested in you just because of who you are." I raised my gaze up to meet her, and saw that she was looking at me with so much warmth.

"Well I would love to get to know the real you" I said sincerely. She gave me a glorious smile in answer, that made her eyes shine. I breathed a silent sigh of relief that we had been able to get that business with Sophia addressed.

* * *

><p>We spent a wonderful evening together, talking, laughing and watching the perfect sunset over the lake. Emily had said she didn't want to be out late, but the sun had been gone for some time before she mentioned about going home. I called for our bill.<p>

When it was set down I picked it up, but Emily reached for it too.

"I asked _you_ out. This is on me" I insisted.

"Let me pay" said Emily firmly. "Or at least pay towards it." Hmm, I guess Emily has a stubborn streak.

"Okay" I said with a grin. "How many euros do you have on you?" Emily rolled her eyes.

"So that was your plan? Take me to a foreign country for dinner so that I can't pay?"

I shrugged.

"Well, you've got to have an edge, when you're dating the daughter of a millionaire!" Emily chuckled.

"Right, I'll be carrying a variety of currencies on our dates from now on!" I just grinned at her. Emily had just given the clearest indication that she wanted to go on seeing me.

I took her hand as we left the restaurant. As we got outside, she slid her arms around my neck instantly. I held my breath, waiting for her to pull me closer for a kiss. Instead she just stared at me with a bemused expression.

"Aren't we going to fly home?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at me. Right, _that__'__s_ why she was so close. I breathed again and nodded, before rising us up into the air.

As we approached Robenna Mansion, I could see that there was no one about. I told Emily that, and asked if she wanted me to take her right to her balcony. She said yes. I landed us on it, and we took a small step apart. We stood in silence for a moment, just looking at each other. I felt reluctant to end our date just yet, and it seemed to me that Emily was feeling the same way. But eventually, she broke our staring contest to reach into her clutch bag for her keys. She turned to the patio doors leading to her room.

"Would you like to come in for a bit?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Thought you had an early start?" I wanted to clamp my hand over my mouth. Why the fuck did I bring that up? Emily gave a small smile.

"I'm head of the department. I can have a late start every now and then." I grinned at her. Clearly she didn't want me to leave just yet. I nodded, and Emily led the way into her room.

I took in my surroundings. It was a very spacious room, tastefully decorated in a modern style to match the rest of the house. But Emily had put her own stamp on the room in lots of little ways. There were several photos on the walls. Some were of Emily with friends or with Katie, some were of places around the world that she must have visited. The ornaments and decorations all seemed to be of Emily's choosing, and I knew it would be interesting one day to go through them and examine them all more closely. There was also a huge bookcase along one wall, crammed to overflowing with all manner of books.

"Are you making sure there's no Ultra Woman posters?" Asked Emily with a grin.

"No, but I'm glad there aren't any" I answered with a smile of my own. Emily laughed.

"When you went to the loo at the restaurant, I texted Katie to take them all down." I chuckled, before suddenly realising our close proximity. Emily seemed to notice it in the same instant, and appeared a little embarrassed by it. She took a little step back. "Would you like a drink?" She asked, trying hard to sound casual. "I mean, unless you had your limit at the restaurant. I don't know if you can drink and fly?"

"I'd love another drink. Alcohol doesn't affect me."

"Really?" Emily asked, surprised. "That must be a pain sometimes." I nodded. Many was the time that Anthea Tony and Effy were round at our house, drinking into the small hours with mum and Kieran. By the end of the night they were usually laughing at any puerile nonsense, and I alone was left wondering what was so funny.

After assuring Emily that I would drink whatever there was, she disappeared to go and find something. I looked around her room for somewhere to sit. My eyes first fell on the bed. It would be lovely to cuddle up on there, but I wasn't sure we were quite at that stage yet. Instead, I made my way over to a comfy looking sofa with a coffee table beside it. No sooner had I sat down, than Emily returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses. She poured it out, before joining me on the sofa.

A silence fell between us as we both sipped our wine. I wanted to strike up some easy-going banter, but everything I thought of just seemed lame. I found myself watching Emily as she drank her wine. My eyes landed inadvertently on her lips. Her incredibly kissable lips. Normally as Ultra Woman I wouldn't hesitate at moving in for a snog, but with Emily, somehow everything was different. She turned slightly, and caught me staring at her.

"What?" She asked, self-consciously. She wiped her lips, as though she thought there was something on them. I know what I wanted to be on them – _my_ lips. Unable to think of anything else to say, I accidentally blurted out the truth.

"I was just wondering if it would be okay to kiss you." Oh, fuck. Am I the world's biggest dork? As Emily shifted closer to me on the sofa, I looked up at her face. She had a tiny, nervous-looking smile on her lips, and her eyes were locked on my mouth. Okay, so I guess she didn't think that I was dorky.

"I want you to" she breathed. We moved towards each other simultaneously. I leaned closer, and pressed my lips softly against hers. My heart started beating at a hundred miles an hour. I wrapped one arm around her shoulders and slid my other hand up to cup her cheek, as our lips moved against each others in harmonious bliss. It was everything I had hoped, and so much more. I may have kissed a number of girls, but none that were so good at kissing as Emily Fitch. And then it got even better. I felt Emily's tongue pressing gently against my lips. The next instant, the kiss had deepened, and our tongues were exploring each other's mouths. Emily's hands wound their way around my waist and pulled me nearer.

After a few minutes, we broke apart, both of us gasping for breath slightly. We kept our bodies close though, resting our foreheads together.

"What do I call you?" Asked Emily with a frown. The question came so out of the blue that I didn't even take in what she had said straight away. "I mean, do I really have to keep calling you Ultra Woman?" Shit. I pulled back a little bit, and stared down at my lap. "What about other girls you've dated?"

"It's never come up" I answered with a shrug. No other girl had asked me that question before. Emily seemed perplexed.

"But what about… you know. In the height of passion…" she let her sentence trail away, before hastily adding "We're not doing that tonight though."

"No one's ever asked before." It suddenly occurred to me how strange it was that only Emily had thought to ask that question. Although on second thoughts, many of the girls I had met were just looking to date a super-hero. They probably didn't want me to have an ordinary, human name. I had never thought that I was deceiving them, but then none of them had also known my alter-ego. Inadvertently, I had got myself into a bit of a mess with Emily. She sensed my hesitation.

"Hey, it's okay. I don't mind calling you Ultra Woman, I just thought…"

"It's not that" I interrupted. I took a deep breath. "Emily, I really like you, but there are some things that I can't tell you about myself." Emily frowned, unclear of my meaning. I steeled myself to carry on. "I mean I _want_ to, but I have to be sure…" Emily took my hand with hers, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. It gave me the confidence to finish what I had to say. "There are some things that I have to keep secret. From everyone. It's for my safety, and for the safety of people close to me."

"So I just have to accept that I'll never know everything about you?" Asked Emily sadly. I shook my head.

"No. Listen, if things get serious between us, then I'll tell you _everything_. I promise." She stared into my eyes, as though she was looking to see how sincere I was.

"You promise?" She repeated. I nodded, not breaking eye-contact for a second.

"I promise. As long as you promise that you'll try to keep in mind why I couldn't tell you."

"Yeah, of course" she answered lightly. I could see that she didn't get what I was driving at, but then how could she, without knowing what I'm withholding? I just prayed that she wouldn't be too mad, once it all came out. "That's sorted then" said Emily with a nod. I saw a twinkle in her eyes, and wondered what it was for. I soon found out. "Now can we please have some more kissing?" There was no way in this universe or any other that I could say no to a request like that.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Comments? There's a little review button down there just waiting for a click.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**A couple of thank you's to get through. Firstly to reddawg82. A suggestion that she made led to the bit about texting that appears in this chapter. Secondly to rosswellmorgana for her excellent casting suggestion for the mayor. And finally to Miss maraudeur for suggesting a couple of possible names for a French restaurant when I asked her. I used one of the names, but I changed it slightly. My French is shit, but I hope it works...**

**A slightly longer chapter for you. I'm really hoping to get the plot properly kick-started in this story, so that might become the norm. But then again, it might not. We'll see.**

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><p>I was particularly busy on Monday. First up, I caught a mugger and took him to the police station. Next, I saved a couple of kids who chased a ball out into the street and almost got ran over. I even popped to London to thwart a bank robbery. Just another day in the life of your friendly, neighbourhood Ultra Woman. The one difference to how I usually work was that I did it all whilst grinning like a loon. My date with Emily had been brilliant, and I couldn't wait to go out with her again. My good mood seemed infectious to all those that I came in contact with. Well, except for the mugger and the bank robbers. And I guess the woman who had just been mugged wasn't too happy to see me grinning inanely at her, but nothing could dampen my happiness.<p>

On Tuesday evening I was lying on my bed when I heard the doorbell go. Curious, I peered out of my window to the street below. My ridiculous grin was back when I saw the familiar sight of Emily's red hair. I snatched up my glasses, and headed downstairs to let her in. She gave me a tired smile when I opened the door.

"Hey. I hope you don't mind me dropping in like this?" She asked.

"No, of course not."

I opened the door wide to let her in. As I closed the door behind her, I took in her appearance. She was dressed smartly, in a pencil skirt and a smart, white blouse. She had obviously come straight from work.

"How was work?" I asked.

"Boring" she answered with a shrug. She frowned, before adding "I just realised, I don't know what you do for a living?"

"I'm kind of between jobs, right now" I muttered vaguely. I hated lying to Emily, but what else could I say? 'Emily, I'm a full-time superhero. The hours are often unsociable, and the uniform is shit, but as my mum frequently points out, at least I get plenty of fresh air. Also, I don't actually get paid for saving people (despite Tony's suggestion that I start charging for my services), but I have a wonderful side-line in merchandise'. I'm sure that would go down really well.

I suggested that we go to my room, and Emily agreed. I led the way upstairs. As we walked into my room, Emily cast her eyes around with interest. I felt a little embarrassed – it wasn't anything like as nice as her room, and it was a bit messy. With a start of shock, I suddenly realised that I hadn't put away my freshly laundered costumes. I grabbed a towel from the floor and threw it over the offending items before Emily could see them. Then I snatched up the entire bundle, and tossed them unceremoniously into the wardrobe. As you might guess, I'm not really used to having company other than Effy in my room.

Emily sat down on the bed. There was nowhere else in my room to sit, so I joined her.

"How was your date on Sunday?" I asked, unable to resist the temptation. Emily gave me a coy smile that spoke volumes. Clearly, she had enjoyed our time together.

"It was lovely" she said, softly. "Ultra Woman was so sweet. She took me to Italy and it was beautiful. We watched the sunset."

"Sounds great" I said with a smile. Emily nodded happily.

"It was. She actually _asked_ if she could kiss me. Isn't that adorable?" Oh, okay. I'd rather she think I'm adorable, rather than dorky. Emily continued. "And… oh God, she's _such_ a good kisser!" I felt a blush spread across my cheeks at her words, and looked down at my lap in the hope that she wouldn't notice.

"I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it" I told her, sincerely. Emily glanced at me, and must have noticed my embarrassment.

"You'll meet someone too" she said, nudging her shoulder against mine. I just shrugged. "Naomi, look at me." I lifted my gaze up to her face. "Of course you will, you're lovely." We continued to stare at each other for a moment, before Emily spoke again. "Have you ever thought about getting contact lenses?" She asked suddenly.

"Er, no. I'm squeamish. I don't like the idea of putting my fingers in my eyes." Emily nodded.

"Right. It's just a shame, because you've got such beautiful eyes. You should let people see them. Actually, they look a lot like…" She shook her head, as though dismissing the thought. "Never mind."

Oh, shit. I know whose eyes Emily has been staring into recently, and they happen to look _exactly_ like mine! Fortunately, Emily seemed as keen as I was to move the subject away from my eyes.

"Oh, thanks for your advice yesterday" she said. I frowned at her.

"What advice?"

"You know, when I texted you last night." What the fuck was she on about?

"Emily, I didn't…" In a rush, it dawned on me: my bloody mother had been texting Emily on my behalf! "Er, I didn't mind." God, I wish I'd never shown mum how to send text messages now! What on earth kind of advice had she been giving? "So… what particular piece of advice did you find most helpful?" I asked, hoping that my sneaky tactics would lead to enlightenment. Emily shrugged, casually.

"Well, all of it I suppose. It was pretty insightful. Kinda gave me a different slant on things, you know? Especially your last few texts."

Last few? Shit! How many texts had there been?

"Well don't feel that you have to listen to my advice" I said firmly. "I can be an interfering _cow _sometimes." I resolved to have stern words with my mother once Emily had gone, but for now I decided to steer the conversation away from our non-existent chat. "Have you heard from Thomas?" I asked. Emily's face darkened.

"Yeah. He said that the sale of the building is definitely going ahead. They've had an offer apparently, and even the mayor stepped in to ensure the sale goes through."

"The mayor?" I asked in surprise. Emily nodded.

"Yeah, bit suspicious, isn't it? Why the hell would she get involved in stuff like that? And who the hell would want to buy that place anyway? It's just a crappy old community room."

"Are they going to provide somewhere else for the soup kitchen?" I asked. Emily sighed.

"Yes, that's what they said. But these things can take forever, and the council can really drag their feet when they want to. Thomas worked so hard to get them to set the soup kitchen up in the first place."

"Maybe Ultra Woman could have a word with them" I mused aloud. I wasn't sure that I could really change anything, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Emily nodded.

"Yeah, maybe." She gave a bitter little chuckle. "I'd ask my mum to have a word with the mayor, if I thought that she cared enough to help."

"Your mum?"

"Mum and the mayor are good friends. They've known each other for years – since college I think. But mum actually seems pleased that the place has had to close down. Her and dad always hated me working there."

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><p>Emily didn't stay for too much longer. After she had gone I remembered that I needed to speak to my mother. I found her in the kitchen making dinner.<p>

"Were you texting Emily yesterday?" I demanded. Mum looked up from the carrots she was chopping.

"Oh, she's such a lovely, sweet girl!"

"Yeah, I know" I insisted. "That's why I'm dating her. What exactly did you text her?"

Mum tutted.

"Naomi, that was between me and Emily." I rolled my eyes at her as I tried to keep my patience in check.

"No, it was supposed to be between _me_ and Emily. She thinks your number is mine, remember?" Mum frowned as she slid the chopped carrots into a pan. Then she chuckled and shook her head slightly.

"Of course she does! Yes, I wondered why she kept calling me 'N' in her messages!" She placed the pan on the stove, then walked out of the room, still chuckling away to herself at her mistake.

Before I could follow after her, my own mobile rang. Emily's name flashed up on the screen. She must have called as soon as she got home. All annoyance at my mother was forgotten as I answered my phone.

"Emily, hi."

"Hi." Okay, she sounded happy – that was good. Well, as happy as someone can sound, when they've only said a two letter word so far. "So, I was wondering if you'd like to go out again?" She asked. My lips spread instantly into that same smile once more.

"I'd love to."

"Great. Are you free tomorrow night?"

"Yes. Shall I meet you outside the house again?"

"No, I'm asking _you_ out this time" said Emily, firmly. "Can I pick you up? I suppose you have an address somewhere, of like… your lair or something."

"My lair?" I asked with a grin. "You mean like the bat-cave?" Emily giggled.

"I don't know. I've never dated a super-hero before!" I didn't answer right away, and Emily must have sensed my hesitation. "I guess your address is another thing that you can't tell me?" She asked. I sighed.

"Emily, it's not that I don't want to, I just…"

"I know" she interrupted hastily. "It's okay, you'll tell me when you're ready." She really sounded like she just accepted it, for which I was grateful. A large part of me wanted to tell her the whole truth right away, but I still hardly knew her. I had to be sure that I could trust her before I could reveal my secret identity.

"I promise you I will" I said instead.

We made arrangements to go out the following evening. Emily insisted that it was her turn to take me out. She gave me the address of the restaurant and we arranged to meet there.

* * *

><p>The following day, I decided to head down to the council offices as Ultra Woman. I've met the mayor on a number of occasions, and she has always been very friendly to me. I don't think I hold any influence over her, but I could at least talk to her.<p>

I walked into the building and made my way to the right office. Outside her room was an outer office, with a desk and a small waiting area. Sat behind the desk was a ginger haired man in a suit – presumably the mayor's PA. He looked surprised when he saw me, and rose quickly to his feet.

"Ultra Woman! How lovely to see you" he said with a distinct welsh lilt. "Er, it is Ultra Woman, isn't it?" I nodded. Who else would I be? I don't think anyone else would actually _choose_ to wear an outfit like mine! At my nod, the man's excitement level seemed to rise. "Wow! What an honour it is to meet you." He reached up and tried to flatten down his unkempt fringe. "I er, I don't suppose I could trouble you for an autograph, could I?"

"Of course" I told him with a warm smile. I always try to make time for any fans that I meet. The man grinned broadly, before trying to get a hold of his emotions.

"It's not for me, you understand" he said hastily. "It's for my niece. She's six years old, and she thinks you're fabulous!" He grabbed a pen and a sheet of paper from his desk, and thrust them at me as though he was worried I would change my mind.

"Who should I make this out to?" I asked.

"Doug. That's D, O, U, G." I arched an inquisitive eyebrow at him. He instantly flushed scarlet. "That's her nickname" he muttered, whilst staring at his feet.

"Is the mayor available?" I asked, once I had signed the autograph. Doug sat back down behind his desk, his excitement disappearing in an instant.

"Oh. You want to talk to the mayor?" I'd have thought that was obvious, since I was in the mayor's office. Doug frowned. "She's really _very_ busy. Though perhaps for someone such as yourself…" His sentence trailed away as he picked up the phone on his desk. Before he could dial, the door to the mayor's office opened, and out walked the mayor of Bristol, Harriet Lawes. She had her head buried in a manila folder.

"Doug, I'll be expecting…" her sentence ended abruptly as she looked up and saw me standing in front of her. "Ultra Woman!" She gushed, theatrically. I couldn't help noticing how quickly she snapped the folder shut. "How _wonderful_ to see you!" She stepped forwards and air-kissed me on both cheeks.

"Harriet!" I mimicked her false, ingratiating tone. "Just _lovely_ to see you! I had a small matter that I wanted to talk to you about." Harriet's smile faltered somewhat.

"I'm afraid I'm expecting a lunch appointment…"

"Oh, you can spare a few seconds for teensy little me." I threw in a friendly wink, just for good measure. "I wanted to talk to you about the soup kitchen, near the Quayside."

The remainder of Harriet's smile disappeared at my words. She glanced down at the folder in her hand, before looking back at me. There was an unmistakeable hardness behind her eyes. She arched an eyebrow and pinched her lips tightly together. I wasn't sure if she was angry, or having a stroke.

"Well, obviously we're very grateful for the help you gave us when the place caught fire" she muttered, not sounding at all grateful. "But you don't need to worry about the place anymore." I hadn't expected Harriet to know instantly which place I was referring to - perhaps that tiny little community room had already been on her mind.

"I understand it's to be sold?" I pressed. Harriet gave an affected laugh.

"Ultra Woman, that place was an accident waiting to happen."

"But it wasn't an accident, it was arson."

Harriet clenched her fingers convulsively around the folder.

"Yes" she hissed through her teeth. "Yes, it was just a random act of arson, but the building is old, and no longer structurally sound."

"Bollocks!" I snapped without meaning to. I took a breath before continuing in a calmer tone. "Thomas was given the all clear to get the place fit for use again."

"That was a mistake" barked Harriet, casting a fierce glare at Doug. Under her gaze, he seemed to shrink back into his seat. "But the building will be sold. It's already a done deal." I opened my mouth to say more, but fell silent when she raised her hand. "Now I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a lunch appointment due any second." She glanced over my shoulder. "In fact, here she is now." I turned around to see none other than Jenna Fitch walking into the room. Harriet stepped towards her, and the two of them exchanged the same fake air-kisses that she had bestowed on me.

"Do you know Ultra Woman?" Harriet asked Jenna, gesturing towards me. Jenna turned her thin-lipped smile towards me.

"Oh yes" she said with an incline of her head. "Ultra Woman is already a close friend of the family." Well that's overstating things somewhat. I dined with them once, and couldn't wait to get away. Jenna didn't seem to remember that though. She took my hand and shook it firmly. "You must come round for another meal soon. We had a lovely time. Emily just hasn't stopped talking about you!" I grinned at the news about my favourite Fitch, before saying something vague about being very busy. It didn't seem to matter – Jenna had turned her attention back to Harriet, and it was like I no longer existed. The two of them prattled on happily to each other about where they were going to have lunch. Unobserved, I let my gaze drift down to the folder still clutched in Harriet's hand. Using my x-ray vision, I saw through it to the papers inside. It appeared to be a deed of sale, and I was sure that it would be for the soup kitchen. I scanned it quickly, hoping to find anything of interest. It was made out to a company called 'Smith Holdings'. I had never heard of it.

"Bye Ultra Woman." I looked up just in time to see the two ladies leaving for their lunch, Harriet still clutching the folder that I had been looking at.

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><p>Once evening came, I went out for my date with Emily. I arrived at the restaurant just as she was walking up to the front door. She had booked us a table at Le Cul de Cheval, which was probably the most exclusive restaurant in Bristol. Emily led the way inside. The maitre-d greeted us with warmth as we walked in.<p>

"Mademoiselle Fitch! How lovely to see you again" he said, in an implausible French accent. "And Ultra Woman! Finally you have visited our wonderful establishment." Yes, well I may have visited sooner, but I suspected that their prices were a little out of my range. I earn quite a lot of money from Ultra Woman merchandise – though probably most of my revenue is thanks to Sophia – but I only keep enough for a comfortable, not extravagant style of living. The rest all gets signed over to a number of carefully selected charities.

The maitre-d led us to our table, and handed us a menu each.

"It is indeed an honour to have you both at our restaurant" he said through his thick moustache. He certainly did seem in raptures to have us there. Emily gave him a warm smile.

"Thanks Pierre, but I'd appreciate it if you kept this quiet? I don't want the whole world knowing who I'm dining with." Pierre gave a very low bow in answer, his forehead almost touching the carpet.

"But of course, mademoiselle." He gave a firm nod. "For this evening, I can recommend the lobster. Your waiter will be with you un momento." He swept away importantly.

"Pierre?" I asked. Emily chuckled.

"He's not even French. His real name's Norman."

"I'd never of guessed" I answered dryly.

"I hope you don't mind me asking him to keep things quiet?" Asked Emily. "I'd rather it didn't get back to mum and dad just yet."

"How come? They seemed really keen for us to get to know each other." Emily grinned at me.

"Yeah, that's why I don't want them to know yet. I date who _I_ want to, and I don't want them thinking that I'm doing this to make them happy." I nodded, but I didn't completely understand. Obviously, Emily has an unusually complicated relationship with her parents.

"I'd rather not appear in the papers again, anyway" I told her. I had definitely had enough attention already from that quarter. I could still remember clearly the pictures that had accompanied Sophia's article about me. One of them was of me, fast asleep in Sophia's bed. I had thought that something had woken me that morning, and it was only later that I learned it was the flash from Sophia's camera. The other photo was of Sophia herself. She had a forlorn expression, and was clutching the cape that I had abandoned in her room like it was a child's comfort blanket.

Emily and I both turned our attention to our menus. I knew that I wasn't going to take Pierre's suggestion to order the lobster. There is no way that anyone can look remotely attractive while pulling a large crustacean to pieces. I'm already dressed head to foot in pink spandex – I don't need to give myself any further disadvantage!

* * *

><p>"So what sort of requests do you get?" Asked Emily. We were in the middle of a conversation about my fan-mail, but I didn't answer her straight away. We were both tucking into our main meals. Emily had ordered the lobster, and I had quickly discovered that I was very wrong to think that no-one could eat it sexily. It was a messy job and every so often, Emily would lick the tips of her fingers clean. It was incredibly distracting, watching those fingers dipping into her mouth, and I was watching her actions with unshakeable interest. "Ultra Woman?" Emily's concerned tone snapped me out of my daze. I dragged my eyes upwards to meet hers.<p>

All sorts of things" I answered with a shrug. "I get asked to do public appearances at fund-raisers, and product launches. Some people invite me to their kid's birthday parties. I get requests from magazines wanting to do photo shoots."

"What kind of shoots?"

"It depends on the magazine. I had a request from Zoo the other day. You know the lads mag?" Emily nodded. "They want me to pose in nothing but my boots and my cape." I shuddered with disgust at the thought of it. "Can you imagine that?" Emily smirked at me.

"Yeah, just give me a minute" she answered, with a devilish glint in her eye. I felt myself blush slightly.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I said no" I told her. "I don't want to think about a bunch of strangers wanking over my image!" Emily's eyes went wide, before she suddenly turned her whole attention back to her lobster. I couldn't help noticing how shifty it seemed. I gave a sharp intake of breath as the pieces clicked together.

"Emily Fitch!"

As I said her name, her face grew as red as her hair. A large grin spread across my face.

"Have you touched yourself while thinking about me?" I asked in an over-stated whisper. I stared at her until she raised her eyes up to meet mine. I could read the answer in them like a book.

"I might have done" she muttered. "Before I actually met you."

Oh

My

GOD!

A million different questions leapt simultaneously into my mind. Naturally, 'was the imaginary me any good?' was top of the pile. Closely followed by 'when can the real me have a chance?' Okay, so I'm now jealous of a fantasy version of myself – that can't be good. I scanned through the questions in my head for a one that was much safer to ask.

"So if you've liked me for a while, how come it seemed like you hated me?"

"I never hated you!" Said Emily quickly.

"But you really didn't seem to _like_ me very much."

Emily hesitated. She appeared to be trying to organise her thoughts.

"I always liked you" she said slowly. "But I read the stories in the papers about you, and I thought…" She sighed, and shook her head. "And then suddenly my mother was pressing me to go out with you. She's never really accepted that I'm gay, but then you come along and she's practically picking out wedding favours for us!"

"So what changed your mind?"

Emily chuckled.

"My friend Naomi told me to go out with you."

"That's it?" I asked. A feeling of guilt prickled at the back of my mind. "That was your only reason?" I was relieved to see Emily shake her head.

"No, of course not. You seemed… _different_ to how I expected when I met you. I wanted to find out what you're really like."

"Do you like what you've found out so far?" I asked gently. Emily nodded.

"Yes. I like it a lot."

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><p>The rest of dinner passed by perfectly. Emily insisted on settling the bill herself, and I didn't argue too much. We walked out of the restaurant and into the car park hand in hand. As we reached Emily's car, she tugged on my hand to pull me closer. I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. We kissed for a few moments, before breaking breathlessly apart.<p>

"Would you like to come back to mine for a bit?" Asked Emily. "For coffee, or to make out" she added casually.

"That sounds perfect" I said with a grin. "I'd love a coffee." Emily slapped my arm lightly.

"Cheeky!"

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer.

"Let's skip the coffee and go straight for the make-out session" I murmured into her ear.

"That's what I was hoping you'd say" she answered, causing a shiver of delight to ride it's way along my spine. I _definitely_ could get used to this!


	11. Chapter 11

**As I mentioned in my last A/N, Emily texting Naomi for advice and unwittingly getting advice from Gina instead was an idea from Reddawg82. She wanted to know what was texted, but I confessed that I couldn't really picture it. Well she kept on thinking about it, and promised to send me a copy of that conversation as she imagined it. **

**I expected to get a vague outline of a few texts, but what I received was an entire section of story, complete with setting. She could have posted it as a stand-alone 1 shot to accompany this story, but instead she said that I could use it. I've changed the setting to make it fit the chapter I was already writing, but I have hardly altered the wording of the texts at all. It should be clear enough - each new text starts on a fresh line. If you like that section, then please give full credit to Reddawg82. I'm kind of hating her for it, really - it's funnier than anything I've written! **

**Red, you know I'm only kidding about hating you, right? LYD!**

**Anyway, I hope this chapter is as fun to read as it was to write.**

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><p>On Saturday morning, Effy and I found ourselves with no plans and feeling very bored. So bored, that we resorted to chatting with my mother.<p>

"Where should I take Emily on our next date?" I asked them both. Mum gave the question some thought before answering.

"Vegas, perhaps? I was reading about a wonderful magic show that's on there. It's a female magician…"

"A magic show?" I asked in disbelief. "I'm not taking her to a magic show, how sad is that?"

Before mum could offer any further suggestions, her phone beeped.

"It's from Emily" she said, handing the phone over to me. Well at least she seems to have gotten the message that Emily is using that number to text me and not her. I cast my eyes over the message.

**Katie and I are bored. ****Fancy coming over for a game of snooker? Effy too **

"Fancy going over to the Fitches for snooker?" I asked Effy. She just shrugged, which I took to mean yes. I dashed off a quick reply.

**Sounds great! ****We'll see you soon**

As I sent the message, mum rose to her feet and left the room, leaving me with her phone still in my hand. I suddenly remembered that I never did check to see if Emily's text conversation with my mother was still on there. Since mum probably doesn't know how to delete texts, there was a good chance of finding it. I stared down at the phone, and wondered briefly if I really should invade my mother's privacy, but the thought didn't last long. I quickly reasoned that I should probably have knowledge of a conversation that mum had with Emily on my behalf. That way, if it comes up again at least I'll know what I'm supposed to have written. I brought up the oldest message on the phone.

**Happy new millennium**

_Seriously_? Mum didn't even have this phone then! My fingers moved rapidly over the keys until I found the first message from last Monday.

**Hey N you busy? – Emily**

I couldn't help but smile as I saw her name. My thumb traced idly over each letter, before I realised what I was doing and scoffed at my actions. I had information that I needed to collect, and this wasn't the time to be distracted. I glanced up and saw that Effy was engrossed in a magazine and not watching me. I turned my full attention back to the phone, and brought up mum's reply.

**Just making some penne pasta with alfredo sauce and mushrooms. Have you had dinner yet love?**

Love? Oh for Christ sake, how embarrassing was this going to be? With a feeling of dread, I began the task of skipping back and forth between the inbox and the outbox to get the whole conversation.

**Yes. I snuck into the kitchen earlier and made myself some eggs.**

**If you're still hungry you can come over and have some of this, I made entirely too much.**

**Thanks N, but I'm ok**

**Maybe I could make it for you sometime, pet.**

I rolled my eyes at that one. Emily now thinks that I use words like 'pet'.

**That sounds lovely. I had no idea you can cook!**

**Of course I can! I've been cooking for years.**

This all seemed like harmless conversation so far, but I knew that it had to get more juicy. With trepidation, I carried on.

**N, can I ask you something?**

**Of course dear, I'm always happy to help you.**

**UW claimed that she's not a womaniser. Do you think I should trust her?**

**I would say so. If she's a womaniser, then I'm a monkey's uncle.**

Oh my God, do people still even use that expression anymore? Apart from that, the conversation generally didn't seem too bad so far. I still had a way to go though.

**But what if I want to… God N, the things she makes me feel!**

I gripped the phone a little tighter as my interest level rose. It seemed like things were about to get interesting!

**Want to do what?**

Is my mother for real? I could just imagine the look of confusion on her face at that point.

**Want to – you know, be more intimate with her.**

**Oh, you want to shag Ultra Woman?**

Argh! I just knew that mum would embarrass me!

**N! **

**Sex is nothing to be embarrassed about Emily! It's only natural, after all. So do you?**

**Well, yes of course I do! I don't want it to be just a shag though, babe. I want it to mean more than that. But I admit I find her sexy! She really stirs something in me. Lame, I know. LOL!**

I imagined that my mum probably had no fucking clue what LOL meant. She probably just skipped over that, figuring that it's just some kind of lingo that she's not familiar with. I kept reading.

**Then make it more, Emily. I'm sure that she wants what you want.**

**I wish I could be sure of that.**

**Try talking to her. She would be crazy not to want you. She may be a superhero, but she's still human. Well, sort of.**

**I guess I should talk to her, but she has so many secrets – it could get to be a problem.**

**She has to protect herself. Surely you're not actually worried, are you?**

**Kind of. **

**Don't be. Ultra Woman can be very stubborn sometimes, and she has more walls around herself than is good for her, but she likes you a lot.**

**How do you know that?**

**Just a hunch.**

It was more than just a hunch. Thanks a fucking lot, mum! No wonder I had no idea what Emily had been talking about. With only a few texts left, and with my heart in my mouth, I carried on reading.

**A hunch, eh?**

**Well, perhaps I have some inside information!**

**Thanks N. I appreciate it!**

**Anytime. So when will you be coming over for a home-cooked meal? Made with love!**

**It'll be soon babe, I promise.**

**I can't wait!**

**I'm off for an early night N. Luv U! Goodnight - Emily**

**Goodnight dear. Have sweet dreams, and perhaps some racy ones too!**

Oh my God, what the fuck is my mother trying to do to me? I've died and gone to Hell, I must have done.

**LMFAO! I just might!**

**Goodnight! LYD!**

LYD? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Any bets that my mother just randomly typed some capital letters, thinking that's how it works. Either that or it stands for something ridiculous, and I'm better off not knowing. I tossed mum's phone aside as I thought about the conversation I had just read. I couldn't believe that mum had written all of that. But on the plus side, at least Emily was talking about shagging me.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked Effy, as I remembered that we were due over at the Fitches. She nodded. We both stood up, and after a hastily shouted 'bye' to mum, we walked outside. I held my arms out to Effy.

"Fly slowly" she insisted. "You mess my hair up when you fly too fast." I gazed with incredulity at her hair. It looked like it hadn't been near a hairbrush in weeks.

"Effy, your hair always look like you haven't done anything with it."

"Well it takes me ages to get the 'I don't give a fuck' look just right" she muttered as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

In no time at all, we were landing a little way out of sight of Robenna Mansion. We walked the few steps to the huge, imposing gates at the bottom of the driveway. I peered uncertainly at the security panel on the wall. In my previous visits to the house I had always been Ultra Woman, and had flown either straight to the front door, or straight to Emily's balcony. Effy reached past me and pressed a button. The thing buzzed ferociously at us before falling silent. Then it crackled into life.

"Hey, come on in" said a voice that I knew instantly was Emily's. The huge gates creaked open to admit our entrance.

Emily was waiting for us once we reached the front door.

"Hi. I'm glad you could make it over. Katie and I would probably end up killing each other if we only had each other's company for the rest of the day."

Emily led the way through the entrance hallway, to a door that I hadn't been through before. Behind it, a flight of wooden stairs led downwards. As we made our way down the stairs, the sound of a conversation met my ears. It was coming up from the room we were heading into, but it was too low for anyone with normal hearing to make out.

"Well you know what you need to do" said the unmistakeable voice of Jenna Fitch.

"What about Ultra Woman?" Asked a male voice that seemed familiar. "She keeps sniffing round. She could be a problem."

"I'm still hoping to get her onside" said Jenna. "If that doesn't work I've got…" Another male voice that I didn't recognise cut her off mid-sentence.

"Someone's coming." The voices all fell silent, as the sound of our footsteps on the stairs reached them. We were walking down into a large basement, done out as a games room. A full-size snooker table stood in the middle of the floor, there was a dartboard on one wall, a jukebox, and several comfy sofas places around the edges of the room. The basement was divided into two, with a doorway leading through to another section. It was this second section that the other voices had come from. As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Jenna emerged through the doorway, followed by Cook and his two friends that we met at the cinema.

"Oh, hi mum. These are my friends…" began Emily.

"Nice to meet you" said Jenna, not even waiting for our names, and not looking at all in our direction. "I've got work to get on with, I'll see you later Emily." With hasty steps, she made her way out of the basement.

"Can't keep away from the Cookie Monster, can you ladies?" Asked Cook, stepping with confidence towards the three of us.

"Sorry about him" said Freddie. He scratched the back of his head in an affectedly bashful manner. He walked towards Effy with a warm smile. "I'm Freddie" he told her, holding out his hand. Effy just stared at it in contempt.

"Really?" She asked, arching an eyebrow at him. "'Cause I thought if he's the Cookie Monster, that would make you two Bert and Ernie." She gestured at Freddie and JJ. Freddie grinned sheepishly at her, not sure if he should take offence at her words.

"Come on, guys, we've got some important shit to sort out" said Cook, leading the way out of the basement. JJ followed after him, and after one last grin at Effy, so did Freddie.

"Wow, this place is amazing" I said, taking in our surroundings and acting as though the interruption had never taken place. I glanced all around us, before casually walking through to the other part of the basement. We seemed to have walked in on an important meeting between Jenna and the other three, and I wanted to know what they had been doing in there. I was disappointed to find a much smaller room through the doorway. It was dominated by a vast, hideous portrait of Jenna and Rob, hanging on one wall. It was easily eight feet tall, and cast a real darkness across the whole room. It seemed like a strange part of the house to keep such a portrait in. Although if it were mine, I wouldn't want people to see it either. The room was otherwise empty, except for a few boxes of storage items. There seemed to be several boxes filled to overflowing with Rob Fitch's recently released autobiography 'From Rags to Fitches: the Story of a Self-Made Millionaire'. There was nothing else of interest, so I went back to the other room.

The clip-clop of heels on the wooden stairs announced the arrival of Katie.

"God that fucker Cook has such an ego!" She declared as she reached the foot of the stairs. She gave a friendly greeting to us both as Emily started setting up the snooker table for our game.

"Me and Emily against you two?" I suggested. Katie nodded her agreement.

"Oh, you're going down, Campbell!" Answered Effy as she picked up a cue. Katie stared at me with a frown on her face. I braced myself for the inevitable.

"Naomi _Campbell_?" She asked, amusement clear in her voice. "That's really your name?" I nodded. "Is that the best you could come up with?"

"Come up with?" I asked in confusion. "Katie, that's just my name. I was christened that. Well, mum's not religious, so I wasn't actually _christened._ But I think they had some kind of hippyish baby-naming ceremony. Mum said it was in a forest somewhere, in moonlight. And I think they were naked." Okay, once again I have ventured into that territory known as 'too much information'. I looked around to see Emily grinning at me, obviously wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

"Let's play" said Effy firmly, lining up to break.

Soon we were well into our game of snooker. Effy was trying to cheat of course, but I knew what she was up to. She knows that as long as I can concentrate, I will rarely miss a shot on a snooker table. So she was trying her hardest to ensure that I couldn't concentrate. She kept whispering things low enough for only me to hear, about how she could see Emily's tattoo when she moved a certain way. After falling for it a couple of times, I quickly realised that it was all bollocks and started ignoring her.

"So, we're all girls together here" said Effy, as I lined up a particularly difficult shot to sink the green ball. "Emily, how did you lose your virginity?" I almost tore the baize at that, but I quickly managed to regain my composure. I guess Effy has switched to more direct tactics to win the game. My shot forgotten for the moment, I looked up at Emily to see her blushing.

"I'm not sure I know you well enough to share that story with you yet" she answered with a giggle. I cast a smug look at Effy, because her attempt had failed. Although admittedly, I was disappointed that Emily had avoided giving an answer. I turned my attention back to the table.

"I lost mine on this very table" said Katie simply.

"Shit." The white ball sailed harmlessly past the green ball, and plopped into the far pocket. I looked up to see Katie grinning devilishly at me, and realised that she had cottoned on to Effy's tactics.

The game carried on, the banter between us all continuing along a similar path. Once it was my shot again, I braced myself for whatever Effy and Katie were about to throw at me.

"I hear you have a tattoo" Effy asked Emily. A poor effort, really. As long as I reminded myself to keep on breathing, I would be fine.

"Yeah, don't mention it in front of our parents though" answered Emily. "Mum hates tattoos. She'd freak if she found out about it."

I leaned over the table, ready to pot the black.

"She'd have a total _meltdown_ if she knew about your pierced nipple as well" added Katie, as if it was an afterthought.

"Fuck!" The cue ball bounced clean off the table and smashed with destructive force into a nearby lamp. "Shit, I'm sorry." I dashed over to the lamp to examine the damage I'd caused, but the only thing I could think about was this new information.

Emily has a pierced nipple.

She squatted down beside me. I found myself wondering if it was her left nipple, or her right nipple.

"God, how hard did you hit the ball?" She asked, staring in wonder at the carnage I'd created.

"Which one?" I asked, without even thinking. Emily frowned at me. I blushed and looked hastily down at the floor. I saw the cue ball lying amongst the wreckage of the lamp.

"Oh the _cue_ ball" I muttered, trying to cover my mistake by pretending I had been reffering to the balls rather than her tits. I picked up the ball and grinned sheepishly at Emily.

"The left one" she whispered, giving a sly wink as she rose to her feet. I promptly dropped the cue ball. Emily announced that the lamp was beyond saving, while I just scrunched my eyes tightly shut. The urge to use my x-ray vision was stronger than it had ever been before.

We managed to finish our game without further incident. Then Effy and Katie took each other on at darts. Not wanting to see any of our party lose an eye, I opted out of the game. Emily suggested that we head upstairs to find something for us all to eat, and I agreed.

She led the way into the kitchen and began rummaging around in the cupboards.

Emily has a pierced nipple.

Shit, concentrate Naomi! Those five words kept leaping unbidden into my mind at inopportune moments.

Suddenly, Jenna walked into the kitchen. I shoved my glasses further onto my face, as my usual fear of discovery flashed through my mind. She smiled warmly at Emily, before staring apprehensively at me.

"This is my friend Naomi" said Emily, gesturing towards me. Jenna gave me a look of pure contempt. It was a far cry from the warmth that she shows to Ultra Woman. At least it was clear that she didn't recognise me.

"Is she one of _your_ people?" Asked Jenna with suspicion. From the corner of my eye I saw Emily roll her eyes, but since Jenna was staring beadily at me, she missed it.

"Yes, Naomi is one of _my_ people" said Emily slowly, her voice heavy with sarcasm. "She is part of the ancient tribe of fanny fanciers. Her real name is Great Chief Clit-Licker." Jenna tutted with distaste, while I tried to stifle my giggles.

"I was only asking Emily, there's no need to be so crude." Jenna turned her piercing stare back towards me. I felt myself bristling in readiness.

"Do you know Ultra Woman?" She asked. Emily cursed softly under her breath. I shrugged.

"Not really." Jenna's smile doubled it's width at that news.

"Well, she's a close friend of the family. I saw her just the other day at the mayor's office, and do you know what she called me?" She clearly wasn't waiting for an answer. "She said to me: 'Jenna, you are a treasure'."

I nearly exclaimed aloud at that. I don't think I've ever called anyone a treasure, let alone Jenna! But just let me see if I've got this right – Jenna is trying to intimidate me, by lying to me about her connection to… well, _me_!

"That's… lovely" I said vaguely, with another shrug. Jenna seemed happy enough with my meagre response, and swept out of the room. Emily sighed as her mother walked away.

"Sorry about that" she muttered. "That's why I haven't told her that I'm dating Ultra Woman."

Emily has a pierced nipple.

"Does Katie know?" I asked. Emily nodded.

"Yeah, I tell her pretty much everything."

We grabbed some various bits of food and some bottles of water, before heading back down into the basement. Katie and Effy had already got bored of darts and were lounging around on the sofas.

"Hurry up, bitches, I'm hungry" said Katie.

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><p>After lunch we decided to play another game of snooker. Effy and Katie both gave sterling efforts to distract me again, but I was able to keep my mind entirely on the task in hand.<p>

Emily has a pierced nipple.

Well, almost.

The game progressed, until Emily had a chance to sink the black ball and end the game. She struck the cue-ball well, but without enough power. The black ball rolled steadily, before coming to rest just before the pocket. Surreptitiously, I stepped closer to the table. If cheating was okay for the other team, then it was okay for us too. I placed my hand under the table to raise it slightly, and… nothing happened. I frowned, braced myself and tried again. Still nothing happened. It was a heavy, full-sized table, but moving it should have been a doddle for me. I stepped back from the table in confusion. What the fuck was going on?

We were enough points ahead, so Emily and I still won the game. But the congratulations and the ensuing banter washed over me in a blur. I felt otherwise fine, but I didn't appear to have my normal strength. It was very worrying. And I was unable to test it further, until we were away from the twins. Regretfully, I made our excuses to leave. Effy seemed surprised, but she just went along with it. Pretty soon, we said our goodbyes and were outside of the Fitch place.

"Is everything okay?" Asked Effy once we were alone. I nodded. She stepped closer in readiness for flying home.

"It's a nice day, why don't we just walk back?" I suggested, not sure if I could trust myself with flying while carrying a passenger. Effy stared questioningly at me.

"Okay, what's up?"

Damn her and her perception!

"I felt weak" I muttered. "While we were playing snooker." Effy rolled her eyes at me - not quite the reaction that I was expecting.

"Fuck's sake, Naomi! I get it, okay? You really like Emily. She makes your heart pound, and she makes you feel dizzy…"

"Effy!" My sharp tone stopped her in her tracks. "I'm not talking metaphorically, I mean I really had no strength!" Effy stared at me in confusion.

"No strength?"

"I tried to lift the snooker table…"

"I _knew_ you were cheating!"

"Not the part to focus on, Effy!" I snapped. Effy shook her head.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay now?" I glanced around us until I saw a decent sized stone. I picked it up and squeezed my hand around it. It took more effort than I would normally expect, but eventually it crumbled into dust.

"I seem to be getting back to normal" I said as I wiped the dust from my hands.

"Has this ever happened before?"

"No." I shook my head in exasperation. "I've never had any problems before. Not that I can remember, anyway." There was only one way to be sure – I needed to ask the one person who had been there throughout my life.

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><p>"Mum I'm fine!" I growled, as mum placed her hand to my forehead. "Honestly, I'm okay. I'm back to full strength by now, and I've checked that I can still fly and everything." Mum's sigh was full of concern.<p>

"But it's just so worrying" she said. "Lifting a snooker table is nothing to you."

"Has this ever happened before?" Asked Kieran. Mum shook her head.

"No, never. She's never lost her strength, she's never been sick…" Her sentence drifted away as a look of recollection reached her eyes. "…except when you were a baby" she added to me. I waited for her to explain more. "It was a couple of days after you first arrived. We went back to the same beach, the three of us. We put you down on the sand, but you started crying and you just wouldn't stop. I didn't know how I knew, but I was _sure_ there was something wrong. Nothing would calm you down at all."

"Did you figure out what it was?" I asked, my curiosity mounting. Mum had told me quite a bit about how I arrived on earth, but this was one story that she hadn't shared before. I knew that they were sunbathing on a deserted beach in India when my spacecraft crash-landed beside them. True, mum recently changed her account to tell me that they were actually _fucking_ on the beach, but I was in strict denial about that part. I would rather not think about my mother being sexually active thank you very much! Although at times, it can be rather difficult to maintain that ignorance. Have you ever inadvertently overheard your parents going at it? Imagine having super-hearing…

"There was this strange rock nearby" continued mum, snapping my mind back to more pressing concerns. "It didn't look like any rock we'd ever seen before, so we thought it must have landed there when your ship landed. When we took you away from the rock, you seemed okay again."

"So what happened to the rock?" Asked Kieran.

"We buried it" answered mum. "In the same place that we'd buried the ship. We couldn't risk anyone finding either of them."

"Well if we're to make any sense of this, I think you need to find that ship, and that rock, and take another look at them." I nodded as Kieran voiced the same idea that had just occurred to me.

"But what's the connection between some geological specimen in India, and the Fitches basement?" Asked Effy.

"There's something very suspicious about Jenna and Rob" I grumbled.

"What makes you say that?" Asked Kieran, eyeing me closely. I shrugged.

"There's nothing definite, you know? Nothing concrete, but there are some things that are suggestive of them being involved in something."

"Naomi love, you've got to tell us everything you know, or even suspect" insisted mum. I opened my mouth to share my information about the Fitches with the others.

"Emily has a pierced nipple."

Damn my one-track mind.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think.<strong>

**And I promise I've not forgotten about those magicians in Vegas. I'll be getting back to them in the new year.**

**Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a good time last night.**

**Once again, thanks so much for the reviews. The response to that last chapter really overwhelmed me! Your reward is the longest chapter yet. It picks up exactly where the last one ended.**

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><p>"Emily has a pierced nipple."<p>

Three pairs of eyes stared unblinking back at me. It was mum who broke the silence.

"Well, that's very nice dear, but I don't really see how that's relevant."

Kieran cleared his throat.

"Exactly. It's very interesting that Emily has a pierced er… you know, a pierced… _thing._" He gestured vaguely in the direction of his chest. "But it's not really important information." I rolled my eyes at him. All these years of living with two women, and he still couldn't use words like 'nipple'.

"Naomi, what exactly do you know about the _older_ Fitches?" Asked mum. I took a deep breath.

"Well, I overheard Jenna in the basement this morning. She said something to Cook about trying to get me 'onside'." Effy frowned.

"Onside for what?"

"That's all I heard." I cast my mind back over my various suspicions about Mr and Mrs Fitch. "I just feel like it's got something to do with these fires that have been happening lately."

"What makes you say that?" Asked Effy.

"Well, I saw Cook at the factory fire. It doesn't mean he's involved, but…"

I began to explain to the others the little bits and pieces of things that had happened that might be relevant.

"Well that's not much to go on" said Kieran as I finished. Everyone nodded.

"What about when you had dinner there?" Asked mum. "What sort of things did you talk about?"

"Nothing much, really. Jenna asked me some stuff about myself."

"Like what?" Asked Effy sharply, her interest suddenly caught.

"Like how I came to earth, did I like it here, do I have any weaknesses…"

"WHAT!" Effy, Kieran and mum all stared at me in wide-eyed amazement.

"And you didn't find that just a little bit suspicious?" Asked Effy. I gave a rather pathetic little shrug.

"Er…no. It just seemed like she was making conversation…" My sentence trailed away as I wondered how my suspicions hadn't been raised at the time. The answer wasn't long in coming to me: Emily. I had been smitten with her right from the start, and she had been pretty much all I could focus on at that dinner.

"Well we need more to go on than some hunches and conjectures" said Kieran firmly. "I think you need to find that spaceship." I turned to mum.

"Fancy a trip to India?"

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><p>Later that evening, we were all collapsed on sofas in our front room. Mum and I had returned from India to find Kieran, Effy, Tony and Anthea all tucking into pizzas, waiting for us to get back. They had all looked up expectantly as we walked in, and everyone started asking at once how our trip had gone. They were all as confused as me and mum when we told them that we hadn't been able to find anything. Neither the mysterious rock or my spacecraft had been there.<p>

"It must have been there somewhere!" Said Kieran for about the fifth time since our return. I rolled my eyes at him.

"No! I told you - mum recognised the same spot, but there was nothing there. Besides, I x-rayed the whole area. There was nothing buried anywhere around there."

"But who could have found it?" Mused Anthea aloud. "Wouldn't something like that of been on the news?" Effy shrugged.

"Depends on who found it. Besides, if you believe all those 'area 51' conspiracy theories, the government don't want us to know that we're not alone."

I sighed softly, and took another gulp of my wine. Not for the first time, I wished that alcohol had the same effect on me as it did on humans. Oblivion would make a rather pleasant change for tonight, given all the things I had on my mind. First up of course: my loss of power earlier today. That was really troubling, because I've never experienced anything like that before. Another obvious concern was where the hell was my spaceship? Mum insisted that they had been really careful to bury it as deep as possible so that no-one could find it accidentally. The area hadn't been built on in the intervening years, so it seemed unlikely that someone had just stumbled across it.

Thinking of my spacecraft had also made me realise how little I know about myself. I have no idea where I'm from, or how I came to be in that spaceship in the first place. How do I come to have these strange powers? And will I have them for the rest of my life? I've always just taken my abilities for granted, but how do I know that they will last? For all I know, this afternoon had simply been the start of a progressive deterioration.

I looked up at mum, who had been very quiet all evening. She had a pensive look on her face and seemed lost in her own thoughts.

"Mum, how did you first start to realise that I was different from other people?" I asked. My words appeared to snap her from her internal musings.

"Well you crash-landed on the beach in a spaceship, Naomi. That's the sort of clue that even I won't miss" she answered with a chuckle. I grinned back at her.

"I know that! I mean my super-powers. When did you start noticing them?" Mum frowned with the effort of remembering.

"I'm not sure, really. Your father and I hadn't been around kids very much, so we didn't have anyone to compare you to." I smiled at the familiar way that mum referred to her former partner as my father. He had no biological relationship to me, and I had no memories of him being around, but she still always insisted that he was my father.

"There must have been some things you noticed?" Asked Effy. Mum shrugged.

"Well like all kids, she would crawl around and bump into things. Except in our house the furniture always came off worse than she did."

"Anything else?" I asked hopefully. Mum continued.

"Well like I said, I didn't have anyone to compare you to, but you always seemed very advanced for your age. I don't suppose many kids played 'catch' with their father in the garden at six months old." She chuckled softly, as the memories came back to her. "I always worried you would drop him, but you never did." Mum's expression quickly changed to a one of shocked realisation. "That shitty little prick!" She exclaimed, suddenly. Everyone stared at her, waiting for her to elaborate. "Your father, Naomi! He's the only other person who knew where your craft was! He must have taken it!" I stared in shock at her. We hadn't heard from the man in years - could he really be involved in this? Although it certainly made sense of how someone had managed to find my ship.

"Would you be able to track him down?" I asked. Mum sighed.

"I honestly don't know. I'll try my best. He may have been in touch with some of our old friends where we used to live, but I've not seen him since he fucked off all those years ago."

Anthea gave a contemptuous snort.

"Typical men! Bunch of useless bastards." She waved a vague apology at Tony and Kieran, but they were well used to this sort of outburst by now. "My Jim was just the same. Fucked off with his cunting tail between his legs, for no good reason!" Tony smirked at his mother.

"Mum, you cheated on him with his best friend."

"Well, I may have…"

Tony continued.

"And two guys he played five-aside with."

"There was nothing on TV that night…"

"And his boss" added Tony.

"You're father didn't understand my needs…"

"And his boss's wife."

Anthea had no more explanations to offer. She simply gave a casual shrug, and took a deep drag of her cigarette.

Before anyone could say anything more, the sound of a siren cut into my thoughts. I rose to my feet, as I explained what I had heard. Mum stared at me with a look full of concern.

"You're not going out tonight, are you?" She asked.

"Mum I'm fine, honestly."

Mum continued to grumble as I stripped off my outer clothes. I tried my best to assure her that I would be okay, but she wasn't happy that I was leaving.

"Just be careful" she insisted. "If you feel weak again, then you should come straight home." I assured her that I would do that. "And stay away from that Jenna woman! I don't like the sound of her one bit." I promised that I would follow her advice, then left before she could add anything more.

I relished the feel of the cool breeze on my face as I flew over the streets of Bristol. I kept glancing around me, looking for any sign of trouble. I soon saw the source of the siren. Yet again, a building was on fire. I wondered if this one would be linked to the others. I swooped nearer to see what was going on. There was quite a severe blaze, so I scanned the building to see if there was anyone inside. Certain that there wasn't, I looked around to see if the fire-crew had arrived yet. There was no sign of them, but something else caught my eye. I landed on the ground to investigate, and wasn't even surprised to see a familiar face there.

"Mr Cook." I stood in front of him with my hands on my hips. I had only met Cook as myself, but no-one ever seemed to question how Ultra Woman knew people's names. I guess people just assume that I'm all-seeing, along with everything else.

This time I felt sure that our meeting wasn't a coincidence. My enhanced olfactory sense told me that Cook was covered in petrol. He grinned broadly at me.

"It's just 'Cook', babe. Or The Cookie Monster." He eyed me up and down with a lascivious look. If it were possible, his grin stretched even wider. "But you'll be calling me 'God' in about thirty seconds time." I sneered at him and crossed my arms.

"Fortunately, I'm gay. But I wouldn't touch you, even if I was straight." Cook threw his head back and roared with laughter.

"Trust me, Ultra Babe – you're only gay 'cause you haven't found anyone that's _man_ enough for ya!" He punctuated his sentence with a thrust of his crotch. "You want it, I want it. Let's get together and feel alright."

"You couldn't make me feel alright if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood on a cement mixer." Urgh, where the fuck did that come from? Sometimes I really shouldn't say things out loud. That sentence gave me a totally random, yet oddly specific mental image that will be hell to shift. Staples do not belong in such sensitive areas! Cook spread his arms wide.

"Hey, if that's the kind of weird, alien shit you're into, that's fine with me." Okay, I'm so bored of this now. I took two quick steps forward, and pinned his arms to his sides. Cook waggled his eyebrows at me. "Like it rough, eh? Nice." I just ignored him, and hoisted him up into the air.

I took Cook to Bristol Police Station. I explained to the clerk at the desk why I had brought him, and left him in their care. I felt sure that the police forensics team would be able to link Cook to the fires. Apart from the fact that he reeked of petrol, I was sure there would be traces of him all over the crime-scenes. As far as I could gather, he had a grand total of two brain cells, so I was certain that he wouldn't have covered his tracks very well.

With that taken care of, I rose back into the sky to make sure that the fire brigade were on their way to the fire. They were, so I decided to leave them to their work. My thoughts turned to Emily. Almost instinctively, I found myself heading in the direction of the Fitch Estate. I know I promised mum that I would stay away from Jenna, but I probably wouldn't even see her. I desperately wanted to spend some time with Emily as Ultra Woman. I hadn't done so since our date on Wednesday night. We had spoken and texted since then, but nothing more.

As I moved closer to the house I saw that a light was on in Emily's room, and the patio doors leading inside were thrown open. It crossed my mind that perhaps Emily had left them open in case I flew by. I landed on the balcony. I could see Emily inside, rummaging under her bed for something. All other thoughts and concerns disappeared from my mind in a flash as I took in the sight of my gorgeous red-head. I tapped lightly on the door to alert her to my presence. She looked up and smiled warmly when she saw me.

"Hi, come in. I was hoping you might pop by tonight." I grinned broadly as she confirmed my suspicions, before stepping into the room. Emily climbed to her feet and walked towards me. She was wearing a pair of combats that sat low on her hips, and a snug-fitting t-shirt that clung alluringly to her figure. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me willingly towards her for a kiss. "I missed you" she breathed, as we broke apart.

"I missed you too" I told her. I know I only saw her this afternoon, but she doesn't know that. Besides, I've missed being able to place a kiss on her perfect lips whenever I've wanted to. "Looking for something?" I asked, nodding in the direction of the bed that Emily was just searching under. She gave an exasperated sigh.

"I can't find what I've done with my phone."

"I'll ring it" I told her, reaching for my own mobile. Emily took a couple of quick steps in the direction of her bed.

"No it's fine" she said hurriedly. "It doesn't matter. Anyway, I think I probably left it downstairs."

"Well I'll still hear it" I told her. "As long as it's switched on, I'll hear it ringing."

"I'm sure it's switched off" answered Emily quickly. "Really, don't bother."

"It's no trouble." I pushed the buttons on my phone to call Emily's number. After a couple of seconds, a noise started up from somewhere within the room. It was the unmistakeable drum beat of an Eighties power ballad.

"Shit." Emily scrunched her eyes shut for a second, before leaping into action to locate her phone. The lyrics of the song kicked in.

_Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the Gods?_

It was coming from the direction of the wardrobe. Emily practically dived across the room and wrenched the doors open.

_Where's the street-wise Hercules, to fight the rising odds?_

"I forgot I left it in my other jacket" said Emily loudly, trying to drown out the sound of her ring-tone.

_Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?_

Clothes were scattered wildly across the floor, as she attempted frantically to reach her ringing phone.

_Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need._

Finally, a very flustered Emily managed to grab her mobile and silence it. I smirked at her.

"Emily, do you really have 'Holding Out For A Hero' as my ring-tone?" She flashed me a very abashed grin, before nodding.

"Yeah. I guess you think that's pretty sad, huh?" I chuckled, before pulling her into my arms again.

"No, I think it's really cute actually." I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. "So are you holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night?" Emily flushed bright red.

"Shut up, you."

"Make me" I answered with a grin. Emily slid her arms around my neck, and pulled me nearer. We kissed for a few moments.

"You're too tall" She grumbled, as we pulled apart. "I get a crick in my neck when I kiss you." I placed my hands on her hips and lifted her effortlessly from the ground until her face was level with mine.

"Is this better?" I asked. Emily squealed, and swatted playfully at my shoulders.

"No! Put me down" she giggled. I did as she requested.

"I thought that would make it easier to kiss me" I told her with a teasing pout. Emily took both of my hands with hers.

"I had another suggestion" she murmured, as she led me back towards her bed. I gladly followed her. We both climbed onto the bed and sank into it in a soft embrace, me on top of Emily. Our lips met with gentle, chaste kisses. Emily's hands slid up to my shoulders, while mine found her hips. Her tongue ran lightly against my lips, so I parted them. I moaned as I felt the first caress of her tongue against mine. It set a fire deep inside of me. My hands slid upwards until they reached the soft skin of Emily's waist. One of Emily's hands moved to stroke the nape of my neck, the other snaked further around my back, pulling me closer. We had kissed like this before, but only whilst sat on the sofa. This felt so much more intimate.

I broke from Emily's lips to press soft, open-mouthed kisses to her neck. She gasped, and reached both hands up to tangle in my hair. Her actions spurred me on, and I continued kissing my way down to her collarbone. I raised myself up on the bed to look into her eyes, but as I did so something caught my attention further down. My gaze drifted down to Emily's slightly exposed midriff. My movements had caused her t-shirt to ride up a little, and I could see a tantalising hint of ink there.

"Have I just found your tattoo?" I whispered, not wanting to mar the moment by saying anything too loud. Emily gave me a coy smile.

"Would you like to see it?" She asked. I nodded, and felt sure that my eyes would be shining in anticipation. I sat up, and raised her top a little way up her stomach. Instead of the tattoo, the first thing my eyes rested on was a small piece of jewellery nestling in her bellybutton. It was silver, set with a tiny emerald stone.

"You have a piercing" I said with a grin, pressing a finger gently against it. Emily nodded.

"I've also got another one, but you're not seeing it just yet" she told me with a wink. Without any instruction from me, my eyes rested immediately on Emily's tits. "Hey, are you x-raying me?" She asked, with feigned indignation. My eyes instantly snapped back to meet hers.

"No!" I insisted, as sincerely as I could. "I wouldn't do that, I promise."

"Okay" she answered, with a shy smile. I smiled back at her, and for a moment we got lost together, just staring into each other's eyes. Then I remembered that I was finally allowed to see Emily's tattoo – it was too good an opportunity to miss. I looked down again to her midriff. Still lying back against the bed, Emily reached her hands down to her combats. She popped open the button, slid down the zip, then splayed the top of her trousers open to reveal the smooth skin of her lower stomach. I bit my lip as I took in the sight before me. There in crisp black lines next to her bellybutton was her tattoo. It was a simple, uncoloured flower-head, its leaves and stem twisting down beneath it and curling across her belly. I traced a finger lightly along the lines.

"Jasmine" I said softly, recognising the flower. "That means sensuality." Since Emily didn't correct me, I assumed that she hadn't chosen it because it was the name of a previous girlfriend. Or you know, because she had a thing for Disney's film 'Aladdin'.

"Not many people know that" she told me. Well, useless information like flowers and their meanings was quite the speciality for my mother's home schooling. I also knew well enough that Emily's navel ornament was a birthstone, which meant that she had been born in May. Mum hadn't spent much time on necessary things like Maths and Geography, but we had spent a whole term on birthstones and signs of the zodiac.

"It's beautiful" I whispered as I continued to stroke Emily's skin. I smiled down at her. "You're beautiful" I added. She grinned happily back at me. After a few moments, my eyes were drawn inexorably back to her tattoo. I watched the delicate motion of my fingers as they moved back and forth up the stem, along the petals then back again.

This time as I reached the end of the stem, instead of retracing the same path, my hand glided lower. The top of Emily's black knickers were visible where she had unfastened her combats. Unable to resist, I ran the tip of one finger slowly along them, stroking the soft skin exposed just above the fabric. I heard a gasp from Emily. I eased my finger leisurely across her abdomen from one hip bone to the other. I paused, before sliding my finger back in the opposite direction. This time I stopped right in the centre. I pressed firmly on the elastic, causing her knickers to tug down just a fraction. It wasn't enough to show me anything more, but it was enough to make me long for a time when I could pull those knickers right the way off. Emily gasped again, and my eyes shot straight to meet hers. There was a darkness in them that wasn't there before.

She sat up and pulled me into a passionate kiss, her tongue moving hungrily against mine. Her hands started on my face, but I felt one of them move lower. As Emily squeezed one of my breasts firmly, it was my turn to gasp. The fire that had ignited within me was quickly becoming a raging inferno. My hands were still at her waist, so I decided to move one higher. Feeling particularly brave, I let my fingers stray inside Emily's t-shirt, as my hand moved upwards. It glided over the soft, warm skin of her stomach and up over her ribs. I moaned into the kiss as Emily's thumb rubbed gently against my hardened nipple through the material of my top. I longed to feel her nipples stand to attention due to my touch, and I practically ached to know how her piercing would feel. My fingers slid higher, touching the underside of her bra.

Just as my hand was about to close around my prize, we were interrupted. A light tap on the door was the only advanced warning we had, before Jenna Fitch walked into the room. Emily and I sprang apart, desperately re-adjusting our clothing and trying to appear nonchalant. I don't think either of us carried it off. It was clear that Jenna had been expecting Emily to be alone. Her face displayed a myriad of emotions in rapid succession. First up came surprise, naturally enough. It quickly turned into shock, closely followed by something akin to revulsion. Finally came realisation, which morphed into happiness - with a possible side order of smugness.

"Ultra Woman!" She gasped. "How lovely to see you!" She threw a coy smile at Emily. "You sly thing, Emily! You didn't tell me about this!"

Emily didn't answer. She was busy trying to hide the fact that her trousers were unfastened. She was also trying to keep her tattoo out of her mother's line of vision. Jenna seemed oblivious to our discomposure. She prattled on, not waiting for a response from Emily.

"When I saw you with that _Naomi_ today, I thought… but I knew you had more sense than that!" Emily frowned and looked set to challenge her mother, but she didn't get a chance. "I asked Katie, and she said she lives in Acacia Road?" Jenna shook her head sadly, as though living in Acacia Road was the worst thing she could imagine. I bristled indignantly, but kept my mouth shut.

"What's wrong with that?" Demanded Emily. Her mother just chuckled. Ignoring Emily's question, she turned to address me.

"Well, you really _must_ come to dinner again soon, Ultra Woman. Since you're practically family now, I insist." I flapped my mouth open and shut a couple of times, as I struggled with her logic. She had caught me almost groping her youngest daughter, not on bended knee proposing marriage. How did that make me almost a part of the family? God, if that was the rule I would dread to think how many guys Katie had made 'practically family'.

Jenna continued to stare at me, awaiting a response. Despite her outward display of happiness at finding me in a compromising position with Emily, I was still mistrustful. I was braced for some sort of explosion from her.

"That would be enchanting" I found myself answering. "Truly delightful." What the actual fuck? Somehow my nervousness around Jenna has led to my vocabulary getting stuck in an Austen novel. I glanced at Emily to see her trying hard to stifle some giggles. Jenna beamed happily at me.

"Wednesday" she said firmly. "I won't take no for an answer." She looked like she literally _wouldn't_ take no for an answer. I found myself giving a little nod. At last, Emily seemed to find her voice.

"Mum, would you mind leaving us alone please? We were kind of in the middle of something." Jenna smiled knowingly at her, causing Emily to flush bright red.

"Of course! Silly me. I'll leave you two ladies alone now." Jenna gave a wink – something she clearly wasn't in the habit of doing, because it made her look like she had a nervous twitch. She turned to go, but paused in the doorway. "I'll loan you my CD if you like? Celine Dion's Greatest Hits is wonderful mood music."

"No!" Snapped Emily. Jenna finally left the room, closing the door behind her.

We both sat in silence for a few moments. Eventually, Emily spoke.

"You know she's just a friend, right?"

"Huh?" Unclear of what she was talking about, I just stared at her. Emily smiled at me as she explained.

"Naomi. She was here today with Effy, but we're just friends."

"Oh, yeah. Right, I know" I stammered out.

"She was quite funny actually…" started Emily with a giggle.

"Let's not talk about her right now" I said gently. I had no intention of hearing about my embarrassing afternoon in the form of an anecdote. Emily sighed and looked at the door Jenna left through.

"I guess my mother completely ruined the mood, huh?" I nodded.

"Yes, even without Celine's help." We both burst into a fit of giggles.

"God, how mortifying was that!" Said Emily. "I almost wished she'd just hit the roof, like I expected her to."

We stared at each other as an awkward silence arose between us. I was thinking about how heated things had gotten between us before Jenna arrived, and I suspected that Emily's thoughts were of a similar nature. I had loved it, but there was also the feeling that things had moved a little too quickly. Much as I longed to be more intimate with Emily, I also felt that it would be wise to take things slower. There was still an invisible barrier between us, and until I'm able to share my secrets with her, that barrier would remain.

"I'd better go" I said softly. I was loath to tear myself away, but it seemed for the best. I rose from the bed and straightened out my clothing. Emily nodded her agreement.

"Okay. Will I see you before Wednesday?" I frowned at her. Did we have plans for Wednesday? She grinned at me. "Unless I'm very much mistaken, you just agreed to come to a Fitch family dinner on Wednesday night!"

Jesus fucking Christ! I did, didn't I?

Emily and I arranged to go out on Monday night, then I left the same way I arrived. I went straight home. I crept into the kitchen, hoping to have a few minutes to myself before I rejoined the others. But as I walked in, I realised that my mother was sat alone at the kitchen table. The sound of voices travelled through from the other room, telling me that the Stonems were still there.

"Are you okay, mum?" I asked. She looked up and smiled at me as I spoke.

"Yes dear, of course." I pulled out a chair and sat down next to her. "How's Emily?" Unbelievable! How the hell did she know that I'd just seen Emily? As though knowing what I was thinking, mum chuckled. "Naomi love, it's written all over your face whenever you've spent time with her." I chuckled along with her.

"She's fine. She's…" I let a soft sigh escape. "…mum, I _really_ like her."

"I know you do! She must really like you too."

I grinned at her.

"Yeah, she certainly seems to. It's going really great. We've only been out a couple of times, but we talk a lot, and we text each other all the time. She's texting Naomi a lot, too."

Mum shook her head sadly.

"Oh dear. I was afraid of this." I frowned at her, waiting for her to explain. "Naomi love, you just referred to yourself in the third person. All this deception's not good for you." I shrugged, and stared down at the table in front of us.

"I don't _want_ to lie to her. I wish I could tell her everything, but it's complicated right now." I took a deep breath, before asking mum something that I had been worrying about for a while. "Mum, does everyone think… I mean, you don't all think that Emily's involved in whatever her parents are up to, do you?" There was a nagging thought at the back of my mind that that's what the topic of conversation had been as soon as I had left. I didn't suspect Emily at all, but I didn't like the idea that the others did. Mum shook her head.

"No love." She didn't sound very convincing. I stared at her, silently requesting the truth. "Well, Anthea voiced it as a possibility. And Effy said that it had crossed her mind. But I feel sure that she's not involved. She's such a sweet, lovely girl, I can't believe she would be behind those fires." Her chair scraped across the floor as she rose to her feet. She headed back towards the sitting room, but paused in the doorway to say one more thing. "I don't think you need to worry about Emily, but as long as you stay well clear of Mr and Mrs Fitch, I'll be all the happier."

As mum disappeared into the other room, I let my head slump forward onto the table. How the fuck was I supposed to tell her that I'd agreed to spend a whole evening in the Fitches company?

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><p><strong>Hope you liked that!<strong>

**I performed a show for a New Year's Eve party last night, and I did a little bit of magic to music. The song I used was You Make Loving Fun, which of course made me think of my other fic. I will be updating that one soon.**

**All the best for 2012!**


	13. Chapter 13

**So I am pretty chuffed that this chapter has a little quote from The New Adventures Of Superman in it. Top marks to anyone who spots it, although maybe its just me that's sad enough to know quotes from that show. I haven't even seen it in years, I just have a memory that can remember lots of useless bits of random information, but can't always remember when I should have lunch.**

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><p>I stretched back across the grass, enjoying the serenity of the park. It was a hot Tuesday afternoon, so I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun's rays on my face.<p>

After a few minutes, I felt a shadow fall across me.

"You're late" I said with a grin, before opening my eyes.

"How did you know it was me?" Asked Emily, as she sat down on the grass beside me. I sat up as well, and Emily immediately pulled me into a hug. 'She thinks we're just friends' I had to remind myself. 'Don't kiss her, for God's sake'.

"Just a guess" I muttered hastily, as Emily let me go. Fortunately, she didn't question it any further. In reality, I had known it was her from the second she entered the park. I caught a waft of the perfume she usually wears on the breeze. I recognised the sound of her steps as she walked along the path. She cleared her throat about thirty meters from me, and I could identify her from the noise. I'm starting to sound all stalkery again, aren't I?

Emily had texted me earlier to suggest that we meet up in the park for lunch. Fitch Corp headquarters was just around the corner, and Emily told me that she often took a walk through the park in her lunch break. She took a sandwich from a paper bag, before offering the bag to me. I took out the sandwich she had got me.

"Aren't you warm like that?" Asked Emily, gesturing at the thin jumper and the jeans I had on. As usual, I couldn't dress for the season because I couldn't wear anything that might show a hint of my costume underneath. Luckily, I don't feel extremes of temperatures the way humans do.

"I have poor circulation" I said. Emily nodded, then quickly changed the subject.

"Guess who had another date with Ultra Woman last night?" She asked, her eyes alight with excitement. I grinned happily at her, as the memories of our lovely date last night flitted back into my mind.

"Did you have a nice time?" I asked. Emily nodded immediately.

"It was great." She launched into a description of our evening, detailing several things that I had done that she thought were particularly sweet or thoughtful. She spoke in such glowing terms of our date that each sentence made me happier and happier.

"I'm glad you had such a lovely time" I said sincerely, once Emily had finished. She stared thoughtfully at me.

"You seem pretty happy, too" she said suddenly. I shrugged.

"It's a nice day, you're happy…" Emily grinned broadly at me.

"Naoms, are you holding out on me?" I was so surprised at the casual way she shortened my name that I just stared at her. Emily chuckled. "You've met someone, haven't you?" I sat in silence for a moment as I wondered how best to respond to that. In reality, I _have_ met someone - her. Perhaps it would just be simpler to admit that, rather than lie to Emily. Unfortunately before I could make a decision, Emily took my silence as confirmation. "You have! Naomi, that's great!" She gave my knee a playful slap. "You should have told me."

"Well its early days…" I muttered vaguely.

"So what's she called?" Emily looked expectantly at me. I swallowed, nervously.

"Em…" Fuck, that's no good. I can hardly tell her that my girlfriend also happens to be called Emily! So much for not lying to her. Hastily, I tried to think of another name. "Ka…" Shit! The second name to spring to mind was Katie, which is no good either. Emily frowned at me.

"Emka?" She said the name slowly, as though testing out how it sounded. "Is that…" Made up? Yes, absolutely. There's no way she's going to believe that it's a real name. "…_Scandinavian_?"

"Yes!" I said quickly, relieved that she had accepted it. "Yes, Emka. She's Swedish." Emily grinned happily at me.

"So tell me about her!" Oh fuck. Spontaneous lying – this is much more Effy's field of expertise than mine. Okay, what do I know about Sweden?

"Well, she's an exchange student. She's tall, she's a natural blonde…" I found myself getting in deeper and deeper as I described several details of my fictitious girlfriend to Emily. Eventually, I decided to stay on safer territory and stick to the things that are true, but won't give her identity away. "She's lovely" I said with a smile. "She's really passionate about the things she cares about. Whenever I'm with her I just feel like a kid again, you know? All excited and optimistic about everything. There's something really special about her." My sentence ground to a halt as I realised that Emily was staring down at the ground between us. "Emily?" She looked up at me.

"That's great" she said quickly. Perhaps a little too quickly. "I'm glad you've found someone." She smiled, but I could see that it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"What about you and Ultra Woman?" I asked, feeling suddenly unsure of myself. Emily's smile moved up a gear, and this time her eyes lit up.

"Yeah, I feel like that about her" she answered. "She really is amazing." I watched her expression closely to see if she was being sincere. As far as I could tell, she was. So had I imagined what I thought I had seen? I couldn't be sure.

I managed to avoid any more talk about Emka for the rest of our lunch. I really didn't want to get into any more lies with Emily, and as luck would have it, she didn't seem keen to ask any more questions about her. Instead we just chatted and laughed about other more general topics.

Soon, Emily had to return to work. She stood up, then held out her hand to me. I took it, and let her haul me to my feet. As we moved towards the exit of the park, we saw none other than Cook making his way along the path. I gaped at him. What the fuck was he doing here? He gave us his usual broad smile when he saw us.

"Ah, love is all around. You two make a cute couple." At his words, Emily dropped my hand. I hadn't even realised that she was still holding it.

"I thought you were under arrest" I blurted out without even thinking. Emily stared at me in confusion.

"What?" Great!

"Er, Ultra Woman told Effy something…"

"A case of mistaken identity" said Cook, spreading his arms wide. "I'm an innocent man, me." I snorted at that. Cook grinned at me. "Ultra Woman's got it in for me. She's… whatcha call it. She's prosecuting me."

"Persecuting you" said Emily dryly.

"That too" added Cook. "She can't handle her attraction to me, so she's harassing me."

"Trust me Cook, you're not her type" I told him. Cook carried on, undaunted.

"She's gagging for me. She wants to get her hands all over my cookies, you know what I'm saying?" Okay, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit there.

"Cook, we always know what you're saying" said Emily in a bored tone. "But you have exactly zero chance of going to bed with Ultra Woman." Cook grinned and shook his head.

"Nah, I'm telling you, she was proper flirting with me. She told me she wants me to staple my tongue to a cement mixer, and stand on her… wait, that wasn't it." He frowned with the effort of remembering.

"That wasn't what I…" ah, shit! I cleared my throat awkwardly to try and disguise my mistake. "…er, that wasn't what I heard from Effy." Nice recovery, not too bad at all.

"Anyway, it was all a case of mistaken identity, and I was released without charge" insisted Cook. "Now I've got to see a man about a dog, so I'll see you two muff monkeys later." With that, he sauntered away from us. Emily turned to me with a frown on her face.

"What did Ultra Woman arrest him for?"

"I'm not sure of the details" I said, unable to look her in the eye. I hated adding more lies to my rapidly increasing stock of them, but I didn't really have a choice. I could hardly tell Emily that we suspected her parents of being criminals. Not without more information, at least.

With a quick glance to her watch, Emily noticed that she would have to leave.

"I'll text you soon, okay?" She said, pulling me into a hug. She pressed her lips firmly to my cheek. I was a little stunned, as this was the most affection that she had shown so far to me as myself. As she pulled back from me, she seemed to hesitate, before looking down at the ground in obvious confusion.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Her behaviour had me baffled. Emily nodded, and looked up at me with a smile.

"Yeah, of course. So when do I get to meet Emka?"

Hmm, let me think. How about… never?

"Er, I think…"

"We should go on a double-date sometime, right?"

"A double-date?" I asked with a frown. Emily chuckled at my bewilderment.

"Yeah, you and Emka, and me and Ultra Woman. It'll be fun."

"Right." I found myself nodding far more than necessary. "Right. Yeah, maybe. That sounds… fun."

"Okay. I've got to run. See you Naoms." With a hasty wave, Emily turned and headed for the park exit. I was left standing in her wake, wondering where I was supposed to acquire a six-foot tall, blonde Swede called Emka at short notice. Still, I reasoned: maybe I didn't have to worry about that double-date. Emily still had to ask Ultra Woman, and perhaps she wouldn't even go for the idea.

Oh my God, what the fuck am I saying! Mum was definitely right: all this deception is not good for my mental well-being!

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><p>Later, I was telling Effy about the latest mess that I had got myself into with Emily. We were sat on the sofa in her front room. There was a computer in the same room, and Anthea was sat typing at it. Effy was offering me words of comfort and support. Okay that's not true, she was laughing hysterically at my misfortune.<p>

"So she's a tall, naturally blonde Swede, who came here as an exchange student? Naomi, could you fit any more stereotypes in there?"

"It's not funny" I snapped. Effy nodded.

"It is, Naomi. I'm surprised you didn't say she was in an ABBA tribute band!" She burst into further fits of laughter, before catching sight of my rather chagrined expression. "Oh my God, you didn't, did you?" She stared at me with an eyebrow raised in query.

"No!" I said firmly. "No, of course not! Give me _some_ credit!" Effy continued to stare at me. I relented. "It was a Roxette tribute band" I admitted, glumly. Effy sniggered.

"And now Emily wants to go on a double-date with you?" I nodded. "Well that would make for a fun evening. Emka doesn't even exist, and you and Ultra Woman are both the same person!"

"What's so funny?" Asked Tony as he walked into the room. Effy opened her mouth to tell him, but I had no intention of having him teasing me as well.

"Nothing" I said, throwing a meaningful glare in Effy's direction. There was no way I wanted Tony laughing at me about this, as well. "I saw Cook" I said, hoping to change the subject. It worked.

"He must have made bail then" answered Effy. I shook my head.

"He said he wasn't charged with anything. He could be lying of course."

"I'll look into it" said Tony with a nod. "I've got a friend in the police force so I'll ask him to check what happened. I'll see what he knows about these fires as well."

"Thanks Tony." I smiled gratefully at him. His friend in the force had proven a useful source of information at times. Although how Sid Jenkins ever got accepted into the police, I will never know.

"Is cunt-fuck hyphenated?" Asked Anthea, frowning at her computer monitor. Effy told her that it was, and she resumed her typing.

"I've been looking into the Fitches" said Effy. "I've been seeing what I can find out about their business dealings."

"How's that going?" I asked. Effy sighed.

"Slowly. Stuff like that is all a matter of public records these days, but it's still difficult to find it all. They seem intent on making things as obtuse as possible."

"Well, keep going if you can" I asked. It would certainly be useful to know more than just the public version of the Fitch Enterprise. "And see what you can find out about Smith Holdings" I added, remembering the name that I had seen on the file in the mayor's office. "And we should try to find out if the other places that were burned have been put up for sale."

"I can do that" said Anthea. "I'm nearly finished here." She gestured at the computer. "Is mother-fucking-tit-wanker spelled with a 'k'?"

"Yes" answered Effy. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just answering some of Ultra Woman's fan-mail. Anyway, what do you want me to research?"

Effy and I explained what information we needed, and Anthea set about finding out what she could on the internet.

"That's great" I said, smiling happily around at the Stonems. "Mum and Kieran are trying to track my dad down, so everyone's in research mode."

"Promise me one thing?" Asked Effy. I nodded. "Don't _ever_ refer to us as your 'Scooby Gang'."

"Okay" I agreed. I grinned as an alternative name sprang to mind. "How about the 'Ultrettes'?" I asked. Effy rolled her eyes at me.

"That sounds like a brand of tampons."

* * *

><p>The following evening I went as planned to Robenna Mansion for my dinner with the Fitches. The others had spent the last hour each bestowing little snippets of advice to me, and warning me to be careful around Rob and Jenna, that I was practically a nervous wreck by the time I got there. With shaking fingers, I rang the bell. I was very relieved when Emily answered the door. With a warm smile, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the house. It must be a less formal dinner this time, because Emily was wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt. As the front door closed, I found myself pushed back against it. Emily's lips sought mine with an eager kiss. I opened an eye and glanced over her shoulder. I was relieved to see that the hall behind her was empty of people.<p>

"Why do I feel like I don't have your full attention?" Muttered Emily as she pulled back from me. Somehow, it didn't feel prudent to tell Emily my real fears. Instead, I opted for just a small part of the truth. I gave her a nervous grin.

"This is all new for me" I said with a shrug. Emily looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"You've had dinner here before." I slid my arms around her waist and pulled her towards me for a hug.

"Yes, but we weren't dating then. For all I've met them, this feels like a 'meet the parents' thing." Emily's eyes darted away from mine.

"I'm sorry, is it too soon for that?" I could hear the disappointment in her voice, and wished desperately to make it go away.

"Emily, look at me." I waited until Emily raised her eyes back to my face, then gave her a soft smile. "I'm absolutely crazy about you, okay?" I said earnestly. Emily grinned at me words. "I'm just nervous because I want to make a good impression, that's all." Emily pecked her lips swiftly to mine, before taking my hands with both of hers.

"You don't have to worry. Mum and dad already think you're brilliant, so you're onto a winner." I knew her words were intended to sooth me, but they only reminded me of what I had overheard Jenna saying about getting me 'onside'. "Besides, this is new territory for me too" continued Emily. "I've never been able to invite a girlfriend round for dinner before." I smiled at the casual way that Emily referred to me as her girlfriend. She turned to lead me through the hallway, but stopped abruptly after only a couple of steps. She turned back to face me. "And for the record, I'm crazy about you, too." With that, she led the way along the hallway. I followed after her, grinning from ear to ear.

Before we had gone much further, a door opened and Jenna emerged. She was closely followed by Harriet the mayor. I frowned slightly, as I knew that the door they came through led down to the basement. I could hardly imagine the two of them casually shooting some snooker.

"Ultra Woman!" They both gushed in unison. Emily winked cheekily at me as the two women made an almighty fuss over my presence.

"Don't they make an adorable couple?" Said Jenna, gesturing between me and Emily.

"Simply adorable" cooed Harriet.

"I was so sure that they would hit it off" insisted Jenna, as though she was single-handedly responsible for us getting together. "But are you sure you won't stay for dinner?" She asked, suddenly switching her attention back to the mayor. Sensing an opportunity to make our escape, Emily grabbed my hand and led me through to the sitting room. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that only Katie was present. She looked up at us as we walked in.

"That was a near thing" she said with a grin. "I almost dressed like a six foot dildo too. I just changed my mind at the last minute."

"Katie!" Snapped Emily. Katie frowned at her sister.

"What? I'm just being friendly!"

I chuckled, and waved away Emily's concerns about her sister's behaviour. I liked Katie's straight-talking frankness, and it was always delivered with good humour.

* * *

><p>Dinner passed by fairly innocuously. I had one flash of panic that the food might be poisoned, but then I realised that I was just being silly. Harriet didn't stay, so it was just me and the Fitch family. This time I was placed in the seat next to Emily at the dinner table. In between courses, her hand found its way under the table to rest reassuringly on my leg. Whenever it did so, I placed my own hand on top of hers. There was something so deliciously juvenile about us holding hands under the table like that.<p>

After dinner, Jenna suggested in a very meaningful tone of voice that we might like to 'retire' to Emily's room. Eager to have some alone time, we both quickly agreed. Emily led the way upstairs, then took me by the hand as we walked along the corridor to her bedroom. As we went through the door, I realised this was the first time I'd entered Emily's room that way, instead of by the window.

She walked over to the bed and we both sat down on it. Glad that we were finally alone, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. I pressed my lips against Emily's in a soft, sensual kiss. I reached a hand up to stroke her face, but I couldn't shake the feeling that Emily's mind was elsewhere. I opened my eyes and saw her glancing over to her bedside table.

"Why do I feel like I don't have your full attention?" I asked with a grin, mimicking Emily's earlier words. She smiled in response.

"Sorry" she said with a shake of her head. She reached to the bedside table for her phone, and clicked a few buttons on it. "I texted Naomi earlier, but she hasn't got back to me yet." Emily tossed her phone casually aside. "Sorry, I shouldn't be talking about her." She looked at me with a definite twinkle in her eye. "Not when I've finally got you all to myself." She surged forward and kissed me. I felt her tongue pressing against my lips almost immediately, so I quickly responded. Emily gave a low moan that sounded so full of want. It made my heart quicken its pace. We sank as one onto the bed, until we were lying in a passionate embrace. Our hands began to explore one another's bodies, while we continued our breathless kisses. I moaned as Emily slipped one hand inside my top, and scratched her fingernails along my stomach.

"Can I see your tattoo again?" I asked, unable to forget the memory of Emily's ink. She nodded. I shifted our positions slightly, until she was lying on her back. With deft fingers, I quickly loosened the bottom couple of buttons on Emily's shirt. I parted the material to see the ink below. That was all I needed to open to see the tattoo, but I couldn't resist popping open another couple of buttons. I caught a tantalising hint of a black bra underneath. I looked back to Emily's face, to see her staring at me with a lustful gaze. I arched an eyebrow at her and she nodded, giving me permission. I unfastened the remaining buttons, and spread Emily's shirt open.

I pressed a hot kiss to the base of her neck. I could hear that her heart-beat was going crazy. I continued to press my lips to the top of her chest, kissing the skin along the top of her bra. Then I kissed my way down between her breasts, heading towards her stomach. As I gently licked her tattoo, Emily's hands tangled convulsively in my hair. Sensing that I had found a sensitive area, I continued to kiss and lick Emily's midriff. I stretched one hand up to squeeze her breast through her bra. She gasped, and arched up into my touch. Encouraged by her reaction, I popped open the button of her jeans with my free hand. I kissed further down her stomach until I found myself at the top of her knickers. I looked up into Emily's eyes. They were dark, and filled with desire. But there was also something else there - a faint hint of uncertainty. Realising in a flash that things were moving very rapidly again, I stopped what I was doing. I crawled my way back up Emily's body, until my face was level with hers.

"Maybe we should slow things down a bit" I suggested. Emily seemed relieved, and gave a small nod. Before we could say anything more, we were interrupted by a beep from Emily's phone. She grabbed for it straight away.

"That's probably Naomi" she muttered as she brought up the message. It better bloody not be, otherwise I'll be having very strong words with my mother when I get home! Emily sighed in frustration at her phone. "It's just Panda" she told me as she cast her phone aside. "Naomi's probably out with the wonderful _Emka_ tonight." It might have been my imagination, but I felt sure there was a hint of surliness in her voice when she said 'Emka'. Shit, does she realise that I made that up? I looked at Emily and tried to read her expression, but I couldn't. She seemed to be annoyed about something, but I couldn't be certain. She gave a gentle shake of her head, and her mood seemed to lift. She looked up at me with a coy smile. "Now where were we?"

"Well, we…" The remainder of my sentence dissolved into a squeak of surprise. With a swift movement, Emily switched our positions so that she was now on top of me. She cast off her shirt before moving down to meet me. She kissed me with a passionate ferocity, her tongue delving hungrily against my own. Her hands squeezed my tits, before moving downwards. They tugged my top up, as Emily slid down to press hot, fervent kisses to my abdomen. It was my turn to moan, as Emily's hands continued to move upwards, raising my top as they did so. "Emily" I groaned, wondering where her earlier uncertainty had vanished to.

Suddenly, my phone rang loudly, startling us both. I snatched it from my pocket and glared at the display.

"It's Effy" I hissed, cancelling the call and dropping my phone onto the bed. Emily immediately returned her attention to my stomach. She peppered it with more kisses, before gazing up at me with a lusty grin.

"I remember you once promised to show me what's _underneath_ your costume" she murmured, moving again to tug my top up. Her words snapped me out of some kind of daze. I had said that because I wanted her to get to know the real me. How could I be truly intimate with her, when I haven't even been honest with her?

Emily sat back on her calves, straddling my lap. She reached behind her to undo her bra. Holy fuck, I'm about to see that piercing! Shit, Naomi! Where the hell is your morality?

"Emily stop" I groaned. Hey, how about a bit of credit please? I didn't even know I had that much self-control. I reached out my hands to stop what Emily was doing. Only problem was that I ended up accidentally placing both my hands on Emily's tits.

Okay, perhaps it wasn't exactly an accident in the truest sense of the word.

Emily looked down at me with a frown.

"Don't you want me?" She asked, her voice full of uncertainty. I removed my hands and tried my best to sit up. Emily shifted her position to allow me to move.

"God yes!" I told her. "Emily, I've never wanted anyone as much as this!" With a grin, she moved forward and pressed her lips firmly to mine. Summoning up that detested will-power once more, I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back. "There are some things you don't know about me" I muttered.

My phone sprang into life again.

"Shit!" I shouted as I snatched it up. "Piss off, Effy!" I growled as I cancelled her call once more. For good measure, I switched my phone off. Emily sighed.

"I know I don't know everything about you. I understand that." As I gazed into her mesmerizing brown eyes, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Apart from the obvious, that is - which I definitely want to do as well, and hopefully in the very near future.

"Emily, I want to tell you everything." Emily stared appraisingly at me for a moment or two.

"Are you sure you're ready to?" She asked gently. I adored her for how patient she had been from the start about my secrets, and even now, she still didn't want to push.

"I'm ready" I told her, with more certainty than I had ever felt about anything before. Emily smiled, before reaching to retrieve her top from the floor. I straightened out my own dishevelled attire. I couldn't help watching Emily as she slipped her shirt back on and buttoned it closed. Then I took her hand with mine. She gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Okay. I hope you'll understand why I couldn't tell you sooner." I took a deep breath and braced myself for what was to come. "Right, you know your friend Naomi…"

The door burst open. For Christ sake, doesn't anyone understand privacy in this bloody house? Katie walked in with her hand raised in front of her eyes.

"Sorry to interrupt your…" she peered cautiously through her fingers and frowned when she saw our joined hands. "…er, _handshake_, but I've just had Effy on the phone." I rolled my eyes and made a mental note to kill Effy once I got home. What the hell can be so urgent that she has to interrupt my night with Emily? Katie continued. "She said I'm to tell you: stop shagging Emily, and answer your fucking phone, you big pink sack of shit. Her words." Katie span on her heels and started walking towards the door. Before she left, she turned back around. "Oh, and tell Effy that I'm not a fucking messaging service!" With that, she flounced out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Emily and I stared awkwardly at each other, after the whirlwind that was Katie Fitch had left.

"I'd better see what Effy wants" I said glumly, as I switched my phone on. I waited for it to power up, then dialled her number straight away.

"Finally!" Huffed Effy as she answered.

"Effy, what the fuck…" She cut bluntly across my sentence.

"Have you told her anything yet?"

"What?" I frowned into my phone, wondering what the fuck was up with her.

"Have you told Emily anything about yourself yet?" She asked harshly.

"No. Actually, I was just about to…"

"Don't. Don't say anything. Come home right now." This was so unlike Effy, but I still wasn't going to give in without a fight.

"No! Effy, I'm in the middle of something…"

The next words she said were spoken with such an urgent tone.

"Come home. I'm _really_ not joking about this. Come home. NOW!"

* * *

><p><strong>To any Swedish readers, I hope you didn't take offense at that bit! The jokes were not aimed at Swedes, but were intended to be about stereotypes. They came to me when I was talking with Missmaraudeur about stereotypes. She's canadian. Did you know that her best friend is a beaver?<strong>

**Obviously, I'm kidding. Its actually a moose.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Its pretty late here in England, but you have my recurring insomnia to thank for this posting.**

**Top marks go out to anonymous reviewer 'D', for getting the Lois & Clark reference in the last chapter. I was really surprised that anyone got it! Watch out for another couple coming up. One probably in the next chapter after this one, and one probably in the chapter after that.**

**We've had a couple of Fitch puns already, and there is another one for you in this chapter. I mentioned it to Lazyboo a while back, and she persuaded me to find a use for it. I also have another one to use a bit later in the story. I am after all, a children's entertainer. Bad puns just go with the territory!**

* * *

><p>I made my excuses to Emily, left the Fitch estate as quickly as I could, and flew straight home. I knew Effy would be at my house and not her own. Whenever we all had something important to discuss, our place was always the meeting spot. Sure enough, as I entered the front room I found everyone already assembled and waiting for my arrival. An array of anxious faces looked up at me as I walked in. I sought out the one face that I was looking for.<p>

"This better be good" I said sternly to Effy.

"Why, were you about to get your end away?" She asked sarcastically. I stared firmly back at her. "Or were you about to share the biggest secret you have with some girl you hardly know?" I flushed and looked down at the floor. How the fuck Effy always seems to know exactly what's going on, I will never work out.

"I _do_ know her" I insisted. Effy snorted.

"So she's told you all about Smith Holdings then?" My eyes snapped up instantly to meet hers. Effy could read the surprise and confusion in them. "Thought not."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Naomi, come and sit down, love" said mum gently, patting the sofa beside her. Effy crossed her arms and nodded at the sofa. Seeing that she wasn't about to say anything more until I had complied, I quickly sat down.

"You were right" began Effy, once I was seated. "Smith Holdings is the company that's buying the soup kitchen."

"What's it got to do with Emily?" I asked sharply.

"As far as I can tell, Smith Holdings is a small, subsidiary company of Fitch Corp, and Emily is listed as the Managing Director."

"No." I shook my head firmly. Effy must have made a mistake, but she insisted that she had double-checked her facts. "Right, then she's buying the building in order to save the soup kitchen" I said, more in hope than anything else. Effy shook her head.

"Then why didn't she tell anyone that, when they found out that the place was going to be sold?"

"And why has the same company put bids in to buy the other companies that were targeted by the arsonist?" Added Anthea. "And why try to disguise the company's ownership by calling it 'Smith Holdings'?" She had a point there - that did seem very suspicious. But I know Emily – she really cares about the soup kitchen, she couldn't be involved in this.

"Emily was a volunteer at the soup kitchen. How could she…" Effy didn't let me finish my sentence.

"Maybe that's why she volunteered there. Perhaps she was the one to set the fire in the first place. Wasn't she missing when the fire began?" I opened my mouth to argue against that, but I quickly closed it again. I couldn't clearly remember all of the details of that night, but I did remember having to go looking for Emily. That hardly made her an arsonist though.

I saw something sailing across the room towards me, and reached out to snatch it from the air. It was the remote control for the TV. I set it down on the coffee table.

"Tony, this isn't the time to test my reflexes!" I growled. He had the decency to look mildly abashed.

"Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood a bit."

I sighed, and turned my attention back to Effy.

"Whatever's going on, Jenna's behind it all, not Emily" I insisted.

"I agree that Jenna's probably in charge" said Effy firmly. "But it looks like Emily is involved as well. Probably the whole family, in fact."

I sighed, and shook my head, trying to rid it of the confusion clouding my mind. It didn't work. I stared firmly around the room at everyone assembled.

"Start from the beginning. Tell me everything that we know so far." The others all exchanged glances, deciding who should go first. Since Effy already had the floor, she seemed to be acting as chair-woman.

"Tony?" She said, nodding at her brother. All eyes in the room stared at Tony.

"I spoke to Sid" he began, slowly. "He's not been assigned to the fires, but he tried to find out about the investigation. As far as he can see, there isn't much of an investigation. There haven't even been any proper forensic reports."

"What about Cook?" I asked.

"He was released without charge. There was no evidence to hold him apparently, but Sid says it all seems very suspicious."

"I'll say!" I exclaimed. "He was covered in petrol!" Tony shook his head.

"They never found any trace of it. At least, that's what they claim." I sighed and closed my eyes. It seemed like we were looking at police corruption, along with everything else. And that sort of thing takes money - lots of it. The sort of money that the Fitch family have.

After a moment, Effy took up the tale.

"Smith Holdings is buying the soup kitchen for a paltry amount of money. The paperwork refers to the building as if it's just a burnt-out shell." She paused, and looked around at the assembled group. I wished she would just get on with it – this wasn't the time for added drama. "I think the fires have been set to drive the price of the land down. The buildings hit recently are all fairly close together. The Fitches want a big plot of land for some reason."

"Any idea what?" Asked Kieran. Effy shook her head.

"Not yet. I've been looking into the Fitches background and there are no clues so far. But I don't think they're the hard-working, self-made couple they pretend to be."

"What have you found?" I asked.

"Nothing" said Effy simply. As I frowned at her, she elaborated. "What I mean is that I should be able to trace where their money has come from, but I can't. Years ago they ran a gym, which ended up going under. After that, they set up a wedding planning company called 'Let's Get Fitched'. They did that for a few years, then set themselves up as marriage guidance councillors." Despite the seriousness of the situation, I found myself giving a snort of laughter. Somehow, the idea of Jenna and Rob giving other couples advice on their relationships seemed a bit ridiculous. I had a suspicion that Celine Dion CD's would feature prominently in their advice. Effy grinned at me. "They called themselves 'Seven Year Fitch'" She added. My snort of laughter became a definite giggle.

"What is it about those Fitches and their name?" I asked with a shrug. After a pause, Effy continued.

"They've had a series of different businesses over the years. None of them did very well, yet now they're millionaires. It doesn't make sense. I think they've earned their fortune through _criminal_ activities."

I nodded softly, as I took it all in.

"We need to know what they want that land for" said Tony.

"Jenna and the mayor seem pretty tight" I answered, still desperate for this all to be Jenna's doing. "It's probably got something to do with the council."

"I'll continue digging" said Effy. "I'll see what more I can find out, but in the meantime, you need to stay away from the Fitches. _All_ of them."

"Effy, I can't do that!" I snapped. "I know that Emily's not involved. She _can't_ be!"

"Naomi, you have to be careful" argued mum. "Clearly the Fitches have something in their house that can take away your strength."

"I'm fine!" I whined. "I've been there all evening, and I've felt okay. No loss of power."

"This time, but what about last time?" Seeing that I was about to argue further, mum sighed and shook her head. "I know you want to believe that Emily's not involved. I do too, but until we know for certain, you have to stay away from her."

"But I can't!" I growled, rising to my feet. "I can't just stay away from her!"

"Why not?" Asked Anthea sharply. I sighed, and rubbed the palms of my hands against my face.

"Because I'm in love with her" I said softly. Unable to deal with everything all at once, I stormed from the room, slamming the door shut behind me. I ran upstairs to the sanctuary of my own room. I tugged my super-suit off, and threw on a pair of comfy pyjamas, before flopping down onto my bed. No one from downstairs followed after me. Mum must have told them all to give me some space to think it all through. Which is exactly what I was doing - how could I think of anything else?

My phone beeped, and I snatched it up from where it had fallen on the floor when I got changed. It was a message from Emily.

**Hi, hope everything is ok? Sorry you had to leave early.**

**Emily**

**X**

I smiled to myself, and traced my finger over the message, paying particular attention to the name and the kiss. Emily seemed like such a wonderful, caring person. There was no way I could believe that she was involved in whatever her parents were up to.

But was I letting my feelings for her cloud my judgement? I let my mind wander back over the confession that I had just made downstairs. The words had surprised me more than anyone else, but as I thought about them, I knew they were true. I've fallen head-over-heels in love with Emily. I had been ready to share my deepest secrets with her, and it had felt completely right at the time. But what if Effy was right, and she had stopped me from making a huge mistake?

I didn't reply to Emily's text. Instead I just lay on my bed, reliving all the time that I had spent with her as Ultra Woman. Eventually, I fell into a fitful sleep, my head full of dreams of that beautiful red-head.

* * *

><p>The following morning, I woke feeling even more confused than before. I was still ready to accept any slight premise that could explain Emily's actions innocently, but none presented themselves to my tired brain. I found myself doubting if she really was as innocent as I had proclaimed the night before. Perhaps mum had a point – maybe I should avoid Emily until we have more information. An action made all the harder by the fact that she is constantly in my thoughts.<p>

I checked my phone and saw that I had two further messages from Emily, both asking if everything was okay. I sighed to myself and switched my phone off without replying. As I did so, my intestines tied themselves into a big knot of tension. Pushing my worries to the back of my mind, I got dressed and headed down to the kitchen.

Mum was in there, bustling about making breakfast. I pulled a chair out from the table and slumped down into it. Mum placed a freshly poured cup of coffee on the table in front of me. I snatched it up and gulped half of it down in one go. I glanced up and saw that mum was watching me intently from the corner of her eye.

"What?" I asked harshly.

"You've had a text from Emily" she said gently, placing her phone down on the table. "And a one last night." I pushed the phone away from me. Mum gave me a sad smile.

Just then, the phone burst into life. It rang out into the quiet kitchen, startling us both. My first thought was that it was Emily ringing to speak to me, but it was an unknown number. Mum answered it with a slight frown on her face. There was a magazine on the table that I pulled towards me and started to flick through. I didn't catch any of mum's conversation, until I realised that it seemed to be something important. After hunting around for a pen and paper, mum wrote something down. I looked over her shoulder and saw that it was an address.

"Well thanks for getting back to me, Paul. I appreciate that. Bye now." Mum dropped the phone back onto the table and picked up the address that she had written down. "That was an old friend of your fathers" she told me. "And he's just given me your father's address. He's moved back up north."

"Right, well let's go pay the little prick a visit" I said, rising to my feet. Mum shook her head.

"If I know your father, there's no point going to see him now. He's not a morning person. We'll get no sense out of him before midday."

* * *

><p>That evening, mum and I head off to visit Alan, the man mum still referred to as my father. We had decided that it would make more sense to go once it was dark. I changed into my super-suit, held tightly onto mum, and we made the flight all the way to Newcastle.<p>

We soon found the address we were after. He was on the top floor of a rather shabby-looking block of flats. We made our way up the stairs and paused outside of his door.

"So how are we going to do this?" I asked mum. She looked at me with a frown. "He's not just going to tell us what we want, we're going to have to wheedle it out of him. How about the old good cop, bad cop routine?" Mum nodded.

"Good idea." She narrowed her eyes, and pursed her lips together.

"Mum, what are you doing?" I asked, bewildered.

"I'm practicing my stern face." I sighed, and reigned in the urge to roll my eyes at her.

"I though _I_ would be the bad cop. You know, since I'm the one that could actually rip him limb from limb if I wanted to?"

"Yeah, that could work."

"Just forget it" I answered with a sigh. "We'll just try to wing it, okay?" Mum nodded, and gestured at the door.

Shall we?" She asked. I nodded. Mum reached forward to knock, before changing her mind. Instead, she tried turning the handle. "It's locked" she said with a sigh.

"Here, let me try." I put one hand on the handle, and placed my other hand at the other side of the door. I steadied my grip, before lifting the door clean off its hinges. "Oh look, its open!" I said to mum with a grin. She chuckled, and stepped through the doorway. I placed the door down carefully, then followed after her.

We found ourselves in a dingy, untidy flat. An unkempt man of about forty was the only visible occupant. He had long, straggly black hair that was receding rapidly. His figure was thin and gangly, and his face was unshaven. He had been sat in an armchair in front of the TV, and had obviously leapt to his feet at the sound of his door being wrenched away.

"What the fuck?" He muttered as we walked in, before a look of recognition spread across his face. "Gina!" He said happily, as though this was a pleasant social call. Then he turned to face me. "And my little Naomikins!" I scowled at him. I had been expecting him to know exactly who I was – there aren't that many people with the power of flight – but I hated the little pet-name he seemed to have for me. He seemed undaunted by my hostility. "Yes, look at you, all grown up! I've seen you on the news of course. I knew straight away that it was my little girl. Oh, I'm so proud of you!" My patience bubbled over, and I strode towards him purposefully.

"_You…_" I jabbed a finger firmly into his chest. "…Don't get to be proud of me. You don't get to be anything, okay? I'm not your little girl, and I never have been." Alan looked vaguely contrite at that.

"I know I haven't always been there for you…"

"You were _never_ there!" I snapped. I had never really held any malice in my heart over Alan leaving us, but discovering that he still thought he had the right to call me his little girl was really boiling my piss. But we weren't there for a family reunion, or even to ask for several years worth of birthday presents – we had much more pressing matters to think about. "Where is my spaceship?" I asked firmly. The sudden change of subject caught Alan off guard. He gave a start of surprise, before quickly regaining his composure.

"Buried in India where we left it, I suppose" he said, with an ingratiating smile in mum's direction.

"Wrong answer. Try again" I barked. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Naomi, I don't know anything about your spaceship."

"You're the only other person who knew where it was. You must have moved it." I narrowed my eyes at him, and tried to look threatening. "Tell me where it is, or I'll start pulling your limbs off!" He gave me a self-satisfied grin that made me want to slap him.

"No you won't" he said calmly. "I've seen you on TV – I know you never hurt anyone, you're all noble and shit." Well, he had me there. I had no intention of actually hurting him at all – and he had called my bluff. I looked uncertainly down at the ground.

"Well I'm not" said mum. Before I could stop her, she marched up to Alan and kneed him firmly in the groin. He sank to his knees, doubled over in pain. I flashed a quick smile at mum.

"Nice stern face!" I told her. She grinned happily at me.

"Thanks! It felt natural, you know? You were right about 'winging it'."

"What the fuck, Gina love?" Gasped Alan, rubbing gingerly at his crotch.

"What have you done with her spaceship?" Demanded mum, as she glowered down at him.

"I haven't been anywhere near it Gina! Trust me!" Mum gave a bitter little laugh.

"Trust you?" She asked. "I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you!" Mums words gave me an idea.

"Come on" I said firmly, grabbing hold of him by his collar and hauling him to his feet. I marched him through his front doorway, and up a flight of stairs that I had seen on our way in. Mum followed behind us. The stairs led up to the roof of the tower block. We were quite a way up, and a cool breeze was in the air. "Mum said she wouldn't trust you as far as she could throw you. Well how about we find out how far _I_ can throw you?" I grabbed Alan's elbow with one hand, and behind his knee with my other hand, and lifted him off his feet. I span him a little bit, trying to make it seem like I might actually do it.

"Oops."

Mum had turned away but as I spoke, she span back to face me. She stared with confusion at my empty hands.

"Where's your father?" She asked with a frown. I grinned nervously back at her.

"Er, I was sort of gesturing, and he kind of… slipped out of my hands." Mum's eyes went wide with shock.

"Well get after him then, for God's sake!" She snapped. I leapt into the sky to chase after the airborne Alan. He was about three miles away, and still gaining height by the time I caught up with him. I seized hold of him, and took him back to the roof of his building. As we landed, Alan collapsed forward onto his hands and knees.

"Well he should be ready to talk now" I muttered sheepishly. I glanced over at the hunched figure of my father. "Once he's stopped vomiting, that is."

Eventually, Alan seemed to have brought up the entire contents of his stomach, and his retching ceased. He sat in a pathetic huddle, surrounded by his own sick. He was sobbing gently, and shaking uncontrollably. God, had mum ever considered this pathetic human being as a suitable partner?

"What have you done with my spaceship?" I asked, as I towered over him.

"I sold it" he muttered. He no longer seemed to have the will to deny his involvement.

"What?" I hissed, with barely contained fury.

"I needed the money" he said apologetically.

"How the fuck did you sell an alien spacecraft?" I asked, incredulous. "It's a bit of a speciality item!" Alan shrugged.

"I put it on eBay."

"EBay?" I stared at him. "So let me get this straight: you put my spacecraft, the only piece of my heritage that I have, and my one remaining link to my home planet… on _eBay_?"

"It was a free listing weekend."

Words just failed me. I stared at Alan with my mouth gaping open.

"When was this?" Asked mum. Alan told her that it was about six months ago. "And what about the rock?" He looked blankly at her.

"What rock?"

"The rock that we found on the beach. We buried it with the ship, remember? What happened to it?"

Alan shook his head.

"I don't know what happened to that."

"Well it must have been there when you dug up the ship!" I declared.

"No, I didn't dig up the ship" said Alan. "I didn't have the money to go to India, so I sold it as collection only. I gave the buyer the location of your ship."

"How much did you get for it?" Asked mum.

"Twenty thousand pounds." Mum shook her head sadly.

"You sold out your own daughter for twenty thousand pounds? You piece of shit."

"I needed the money" he repeated, pathetically.

"Who did you sell it to?" I demanded.

"Kermit the Frog."

"What?"

"You know, love" supplied mum, helpfully. "The sweet green one from the muppets."

"I know who Kermit the fucking Frog is!" I snapped. "I just don't see what a bandy-legged, green puppet would want with my spaceship!"

"Well they did make 'Muppets From Space'. Perhaps they've written a sequel."

Oh, give me strength!

"That was his user ID" explained Alan. "At least I think it was. It was Kermit, or Big Bird. Something like that." A light suddenly went on in my mind.

"Was it The Cookie Monster?" I asked, with trepidation. Alan nodded.

"Yeah, that was it. Something like that, anyway." So there it was: the link back to the Fitches.

We continued to question Alan until we felt like we had extracted all the information he had. He insisted that he had never met or had any other contact with the buyer, and that he had not told them anything about me. As far as we could tell, he was telling the truth. Which meant that my secret identity still remained a secret.

Eventually we decided to leave, so we strolled back inside, leaving Alan sitting in a pool of his own vomit.

"Wait a minute" said mum as we passed his doorway. She darted back inside the flat. I followed after her, and found her in the kitchen. "Now, if I know your father…" She opened the freezer section of the fridge, and started rummaging around. She pulled out a couple of boxes. "Nothing but ready meals. Typical!" I rolled my eyes.

"You're worrying about his diet now?" I asked sarcastically. Mum just ignored me and continued her search.

"Aha!" Triumphantly, she pulled out a scruffy envelope. It was stuffed full of cash. "It won't be the full twenty thousand, but it'll still make a pretty good donation to the soup kitchen if it ever starts up again."

* * *

><p>It was late by the time we got home. We walked into the kitchen to find Kieran still waiting up for us.<p>

"How did it go with your father?" He asked. I thought back to the way Alan had reacted to being accidentally thrown by me.

"I think I broke him."

"Well that's nice" said Kieran with a grin.

Mum and I quickly filled him in on the basics of our chat with Alan. Kieran used some of his choicest swearwords as we related what had happened. Eventually, he announced that he was turning in for the night. Mum and I were left alone, both of us sitting in silence.

"Are you okay love?" Asked mum gently, staring across the table at me. I nodded. "I'm sorry about your father" she added. I smiled at her.

"He's just a mercenary prick, mum. He's not worth our concern. I've never even thought of him as my father, you know? He's nothing to me - _less_ than nothing. He's no blood relation, and he's not someone that I remember ever being around." I rose from my seat and walked round to where mum was sat. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "You're the one who's always been there for me. You mean the world to me."

"Soppy bugger" said mum, but she slid her arm around my waist all the same.

* * *

><p>The next few days dragged by. Our continuing investigations progressed at a snail's pace, and the time was made all the more dull by Emily's absence. I had decided that it was probably best to avoid her for the time being, but I was in danger of crumbling at any moment. I had responded to her texts both to me and to Ultra Woman, but my replies had all been short and rather abrupt.<p>

On Sunday afternoon, I was alone in my bedroom reading through a file that Effy had put together about the Fitches. It was a very dull read. With an exasperated sigh, I snapped the folder shut and tossed it aside. I reached for my coffee and took a sip. I was disgusted to discover that I'd let it get cold. I couldn't be bothered to go downstairs for a fresh one, so I used my heat vision to warm it through. As I did so, there was a tap on my bedroom door. Assuming it would just be Effy, I called for her to come in.

"Hi." With a jolt of surprise, I realised that it was actually Emily. I was so taken aback that I lost concentration. The mug in my hand shattered, spilling scorching hot coffee over my lap. Quickly, I snatched up my glasses and put them on. "Wow, what the fuck happened there?" Asked Emily, staring at the remains of my mug.

"Freak accident I guess. Lucky it was cold." I was careful to keep back from Emily's grasp. If she realised how hot the coffee was, she would wonder why it hadn't scalded me. "I'll just go clean up." I threw the mug in the bin, then bolted out of my room and down the stairs. Mum was in the kitchen washing up the plates from lunchtime. "Mum!" I hissed. "You can't just let Emily come straight up to my room, she could have seen anything!" Mum grinned at me.

"Oh dear, were you touching yourself?" She chuckled at my obvious embarrassment. "It's nothing to be ashamed about love, everyone masturbates!"

"I was _not_ masturbating!" I growled, whilst trying to towel the coffee off my jeans. "I meant she nearly saw me using my super powers!"

Seeing little sense in arguing further with my mother, I was soon back in my room with Emily. Hungrily, my eyes took in the sight of her. As ever, she looked naturally beautiful. She was wearing a very pretty summer dress, her shoulders covered by a little cardigan. I had only been away from her for four days, but I ached to hold her in my arms again. She glanced down at my coffee stained clothes.

"You should change" she said with a grin. When she saw my hesitation, she added "I'll turn around."

"Would you mind leaving the room?" I asked, feeling rather pathetic. I felt myself blush, and could only stare down at the floor. Emily seemed surprised by my request, but she walked towards the door. As she reached it, she looked back over her shoulder at me.

"Are you wearing embarrassing underwear, Naoms?" She asked with a cheeky smirk.

"Yeah, something like that" I muttered. In truth, I was. It was bright pink, with a sky blue cape.

With Emily out of the room, I quickly changed then let her back in. She sank down onto my bed. I sat down next to her, keeping as much space as possible between us.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" She asked, bluntly.

"I haven't!" I lied. "I've just been busy…" Emily made a noise of frustration.

"Naomi, don't lie to me! You've barely replied to any of my texts, Ultra Woman's been avoiding me as well. What the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing" I insisted.

"Naoms, do you think I'm an idiot?" Emily's voice was steady, and her eyes looked very serious. They held my gaze for a few seconds, before she continued. "I've figured it out, you know."

"There's nothing to figure out!" I said quickly, still going for flat-out denial. Emily shook her head sadly.

"Naomi, I can put the pieces together. Ultra Woman was about to tell me everything on Wednesday, but then she flew out of there like a mad-woman. But before she did, she mentioned your name." I stared at Emily, unable to look away. In a calm, gentle tone, she carried on. "So it got me thinking. I suddenly realised how strange it is that you're both good friends with Effy, yet you claim to hardly know each other. I mentioned you to Ultra Woman the other day, and she was quick to change the subject. You told me in your texts that you had insider knowledge about her." I longed to interrupt, but my mouth felt incapable of forming the sufficient words. "And I've never once seen the two of you in the same place, at the same time. As far as I can work out, that only adds up to one thing."

Finally, I found my voice.

"Emily, I know what you're going to say…" My sentence drifted into nothing. I had no idea how I was even going to begin explaining my actions to her.

"You and Ultra Woman…" Emily paused and braced herself for her next words. The whole world seemed to be standing still in that moment. "…You're avoiding each other because you slept together, didn't you?"

Oh.

Okay, I guess I _didn't_ know what she was about to say.

* * *

><p><strong>Er... love is blind? <strong>

**That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Quite a response to the last chapter! It seems that I may have led one or two of you down the garden path with that ending. Hey, I'm a magician! It's what I do.**

**I know Emily was being a little dumb there, and now it's Naomi's turn. But I think you might just like the end of this one. It's a monster of a chapter! Well not in a 'Manifolds' way, but it's the biggest one so far.**

**(Speaking of: if you're not reading Manifolds already, you really should do yourself a favour and check it out)**

**Hope you enjoy! **

**Myrtle**

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry?" I stared at Emily as I tried to comprehend what she was asking me. I had been fully expecting her to accuse me of <em>being<em> Ultra Woman. Accusing me of having been _with_ Ultra Woman threw me completely off my stride.

"You've slept with Ultra Woman" she repeated. I felt pretty sure I must have looked a bit like a goldfish in that moment, flapping my mouth open and shut to no effect. Several things seemed to go through my mind at once. Firstly, I considered the fact that I actually _have_ slept with Ultra Woman. Think about it – if you take Emily's statement literally, then I have spent every single night with Ultra Woman since she came into existence about a year ago.

But I knew that Emily didn't mean that sentence in the literal sense, so I could disregard those thoughts. Clearly, Emily was referring to sex. She was really asking me if I have ever had any kind of sexual relationship with Ultra Woman. And that is where we get into all kinds of grey areas, because really…

Oh fuck it. You can use your imagination, surely?

But self-help is not really what Emily is referring to either, so surely I can answer her question in a resounding 'no', and keep my conscience clear. Unfortunately as I had yet to answer, Emily took my silence as the answer she was already expecting.

"Shit, I knew it. Was it before I started seeing her?" She asked.

"No!" Emily's face darkened instantly. Oh fuck. I've practically just admitted that I've cheated on her with… me. "I mean I haven't! Emily, I haven't slept with her!"

Emily was by now on her feet, pacing my room restlessly.

"I just wish one of you had told me, you know?" Apparently my rebuttal hadn't even registered with her. "When did it happen? Was it only the once or has it happened before?"

"Emily stop!" I rose from the bed and caught her hands with mine, bringing her movements to a halt.

"Listen to me: I haven't had sex with Ultra Woman, okay? We have never been together like that. _Ever_." I looked into Emily's eyes and saw uncertainty in them. She had really convinced herself that her conclusion was right, but I could see that she wanted to believe me. "Emily, I promise you."

"Naoms you would tell me, wouldn't you?" She asked, her voice filled with doubt.

"I would!" I insisted. "Emily, I haven't slept with her, honestly. I wouldn't lie to you. About this." I hoped that my final qualifying statement would slide by unnoticed. Because lets face it: I've told Emily a lot of porkies in the short time that I've known her. "I don't even fancy her!" I added, for good measure. At least that part was true. I'd have to be _totally_ narcissistic to fancy Ultra Woman!

Emily sighed, and let her shoulders slump.

"Naoms, I'm sorry" she muttered in sudden defeat. "It just seemed to all add up to that, and the thought of the two of you together got me really jealous … I guess I went a bit crazy." She slumped back down on the bed, so I sat next to her.

"It's okay, I understand it making you a little crazy" I answered. Emily looked up at me with a frown.

"But why have you been avoiding me?" She asked.

"I haven't" I argued. "I've just been busy. Some stuff came up…" I tried desperately to think of a valid reason for my actions. In a flash of inspiration, I decided to stick to an approximation of the truth. "I went to visit my dad. He lives up north."

"Your dad?" Asked Emily in surprise. "You've never really mentioned him before. I thought you didn't know where he was?"

"Mum found an address for him, and I wanted to meet him."

"How did it go?"

"Turns out that he's a bit of a prick" I answered with a dismissive shrug. Emily slipped her hand into mine and gave it a squeeze.

"Naoms, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I don't really want to talk about it."

"I thought you were avoiding me" she said in a small voice. Guilt made my skin prickle all over, because of course she was absolutely right. "Ultra Woman's been avoiding me since Wednesday, and when I thought that you were too, I just…" Emily sighed, and sounded very forlorn.

"Maybe she just has some stuff to sort out" I ventured, unconvincingly. I hated the thought of Emily being mad at me. By which I mean Ultra Woman me. "I mean, her life must be very different to ours."

"I guess so." Emily shook her head sadly. "That's part of the problem, really."

"Problem?" I asked, in sudden alarm.

"Yeah. She's just so different, you know? I mean she's not even human. And she still has so many secrets that she hasn't shared with me. Sometimes I think things would be a lot simpler if I just dated a regular girl." She looked up and stared intently into my eyes. "Someone like…" She shook her head gently and looked away again. "Never mind. Sometimes you can miss what's right in front of you, and then it's too late."

Shit. My avoidance of Emily is causing her to question our whole relationship! I shuffled closer to her and slid my arm around her shoulders. Emily settled herself into my embrace. Holding her in my arms again just felt so natural and right.

"Hey, she really cares about you, surely you know that?" Emily gave a small nod, but didn't seem convinced. "Emily, look at me." She brought her eyes up to meet mine. "Effy says that Ultra Woman's really smitten with you." Emily gave a gentle smile, like she was just wanting to believe my words. "I'm sure she'll contact you soon, and she'll tell you everything just as soon as she can."

"Everything's so complicated, Nai" she said with a sigh. "I feel so confused right now, I don't know who…" I gave her shoulders a squeeze.

"I'm sure it's not as complicated as it seems. Just go with your instincts, okay? Listen to your heart." Emily gave a sudden snort of laughter. I frowned at her, not sure what was so funny.

"I take it you've been listening to Emka's band?" She asked, arching an eyebrow at me. "Listen To Your Heart is a Roxette song, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah" I answered with a nod. I had forgotten all about the added complications of Emka for a while there.

"I'm sorry, Naoms. I shouldn't dump all this on you."

"It's fine. That's what friends are for." I gave her shoulders another squeeze, and she gave me a smile full of warmth. As I stared at her, I began to question why I had behaved so badly to her over the last few days. I had wanted to know the truth about what was going on, but deep down I had known all along. I just felt so certain that Emily wasn't involved in those fires at all. Here I was telling her to listen to her heart, but I hadn't been doing that myself. I _know_ Emily, and I'm certain that she's not involved.

Emily smirked, and I could tell that she was about to tease me.

"And what do you mean that you don't fancy Ultra Woman?" She asked with a laugh to her voice.

"She's not my type" I said casually, hoping that Emily didn't remember that I described Emka as being tall and blonde. Emily stared at me.

"How can you not fancy her?" She asked in disbelief.

"I don't! I guess I just don't see her that way, really. Besides, don't you think the pink spandex looks ridiculous?" Yes, I still haven't forgiven my mum for insisting that I wear that thing.

"Oi!" Said Emily, giving me a playful shove. "That's my girlfriend you're making fun of!" I giggled, and felt infinitely more relaxed to hear Emily still refer to me as her girlfriend. Perhaps I hadn't made too big a mess of this.

Emily didn't stay for much longer. She soon made her excuses and I walked her to the front door.

"Thanks for not thinking I'm a totally crazy bitch" she told me, as a faint blush crept across her cheeks.

"You're not crazy, okay?" I answered with a grin. Emily nodded then wrapped her arms around me in a warm hug. As we broke apart, she seemed to hesitate. I must have imagined it, but I felt sure that her eyes snapped briefly to my lips. Then she frowned and looked away.

"I better go" she said hurriedly.

After she left I ambled through to the kitchen to find Effy sat there talking to mum.

"Was that Emily?" Effy asked with an eyebrow raised in query. I nodded. "I thought you were staying away from her."

"_She_ called round here" I insisted. "But I don't think I _can_ stay away from her anyway."

"Ah, it must have been love" said Effy with a smirk. I sighed.

"Don't _you_ fucking start." I pulled out a chair and sat down opposite her. "Emily's not involved, Eff. I know she isn't." She stared sullenly at me.

"You're letting your feelings cloud your judgement."

"I _know_ her. She's not involved, okay?" As Effy rolled her eyes, I felt obliged to offer her more than just my own feelings. "Listen, I've been thinking about the fire at the soup kitchen: Emily couldn't have set it. I remember now that I was talking to her, then I saw Kieran. I spoke to Kieran, then I went straight back to Emily. That's when Thomas came through and said that there was a fire. It was _after_ that that Emily went missing. She must have seen Panda go to the toilet and went looking for her once the fire started." Effy's intense stare fell slightly, and I knew that she realised I was right. But she quickly regained her composure.

"So she didn't _set_ the fire, but that doesn't mean she's not involved. She could have been the one to remove the batteries from the smoke alarms."

"And endanger everyone's lives?" I shook my head firmly. "No way. Emily couldn't do that."

"Smith Holdings is in her name!" Argued Effy, clearly beginning to lose her cool. But this was another thing that I had been giving some thought to.

"She might not even know about it" I insisted. "That company could have been set up in her name without her even seeing any paperwork. Signatures are easily forged." Effy opened her mouth to argue, but she quickly closed it again. Ha! Roll that into a big fat spliff and smoke it!

"This is all just conjecture" said Effy at last. "You've got no proof of this."

"Then we'll _get_ proof" I argued, determined not to let this drop. Just half an hour back in Emily's company had convinced me that she would never get involved in whatever was going on. I had been a fool to ever doubt her. Seeing that I was serious, Effy sighed in resignation.

"Well the original papers for the sale of the building will be with the mayor, but short of breaking into her office, I don't see what we can do about it." My eyes went wide with excitement at her words.

"Effy, what a brilliant idea! We'll break into Harriet's office!" Effy looked up at me sharply.

"What? No, I didn't say that! Naomi, are you fucking insane? I said we _can't_ break into her office!"

"I don't know why we didn't think of it before" I muttered to myself, choosing to ignore Effy's protestations. "We can break into her office and read all the paperwork about the sale of the soup kitchen!"

"Did you hear that?" Asked Effy, turning to address my mother. "The way she says 'we', like she thinks I'm going to get involved in her stupid plan to get herself arrested!" Mum threw her hands up dismissively.

"Don't bring me into your wild schemes."

"Effy, you know I'll need your help for this!" I insisted, hoping to appeal to her vanity.

"I don't see why. You're the one who can bash straight through the wall!" I reigned in the urge to roll my eyes at Effy.

"I can't break in like that, can I! We need to be stealthy. If they have a break-in and there's an Ultra Woman shaped hole in the middle of the wall, it will narrow down their list of suspects a bit!"

"So what did you have in mind?" Asked mum. "Stealthy is not exactly your speciality, is it? You do tend to stand out a bit."

"Well I wasn't planning on going down there dressed as the jolly pink giant! I'll go down there as myself. No-one knows who I am as Naomi, so if I'm seen then it won't matter as much."

Effy gave a slow exhale of breath, and I knew that I had convinced her to help me.

"What's your plan?" She asked with resignation. That caused me to fall silent. I didn't have a plan as such, just a vague vision of me inside Harriet's office, discovering all the information that we needed. But how hard can it be? It always looks so easy on those bad cop shows that mum watches.

Fortunately, Effy was a little more capable than me at forward thinking. We began to put together a plan to get inside Harriet's office. Since we assumed that the place would be alarmed, we decided it would be best to get in there during the day. The mayor seemed to spend her life having long lunches, so we figured we could probably sneak in while she was out, without anyone even spotting us.

* * *

><p>That evening, I decided to pay a visit as Ultra Woman to Emily. Yes Effy and I were going looking for proof of her innocence the next day, but I didn't need it. I was sure that Emily couldn't be involved, so I had no reason to avoid her anymore. I wanted more than ever to tell her the truth about me, and get our relationship back on track.<p>

Though I admit that I didn't tell anyone else where I was going.

I flew over to Robenna Mansion, and saw a light on in Emily's room. I landed on the balcony and tapped gently on the patio doors. A moment later, Emily opened them to let me in.

"Hi. Come in." Her greeting lacked the warmth that it usually had, making me feel guilty once more. She didn't move to kiss me, she just moved across her room and sat down on the sofa. After closing the doors behind me, I sat down next to her. I took her hand in mine, feeling relief that she didn't try to stop me.

"Emily, I'm so sorry for the way I left on Wednesday" I began. I watched her face closely all the while, but she wouldn't lift her gaze up to meet mine. I forced myself to carry on. "I've had some big stuff going on lately. It's difficult to explain all of it but…"

"I know" said Emily firmly. "I understand that you can't tell me everything. It's fine." Okay, but things still didn't _seem_ fine. There was a distance between us that hadn't been there since we started dating.

"Emily, look at me" I said gently. Slowly, she raised her eyes up to look into mine. Those soft brown hues displayed a confusing mixture of guilt and uncertainty. I stroked my fingers softly across her cheek. "What's going on?" I asked. If Emily really was fine about me leaving, then there had to be another explanation for her manner. Her eyes darted away from mine once more. "Em, talk to me" I pleaded.

"I don't know" she answered with a sigh. I felt a heavy sensation, deep in the pit of my stomach. "Everything's so complicated right now."

"What's complicated?" I pushed. Emily had said things were complicated earlier, but I hadn't really taken it in. As she remained silent, I spoke again. "Emily, do you still want to go out with me?" I asked desperately. I held my breath as I waited for her response.

"Yes." She paused. "I _think_ so." Another pause. "I don't know" she added gently, closing her eyes.

"Listen, if this is about my secrets then you don't have to worry any more. I've come here…"

"It's not just that" answered Emily quickly. "Lately I've been…" she sighed, as she struggled to find the right words. "I like you. I like you a lot, really I do. But there's someone else that I like too, and I don't know what to do." Slowly, her words sank in. My heart felt like it was made of lead, and my throat felt tight.

"Someone else?" My voice sounded so far away, like I was no longer tuned in properly to the conversation. Emily gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry. I really don't want to mess you around, but I don't know what to do. I'm really confused right now."

Someone else. Those words thundered in my ears, dimming every other sound almost to nothing.

"Who is it?" I asked, my mouth feeling implausibly dry. Emily just shook her head.

"That doesn't matter. Listen, I really am sorry." Emily's gaze met mine again, and I could see in her eyes that she genuinely was sorry. "I need some time to think, okay? I'll call you. Soon." With such an obvious dismissal, there was nothing else for me to do but leave. I rose to my feet and moved towards the way I came in. With my hand on the door, I looked back over my shoulder at Emily.

"I'll give you whatever time you need Emily, but I don't need any time to think things through. I already know that I'm in love with you." I saw her surprise at my words register on her face, but I couldn't stay there a moment longer. I turned my back to her and hastily left her room without another glance.

As I flew away, my vision was clouded by tears.

* * *

><p>"Are you ready to do this?" I asked Effy, as I walked into the Stonem house on Monday. She looked me up and down with a scathing look. I was wearing black trainers, black jogging bottoms and a black sweatshirt.<p>

"Why are you dressed all in black?" She asked. "Are you going to mime your way into the mayor's office?" I shrugged.

"I want to look inconspicuous." She rolled her eyes at me. "Besides, _you're_ dressed all in black."

"I'm _always_ in black" she answered simply. "But you look like you're planning to break in somewhere. You may as well have added a balaclava."

"This is the sort of stuff you're supposed to wear for this sort of thing. I'm dressed for succ… oh never mind." I slouched out of the house, closely followed by Effy.

We headed into the town centre and made straight for the Town Hall. It was a little bit before lunchtime, so our plan was to hang around the entrance foyer until we saw Harriet leave.

We had hardly been there for ten minutes before we saw her bustling importantly along the corridor, bestowing simpering smiles on anyone that she deemed worthy of them. Effy and I received no such smile, she simply ignored us.

Once she was out of the building, we went up the stairs in the direction of her office. Before we reached the outer waiting room we could see her PA Doug sat behind his desk, looking like he had no plans to move.

"Shit, I forgot about Doug" I cursed.

"Maybe he'll take a lunch break too" suggested Effy. As if in answer to her statement, Doug chose that moment to bring out a bright pink lunchbox from his desk. He opened it and proceeded to remove a sandwich, an apple and a carton of juice, setting each thing carefully down on his desk. Clearly, he had every intention of eating them where he was. "Looks like you've got a fan there" said Effy with a snigger. I followed her gaze and realised that Doug's lunchbox was an Ultra Woman one.

"I've got an idea. Stay here" I said to Effy, as I headed through a nearby door for the ladies loos. Once inside a cubicle, I striped down to my super suit, removed my glasses and slicked back my hair. Seconds later, I rejoined Effy. "Hold these" I said, thrusting my clothes at her. "It's time for plan B."

"You really think Ben Drew can help?" Asked Effy, almost imperceptibly raising an eyebrow. Choosing to ignore her, I marched with confidence into the waiting room. Doug looked up as I walked in.

"Ultra Woman!" He exclaimed, his face splitting into a huge smile. "It's marvellous to see you again!" I gave him my friendliest smile.

"Hello, Doug. I just wanted to pop by to say thanks for…" I hesitated. My only previous meeting with Doug had been very brief indeed. "Er, all the help you gave me." I silently prayed that it didn't sound as transparent as I thought it did. Fortunately, Doug just beamed at me all the more. "I'd like to take you out for lunch to say thank you." Doug glanced uncertainly down at his rather pathetic-looking bait.

"Well, that's very kind of you. Very kind indeed, but you see I already have…" I tuned out of what he was actually saying, as it became clear that he had no intention of letting his sandwich go to waste. Okay, I'm going in.

"Are you sure I can't tempt you?" I asked, as I moved around his desk. Doing my best to feign clumsiness (I've had a _lot_ of practice), I sat down right on top of his sandwich. Doug frowned in distaste. Instantly, I leapt back to my feet and stared at the squished mess as though seeing it for the first time. "Oh God, I'm so sorry. Was that your lunch? I didn't even see it there." Doug eyed the revolting mess carefully, as though deciding if it was salvageable. Something that looked suspiciously like jam and peanut-butter was oozing out from the bread. With a smooth movement, I swept the whole thing into the bin. "Why don't you let me buy you a replacement." I hooked my arm through Doug's and hauled him to his feet. Without giving him a chance to argue, I steered him towards the doorway, past an amused Effy. He chunted away under his breath, but let me lead him onwards.

As we reached the top of the stairs, I used my usual dodge of pretending to hear something with my super-hearing.

"Doug, I'm so sorry! I have to go check a siren out. It shouldn't take long, why don't you go wait in the foyer for me, and I'll be right back." I spoke quickly, not giving him a chance to process my words properly. It worked, and soon a very bewildered Doug headed down the stairs without me. Hastily, I went back to Effy. I threw my other clothes back on, just in case I did get seen going through Harriet's papers.

"Lets make this quick" said Effy. "If there's any proof that Emily's innocent, we'll find it and then you can tell her everything." She glanced at her watch. "With any luck, you'll get yourself laid by four pm." I frowned and looked down at the floor. "What's up? I thought that's what you wanted?" She asked.

"It is, but I'm not sure that it's still what Emily wants" I said glumly. "I think she's starting to fall for someone else."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well my first clue was when she said 'I'm falling for someone else'."

"Who?" Asked Effy with a frown. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I don't know anyone else that she's been hanging around with, except for me." Effy smiled gently at me.

"Well don't you think that maybe she's…" She bit her lip and fell infuriatingly silent.

"What?" I demanded. Effy nodded in the direction of the mayor's office.

"Don't you think we should get this sorted first? We can talk later."

Now thoroughly pissed off at my best friend, I walked to the door for Harriet's office. I took a hairpin from my pocket, brought specially for the occasion, and poked it about in the lock. I was sure there was supposed to be a click or something, but the door remained silent.

"Any ideas?" I asked Effy. Hmm, perhaps we should have thought about this part of the plan in more detail.

"I thought you'd be a pro at this, seeing as you're an award-winning investigative journalist for The Daily Planet." She slapped her hand theatrically against her forehead. "Oh wait, that's _Superman's_ alter-ego." I heaved out a sigh.

"Do you want to help, or do you just want to stand there and be sarcastic?" I asked, waspishly. Effy stroked her chin thoughtfully.

"Hmm, let me think" she mused, in a sardonic tone. Why did I even bother to ask? I went back to fiddling with the lock. "You _have_ checked that it's locked, haven't you?" Asked Effy.

"Of course I've checked!" I snapped, before remembering that I actually hadn't. Surreptitiously, I checked the handle to find that the door was indeed locked. I was relieved that Effy was wrong – which was a bit ridiculous, considering that I was trying to get in there. Effy began routing around in the drawers of Doug's desk, while I turned my attention back to the lock.

"Aha!" Effy walked towards me, brandishing a large bunch of keys. She began trying them one at a time in the lock, until the door finally opened with a satisfying click. Cautiously, I stepped into the office.

"You keep look-out along the corridor" I instructed Effy.

"Okay. If you hear an owl hooting, that's my signal that someone's coming."

"The sarcasm's _really_ not helping" I grumbled, as she took up position along the corridor.

I began my search by going through the drawers of Harriet's desk. Before I had gone very far, my super hearing latched onto the muffled sounds of Harriet herself in the corridor, making her way back to the office. She was grumbling to Doug that he had given her the wrong papers for her appointment.

"Shit. Naomi they're coming back – get out of there!" Said Effy in an undertone from somewhere along the corridor. In a panic, my eyes darted around the room looking for a place to hide. There was nothing. Desperately, I looked up. The ceiling was high, so I might just be in luck. I flew up as high as I could, and flattened my body out against the ceiling. I just prayed that neither Doug or Harriet would look up.

I had just got myself into position when Harriet burst into the room and marched towards the desk. Doug was following obsequiously behind her, offering excuses for his mistake.

"_This_ is the right folder, you fucking moron!" Barked Harriet, snatching something up from her desk. "Now if you make a mistake like that again, I'll cut your fucking balls off!" Wow, the mayor really has anger management issues when she's out of the public eye! Harriet was still rummaging around on her desk for something. "And where the fuck is my H.R…"

"Oh, the report about the staff cuts?" Asked Doug. Harriet glared fiercely at him.

"I'm not talking about Human fucking Resources!" She growled, as she snatched up a pill bottle and shook a handful of tablets out. She swallowed them hastily, without any water. Then with one last death-glare at Doug, she stormed back out of the office. Doug followed slowly after her.

I waited until the click-clack of Harriet's heels had retreated a safe distance away, before coming down from the ceiling. Effy poked her head around the door as I did so.

"They've both gone. I don't think they'll be back any time soon. Let's find this stuff quickly and get the hell out of here." I nodded my agreement, and the two of us set to work.

Before long, we found a folder containing paperwork about the sale of the soup kitchen. Instead of going through it, Effy suggested that we quickly photocopy the entire contents, and read it at our leisure. After a quick trip to the copier in the outer office, we were ready to leave.

"Right, let's get home and go through that stuff" I said as we made our way down the stairs. Effy smirked at me.

"_I'll_ go home, but I think you'll find that you have a lunch date."

Oh fuck. I'd forgotten about my promise to Doug.

* * *

><p>After an indescribably boring lunch with Doug, I was finally able to fly home. As I walked into the kitchen, I saw Emily sat there with mum, waiting for me. Fortunately I had changed back into my outer clothes, and was dressed as myself. My heart felt heavy at the sight of her but of course as Naomi, I wasn't supposed to be in love with her. So I plastered a bright smile to my face. Emily took in my outfit.<p>

"Oh, you've been running" she said, before the corners of her lips curled up in a half smile. "Or doing an impression of Marcel Marceau."

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I asked, as it dawned on me that it was still the middle of the afternoon. Emily shrugged and looked uncertainly down at the table.

"I was due some time off. I needed to see you."

I suggested that we go up to my room. Emily agreed and followed me as I led the way.

"So what's going on?" I asked as the door closed behind us. Emily was certainly not her usual cheerful self. She seemed anxious and ill at ease, her hands fidgeting nervously.

"How are things going with Emka?" She asked suddenly, instead of answering my question.

"Who?" Oh, right! My wonderful, yet entirely fictitious Swedish girlfriend. "Oh fine!" I added, making a quick recovery. "Things are great. _Really_ great." Emily scrutinised my face carefully as I answered. I couldn't tell what she was looking for, but she didn't seem to see it. Her face fell at my words, although she tried to hide it.

"That's good Naoms. I'm happy for you." She smiled, but it reached nowhere near her eyes. Was she here to tell me about this mystery 'other woman' that's she's falling for? It would make sense, since she and I are friends.

"And how are things between you and Ultra Woman?" I pushed, hoping to get her talking.

"Great!" She answered quickly. "Everything's wonderful. She came over last night to talk. I think I was worrying needlessly, you know?" She wouldn't meet my eyes, and there was a definite tremor to her voice.

"Em, what's going on?" I asked gently. "You say you're happy, but you really don't sound it." She turned her back to me, and I watched as her shoulders hunched up. In two strides, I closed the distance and was stood in front of her. "Come here" I muttered as I pulled her into my arms. She grabbed tightly onto me, as if to stop herself from falling.

After a few moments stood together like that, I pulled back far enough to see her face. A couple of tears were making their way down her cheeks. Without even thinking, I reached a hand up to brush one of them away. Emily's breath hitched at my touch. I continued to stroke my fingers lightly against her skin, tracing the features of her face.

I'm not sure which of us moved closer. It seemed like we both moved at the same time, like a gravitational pull towards each other. All I know is that the next second, Emily's lips brushed gently against mine. In that instant, I forgot everything but the feel of her kiss. I slid my arms around her back and pulled her towards me. The distinction between Ultra Woman and myself vanished into oblivion as Emily's tongue pressed against my lips. I let her deepen the kiss, and moaned as she did so.

In another couple of seconds it was all over, as Emily pushed herself away from me.

"Shit! Naoms I'm so sorry!" Her eyes were scrunched tightly shut. I stared dumbly at her, as the whole crazy mess that I had created rushed back into my conscious thoughts. Along with a startling new revelation: _I_ am the other woman that Emily is falling for.

It's a bit of a pickle, eh?

"I'm sorry." Emily shook her head, and opened her eyes to look at me. "You've got a girlfriend. _I've_ got a girlfriend. I shouldn't of…" With another shake of her head, she opened the door to my room and darted out. She moved so swiftly that I was a few steps behind her. She garbled various words of apology as I followed her down the stairs and towards the front door. Before I even really knew what was happening, she was through the door and it was closed behind her.

"Emily!" I called desperately, but she had already gone. I let out a heavy sigh, and walked into the sitting room. Kieran and mum were in there and looked up questioningly as I walked in.

"Naomi, what's going on?" Asked mum in alarm as she took in my distressed face.

"Emily just kissed me" I muttered. Mum's face relaxed into a smile.

"Oh, that's nice." She suddenly frowned, like she was trying to do long division in her head. "But wait a minute, she's not dating _you_, she's dating… well, you know what I mean." I nodded.

"Yes. Somehow, I've found myself in the middle of a love triangle with _myself_ as the other woman."

"That's not so much a triangle really, is it?" Asked Kieran, scratching his chin thoughtfully. I sighed and sank down onto the sofa.

"It's all so fucking complicated!" I moaned.

"It's more of a right-angle, if you think about it" continued Kieran.

"I didn't mean the geometry was complicated!" I snapped.

"Emily's still outside" said mum, as she peered out of the window. I leapt to my feet. I had just assumed that Emily would have driven straight off, but if she's still here then I have to try and sort this out. I made my way outside to speak to her.

She was leaning against her car, with her back to the house. Just as I was in calling distance of her, my phone rang out from my pocket. For fuck's sake, why now!

I snatched it out, fully intending to cancel the call. I froze as I saw Emily's name flashing up on the display. I glanced up at Emily. She had turned around at the sound of my ring-tone, and I could see that she had her own mobile pressed to her ear. She was calling me.

Except she wasn't, was she? She was calling Ultra Woman.

Emily frowned as her eyes landed on the phone ringing in my hands.

"Answer it" she said firmly. I just shook my head, unsure of what to do. From then on everything seemed to happen in slow motion, as though the whole world was watching our drama unfold. Emily moved around her car until she was right in front of me. She reached out to take my mobile from my hands. I can move faster than a speeding bullet, but I didn't try to stop her. I felt like I was hurtling towards the inevitable, and there were no more denials to be made. Emily looked down at my phone and saw her own name on the screen. Her frown deepened as she looked up sharply at me.

"What are you doing with this?" She demanded. Then her brow smoothed over as she continued to stare at me. She looked at me as though she was really seeing me for the first time. She cancelled the call on my phone, before handing it back to me. Then with halting movements, she reached up towards my glasses. She slid them carefully from my eyes. Still I made no effort to stop her.

"Fuck" she muttered under her breath as she stared at my unadorned face.

"Emily, I know you must have so much that you want to say to me right now" I began, not having a clue how to handle this. Like a petulant child throwing a tantrum, Emily pulled back her foot and kicked me hard on the shin. I gasped in shock at the contact.

"And don't pretend that hurt" she snapped.

* * *

><p><strong>So, were you expecting the big revelation yet?<strong>

**And remember: n****o refunds, and no magic kisses to make her forget that it ever happened. Oh, and no HG Wells showing up in a time machine to drop her back to before this even happened.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Well thank you so much for the response to the last chapter. Those of you that commented on the reveal seemed to like the way it happened. I know I could have done it in a much more dramatic way, but somehow this way just felt more in keeping with the story. As ever though: if you disagree, please feel free to give your opinion - constructively!**

**Some of you said that you liked the final line of the chapter, too. That was a quote straight from The New Adventures of Superman - Lois said that to Clark the first time she found out. (She found out at least 3 seperate times - rather forgetful woman, that Lois!) But I replaced a slap across the face with a kick in the shins - I liked the childishness of that more. There is another aproximate quote from the show in this chapter too for those that want to look out for it.**

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry." It sounded so pathetic, but it was as good a place as any to start. Emily didn't seem to hear me. She shook her head gently.<p>

"I'm an idiot. I'm a total fucking idiot. I can't believe I fell for such a stupid disguise!" She looked down in bewilderment at my glasses, still held loosely in her grasp. Remembering that we were in a public street, I held my hand out for them. She handed them back, and I quickly slipped them on. Emily watched me as I did so, and gave a disbelieving snort as I returned them to my face. "How could I miss it?"

"Effy says people don't see what they're not looking for." I drifted into silence as I realised that my words had caused Emily to frown.

"So Effy knows?" She asked. I nodded.

"Effy's my best friend. I've known her since I was a kid." I stared at Emily closely, trying to gauge just how mad at me she was. "Emily, I said there were some things that I couldn't tell you…"

"But I didn't expect it to be _this!_" She snapped. Who else knows?" Before I could answer, a thought suddenly occurred to Emily. "Does Emka know?" She asked with a sneer. "I bet the two of you have been laughing at me behind my back this whole time."

Ah.

"Well you're welcome to each other" she muttered sadly. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she furiously rubbed them away. Before I had further chance to react, Emily climbed into her car, slamming the door shut after her.

"Emily, please!" I called desperately as I tapped on the window. She just ignored me. She started the engine and drove swiftly away from the house.

Without pausing to think about what I was doing, I rose into the air to watch her. Emily was very upset, and I didn't like the idea of her driving home in that state. I followed her journey cautiously, far enough away to remain unseen, but close enough that I could dart in to help if there were any problems.

She reached Robenna Mansion without any incident, and I breathed a little easier. Emily stormed from the car into the house, clearly very upset. With my x-ray vision, I watched her move through the building until she was in her own room. She threw herself down onto the bed and began to cry. My heart broke to think that I was the cause of so much unhappiness. Unable to stop myself, I landed on her balcony and tapped on the patio door. Soon it was opened by a scowling Emily.

"That's not fair!" She snapped. "I can't even storm away from you!"

"Emily please, you have to listen to me" I begged. "There _is_ no Emka! You're the only girl I've been dating." Emily's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"No Emka? But you…"

"I made her up!" I explained hastily. "You asked if I was seeing someone. You saw that I was happy, remember? That's because I was seeing _you_. I had to tell you something, so I gave you the first name that sprang to mind." Emily shook her head and stormed back inside her bedroom. I followed her in there. "Did she even sound plausible?" I asked. I had always been baffled that Emily had fallen for that whole story. "A six foot blonde Swede who plays in a Roxette tribute band? Emily, I'm in love with _you_. I don't want anyone else." Emily plunged both of her hands up into her hair.

"Don't! Don't say that!" She demanded.

"But it's true" I urged, as firmly as I could. "Emily, I'm in love with you. There is no Emka." Emily sighed, and sank forlornly down onto her bed.

"You still lied to me! From the moment I first met you… met _her_… Ultra Woman… I mean…" she sighed again, and closed her eyes. "I don't even know you. _Either_ of you."

"Yes you do" I insisted. "Emily, they're both me, okay? Every time we've been together, it's been the real me."

"But I thought you were two different people! I thought I was going mad, falling for two different women!"

"But they're both me, so this way you get the best of both worlds." Okay wait - that sounded much more arrogant than I meant it to.

"Lucky me!" She snapped, her voice heavy with irony. "Two girlfriends rolled into one. And they're _both_ liars."

"I never meant to lie to you" I said gently. "But I told you from the start that there were some things I couldn't tell you."

"Just leave me alone" she muttered, with such resignation in her voice.

"Emily, please…" She rose quickly back to her feet.

"I don't want to see you right now. I need some time to think and I want you to go." She stared firmly at me as she spoke, and I could see that there was no arguing with her. Clinging on to the fact that she hadn't said I was dumped, I left her room the same way I entered it, and flew straight home.

I got quickly changed, then headed round to see Effy. She was sat in the sitting room and along with Anthea was rooting through the papers we had copied in Harriet's office. Tony was also there, but he didn't seem to be helping.

"I think we might have found something" said Effy, barely looking up from her work. "So you will probably be able to tell Emily everything pretty soon."

"Actually…" Effy looked up sharply at my guilty tone.

"Naomi, you didn't!" I shook my head.

"No, I didn't. Emily figured it out. She saw through my cunning disguise." I snatched my glasses off and threw them carelessly down on the coffee table. Tony frowned at me.

"Naomi, has anyone ever told you that without your specs, you look _remarkably_ like Ultra Woman?" Not in the mood for Tony's particular brand of humour, I just shot him a death-glare.

Not literally.

"So Emily now hates me" I muttered as I sank dejectedly onto the sofa.

"I'm sure she doesn't _hate_ you" said Anthea gently. "She probably just severely dislikes you for misleading her all this time. And she's probably unspeakably angry with you for not telling her the truth yourself. And she's bound to be thoroughly pissed off at _herself_ that she didn't work it out sooner, which will no doubt present itself as resentment towards _you_. So she may not speak to you ever again, but I doubt if she actually _hates_ you." She gave my knee a reassuring pat.

"Thanks, I feel so much better now" I told her, adding an eye-roll in case she missed my sarcastic tone. "How do I get her back?" I asked the room in general.

"It's simple" said Tony with a shrug. "Rescue her. Then she'll swoon into your arms, and the two of you can fly off into the sunset."

"But she's not in danger. Are you suggesting that I wait around, desperately praying for some horrible accident to befall my girlfriend?" Tony shook his head, like he was explaining something to a simpleton.

"You can't sit around waiting for things to happen, Naomi. You've got to _make_ them happen."

"Right, and here was me thinking that it was a shit plan." Tony continued undaunted.

"Put her in a situation where she will have a near-fatal accident, then at the last second, you swoop in and save the day!" He beamed proudly at his own suggestion. Fuck me, he's actually serious!

"I'm not putting Emily in danger just to win her back!" I declared. Tony frowned at me.

"Well you don't let her know that it was you that _caused_ the accident" he said, completely missing what my problem with his plan was. I sighed, and rubbed my eyes.

"Tony, you might think that kind of manipulation is acceptable, but I don't." He shrugged dismissively.

"It's what I'd do all the time to get women into bed, if I had your powers."

"The female population rejoices that you _don't_ have my powers" I told him dryly.

"Will she keep it a secret?" Asked Effy in sudden alarm. "If she's really mad at you, what if she tells everyone?"

"She won't" I answered. I felt pretty certain on that point. I knew that Emily wouldn't use her anger at me as an excuse to put me and the people around me in any danger.

"What makes you so sure?"

"I know her, she won't do that!" I insisted firmly. Anxious to change the subject, I pointed at the papers that Effy was going through. "So what have you found then?" I asked. Effy plucked a paper from the ones scattered about and handed it to me. I quickly scanned its contents. It was the deed of sale for the building that housed the soup kitchen. Smith Holdings were now the new owners, and the signature on the document clearly said 'Emily Fitch, Managing Director'. I let out a sigh.

"Check the date" said Effy, firmly. I glanced at the date that the document was signed. It was from a couple of weeks ago, and seemed like it should ring a bell for some reason.

"That's the date of that big pile-up on the motorway" I told Effy, frowning with the effort of remembering. She nodded.

"And the date that we were all cleaning the soup kitchen, remember?" I gave an exasperated snort.

"So we were trying to get the place fit for use again, and all the while those bastards were selling it!" Effy glared at me impatiently.

"That's not the part to focus on. Emily was with us all day, wasn't she?" My expression brightened as I realised that Effy was right. She continued. "You went off to help out at the pile-up, but I stayed there, and so did Emily. All of the paperwork, the bank-drafts, the legal documents - they were all put through on that same day. Emily just wouldn't have had the time!"

"So someone else must have forged her signature" I added, finally feeling up to speed with Effy's logic. She nodded, pleased that I had got it. I tossed the paper aside. "I knew she was innocent" I muttered, sullenly. "If I hadn't of listened to you, I would have told Emily the truth already and she wouldn't be pissed off at me!"

"We had to be sure" said Effy defensively. "And I'm sure she'll calm down. Eventually." She didn't sound particularly convinced of that, so I crossed my arms and threw her a scowl.

"Are you staying for dinner, Naomi?" Asked Anthea, rising to her feet. "I'm making home-made curry." I stared at her in surprise. Anthea's culinary skills were notoriously non-existent, and I was convinced that none of their kitchen cupboards held anything that resembled cooking ingredients.

"Home-made?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She shrugged.

"Well, I'll be at home when I open the jar." I chuckled. That was about right – since the Stonem's normally only ate take-aways, anything that came out of a packet or a jar could be considered 'home-cooking'.

"No thanks Anthea." I didn't feel like the Stonem family were really the best people to help me out of my depressed mood. "I think I'll just go home and slash my wrists instead" I grumbled. "Oh wait - I can't even do _that_ because my skin is impervious! I have the worst luck."

* * *

><p>Some time later, I shuffled home again. I found mum in the kitchen, spreading out some washing.<p>

"Hello love. What happened with Emily?" She asked.

"She figured it out, and now she hates me" I muttered, as I sank into a chair. I quickly filled mum in on the details of what had happened earlier with Emily. She shook her head sadly.

"I told you all that deception wasn't good for you." I just grimaced at her unhelpfulness. "The truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Everything always comes out in the wash, that's what my old mum used to say." She peered down at the super-suit clutched in her hands and frowned. "Except for jam, apparently. What the hell have you been doing to get jam all over your arse?" I opened my mouth to explain, but mum cut across me with a wave of her hand. "Never mind, I'm sure I don't want to know."

"I sat on a sandwich" I answered with a sigh. "I wasn't using it as some kind of weird sex aid!" Mum chuckled.

"Naomi, you should try being more adventurous sometime. Jam's not that weird!" She gazed wistfully off into the middle distance. "I remember a fun evening with some barbeque sauce, recently."

"I don't want to know!" I snapped. I really didn't need any more information about mum and Kieran's sex-life!

Mum threw my suit back into the basket, and sat down next to me at the table.

"I'm sure Emily will calm down, once the initial shock has worn off" she said softly.

"She wouldn't even listen to me" I grumbled.

"Well, first she needs time to process it, and then she needs to know that you're truly sorry for keeping it all from her."

"So you think I should crawl back to her on bended knee and beg for forgiveness?" I asked, feeling a tiny iota of hope that this wasn't a lost cause.

"No dear, you should fly. It's much faster."

* * *

><p>"We're going out tonight" Effy declared. I just shook my head. I hadn't heard from Emily since I left her room yesterday, and I wasn't in the mood for a night out. Effy continued to stare at me.<p>

"No."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you had important moping around to do."

"I'm not moping" I argued. Effy smirked at me, knowing as well as I did that it was a big fat lie. She walked over to my wardrobe and threw it open.

"Fuck's sake" she muttered, as half a dozen super-suits fell down on top of her. She kicked them aside, before returning her attention to the contents of the wardrobe. "You have no decent clothes" she declared before closing it again. "Put on whatever your nicest things are, and we're going out."

"Effy, I really don't feel like it" I whined, sensing that she wouldn't be easily dissuaded.

"I had a text from Panda" was her only answer, as she tossed her phone to me.

"You swapped numbers with Panda?" I asked in amazement. Effy shrugged.

"I like her." I looked down at her phone and brought up the last received message:

**Hi Effy! This is Pandora Moon here – Panda from the soup kitchen? Anyway, Just texting to see if you and Naomi fancy meeting us for a drink tonight. 'Us' being Emily, Katie and Thommo. And me too, but you probably figured that out already! Emily says she wants cheering up, but she didn't tell me what was wrong. Well, she didn't actually say anything, she just texted me, but you know what I mean. She's been dating that pink lady who flies, so I think they might of had an argument. I'm not sure what about though, but I'm sure she'll tell us all about it later. So I'm guessing she won't be there. The flying lady I mean, not Emily. Emily will be there - unless she has to cancel for some reason, but I don't think she will. It should be a good night - it would be bonkers if you 2 can come as well! So if you fancy it, we will be meeting at the Cock And Balls pub on the High Street from 8. Oh, and don't forget to tell Naomi too! Will you be there? Bye for now!**

Wow, that girl really doesn't do anything in brief!

"The Cock And Balls?" I asked.

"I guess she means the Cock and Bull. We should go – Emily will be there." I thought it over, and decided that it could be good to 'bump into' Emily tonight.

"Fine, I'll go" I said, tossing Effy's phone back to her. I watched as she typed out a simple reply to Panda's lengthy message:

**OK**

* * *

><p>We walked into the Cock And Bull pub shortly after eight. I had a moment of panic before we went in that I was doing the wrong thing. Emily had told me that she wanted time to think, yet here I was barging in on her night out. What if she just turned straight around and left? But before I could go back on my decision, Effy grabbed my arm and marched us both inside. Everyone else had already arrived. As we walked up to their table, Emily frowned at me.<p>

"What are you doing here?" She demanded.

"I invited them!" Answered Panda. "You don't mind do you, Emsy? You told me that you and Naomi are good friends." Emily hesitated. She must have been inwardly debating how to act so that the others didn't get suspicious.

"Yeah, of course" she answered at last. "Hi Naomi." She didn't meet my gaze as she said my name, but at least it was a start. The others seemed to miss her coldness.

After getting some drinks, Effy and I sat down at the table. I saw Katie casting her eyes up and down me.

"Do you have _any_ nice clothes?" She asked.

"No, she doesn't" answered Effy, curtly. I glanced down at my outfit. I had tried to make an effort tonight. I had left my super-suit at home so that I could wear a skirt and show off my legs for once. The only problem with that was that I didn't have very many nice skirts. The best I could find finished about three inches below my knees, making it the sort of length that only grannies seemed to wear. But it had a floral print, which I thought was rather pretty. I hadn't thought it looked too bad when I put it on, but now I was having second thoughts. Katie shook her head sadly.

"Effy babe, you've got to get her sorted out, yeah?" Effy gave a lop-sided shrug.

"I've tried. She's a lost cause." I scowled at the two of them.

"Yeah, thank you bloody Trinny and Susannah."

Panda chuckled, before turning to face Emily.

"So what's up?" She asked with concern. "You were telling us that you had a row with Ultra Woman, but you didn't say what it was about yet."

"I found out she was keeping secrets from me" she said, throwing a greasy look discreetly in my direction.

"But she told you that from the start" I argued. All eyes on the table turned towards me. "Er, I mean… that's what you told me she said" I added. Emily scoffed.

"Yeah, but I didn't know it would be _this_!"

"Surely that's the point of her keeping it a secret?" Asked Effy with a smirk. Emily opened her mouth to say more, but quickly closed it again.

"What secrets was she keeping?" Asked Thomas. Emily's eyes snapped instantly to meet mine. I held my breath for a moment, although I felt sure that she wasn't about to reveal anything that she shouldn't. Sure enough, she glanced uncertainly down at her drink.

"I can't tell you" she muttered. I breathed once more, and shot an 'I told you so' look at Effy.

"But if you can't tell us, then she must have had good reason for keeping it a secret" I said boldly, rather pleased with my own logic. Emily's eyes met mine again, this time with a steeliness to them.

"But I'm her girlfriend. She should have trusted me."

"She _does_ trust you, but she didn't even know you at first. She can hardly spill everything on the first date!"

"But she didn't need to _lie_ to me!"

The others at the table watched mine and Emily's exchange back and forth like a tennis match.

"She didn't lie to you, she just… withheld certain truths" I argued. Emily shook her head in disbelief. Then as if changing the subject, she smiled sweetly at me.

"How's Emka?" She asked with emphasis. "Couldn't she make it tonight?" Unable to think of a response to that, I stayed silent. Emily grinned at me in triumph.

"I'm sure she had her reasons" said Thomas. "She's clearly very good hearted, and I'm sure she only wants to do the right thing."

"Whose side are you on?" Grumbled Emily.

"There are different levels of lying" I ventured.

"I know that!" Said Emily, exasperated. "But this was hardly a little white lie, was it? A white lie is something like: 'you're right Katie, animal prints _never_ go out of fashion'."

"Hey!"

Emily continued, ignoring her sister's exclamation.

"But this was somewhat bigger than that, wasn't it!"

"I've known Ultra Woman a long time" said Effy suddenly. "And with one exception, I probably know her better than anybody." All attention was focused on my best friend. I smiled fondly at her, knowing that she was about to defend me. I just hope she doesn't make me blush with all her praise. "She can be a real idiot at times" she continued. I stared at her – what kind of a defence was this? "And she doesn't always think about the consequences of her actions. She's the strongest person on the planet, so she finds it hard to admit when she's in need of help. She's really stubborn, she's very sarcastic, and she doesn't have much in the way of people skills. She finds it hard to trust people, and she always…"

"Do you have a point?" I growled, beginning to lose patience. Effy gave me a small smile of apology.

"Yeah, sorry. My point is that despite the secrets that she _has_ to keep, she's the most honest person that I know. She is loyal, she always tries to do the right thing, and she really, really cares." She fixed her gaze firmly on Emily. "I know she's sorry for the way things worked out, but I also know that she _never_ meant to hurt you." A slightly stunned silence descended across the table. Not least because that was probably the most words that Effy had strung together _ever_. I stared at Emily hoping to see what her reaction was, but she was resolutely avoiding my gaze.

"And she looks fucking _bizarre_ in that pink suit!" Added Katie with a broad grin. What the fuck is this, national 'have a go at me' day?

"Yeah, I think we'd _finished_ the bad points, Katie" I grumbled.

"And she makes this strange noise at the back of her throat when she's eating" added Emily, with a smug grin in my direction. Katie and Effy both added their agreement. I just sat there grimacing at the three of them.

Fortunately the conversation soon moved on to other subjects and Ultra Woman was not mentioned again. Emily spoke politely to me when she had to, but otherwise avoided any contact with me. After a little while, I saw her slip outside for some fresh air. I took my chance and followed her out there.

"So, did you write Effy's little speech for her?" She asked when she spotted me.

"I wish I had" I told her with a chuckle. "It would have been slightly less insulting." I turned to look at her, and took in every beautiful feature of her face. The slight curve of her nose, the fullness of her lips, the wonderfully expressive nature of her gorgeous eyes. She is the most amazing woman that it has ever been my good fortune to meet. Whatever it takes, I have to make her see that. "Emily I'm so sorry."

"You should have told me" she answered, with surliness in her voice. I sighed.

"I really did want to" I insisted. "I was going to last Wednesday, remember? And when I came round on Sunday night I was going to tell you everything."

"Why didn't you then?" Asked Emily with suspicion.

"Because you told me you were falling for someone else! I didn't know you were falling for _me_!" Emily shook her head firmly.

"No, I don't mean on Sunday. Why didn't you tell me last Wednesday?" She stared at me, waiting for a response. Then she suddenly frowned in recollection. "Effy called you. What was so urgent about that phone call that meant you had to leave?"

I felt my shoulders sag, as I wondered how best to answer that. Perhaps I could make light of it.

"It's pretty funny, actually" I said with a grin. "You'll laugh at this. You see we've been looking into those fires, and _Effy_ thought that you were… er, well… possibly the criminal mastermind behind the whole thing." I added a casual shrug, like suspecting your girlfriend of being an arsonist was a common enough mistake.

"What!" Emily's eyes went wide with shock. Needless to say, she wasn't laughing.

"Oh, it's okay!" I added hastily. "We realised we made a mistake. We know now that it wasn't you, it was just your mother." Shit. Emily's eyes narrowed at me.

"So you thought I was behind those fires but now its okay, because you think it's my _mother_?"

"Well, yeah. And maybe your father, too." Oh God! I'm really going to have to practice saying things in my head, first.

"You're unbelievable" she muttered. "Any other accusations that you want to throw at my family? Do you suspect Katie of robbing banks? Has James been stealing people's identities on the internet?"

"I don't really look into internet fraud."

"Perhaps our cook is secretly a burglar, or maybe you suspect my hamster of being a serial killer."

"I didn't know you had a hamster."

"I _don't_ have a fucking hamster, Nai!" She snapped. "My point is that…" she sighed, and all of the fight seemed to leave her with that breath. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" she asked, quietly.

"Because I'm in love with you" I said, with all the sincerity I could muster. "And I know you have feelings for me too." With a chuckle, I added "You fell for me twice, after all."

"Yeah? Well whose fault's that?" She asked bitterly. She turned and headed back towards the pub. I made my mind up in an instant.

"I didn't come here to spoil your night" I said softly. "I'm going to go. Tell Effy to call me if she wants me to pick her up later." Emily turned back to face me. I felt sure there was a sadness in her eyes. She looked on the point of saying something, but instead she just nodded. I reached up and traced my fingers gently across her cheek. "I do love you Emily. That's the one thing that's never been a lie." With that, I turned away from her. With a quick glance around to make sure that no-one else was watching, I rose into the sky and flew gracefully away.

At least that was the plan. But an unfortunately timed gust of wind came along right at that moment, reminding me why I never usually wear skirts. It wasn't exactly how I had envisioned Emily seeing my knickers for the first time.

* * *

><p>I didn't go out much over the next few days. Whenever I wasn't flying around doing my usual super-hero thing, I was at home catching up on a number of chores and odd-jobs. Alright I'll level with you: I was indulging in some <em>serious<em> moping. I stared at my phone endlessly, willing Emily to call me. I re-read every single text message she had ever sent me, hoping that they wouldn't be the last. I even went as far as creating a new playlist on my ipod, full of soppy love-ballads - though I avoided any Roxette songs. In short, I was a mess.

By Friday, I had resorted to renting every single chick-flick that I could lay my hands on at the local DVD rental shop. If all of those women could get their happy endings, then surely I had a chance of one too?

I was sat on the sofa debating between watching Sarah Jessica Parker make prat-falls or watching Jennifer Anniston pretend to be ugly, when the front door opened.

"Naomi, give me a hand with the shopping will you?" Called mum. I guess watching Hugh Grant trying to play a twenty year-old will have to wait. I rose to my feet and walked into the hallway.

"Mum, you should have told me you wanted some shopping - I'd have gone for you." I took the bags from her and made my way into the kitchen.

"Oh, its okay. It all fit easily into the boot of Emily's car."

"What?" I dumped the bags down quickly and hurried back into the hallway. Emily was making her way through the front door, carrying some shopping. My mouth fell open at the sight of her. "Hi!" I managed to stammer out, my lips changing instantly into a smile.

"Hi." Her eyes didn't quite meet mine, but at least she was here.

"I bumped into Emily in town" said mum, breezily. "Isn't that a coincidence?"

"Where, exactly?" I asked sharply.

"In Fitch Corp Headquarters. Would you like a cup of tea?" Without even waiting for a response, mum sailed past me and into the kitchen.

"Oh, let me get those" I muttered, relieving Emily of the bags she was carrying.

"It's okay, but there's more in the car." I grinned at her.

"Yeah, I can manage those too." With one trip, I grabbed all the remaining bags and carried them through to the kitchen. Still feeling a little dazed that Emily was actually here, and hopefully wanting to talk to me, I couldn't think of a single thing to say.

"Sit yourselves down, girls" said mum, as she bustled about. We both did as she instructed. My eyes were fixed firmly on Emily the whole time, as if she would disappear the moment I looked away. Eventually, she raised her eyes up to meet mine.

"I thought we should talk" she said quietly. I nodded.

"Yeah, definitely." But we continued to sit in silence while mum made a pot of tea.

"Right, here we go" said mum, placing three mugs down on the kitchen table. She then put the tea pot and a jug of milk down, before pulling back a chair and sitting down with us. "Shall I pour?" Emily and I both stared at her, not saying a word.

"Mum!" I hissed, when I finally found my voice. I nodded towards the door, hoping that she would take the hint. She just frowned at me in confusion. "Emily and I need to talk" I told her through gritted teeth. "Alone!" I added for good measure. Finally, mum seemed to get what I was on about.

"Right!" She said, rising to her feet. "I guess I'll be in the other room, then."

"Sorry about her" I told Emily, as the door closed behind the retreating figure of my mother.

"She's nice" answered Emily with a smile. She had one hand resting on the table. Feeling brave, I reached across to take it with mine. I recoiled in horror though when instead of her soft skin, my hand landed in something congealed and sticky that had spilt on the table.

"Ew!" I said in disgust, jumping up to immediately wash my hands.

"It's just a bit of barbeque sauce!" Laughed Emily. I stared in horror at the kitchen table, as a myriad of unwanted mental images flooded my brain. So _that's_ what Keiran and my mother get up to when I'm out of the house? dear God, I am _never_ eating off that thing again!

Trying hard to suppress all such thoughts, I sat back down opposite Emily.

"So, you said you wanted to talk?" I asked, aware of how hopeful my voice sounded.

"Yeah. Your mum talked me into it" she said with a grin. Great! My life is now _so_ pathetic that I need my mum to help out in my love life! "She told me a little about what your life has been like" continued Emily. "About how you've always had to hide what you can do from the rest of the world." She paused, and stared at me with an expression that I just couldn't fathom. "And she said you're a much less narky bitch, since you met me." I chuckled. I could well imagine mum saying that. "So I thought that I should at least listen to what you have to say for yourself."

I grinned at her. This was all I had been hoping for - a chance to explain. As Emily stared at me expectantly, I felt sure that we could still make this work.

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope Emily turning up to talk didn't seem too rushed, but as I've said before my intention is not to have a lot of angst in this story. Besides, it's not like it was in Best Served Cold: Naomi did have good reason in this story for keeping secrets, and it makes sense to me that Emily would be reasonable after the initial shock has worn off.<strong>

**Let me know what you think! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Well hello there! It's been a while, hasn't it? I make no apologies for that, because we're all entitled to let 'real life' interfere every now and then.**

**I wish I had a longer or a better chapter here for you since it's been so long, but sadly this is all I have. I kinda struggled over this one a little, but I felt sure that if I could just push through it that things would flow a little quicker on the other side of it.**

**I hope its not as bad as I suspect it is...**

* * *

><p>"So what do you want to know?" I asked somewhat nervously.<p>

"Start at the beginning" answered Emily with a shrug. I sat in silent contemplation for a moment, wondering where to begin. At last, I took a deep breath.

"Okay. Billions of years ago, there was a big explosion in space…" I stopped abruptly as Emily narrowed her eyes at me. "This is what Effy meant when she said I'm too sarcastic, isn't it?" I asked. She nodded firmly. "Sorry." I set about pouring us each a mug of tea – stalling for time. I watched Emily over the rim of my mug as we both took a sip of our drinks. "You must realise that I have to be careful who I share my secrets with, right?" I asked at last. Emily sighed.

"I understand that, Naoms. But you sought me out as yourself not long after I'd met you as Ultra Woman – that's what really pisses me off! Unless you're going to claim that it was just a coincidence that I met you?" I shook my head gently. I wanted to lay everything out on the level for Emily, so there was no point in claiming that I hadn't known that she would be at that soup kitchen.

"I didn't know what else to do" I explained, desperately. "I thought you hated me as Ultra Woman. You seemed to have your mind already made up about me, so I figured that I had to get to know you another way."

"You hardly knew anything about me!" Snapped Emily. "What made you so intent on getting to know me?"

"I can't really explain it. There was just something about you that made me want to get to know you better." I stared at Emily, willing her to see how sincere I was being. "Have you ever met someone and just felt a connection to them straight away? Like… you can't really define it, you just know that they're someone really special?" Emily's gaze faltered to the table.

"Not really" she muttered with a shrug.

"Well that's how I felt when I met you, so I wanted you to get to know the real me." I stared at her, but she wouldn't lift her eyes back up to meet mine.

"So why the big act?" She asked with a sigh.

"What act?"

"You know: the whole babbling, word vomiting, social-misfit thing?" Now it was my turn to look away.

"That wasn't an act" I muttered. Not for the first time, I felt very embarrassed about what a jabbering idiot I had become as myself in front of Emily.

"But you're not like that as Ultra Woman" she answered with a frown.

"It's hard to explain" I began slowly. "It's different when I'm Ultra Woman. I turn up in the costume and everyone expects me to be in control. They assume that I know what to do and what to say, so somehow I just _do_. But when I meet people without the suit on, I'm just Naomi. I'm nothing special, I'm just… me."

"That doesn't mean you're not special" said Emily softly. I smiled gratefully at her. She smiled back at me and I wondered if this was the beginnings of a thaw in her manner. But almost as soon as it had arrived, her smile disappeared. "You talked me into dating you" she said with a sudden scowl. "As Naomi, you persuaded me to go out with Ultra Woman."

"I just said you should give her a chance!" I argued. "I didn't talk you into anything!"

"And you let me tell you all about our dates as well! Stuff that I would never have said to you if I'd known that you were Ultra Woman!"

I sat in silence as I began to realise why Emily had gotten so mad at me. In a certain light, my actions could be taken as attempts to manipulate her right from the start. That had never been my intention at all. I reached forward, took her hand with mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Emily, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to get that complicated - honestly. I didn't realise that you actually _liked_ me as Ultra Woman and that we'd start dating!" I let out a sigh and closed my eyes. "Everything just seemed to happen so quickly, and before I knew it I'd gotten myself into a right mess with it all." I was relieved to hear Emily let out a chuckle.

"Yeah. All that stuff about Emka? I'm still amazed that I believed it all." I gave her a small smile in answer.

"Lying to you was the last thing I wanted to do, but it was the only way I could spend time with you as myself" I insisted. "And I wanted to spend every chance I got with you." Emily smiled softly at me, and once again I saw signs that I was making progress.

"Well I'm glad Emka's not real" she said with a playful grin. "I don't think I could compete with her." I scoffed at that.

"Are you kidding me? Six foot blondes do nothing for me. Personally, I have a thing for petite red-heads." Emily giggled.

"Speak for yourself. I'm rather partial to tall blondes from far off lands."

Our eyes met and we gazed fixedly at each other. There was a definite warmth to the air between us, and I longed to keep it going with a witty, flirtatious comment.

So naturally, my mind was a complete blank.

Instead, I just stared goofily at Emily, delighting in the fact that I could do so. I drank in every inch of her beautiful face, and reflected on just how much feeling she had evoked in me in such a short space of time.

"Are you staying for dinner, Emily love?" Asked mum, bustling into the kitchen and shattering our moment.

"If you're sure it's no trouble?"

"Of course not. Why don't you two set the table, then you can go through to the sitting room and I'll have dinner ready in a flash."

"Set _this_ table?" I asked, while frowning down at the kitchen table. I wasn't exactly in a hurry to ever touch that thing again after finding out about mum and Kieran's 'antics' on it.

"Yes Naomi, unless you think we have another table stashed away somewhere?"

Emily and I quickly set the table, before heading through to the other room.

"Can Gina fly too?" Asked Emily with a frown as we sat down on the sofa.

"Only when she's smoked too much of Kieran's giggle-weed" I answered with a grin. "I'm adopted" I added, by way of explanation.

* * *

><p>Dinner passed by very pleasantly. The atmosphere felt quite relaxed, and an easy conversation flowed back and forth between Emily, mum, Kieran and myself.<p>

After we had eaten, we moved through to the sitting room. I nipped to the bathroom briefly. I swear I was only gone for a few minutes, but as soon as I returned I realised my mistake in leaving my mother to her own devices with Emily. Yes, the dreaded baby photos had emerged. I walked back into the room to find the three of them giggling over a box of mum's most mortifying keepsakes.

"What are you doing?" I demanded sharply. Mum just smirked at me. "I thought I'd put them where you couldn't reach them" I grumbled.

"Oh, is that why they were on top of that really tall cupboard? I had a job getting them down from there."

Emily beamed up at me.

"Don't pout Nai, I think you looked really cute as a baby." Unable to deny Emily anything, I sank onto the sofa without any further protest.

"Besides, I don't get to show them to people very often" added mum. I could hardly argue with her over that. You can't exactly share photos of your child flying round the house on Facebook.

"What's happening here?" Asked Emily, plucking another snapshot from the pile. Mum shuffled closer to her to take a look.

"That was the school play one year. Naomi was home-schooled, but I didn't want her to miss out on things like drama. We put on our own production of The Importance Of Being Earnest that year, with Naomi cast in every single role." Emily chuckled and peered more closely at the photo.

"My Lady Bracknell received rave reviews in the school paper" I informed her, my chest swelling with pride. There was no need to point out that I was the sole contributor to that particular paper. "But the costume changes were a bit of a pain."

"Did you really change back and forth between all the costumes?" Asked Emily in amazement. I nodded.

"Yep, I can change clothes faster that David and Dania on speed."

"I wish Katie would get changed that quickly." Emily turned slightly to face my mother. "So Naomi was home-schooled? What was she like as a pupil?" Her eyes were alight with an eagerness to discover more about me.

"She was such a bright student" gushed Gina happily. "She did really well on all of her finals. She got an A plus on her 'Recycling: The Planet Is Our Friend' exam." Emily cast a questioning glance in my direction, clearly wondering if my mother was for real. I just shrugged in answer.

"And what was she like as a kid?" Pushed Emily. My mother grinned, clearly delighted to have someone quizzing her on her favourite subject.

"She could be a real handful sometimes" she answered, warming to her topic. "Most families child-proof their house to keep the _child_ safe, but in our case it was to keep our _possessions_ safe! She was always causing damage to something."

"My brother James once put a slice of toast into the video recorder" said Emily. Mum shook her head gently.

"That's nothing. At the age of two, Naomi put our TV on top of the roof. It took me three whole weeks to figure out what she'd done with it!" She chuckled nostalgically. "And when she got older she was always bringing home stray animals and wanting us to keep them."

"I used to do that!" Declared Emily. "Once I found a mouse outside. I swear, I thought mum would never get down from the dinning-room table!"

"Naomi brought a lion home once. I still don't know where on earth she got it from, but she insisted that she wanted to keep it as a friend for her cat. It tore through the sitting room in no time, and ate anything that came within a hundred yards of it."

"Poor Miss Kitty Fantastico" I muttered sadly, remembering my long-gone domestic pet.

"What on earth did you do with the lion?" Asked Emily. Mum instantly flushed scarlet.

"Well, I er… I released it back into the wild of course."

"In Bristol?"

"I er… I forget exactly what we…"

"Mother, you know exactly what happened to the lion!" I insisted. I turned to Emily to explain. "She waited until night-time then made _me_ do all the dirty work! She told me to sneak it into the office of the managing director for some big corporation. Apparently, they had been logging in an ecologically sensitive area, with no concern for the local habitation."

"They're now an industry leader on environmental concerns" beamed mum proudly.

We continued to go through the photos with enthusiasm. Every so often, mum would share more stories and anecdotes about what our life had been like together. Emily took a really keen interest in hearing as much detail about me as possible.

"What's this one?" She asked, pulling another snap from the box. From where I was sitting I couldn't make out what was on it. Mum gazed at it.

"Oh, bath time!"

Shit.

I thought I had successfully destroyed any and all nude pictures of me! I reached forward and snatched the offending picture from Emily's hand.

"I don't think we need to keep this one!" I said, as I used my heat-vision to set light to it. Not realising what I was doing, Emily reached forward to take the picture back from me. Her fingers closed around it just as it burst into flames. She withdrew her hand sharply, wincing in pain. Quickly, I blew on the flames to extinguish them.

"Emily, I'm so sorry!" I garbled. "I didn't realise you would grab it like that!"

"Its okay, it was an accident" she muttered, cradling her fingers with her other hand. I felt a sickening feeling of guilt as I looked down at her rapidly blistering hand.

"It's just a little burn!" Insisted mum. "Run it under the cold tap." She dragged Emily to her feet and led her through to the kitchen. I followed them, hovering helplessly behind as mum administered first aid to Emily's fingers. I continued to babble my apologies, but Emily kept telling me that it was okay. "There! All fixed up" declared mum once she had finished. "Naomi's never had any injuries at all - no burns or scratches – so she doesn't understand how the rest of us just get used to the little things like this." Emily grinned at me.

"Naoms, it's really okay. I'll live!" I smiled sheepishly at her, but still continued to feel guilty. "I'd better get going though" she added, apologetically.

After she said goodbye to mum and Kieran, I walked Emily to the front door. We stood awkwardly together, not sure on how best to say goodbye. I really wanted to give her a goodnight kiss, but I didn't dare. Sure, things had seemed very relaxed between us throughout the evening, but this was still very new territory for Emily. I wasn't sure where our boundaries lay anymore. Emily too seemed unsure. Her eyes darted nervously around the hallway landing on anything but me.

"So will I hear from you sometime?" I asked, before inwardly cursing myself for how pathetic that sounded. Emily nodded.

"Sure. I'll call you sometime." I smiled softly at her, but felt somewhat crest-fallen at the uncertainty of it all. "Bye Naoms." Emily seemed to hesitate for a second, before turning and walking through the open door. I watched until her car was out of sight, unable to ignore the bubbling sadness in the pit of my stomach at the distinct lack of warmth in our goodbye. Then I closed the door and went back into the sitting room. Mum looked dismayed to see me.

"Well _that_ was a quick goodbye kiss! Is that all she gets?"

I sank dejectedly onto the sofa.

"I didn't kiss her. I wasn't sure that she wanted me to." Mum frowned at me.

"Oh. But you at least asked her out again though, right?" I shook my head, but couldn't raise my eyes to see mum's expression. Why the hell had I not thought of that? I should at the very least have asked Emily on another date! "Well, you'll just have to go straight round there then, once she's had time to get home" said mum brusquely.

"I can't do that!" I argued. "She'll think I'm totally pathetic if I go round there straight away with no reason!" Mum gave me a twinkly-eyed smile.

"Then you'll just have to return this to her then, won't you?" She said, waving Emily's phone at me. I opened my mouth to ask if she had deliberately taken it in order to give me such an excuse, but then I figured that I was probably better off not knowing. How lovely though, to think that my mother had so much faith in me that she had been quite certain that I would fuck things up.

A short while later, I found myself on Emily's balcony tapping on the patio doors. She seemed surprised but not unhappy to see me as she let me in.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as I followed her into her room. I returned her phone and explained what had happened. Though I omitted my mothers possible role in it's misplacement.

"Maybe I left it there subconsciously" said Emily softly. Yes, that scenario was infinitely preferable to my mother being a secret kleptomaniac. Spurred on by her words, I decided to take the plunge.

"Will you go out with me tomorrow?" I asked quickly, before I lost my nerve. Emily smiled, and seemed to relax a little.

"Okay then." I guess she had been waiting for me to ask her. "On one condition" she added suddenly.

"Anything." And I really meant it. I would grant Emily anything she asked in order to get that date with her.

"I want _you_ to take me out, okay?" I frowned at her, unsure of her meaning. She quickly explained herself. "I want to go out with ordinary Naomi." I nodded. "No flying me off to Italy, no cape, no heroics… just you and me on an ordinary, regular date. Okay?" I grinned broadly at her. For the first time in my life I was about to have a date with a girl who actually wanted me to leave the super-hero stuff behind. Could she get any more perfect?

"Okay. A regular date, just you and me." Emily sat down on the small sofa in her room. She smiled at me in a clear invitation to join her. Happily, I complied.

"Why do I get the feeling that being your girlfriend is going to be… eventful?" She asked. My smile stretched even wider. Emily referring to herself as my girlfriend – me, and not Ultra Woman - made my heart sing with joy. That is until I glanced down and spotted the angry red mark across her fingers.

"How's your hand?" I asked, the familiar feeling of guilt prickling up again.

"It really hurts" she answered with a pained grimace. Then after a moment's hesitation, she added: "Don't you have any super powers that can fix it?"

I stared at her, as her words sank in. I smiled as I remembered what she was referring to: my first, stolen kiss from her the night that the soup kitchen caught fire.

"Well… I could kiss you…" I ventured, keeping the reference going. Emily bit her lip, as though considering my suggestion.

"And will that help?" She asked at last. I shrugged.

"It might take your mind of it a bit."

"Okay."

Slowly, hardly even daring to believe my luck, I moved closer. As my lips met Emily's, I felt complete once more. Had it really only been five days since I had kissed her last? She deepened the kiss, both of us seeming to just sink into it. I reached a hand up to trail a gentle path across her cheek. I moaned as Emily's arms slipped around me, pulling me closer. We shared passionate but unhurried kisses for a few minutes.

"You're right, my hand feels much better now" murmured Emily once we eventually broke apart. She frowned suddenly, before staring down at her lap. "Naoms, I lied to you earlier" she said. I bit my lip and waited patiently for her to explain. "When you asked if I've ever felt a connection to someone straight away? I _have_ felt that. When I first met you - that time you gave me and Katie a lift home. I know I didn't show it, but I felt that same connection that you talked about." I couldn't think of a single thing to say that could adequately express how happy her words made me feel. So I opted to put my lips to an altogether better use. I surged forward and kissed her for all I was worth.

* * *

><p>Some time later, I reluctantly decided that I should go. I didn't want to push my luck with Emily by outstaying my welcome. But with the promise of a date the following day, I felt in a much lighter mood than when I had arrived. Things were moving forward again between us, and I couldn't see a single cloud looming on the horizon ahead.<p>

"So I'll see you tomorrow then?" I said, as I turned to go.

"Yeah." Emily nodded. "And we still have loads to talk about. Don't forget that you still need to tell me why the fuck you think my mother is responsible for those fires!"

Shit.

Perhaps that sky is looking just a little bit overcast after all…

* * *

><p><strong>So for what it's worth, there you go.<strong>

**Did anyone spot the little magic reference in there? David and Dania are an illusion double-act that perform a really quite amazing quick-change act. I believe that they have appeared on America's Got Talent, so maybe a few of you might have seen their act.**

**Bye for now!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello again! **

**So I finally got the last episode of Skins series 6 watched, after leaving it on the recorder for well over a week. And not in a 'what on earth will I do once I've read The Deathly Hallows' kind of way. No, I was just completely uninterested. Which is a real shame, because I absolutely loved series 5. Sadly, series 6 has been universally dreadful in a way that no series of Skins has been before. I can't get excited about series 7 either, because I feel sure they're going to fuck up Naomily for us next.**

**But on with my story. I'm afraid I didn't have enough storyline to fill the whole chapter, so there's a section in the middle where everyone just dances in their pants for no apparent reason. I hope that's okay.**

* * *

><p>I stood outside the gates to Robenna Mansion, nervously shifting my weight from foot to foot. I was about to go out on a date with Emily as myself, and not as Ultra Woman. It was the first time I had gone on a date with anyone as myself, and in all honesty I felt naked without my super-suit. It may not offer me any <em>physical<em> protection, but in many ways it felt like my armour. When I'm in costume I'm the mighty Ultra Woman: fearless, bold… fanciable, even. Well, according to FHM magazine's 'Who's Hot' list anyway. But without my suit, I'm just plain old Naomi.

Okay, so I still had the super-suit with me. Like always, I was wearing it beneath my outer clothes like a second skin. But it was hidden away, tucked out of sight until my alter-ego may be required.

I took a deep, calming breath, before pressing a button on the security panel beside the gates. It buzzed then fell silent. There was a long pause before anything happened.

"Knickers."

I stared at the security panel with a frown. Did it really just say what I think it did?

"Er… hello?" I began, uncertainly.

"Knickers."

"Right. I'm not sure if this thing is working, but I'm looking for Emily?"

"Knickers."

What the fuck is going on? As I continued to stare in bewilderment at the panel, I could hear a scuffling noise through the contraption.

"James! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times…" Jenna's barking voice was cut short as the panel fell silent once more. As I stood there debating whether I should try the button again, it crackled back into life. "I'm so sorry about that. Can I help you?"

"Er, yeah it's Naomi. I'm here to see Emily."

"Oh." That single, two letter word was filled with such a heady mixture of disappointment and disapproval. All things considered, I wished I was still talking to James. The silence stretched on again. If my super-hearing hadn't picked up on the sound of Jenna calling Emily within the house, I might have concluded that she had chosen to ignore my presence altogether. Eventually, I heard a voice that was welcome to my ears.

"Hey Naoms. I'll be right out."

Very soon, the owner of the voice was stood beside me outside the gates. Emily gave me a bright smile in greeting. She was dressed appropriately for the weather, in combats and a t-shirt. I stepped closer to her, but she held up her hands to ward me off.

"Not in view of the house!" She muttered, clearly guessing that I had planned on kissing her. "I'm dating Ultra Woman, remember? I've just had the third degree from mum wanting to know why I'm meeting you."

"Can't I be your bit on the side?" I asked with a grin. Emily chuckled.

"So where are we going?" She asked with interest. I hadn't told Emily what I had planned for our date, just that I would meet her at the house at midday. That was mainly because I didn't actually _have_ a plan for our date, when we arranged it last night. Emily's insistence that I had to take her out as myself instead of my alter-ego had led to a very hastily put together picnic, first thing this morning. I held the rather sizeable basket up to show her.

"I thought since the weather is so nice, we should go for a picnic somewhere." I hesitated, suddenly aware of how pathetic my scheme sounded. "It was just an idea. I mean we could do something else if you'd rather." Emily gave me a coy smile.

"Naoms, stop worrying so much! That sounds perfect. Now come here." With a swift movement, she pushed me away from the gates until we were both hidden from view of the house by the large surrounding wall. Before I could form any kind of a protest, Emily's lips were on mine. Though as soon as I registered what was happening, all thoughts of a protest vanished anyway.

"So where are we going for this picnic?" She asked with a cheeky grin as she pulled away from me. It wasn't nearly as much of a 'hello' kiss as I was hoping for, but it seemed that it would have to do for now.

There was a rather beautiful park not far from Emily's house, so we turned our steps in that direction. Once we were away from the house, Emily laced her fingers through mine and gave them a squeeze. I felt myself beginning to relax a little. I reminded myself that it was Emily's choice to go out with me as myself, instead of as the super-hero.

We reached the park and found an idyllic, out-of-the-way spot to have our picnic. I set the basket down and removed a blanket from it. I spread it across the ground with a flourish and motioned for Emily to sit down. She lay back across the blanket, before patting the space next to her in a very inviting manner.

"Are you hungry?" I asked as I joined her.

"I'm starving" she muttered. Since her eyes were trained steadfastly on my lips, I had an inkling that she was not actually referring to food. She confirmed those suspicions a moment later by grabbing the front of my top and pulling me towards her. We fell backwards against the blanket as our lips met. As Emily's tongue reached mine, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in close to me.

We spent a wonderful few minutes sharing long, lazy kisses together. But just as I was wishing it could go on forever, Emily pulled away from me and suddenly sat up.

"So what do we have for lunch?" She asked. Hmm, I guess she _was_ talking about food then. I sat up too, and reached for the basket.

"I didn't know what to get" I muttered, as I pulled item after item out. I guess I'd gone a little mad when I went shopping earlier – there was enough food for about six people, not just the two of us.

"Naoms, this all looks great" said Emily, reassuringly. She reached into the basket and brought out a bottle of wine. As she glanced at the label, I leaned closer.

"Look, it's from Tesco's" I pointed out. "I did as you asked. I bought all this at the local shops, just like a regular girl. I _walked_ there, just like a regular girl. I even stood in the aisle for several minutes pretending to read the back of the bottle, before settling for the ones in the three for £10 offer – just like a regular girl."

"Good" said Emily with a nod. "Because I want you to know that it was never the super-powers that attracted me to Ultra Woman in the first place."

"I know that." I grinned at her, because it was true – I did know that. If I had had my doubts initially, they were done away with the moment I realised that Emily had fallen for me as Naomi, as well as Ultra Woman. Emily glanced back at the bottle in her hands.

"It's gotten rather warm in the sun I'm afraid."

I took the bottle from her and blew my icy breath on it to cool it down. As I opened it, I noticed Emily arching an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, just like a regular girl" she said with a grin. I shrugged.

"Well, you've got to admit that my powers do come in handy sometimes."

Emily giggled.

"Ultra Woman: saving the world from luke-warm wine, one bottle at a time."

We continued to chat and giggle together as we began our lunch. It felt amazing to finally be so open around Emily. There was now no reason to hide anything from her anymore – I could just be myself with her.

I cursed as the first big drop of rain fell onto my head. Of _fucking_ course it had to rain today! Bloody English weather: the only thing that you could predict about it was the fact that it would always be unpredictable.

"Fuck, I thought we could have one day without rain!" I cursed, as a few drops quickly turned into something of a deluge.

"Naomi its fine" soothed Emily, hastily stuffing things back into the basket. "Why don't we take this back to the house and finish our picnic in my room?" I nodded my agreement. We quickly gathered the rest of the stuff together, then I hoisted the basket onto my arm. With a quick glance around to make sure that we were unwatched, I slipped my arms around Emily and took off into the sky.

In very little time, we were inside Emily's room with the patio doors closed over behind us.

"Fucking British weather!" I cursed. "I wanted everything to be perfect." Emily stepped towards me and ran a gentle hand across my cheek.

"Naoms, you can't control the weather."

"I probably could, actually. I bet I could fly up and blow those rain-clouds away…"

"Naoms!" Emily's insistent tone snapped me from my internal calculations. "Haven't you been listening to me? I don't want you to fix everything with your super-powers! It _was_ perfect, because you made all that effort for me." She gave a soft smile, full of meaning. "And our date hasn't finished yet, either." I was on the point of leaning down to kiss her when I noticed her shiver.

"Okay, but I'm not going to stop using my powers - they're a part of who I am" I told her. "And I can use my super-breath to dry you off right now." Emily frowned at me.

"Use your super-breath? Naomi, you know that's kinda gross, right?" She walked from the room and returned moments later with a couple of towels. She threw one to me, before proceeding to dry her hair with the other one.

Once we had dried off, Emily spread the picnic blanket out across the floor.

"We should at least finish off our lunch the way you intended" she said with a bright smile. We sat down, and Emily began rummaging in the basket with enthusiasm.

"Are you not full yet?" I asked. Perhaps I hadn't packed too much food for the two of us after all – Emily was making a good go at polishing it all off. She shrugged.

"Dad says I've got hollow legs" she muttered, before tucking into another sausage roll.

* * *

><p>Later, the remains of the food were pushed aside and we stretched backwards across the blanket. The rain hadn't let up at all – I could hear it beating steadily against the windows. We lay there in companionable silence for a few minutes, letting our meal settle. The silence was broken by a giggle from Emily. I glanced across at her to see what she found amusing.<p>

"Were you really home-schooled?" She asked. I nodded. "I just can't imagine your mum being a teacher, somehow."

"Neither can I, and I was there" I told her. "But she didn't really have a choice. She couldn't risk anyone finding out about me." Emily shifted onto her side to be able to see me better. Seeing that she was waiting for more details, I carried on. "As a kid, I didn't have any control over my powers. Mum says she winded me once and the force of it almost took her through the sitting room window."

"So you can't have spent much time around other kids then" said Emily, a slight frown crossing her face.

"Yeah, that's why I'm so terrible when it comes to meeting new people" I answered, with a nervous chuckle.

"That's not what I was thinking of. I just meant that it must have been lonely."

I shrugged.

"I didn't really know what I was missing out on, I suppose. And I always had mum." I lapsed into silence as I thought back over my childhood. Yes mum had always been there for me – and of course I was grateful to her – but it wasn't the same as having friends my own age. I had missed out on that altogether in the nine years before I got to know Effy. "I guess I did feel quite alone" I added with a sigh. "It was hard, not having anyone that I could share all my secrets with." Emily slipped her fingers between mine and gave them a reassuring squeeze. Then she shifted her body until she was on top of me, pinning me down to the blanket.

"Nai, I just want you to know that you can trust me, okay? You can share your secrets with _me_." I nodded and slid my arms around her back. "And I want you to know that you're not alone anymore." I smiled goofily up at her as her words sank in. She smiled back, before leaning in closer to kiss me. I sighed with contentment as our lips met in a soft and tender kiss.

The kiss quickly grew in intensity, as Emily's tongue slipped between my lips. Her weight pressed me firmly back against the blanket. My hands found their way under her t-shirt to caress the warm skin at the base of her back. She moaned softly, as her own hands skimmed down the length of my arms. They tugged at the bottom of my shirt, seeking out their own skin contact.

Suddenly, Emily broke the kiss and stared down at me with a startled expression.

"Naoms, what the fuck is…" I followed her eyes as they darted down to my middle. Bright pink spandex was on display, sticking out beneath my shirt. Emily chuckled and shook her head. "God, I never thought about you having the suit on under your clothes! I thought you were wearing thermal underwear!" I giggled at the thought of that.

"No, but they do feel like long-johns!"

"For a second there, I thought we were having a Bridget Jones moment - and you were wearing absolutely enormous pants!"

"Hello mummy!" I added, as we both dissolved into fits of laughter.

As our chuckles subsided, Emily curled comfortably into my side, draping an arm across my stomach. I cursed that my suit had spoilt the romantic atmosphere, but at least we were having fun together.

"Speaking of mothers…" said Emily slowly. Now why do I get the impression that whatever is coming next will completely obliterate any remainder of that tender mood? "Why do you think that my mother is responsible for starting those fires?" Yes, just as I thought. That mood is now shattered beyond repair.

"It's complicated" I said, desperately stalling for time. Emily sat up and I missed the warmth of her body immediately.

"I'm listening" she said simply. With a sigh, I sat up too. I strained my ears for any hint of a siren somewhere that would get me out of this conversation, but no such luck. Sure, I could have pretended to hear something, but I was done lying to Emily. I guess there was no getting away from it.

"Okay, well we don't know all the facts yet" I began slowly. "We don't know why, but someone seems to want a large plot of land, and they are setting those fires to force through the sales of those buildings."

"So what makes you think that my mother is involved?" Asked Emily. I paused as I debated exactly which direction I should go in here. Emily has just told me that I can trust her – and I _do_ trust her – but this particular scenario could cause the mother of all conflicts of interest. No pun intended.

"Well I saw Cook at the scene of one of the fires, and he was covered in petrol. He works for your parents…"

"That doesn't mean they put him up to it!" Answered Emily, quickly.

"I know that, but…" Oh fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound I guess. "Emily, one particular company has been buying up all of that land. It's called Smith Holdings."

"I've never heard of it" she said with a shrug. I no longer had any doubts about Emily's involvement, but the complete indifference that she treated that name with showed that it really meant nothing to her.

"Ems, the managing director of Smith Holdings is… _you_."

"What?" Emily stared at me, clearly bewildered by what I was trying to tell her. "But I'm not managing director of anything!"

"The paperwork has been forged" I explained. "You're named as the managing director, but someone else has set up that company." Emily was shaking her head firmly.

"No" she insisted. "No, you've got it wrong. It's a different Emily Fitch, or…"

"Emily, it's definitely you."

"Then you've made a mistake somewhere" she said with determination. She wasn't angry or upset, but she was steadfast in her refusal to accept it. "You said yourself that you don't have all the facts. Check your information again, because you've jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"Cook bought my spaceship" I added desperately. "Do you really think _he_ has twenty thousand pounds to spend on something like that?"

"Your _spaceship_?"

I started to explain to Emily what little I knew about the fate of my spacecraft. I didn't mention anything about feeling weak in her basement – I didn't want to worry her with that. Besides, that all seemed so long ago now, and had never occurred again, that I almost had myself convinced that it hadn't really happened.

"So you don't _know_ that it was Cook!" Argued Emily, once I had explained it all. "Anyone could use 'Cookie Monster' as a user name!"

"But it's quite a big coincidence don't you think?" Emily shook her head gently.

"But that's all it is – a coincidence."

Seeing that Emily was not to be dissuaded of her conviction, I decided to let it go for now. There was no point in getting into an argument about it when I didn't even have any concrete proof anyway.

"Naoms, you've put two and two together, and come up with five." She chuckled. "I love you, but you can be a real idiot sometimes."

"What did you say?" A broad grin cracked my face in half.

"I said you can be a real…" Emily froze midway through her sentence as it dawned on her what she had said. I held my breath as I waited to hear what she would say next. She thought carefully for a few moments. "I love you" she said at last. The words came softly, but there was no mistaking the warmth in them. "Naomi, I love you."

"How long have you known?" I asked. Emily shrugged.

"I'm not sure. I knew I was falling for you - falling for Ultra Woman I mean - but then I started falling for _you_, and everything stopped making sense. I had this wonderful girlfriend, so why was I becoming interested in..." she hesitated, trying to choose her next words cautiously. "...In my shy, socially awkward friend, as well." She smiled softly at me. "So when it turned out that you were both the same person, it all started to make sense again."

We stared at each other for a few seconds, smiling shyly. Then I decided to react to this new revelation. I opted for the classic response: I kissed her. I surged forward, pulled Emily into my arms and kissed her with all the passion that I had.

"I love you too" I muttered breathlessly. Emily's hands tangled in my hair, pulling me closer. I felt my heart skip a beat as she nipped teasingly at my earlobe. I whimpered softly as she began to kiss a slow path down my neck. And I cringed inwardly, as a siren rang out somewhere in the distance. They never show up when _I_ want them to, do they? Oh no, that would be too much to ask. I just can't catch a fucking break!

"Fuck it! Not now!" I cursed. Emily pulled back abruptly from my neck.

"Sorry, I thought you liked that" she said. I grinned sheepishly at her.

"Not that! Emily, that feels amazing, but I can hear a police siren or something, and..."

"And Ultra Woman has to go check it out?" She asked. She smiled warmly at me, making it clear that she wasn't mad at me for having to leave. I nodded glumly. I had never felt more unwilling to swoop in and save the day.

"I really wish I could stay" I told her. But I knew that I couldn't, so I rose reluctantly to my feet. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that" said Emily with a wink and a cheeky grin. God, that is one promise that I can't wait to make good on!

As Emily stood up, I took a step back to give myself a bit of room. Then I span rapidly around, changing into my super-suit as I did so. Emily gasped with delight as I emerged from the spin. Normally I change into the suit by just removing my outer clothing, but I had been working on this new way for just such an occasion as this. The occasion of showing off to my new girlfriend who now knows about my secret identity, that is. Hey, there's nothing wrong with a bit of show-boating every now and then!

"I'll see you later" I murmured to Emily after giving her a goodbye kiss. "Don't wait for me, because it could take a while."

"Naoms, wait" she said, catching hold of my arm as I turned to go.

"Emily, I really have to leave." She grinned at me and reached up to remove my glasses that were still on my face.

"Not with these, you don't!"

With one last lingering kiss, I prised myself away from Emily and flew off into the skies of Bristol.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, I was unable to return to Emily for the remainder of the afternoon. The siren I heard was for a police chase on the motorway. I was able to stop it swiftly enough, but I often have to give witness statements to the police after I have helped out, and this was one such time. After finishing up at the station, a number of other tasks all seemed to urgently need my assistance. By the time I was sure that the streets of Bristol were safe once more, it was late in the evening so I headed home.<p>

As I walked through the door, I could hear the Stonems voices merging with those of mum and Kieran. Since I had stopped off on my way home to pick up a pizza and didn't want that lot to greed it all off me, I snuck quietly up to my room. Once there, I texted Emily to let her know that I was home, changed into something more comfortable, and tucked into my dinner.

Not long after finishing my food, my mobile rang. Emily's name flashed up on the display, so I answered it with a smile on my face.

"Hey you! I'm sorry I had to leave earlier."

"Yeah, me too. But the world needs Ultra Woman – I do understand that." There was a short pause, as Emily seemed to be bracing herself to say something. At last, she did. "So did you like the text I sent you?" She asked. There was a coyness to her voice that had me very curious, but I hadn't received any texts since leaving her earlier.

"What text? I haven't had any texts come through." I pulled the phone briefly away from my ear to check the display in case I'd missed it. Nothing was showing.

"It… it was a photo…" Well it already sounds like something that I'm _really_ going to want to see. "It wasn't this line – I sent it to your other phone."

"Emily, I don't have another…" My sentence ended abruptly, as I realised that Emily still thought that my mother's phone number was mine. Shit.

"Naoms? Is everything alright?" I suddenly felt decidedly uncomfortable.

"Er, yeah. Everything's fine, I just… I'm sorry Emily, but I have to go now on an unrelated matter." I hung up unceremoniously on Emily, before quickly making my way downstairs.

I walked into the front room to find Tony, Effy, Anthea, Mum and Kieran all in various states of inebriation.

"Oh hi love!" Greeted Mum. "I thought I heard you come home. How was your date with Emily?"

"Well first it rained, then I had to leave early because I heard a siren…"

"That's wonderful, dear" giggled Mum.

I had hoped that she had left her phone lying around in another room somewhere, but I spotted it on the table in front of her. Looks like I have to go for the more direct approach.

"Mum, have you had a text through at all today?" I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Mum frowned.

"I don't think so." She reached for her phone and checked the display. "Oh yes! There's a one from Emily." Her frown deepened as she stared drunkenly at the screen. "It's a photo, but I can't make it out." I watched on in horror as mum nudged Tony, who was sat to her side. "Tony, I can't tell what this is. Can you?"

"Nooooooooooo!" I literally flew across the room and snatched the phone from mum's hand before Tony could reach it.

"Naomi! What have I told you about flying indoors!" I ignored mum, and brought up Emily's message.

**Sorry you had to leave early. Just thought you might like to see this!**

If this is what I think it is… With shaking fingers, I brought up the photo.

Oh my giddy, giddy… no, fuck that.

Emily has a pierced nipple.

And what's more, she has taken a picture of that nipple and sent it to me. It was the most beautiful photo I had ever seen. I stared in wonder at the sight before me, taking in every detail of Emily's left breast and the small silver piercing that adorned it. I traced a gentle finger over the image, hardly believing what I was finally looking at.

I was vaguely aware of something hitting the side of my head. I tore my eyes from the phone to look down at the TV remote control lying on the carpet.

"I finally beat your reflexes!" Crowed Tony. I couldn't have cared less.

In a flash, I forwarded the photo to my own phone then deleted it from mums before handing it back to her.

"What's got you in such a daze?" She asked in bewilderment. "What was that photo of? It looked a bit like a… _oh_." She grinned at me as realisation dawned. "I guess your date with Emily _was_ a success then!" I nodded, before making some hasty excuses and leaving the room. Once alone, I bolted back to my room and breathlessly rang Emily's number.

"Hi. Naomi, is everything alright?" Oh right, I almost forgot that I had hung up rather abruptly on her just a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, everything's great. Everything's completely breasts. No, I mean…" Emily chuckled at my mistake.

"I take it you've got my message now!"

"Yes!" I grinned. "Yes it's perfect."

"Would you like to come over?" Asked Emily. In my head, the sentence ended with: 'and see the real thing?' I was certain there was at least a subtext of those words present.

"Now?" I glanced at the clock and saw that it was already past midnight.

"What's wrong, Naoms – is it past your bedtime?" There was a flirtiness to her voice that sent a delicious shiver running up and down my spine.

"No, but I thought you might be in bed" I muttered, trying to match her tone.

"Who says I'm not?" Asked Emily, her voice sounding particularly husky. I almost dropped the phone at how sexy she sounded.

"I'll be right there."

Damn it. Why can't I travel _faster_ than the speed of light?

* * *

><p><strong>There we go - I hope you liked that. Let me know what you think!<strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**Not**

**in**

**public.**

**That is all.**

* * *

><p>I quickly changed into some nice clothes. Okay, this is me we're talking about: I changed into something that was vaguely passable. Then I made my way over to the Fitch estate as fast as I could. I just prayed that there would be no sirens ringing out in the streets of Bristol tonight. Surely Ultra Woman deserved the odd night off? Perhaps I should take up 'selective deafness' as a hobby.<p>

I landed on Emily's balcony and gave my customary knock on the patio doors.

"Wow, that was quick!" Gasped Emily, as she opened the doors.

"You said to come over."

"Nai, we only hung up like, five seconds ago!" Hmm, I guess I was in rather a hurry to get here!

Emily stepped out onto her balcony to join me. She was dressed in sweat-pants and a hoody – a far cry from the barely-there nightie that I had been imagining when she hinted that she was in bed. But hey, I wasn't complaining – she looked beautiful whatever she was wearing. Emily could wear a bin-liner and still look fantastic. Hell, she could probably make a shell-suit look good.

She slid her arms around my neck and stretched up to meet my lips. I pulled her into my body and deepened the kiss straight away. Emily gave a low moan of contentment as our tongues met. I revelled in the feel of her body pressing so closely against mine.

As we broke apart, Emily pulled the doors leading to her room closed behind her.

"Aren't we going inside?" I asked. The rain had finally eased off, but it was still a cool evening.

"I wanted to show you something" she said. My mind was still lingering on the photo Emily had sent me earlier. Inadvertently, my eyes were drawn straight down to her chest. Couldn't she show me them inside her room? Seeing where my gaze lay, she slapped my arm. "Not that!" She scolded. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms back around my shoulders. "It's round the back of the house. Can you take us there?" I held her tightly, and rose up above the house. I moved over the roof, then followed Emily's directions until I set us down on the ground.

We were stood in front of a smaller building, set apart from the actual house. It was completely in darkness. Emily produced a key, and unlocked the door. I followed her inside and watched as she keyed digits into a security panel.

"Mum and dad alarm this place at night" she told me. "They think that we can't get in, but they always use the same number for all their security codes – it's mine and Katie's date of birth."

Once the alarm was disabled, Emily took my hand and started off along a dark corridor.

"Emily where are we going?" I asked with some trepidation. I wasn't sure I was entirely comfortable to be trespassing on the Fitch Estate in the dead of night. Emily turned around to face me. She pressed a brief but firm kiss to my lips.

"Trust me, I think you'll like this." With that, she set off along the corridor with me following diligently behind her. Let's face it: I would follow that girl anywhere if she asked me to.

We reached the end of the corridor and pushed through a set of double doors. Emily flicked a couple of light-switches, and we were both instantly bathed in a serene blue glow. I took in our surroundings and realised that we were stood at the side of a swimming pool. So the Fitches have their own pool! And quite a large one, considering that it was a private pool in the grounds of their house.

"Fancy a swim?" Asked Emily, lightly.

"I didn't bring a swimming costume" I answered with uncertainty. It's not the sort of thing I carry around with me.

"Well we always have a few spare ones around, for when friends come over" said Emily. "I'm sure I could find one in your size for you to borrow." She flashed me a coy smile. "That is if you really want one." I am sure that what Emily said next will forevermore be imprinted on my memory as the seven sweetest words _ever_ to be formed into a sentence in the entire history of communication: "But I'm not going to wear one." I think my mouth actually dropped open in surprise at that. I was so taken aback that I just stared in awe as Emily began to strip off her hoody. She dropped it on the floor, closely followed by the t-shirt she had on under it. Then seeing that I hadn't moved, she asked "Don't you want a swim?" I nodded dumbly, unable to utter a word. I was sure that I had the power of speech when I arrived, but Emily seems to just have that effect on me.

As Emily began to remove her sweat-pants, the idea of a swim struck me as the most perfect thing in the world. In a sudden flurry of motion, I began to cast off my clothes. I silently congratulated myself that I had left my super-suit at home this evening. That thing is tight - I didn't want Emily to witness how awkward I looked getting out of it.

As I threw my jeans to the floor, I wondered how much Emily was planning on us stripping off. I turned back to ask her if we were to keep our underwear on, but the words dried in my throat. Emily was stood at the edge of the pool facing away from me. Her bra had already been discarded, revealing the whole of her back. I was mesmerised by the movement of her shoulder blades and the gentle curve of her spine. As I watched, Emily hooked her fingers into her knickers and slowly pulled them down to her ankles. I watched their progress down her long, smooth legs in reverential silence. Her leisurely pace showed that she knew I was perving, but there was no way that I could tear my eyes away. Emily straightened up then stepped out of her underwear. I gawped unashamedly at the beautiful sight before me. I had recently been voted 'Rear of The Year' (though I'm sure it's just because of the lycra costume) but as I took in the gorgeous sight of Emily's curvaceous bottom, I knew that my win had been a gross miscarriage of justice.

Emily glanced back at me over her shoulder with a teasing smile.

"Are you coming, Naoms?" She asked casually. Well if my luck continues to hold, I think I will be before the night is through. She turned back to the pool and performed a perfect dive into the water. I watched for a few moments as she swam across the pool. Her firm shoulder muscles moved in harmony, water rippling over her back with each stroke. Okay, I _have_ to get in there! I turned away from the pool and rapidly stripped off the rest of my clothes.

As I turned back around I realised that the noise of Emily's swimming had ceased. Sure enough, as I faced the pool again I saw that Emily was facing me. She was stood in the centre of the pool, water covering up to her shoulders. Her hair was wet through, and looked several shades darker. Her eyes were fixed firmly on me, taking in every inch of my body with an intensity that almost made me blush. I made sure to straighten my posture, and tried to act cool under her gaze. Not an easy task, considering that I was stark naked.

"Have you seen enough?" I asked with a smirk. I placed my hands on my hips in a challenging stance. Emily didn't appear in the slightest bit embarrassed at being caught staring. She continued to check me out in a very obvious manner, clearly admiring what she saw. It was quite a turn-on, seeing the effect that I was having on her. Finally, she raised her eyes to meet mine.

"Not yet" she said with a cheeky grin. "Can you turn around? I'd like to see your bum some more." I gasped at her sheer, brazen audacity. "What?" She asked, defensively. "You're from another planet, Nai! I had to check that you don't have webbed feet, or green scales or something!" It's funny, but she didn't seem to be paying particular attention to my feet as far as I could tell.

"Okay, Fitch! That's it!" I jumped, launching myself into the pool. As my head broke the surface of the water to re-emerge, I turned to Emily. "Don't I get to see you?" I asked, with more than a hint of pleading. Emily chuckled.

"You'll have to catch me first" she said, her eyes alight with playfulness. Easy! "Oh, and no using your super-speed!" She added. Damn it.

We spent several minutes splashing about in the water while I tried desperately to catch hold of Emily. She was clearly a strong swimmer though, and easily evaded my every attempt to reach her. Since I couldn't use my super-speed, I had no chance of making up the half-pool distance between us. So it's a cat and mouse game that she wants is it? Well I can do that too. I took in a lungful of air, then disappeared beneath the surface. I didn't try to move nearer to her – she would see any movements anyway. Instead, I decided to wait for her.

I didn't have long to wait. After a few minutes I saw Emily's legs moving through the water towards me. As she came right up to me, I made my move. I caught hold of her arms as I came up for air.

"Fuck Naomi!" Emily shrugged out of my grasp to give my shoulder a hefty push. "You had me scared shitless there!" I suddenly noticed the anxious tone in her voice. "You were under for ages!"

"Emily, I'm sorry!" I stammered. "I can hold my breath for twenty minutes - I thought you would have known that!" I felt suddenly guilty – I really didn't mean to scare her.

"No, I didn't know that!" She snapped. Her breathing was quite erratic, and she was struggling to get it back under control.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." I stepped closer and put my hands gently on her shoulders. Emily smiled and shook her head. She seemed to be calming down quickly after the initial shock had worn off. I was relieved that I hadn't completely ruined the moment.

"I just didn't realise…" muttered Emily. She also took a step closer, and placed her hands on my hips. The fact that we were both naked and very, very wet suddenly came back to my conscious thoughts. Emily seemed very aware of it too. There was almost no space between us now, and the atmosphere switched instantly to an altogether more intense mood. Our eyes locked on each others, neither one of us saying a word. I bit my lip, which instantly drew Emily's eyes to my mouth. By the time her gaze came back up to my eyes, I was closing the distance between us.

I sighed softly as our lips met. I kissed her with slow, undemanding kisses, just lips against lips. I brought one hand up to cup her face, then swiped my tongue teasingly against her mouth. I felt Emily's fingers increase their grip on my hips. My skin tingled at the contact. She tilted her face slightly and deepened the kiss. A low moan sounded between us, and I couldn't even be sure who it came from.

Emily flattened her hands out against my hips, then slowly began to move them. She slid them around until they came to rest on my bum. She gave it a firm squeeze, pulling me even closer. I gasped, loving the feel of her hands moving across my body. I took it as my permission to touch her. Okay, so we were already naked together - getting handsy was probably expected by this point! I brought one hand slowly down from Emily's shoulder. I brushed my thumb lightly against her nipple, before taking her whole breast in my hand and giving it a squeeze. It was just the perfect size. Emily's back arched, pushing her tit further into me. The temperature of the room seemed to be shooting higher with each passing second.

I broke from Emily's lips, but only to press a trail of hot kisses down her neck. I was glad to discover that the water on her skin didn't taste of chlorine. Though admittedly, it would have taken a lot more than that to put me off. Having the girl of my dreams in my arms – and being able to explore her body in its entirety - was the most electrifying thing that I had ever experienced.

I brought my other hand down to caress her other breast. As my fingers carefully discovered this new area, they came into contact with something smooth and hard: Emily's piercing. I gasped and looked down, hoping to see it. The water was up to Emily's shoulders, stopping me from seeing her properly. Then I remembered our earlier game of cat and mouse.

"I caught you" I whispered. "Don't I get to see you, now?" Emily smiled at me, but it turned quickly into a frown.

"But I said no super powers!" She admonished.

"No, you said no super _speed_" I clarified. "You didn't say that I couldn't hold my breath." She rolled her eyes playfully, before giving me a wink. I knew that I was about to get what I was craving. Emily took a few steps backwards until she reached the side of the pool. I instantly missed being able to touch her, but I was longing to see her laid bare. With an ease that displayed a quite impressive upper-body strength, Emily hoisted herself out of the water. She sat on the side of the pool with her legs dangling down into the water.

I stared at her.

Then I stared at her some more.

Then just for good measure, I followed that up with some more staring.

"You are absolutely beautiful" I said in wonder. It was the understatement of the century, but they were the only words that came to mind. With a careful scrutiny, I took in every inch of Emily's gorgeous body: her fantastically pert boobs, with a small silver bar threaded through one of them, the curve of her hips, and the smooth, alabaster of her skin, covered all over with beads of water. I could have gazed at that wonderful image all night long.

"Don't you want to see the rest?" Asked Emily with a pout. Fuck, there's more?

"I already saw your bum before you dived into the water" I answered. Emily gave me a very naughty smile that caused my heart to beat faster.

"I know - that's not what I meant" she said simply. Finally realising what she was getting at, I could only manage to nod my head. I held my breath, waiting for what she would do next. Emily slowly began to open her legs. A rush of heat shot south within my body. I was already so turned on, but she was pouring fuel all over that fire. I watched as Emily parted her legs in divine invitation, just for me. She spread them wide, her eyes locked firmly on me all the while, her lips turned up in a sultry smile. Clearly Emily was not shy about her body – and with very good reason. Her self-confidence was intoxicating, and had me completely aroused. I was back to the staring again. I gazed at her pussy in breathless admiration. It was glistening wet, and although we had been skinny-dipping, I knew that at least a part of that wetness was because she was so turned on. Her eyes were dark with desire – she was enjoying my reaction to her little display of exhibitionism.

After I had been transfixed for what seemed like several minutes, Emily spoke again.

"Are you gonna just stand there and stare at it, or are you gonna come over here?" She asked softly. Her words managed to kick my body into action. I surged forward, almost swallowing half the pool in my haste to get to her. It's nice to know that my ability to be a complete klutz around Emily hasn't deserted me in my hour of need.

I reached her, and stood between her open legs. I placed my hands onto the side of the pool and raised myself up out of the water, towards her lips. She cupped my face in her hands, and we kissed each other hungrily. Our tongues moved in sync with each others, as our kisses became more frantic. I could feel Emily's core pressing against my lower stomach. I moved my body slowly against her, providing some friction. Emily gave a moan that was pure need, and the sound set my own pussy tingling with desire.

I broke our kiss, unable to resist the lure of that piercing any longer. I placed my forearm behind Emily, and shifted my weight until I was supported by just that arm (super-strength, remember?). Then I leaned in and took her left nipple between my lips. I teased it with my tongue, exploring the feel of that small silver bar. I sucked firmly on it and was rewarded with a whimpering sound from Emily. Keen to discover what further reactions I could elicit, I brought my free hand down between her legs. I stroked a finger leisurely through her folds, teasing her pussy lips. Emily pushed her hips forward a little, clearly wanting more contact.

I shifted my mouth to Emily's other breast. I didn't want it to feel left out, just because it didn't have a piercing. As I sucked on it, I brushed my thumb lightly against her clit.

"Fuck Naoms, that feels so good" she gasped, spurring me on further. I started to rub small circles against her clit, enjoying the noises that it brought from her. Then I slowly slid one finger deep inside of her. More encouraging expletives came from Emily. I pushed into her again, still with only one finger. It was incredibly tempting to just fuck her like that, but by now I was desperate to taste her. I relinquished her right tit and gave one last lingering kiss to her pierced nipple, before lowering myself back onto my feet. I withdrew my finger from inside her. For a second, Emily seemed surprised at the loss of contact, but I didn't give her a chance to react. I dipped my head down and ran my tongue firmly through her folds. Emily moaned loudly, and her hips bucked up of their own accord.

I let my tongue explore every inch of her pussy, being sure to lavish plenty of attention on her clit. Emily threaded her hands through my hair. She pulled at it as though she just needed something to hold onto – something to keep her grounded. I didn't mind: she couldn't hurt me, no matter how hard she tugged. I kept going, using my tongue to drive Emily higher and higher. I caressed the tops of her thighs with my hands as I did so.

"Naomi, that's so fucking amazing" moaned Emily. I loved hearing my name uttered so breathlessly from her lips like that.

I kept on with my attentions, and before too much longer I could tell that Emily was getting close. Her whole body was tensing, and her breathing was increasingly erratic. I kept my tongue moving, but added my thumb back to stroke firmly against her clit. The extra contact soon pushed her over the edge. Her legs trembled, her pussy began to clench, and her fingers tightened their grip on my hair.

"Fuck!" Emily swore repeatedly as she rode her orgasm out. She abandoned herself to it completely, letting the sensations consume her. Knowing that I had caused her to come undone so spectacularly took my breath away completely.

I slowed my movements in order to ease her back down gently. Once her trembling subsided, I pulled back and grinned up at her. Her eyes didn't seem able to focus properly, but she smiled at me none the less.

"Naoms, that was amazing" she said. My grin grew even bigger. Emily already looked ecstatic, but I wasn't finished yet. I placed my hands on her hips and lifted her smoothly down into the pool with me. She wrapped her legs around me as I leaned in to kiss her. Emily eagerly met my lips with her own, her tongue shooting straight into my waiting mouth. I slid one arm around her hips supporting her weight, while my other hand moved downwards. I pushed two fingers easily inside of her. Emily gasped at that first contact. Her eyes were wide with amazement, but she only broke our kiss for a second. Once she realised what I was doing, she immediately sought out my lips again.

I pumped my fingers into her pussy, quickly finding the right rhythm. Emily gripped tightly onto my shoulders and began to undulate against my hand. I continued to drive my fingers into her, determined to bring her to a second orgasm in quick succession. I knew that it wouldn't take long.

Soon, Emily's head tipped back away from me.

"Oh fuck Naoms, I'm coming" she groaned as her second orgasm began to rip through her. Once again she let herself go, writhing against my hand for all she was worth. I continued moving within her, making sure that she felt every last bit of it. I gazed on in awe at the sight of Emily completely in the grip of rapture.

"God, I fucking love you so much" I told her.

Once Emily was spent, I slowly removed my fingers and wrapped my arm around her back. I hugged her tightly to me, while I waited to see what she would say. Eventually, her breathing began to slow, and her trembling eased. She gazed at me with the most beautiful smile on her face.

"Well that's one mystery solved then" she muttered. I arched a quizzical eyebrow at her. "Now I know why they call you 'Ultra Woman'!" I chuckled, before giving Emily another lingering kiss.

As we broke apart, Emily lowered herself down from my grasp.

"Now it's my turn to do that to you" she said with ardour. Her words were music to my ears – my pussy was practically on fire by that point. But as she stepped towards me, I saw Emily shiver. We had been in the water for a while – and Emily had been out of it for a while too.

"Maybe we should dry off first" I reluctantly suggested.

"How about a hot shower?" Asked Emily with a grin. That sounded just about perfect. I pulled her into my arms and flew us both out of the pool and in the direction of the showers. So far, this was already the best night that I had ever experienced. But I knew it was still a long way from finishing.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke to find myself in a large, very comfortable bed. Emily was cuddled into my side, and was just about the cutest sight that I'd ever seen. A large grin spread across my face as I thought back over the preceding evening. After Emily had fucked me quite spectacularly in the shower, we had gathered up our clothes and headed back to her room. Once there, we found that our libidos were nowhere near satisfied. We spent the better part of the night exploring one another's bodies and having plenty of orgasms apiece. I'm telling you - the Ever-Ready bunny has got nothing on <em>our<em> stamina! Eventually, we were exhausted. We curled up together in Emily's bed, whispered 'I love you' to each other, and sank into a well-earned sleep.

A clock beside the bed informed me that it was still reasonably early in the morning. I found myself with a hankering for coffee. Not keen to explain my presence at breakfast time to the rest of the Fitches, I decided to go out for a couple of drinks. I carefully extricated myself from Emily, being sure not to wake her. She snuggled further under the duvet, and muttered something incomprehensible in her sleep. I smiled softly at the sight of her as I pulled my clothes back on. I decided to leave her be – I wouldn't be gone long. I opened the patio doors as quietly as I could and stepped out into the cool morning breeze. I glanced around me in wonder. After such a fantastic night, I was genuinely amazed that there wasn't a chorus of blue-birds on the balcony to serenade me. Oh well, perhaps they got held up somewhere. I took off into the sky on my mission to find some breakfast.

Soon, I was back in Emily's room with two coffees and a selection of pastries. I was glad to see that Emily hadn't woken in the time that I had been away. I set my purchases down, and climbed onto the bed.

"Emily" I whispered. She wrinkled her nose and buried herself a little further under the quilt. I pulled the cover away from her face and pressed a kiss to her temple. She frowned, but still didn't seem inclined to wake up. I began to kiss my way across her face, until I finally felt her stir. "Morning, sleepy" I muttered, as Emily's eyes opened. She grinned at me.

"I'm sleepy because _someone_ kept me awake all night!"

"Are you complaining?" I asked with a mock pout. Emily shook her head firmly. "I got us some breakfast." I reached for the food and coffees while Emily sat herself up. She took her coffee, before carefully choosing a pastry.

"Let me guess: Italian?" She asked, as she smelt her coffee.

"No, they're Columbian" I told her. Emily rolled her eyes.

"You went all the way to South America just to get coffee?" She asked in amazement. I chuckled.

"No, I went all the way to the other side of town. There's a little coffee shop I know that does coffees from around the world." Emily giggled.

"Okay, I'll let you off then."

We had our breakfast in silence, exchanging bashful little grins while we tucked in. Once we were finished, Emily arched an eyebrow at me.

"Is there any particular reason that you're not naked and in this bed with me?" She asked, coyly.

"None that I can think of." Emily shuffled closer and began to undo my shirt. "Tell me what you'd like me to do to you" I murmured, as my shirt was tossed aside. Emily flushed scarlet.

"I… I don't know" she answered hesitatingly. "I… I want you to _fuck_ me." She practically whispered the word 'fuck'. I chuckled at how adorable she was, getting shy about talking dirty. Was this really the same woman who had sent me a picture of her nipple, and opened her legs so brazenly for me last night? Not to mention the language I heard from her as she came! Her impressive array of swear-words could make a drill-sergeant blush. But this sudden display of modesty from her was quite a surprise, in contrast. And it made me fall just a little bit further in love with Emily Fitch.

* * *

><p>Later, I reluctantly had to drag myself away from Emily.<p>

"Mum's doing a Sunday lunch, I promised her I'd be there" I explained. "You could come too if you like?" I asked, hopefully. Emily shook her head.

"No, I can't. I promised I'd go shopping with Katie today." I climbed out of bed and began to look around for my clothes. Emily had thrown them off me quite frantically earlier, so they were scattered around her room.

"Emily, have you seen my knickers?" I asked, as I hunted around for them.

"I was hoping I could keep them."

"What?" I was busy checking under the bed for my missing underwear, so I hadn't properly taken in what Emily had said.

"I wanted to keep them" she repeated. "You know - for my collection." Her words sank in, and I immediately looked up at her in horror.

"Your…" my mouth was unfeasibly dry, and wouldn't form any more words. I swallowed hard, and tried again. "Your _collection_?" I asked in mounting dread. Emily gave me a shy smile.

"Yeah. The first time I sleep with a girl, I like to keep her knickers as a souvenir – I've done it for every girl I've slept with. I don't wash them, I just keep them as they are."

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Screamed a panicked voice inside my head. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but no discernable sounds emerged. This can't be happening! What is it about me that attracts girls who are completely certifiable?

I was almost on the point of flying stark naked out of the window in a blind state of hysteria, when Emily giggled.

"Naoms, relax" she laughed. "Your knickers are over there." She pointed towards her wardrobe, and I saw that my underwear was on the floor in front of it. I let out a long sigh, and sank with relief onto the bed. "Nai, you should have seen your face!" She chuckled.

"Fuck, Emily! I thought you'd turned into a total nutter!" I told her. "I was seeing horizon-Sophias there!" Emily let out a throaty laugh, and gave me a playful shove. I took a couple of deep breaths and waited for my heartbeat to return to normal. Emily continued to tease me about how scared I had looked. Now certain that it had just been a joke, I could see the funny side of it and joined in with her laughter.

"So when can I see you next?" Asked Emily as I finished getting dressed. We made arrangements for another date that night - neither one of us was inclined to be apart for any longer than that. Then I gave her a lingering goodbye kiss, and left her room via the balcony. As I flew home, I realised that I felt more content than I had done for a _very_ long time.

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><p><strong>I hope you liked that! Please let me know what you think.<strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello again! I never intended for this story to disappear for so long, but I have really struggled with this chapter. I feel a bit bad, really: MissMaraudeur goes on hiatus for a while then returns with a mamoth chapter, packed with plenty of drama. _I_ go on hiatus for a while... hmm. I'm afraid this chapter is a bit of a shrimp. And I'm not sure that anything of interest happens in it, either. But thats just my opinion. **

**Rest assured that I still intend on finishing this story. I have a clear idea of where its heading from here on out - and there's not a whole load of it left.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.**

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><p>After leaving Emily's, I went straight home. I had a quick shower and put on some clean clothes before heading downstairs. I found Mum in the kitchen preparing our Sunday lunch.<p>

"You were up and out early this morning" she said, glancing up at me. I often come and go through my bedroom window, so she was just assuming that I had spent the night in my own bed. As her eyes took in my face, she broke into a broad grin. "Oh, you've been with Emily" she added in a knowing tone. How the fuck does she do that?

"What makes you so sure?" I asked, feigning innocence. Mum chuckled.

"Because _'I've just been laid'_ is written all over your face!" I gasped at her, indignantly.

"No it isn't!" I snapped. Just then, Kieran sauntered into the kitchen.

"Oh Naomi, you're home." His eyes did the same dance across my face that mum's had just done. "Emily let you out of there alive, at any rate" he smirked.

"Why does everyone assume that I've just been shagging?" I asked, my irritation rising.

"So you _haven't_ been with Emily just now?" Asked mum, raising a disbelieving eyebrow at me. I crossed my arms huffily, but I could hardly deny it.

"Yes, actually. But how do you know we weren't just... playing Monopoly?" Kieran and mum exchanged a pointed look, before both bursting out into laughter.

"_Monopoly_? Oh, Naomi you're priceless!" Muttered Kieran.

"I like Monopoly" I grumbled, to no-one in particular.

"Can you set the table please Naomi" asked mum.

"Why can't Kieran do it?" I asked. I looked around to where my step-dad had just been standing, but at the first hint that something needed doing, he had shuffled off into the other room. "Fine" I agreed, reluctantly.

* * *

><p>After lunch, I went next door to speak to Effy. I walked straight in and headed into the sitting room. Anthea was there alone. She glanced up at me with a friendly smile, which quickly turned into a smirk.<p>

"You've been fucking that little red-head of yours" she said with certainty. I gaped at her, before managing a spluttering denial. After all, I'm not the sort of girl to kiss and tell. My efforts did nothing to convince Anthea - she simply waved my words away as if they were nothing. "Whatever you say, Naomi. Effy's in her room."

I headed upstairs. Effy was reclining across her bed, engrossed in a magazine. She gave me only a cursory glance at first, but then swiftly tossed what she was reading aside. She stood up and strode purposely towards me. I tried my best to look unaffected as she cast her eyes slowly over my face.

"I see you've finally seen some action" she announced at last. "Its about time." I was all set for more denials, but what was the point, with Effy? She probably knew before _I_ did. Instead I just grinned stupidly at her. She rolled her eyes. "You're going to be unbearable for the next few weeks, aren't you?" She asked. I wasn't quite sure in what way to take that, so instead I decided to change the subject.

"How's the investigation going?" I asked, trying to summon up some enthusiasm for it. I know that I should still be as keen as ever to get to the bottom of our little mystery, but in reality I'm finding it difficult to think about anything other than Emily. Effy frowned and shook her head.

"I'm not much further on. I haven't found out why your future mother-in-law..." I ignored Effy's rather obvious attempt to bait me "...wants to buy up all of that land." She rummaged amongst some papers on her desk. She found the one she was looking for and handed it to me. It was a map of the Quayside, showing all of the recently targeted buildings. Effy had marked most of them with a red pen. "The red ones have either agreed to sell to Smith Holdings, or are at least in negotiations with them."

"And this one?" I asked, pointing to one building in the middle that hadn't been marked red.

"The owner is still refusing to sell."

"That's good. That should buy us some more time to find out exactly what is going on." I gazed with curiosity at the map in my hands. If it all went through, then it would create quite a large plot of land. And in a prime location, as well. What the hell are those Fitches up to? I didn't have the slightest idea what it might be, and I was glad when a knock on Effy's door took my attention away from the problem. Tony opened the door and put his head into the room. He took one look at me, then his face cracked into a broad grin.

"Naomi! Congratulations on finally cracking Emily!"

God! Can everyone tell what I did last night?

* * *

><p>The next few days passed by in a bit of a blur. A wonderful, red-hued, sex-filled blur. Emily and I spent as much time together as we could - going on dates, having fun together, making love. I dropped all pretence at denials to my family, because my sex-fuelled smile was bright enough to rival Vegas.<p>

We kept the conversation between us very light - my suspicions about Emily's mother were not raised by either of us. That is until Saturday morning - a week after our first night together. I had spent the previous night at Robenna Mansion, and we were curled up together in Emily's large bed.

"Have you found out what my mum wants all of that land for yet?" Asked Emily. Her tone was conversational, as though she was asking what we were doing for lunch later. I hesitated. Emily had been so certain that her mother wasn't involved - was this some sort of trick?

"I thought you said she wasn't involved" I ventured, slowly. Emily shrugged.

"I'm not naive, Naoms. I know that mum and dad haven't earned all their money with 'good old fashioned hard work', like they've always claimed."

"But you said..."

"They're my parents! I know what they're capable of, but I wasn't going to just accept it all on your say-so."

I snatched quickly onto that.

"So something has happened to persuade you that they _are_ involved?" I asked. Emily seemed torn for a moment.

"Yes" she said eventually. "Well... nothing really. But I've been thinking about it all, and it does seem like it all makes sense."

"What happened?" I pressed. No matter how small an event it was, something had happened to alter Emily's perception.

"Mum suggested that we go on a date" she told me. I frowned and waited for her to explain more. "She said that we should go out on Wednesday, and that I should ask you - Ultra Woman that is - to take me somewhere exotic. She was pretty insistent that you should take me to somewhere like Australia, or Hong Kong." Well, that is suspicious - suggesting that I take her daughter out on a fancy date.

"Do you _want_ to go to Australia?" I asked, feeling like I was still missing part of the picture. Emily shook her head.

"That's not the point. Don't you get it?" I gave a perplexed shake of my head. "Hong Kong and Australia are both about as far away from England as you can get. Mum was _insistent_ that we should go out on Wednesday night. She wants Ultra Woman out of the way for some reason." Finally Emily's reasoning came into focus for me. I couldn't help thinking that she was right, but it seemed like a very small detail to bring about such a change of opinion. I suspected that Emily was not fooled by her parents at all. Her earlier denials had clearly just been out of loyalty to her family.

"Jenna said she wanted to get me onside" I muttered, more to myself than to Emily. She frowned at my words, and asked what I meant. I quickly told her about what I had overheard from Jenna that day in the basement. Emily shook her head sadly.

"I _knew_ her approval of you was too good to be true! She's never accepted that I'm gay before you came along, so I couldn't understand why she was so keen for us to date. I thought it might just be because you're famous."

"So what did you say to her about Wednesday?" I asked.

"I told her that I would ask you. I figured that if she thinks you're going to be elsewhere on Wednesday night, then maybe we can find out what's going on." I nodded, and the two of us lapsed into a thoughtful silence.

It was broken by Emily a few minutes later.

"I've been thinking" she said slowly.

"I thought I could hear a whirring sound." She slapped my arm playfully. "Okay, what have you been thinking?" I prompted.

"I think its a good idea if we split up" she announced, firmly. My mouth dropped open in shock.

"No! No, that's a _terrible_ idea!" I argued. I sat up quickly in bed and turned to face Emily. "Look, I know my hair looks shit in the mornings before I've brushed it, but..." I was babbling, not knowing what I was saying. I fell silent when Emily placed a reassuring hand on my cheek.

"Naoms, relax! I don't mean _we_ should split up, I mean that I should split up with Ultra Woman." My mouth flapped open and shut ineffectually, as I tried to process what on earth was going on here. I really thought that Emily had understood the whole 'Ultra Woman is me' scenario, but now it seemed that she hadn't.

Oh Fuck! Has she suddenly developed amnesia? Perhaps she bashed her head on the headboard while we were having sex last night. Oh God - I've fucked my girlfriend into a brain injury! I mean, you hear about these things happening but they always sound so far-fetched. Surreptitiously, I tried to check for any sign of a skull fracture. "Nai, why are you touching my head like that?" Asked Emily.

"Oh, no reason" I muttered, bringing my hands down. "Do you remember who the Prime Minister is?" Emily sighed and took my hands gently with her own.

"I mean that we should tell our friends and my family that we've split up" she said slowly, as though explaining it to someone from another planet. Though I have to admit that I _am_ from another planet. "We'll hold off until Wednesday, but after that I think we should tell everyone that we've split up, and that I've fallen instead for Naomi." Relief filled every corner of my being, as I realised that she was actually making sense. I nodded my agreement - it seemed like a good plan. That way no-one could use Emily in an attempt to get to Ultra Woman. Use her _again_, that is. My already poor opinion of Jenna had taken a distinct decline in the last few minutes.

"That's probably for the best" I agreed.

"We can say that we've agreed to stay as friends - that way you can still come over in your costume. But you should probably leave a change of clothes and some spare glasses hidden in my room to change into." I nodded, but couldn't suppress a smile at her words. Emily was suggesting that I leave some things at her place - now how 'coupley' is that! Of course her suggestion was just for practical reasons, but it still felt like a little step forward in our relationship.

Wow, I was this excited about commitment just one week since I first slept with her? God, I'm so whipped!

Just then, there was a brisk knock on Emily's bedroom door. Before there was a chance to answer, the door was thrown open. Emily and I both grabbed for the thin covering sheet to hide our nakedness. Katie marched into the room but stopped short when she saw that her sister wasn't alone. She frowned with confusion at the scene in front of her.

"Naomi" she said in surprise. "But I thought..." Her sentence trailed away as her eyes took in the state of the room. I hadn't worn my super-suit last night, so the clothing scattered across Emily's floor was unmistakeably my own. I wasn't wearing my glasses, but my hair was not slicked back into Ultra Woman's usual style.

"Fuck!" I cursed, under my breath. What the hell would Katie think, finding Naomi in bed with her sister instead of Ultra Woman? I glanced helplessly at Emily, hoping that she was more prepared than I was with a suitable excuse. One look into her eyes told me that she was as much at a loss as me.

"We can trust her" she whispered eventually. I wanted to argue with her, but what exactly could I say? This was Emily's twin sister - the two of them were a single egg at one point in their lives.

Taking my silence as agreement, Emily slipped out of bed and quickly closed the door. Involuntarily, I found my eyes caressing the beautiful sight of her perfect arse as she did so.

"God, do you _have_ to perve so obviously?" Huffed Katie. Embarrassed at being caught out, my eyes snapped instantly down to the bed that I was still occupying.

"I wasn't!" I argued.

"You craned your neck to get a better look!" Snapped my girlfriend's sister.

"Katie, can you please sit down?" Asked Emily, gently. "We've got something important to tell you." Katie raised a disdainful eyebrow.

"You'll forgive me for not sitting on the bed" she answered, before going to sit on the small sofa. Emily sat next to me on the bed. I looked up to see that she was now wearing a dressing gown. She took my hand with hers, interlinking our fingers. I was trembling a little at the thought of sharing my secret identity with Katie, and knew that Emily would be able to feel it. She gave my hand a small squeeze, trying to reassure me. It didn't work. It wasn't that I didn't trust Katie, I just wasn't keen for my secret to go any further. Especially not when the decision was out of my hands like this. Yes Emily had stumbled across the truth on her own, but I had already resolved before then to tell her everything. Still I had to admit that out of all of the remaining Fitches, Katie was the one that I was happiest to share with.

"Well?" Demanded Katie, when neither of us spoke any more. Emily cleared her throat uncertainly.

"Okay. You're probably wondering why Naomi is here like this." Katie frowned slightly, but didn't interrupt her sister. Hesitantly, Emily carried on. "The thing is, Katie..." She swallowed, then fell silent. After a pause, she gave it another attempt. "You can't tell _anybody_ what I'm about to tell you..." Again she ran out of words. Seeing Emily falter, I tried to pick up the explanation myself.

"This will really surprise you Katie, but..." No, I couldn't do any better. Katie rolled her eyes and gave a dramatic sigh.

"Will one of you lezzers _please_ tell me what the fuck is going on?" She glared with exasperation at first me, then Emily. Emily took a deep breath.

"Naomi... is... Ultra Woman" she managed at last. That statement really should have been followed by a dramatic sound effect. You know the sort of thing: Dun dun duuunnn!

We both stared at Katie, waiting for her reaction. Her face was expressionless.

"_And_?" She asked, clearly waiting for more to be added. Emily and I exchanged a startled glance. Did Katie not understand what Emily had just told her? Katie stared between the two of us in as much confusion as either of us. Then her face cleared. "Oh! You thought I didn't know that!" Her words did nothing to ease our bewilderment.

"You _knew_?" Asked Emily in shock. Katie grinned at her sister.

"Well you've got to admit that its a pretty crap disguise! It wouldn't deceive a child!"

"So how long have you known?" I asked, in mounting puzzlement. Katie gave a casual shrug.

"Ages. Since I first met you as Naomi, I suppose. It just seemed so obvious."

"But you never said anything..."

"Well no-one else mentioned it. I assumed everyone had agreed not to talk about it." Katie suddenly stared questioningly at her sister. "You _did_ know then, didn't you?" Emily flushed scarlet, causing a shriek of laughter from Katie. "You _didn't_? That's priceless! I just assumed that you always knew!" Emily crossed her arms and glared at her amused twin.

"You could have mentioned it!" She snapped. Katie stared at her with bewildered delight.

"I can't believe you didn't know!" A new thought suddenly struck the giggling twin. "Oh my God! _That's_ the secret she was keeping that you got so upset about the other week?" Emily nodded tightly, which led to a further burst of laughter from her sister.

"Well what did you think it would be?" Demanded Emily, huffily. Katie shook her head.

"I don't know. I thought she had a little green love-child hidden away on another planet, or something" she answered, thoughtfully. "Or maybe she has some weird, alien disease that's lethal to humans. Or perhaps her fingers can shoot sperm."

"They can't" I quickly chipped in. Katie finally seemed to become aware of her sister's anger.

"I honestly thought you knew already" she told her in a placating tone.

"So why were you surprised to see me here this morning?" I asked, anxious to let a squirming Emily off the hook of her embarrassment.

"Oh that!" Katie gave another little shrug. "I just thought you'd left last night, that's all."

"You knew I was here last night?" I asked with a frown. I had thought we were being a bit more stealthy than that. Katie chuckled and rose to her feet.

"You two are nowhere near as subtle as you think you are" she said, as she walked towards the door. "Mum and dad may be oblivious, but I see what goes on around here." She paused with her hand on the handle and looked back at us over her shoulder. "Put it this way: I won't be going in the family pool anytime soon." This time the blushes belonged to me. With a final chuckle, Katie left the room. I sank back against the pillows.

"Emily, your sister is one surprising woman." Emily stretched back next to me.

"Tell me about it."

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope that was okay. Maybe no drama, but at least there were dramatic sound effects. MissMaraudeur's chapter didn't have 'dun dun duns.'<strong>

**And now for something completely different: I have recently set up my own blog in an attempt to improve my comedy writing. It's called 'I Suppose You Think That's Funny?', and it is a place where I will share some of my half-baked attempts at writing jokes. I also plan to share the sort of things that tickle my sense of humour, too. **

**There isn't much there yet, but my aim is to update it fairly regularly. I have several ideas for different posts, and I would love to make it as interactive as possible. So why not give it a look? And maybe leave a comment, if you feel so inclined. The address for it is on my profile page.**

**Myrtle.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi remember me? I really didn't mean to go MIA for 5 months there. ****So you won't believe this, but I had this chapter all written out and ready to post ages ago... and my dog ate it. True story. **

**Well, except for the part about the dog. And the part about it being all written out. But other than that, every word was absolutely true.**

**Okay, I'm shutting up now.**

* * *

><p>"So what do you think it is?" I asked Effy. Effy, Emily and I were sat together in my front room, trying to figure out why Jenna wanted to keep Ultra Woman out of the country on Wednesday night. Effy let out a long sigh.<p>

"I'm not sure. Why don't you just follow her?"

"Because she's not likely to get her own hands dirty, is she? Its much more likely she'll get someone else to do whatever it is she has planned."

Effy nodded, then lapsed into silence. I glanced across at Emily, sat at the other end of the sofa from me. She had a thoughtful look on her face. Perhaps she has an idea of how we can figure this out.

"What do you think, Em?" I asked. She seemed lost in contemplation, and didn't hear me. I called her name a second time and she looked across at me in mild confusion. "What are you thinking?" I repeated. Emily paused slightly before answering, as though marshalling her thoughts carefully. I waited patiently for her to speak.

"Could you beat Superman in a fight?" She asked at last.

"I reckon so" I answered with confidence.

"Really?" She sounded impressed.

"Of course I could!" I said emphatically, warming to the subject. "He would hardly hit a girl, for a start."

"Plus he's a fictional character" muttered Effy. I ignored her – I was trying to impress my new girlfriend after all.

"And what about Hulk Hogan?" Continued Emily. Okay, that one had me puzzled.

"Hulk Hogan? The perma-tanned wrestler who used to rip his shirt off before each match?" Emily giggled at her own mistake.

"Okay, I didn't mean him. I meant The Incredible Hulk." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Well if I can beat Superman, then I could _definitely_ beat The Hulk!"

"Not necessarily" argued Emily. "The Hulk is all muscly and green, and twice the size!"

"So is the Jolly Green Giant, but I'm pretty sure I could take him if he started anything! Unless he wanted to challenge me at growing runner-beans, that is."

Emily laughed, then edged closer to me on the sofa.

"How fast can you fly?" She asked, tilting her head to one side. I considered the question carefully.

"I'm not sure for certain – I've never measured the speed. I know I've broken the sound barrier sometimes." As I gazed into Emily's eyes, I could see that they were alight with interest. This was definitely scoring me plenty of brownie-points!

"Can you fly faster than the speed of light?" She asked.

"Probably" I answered, feigning nonchalance.

"Nothing can travel faster than light, it's the speed limit for the entire galaxy" muttered Effy in a bored tone. I raised my eyebrows at her. Since when did Effy know anything scientific like that? She shrugged. "I paid attention in science class." Still not convinced, I continued to stare at her. "Okay, so it was in an episode of 'Red Dwarf' once" she finally admitted.

"How strong are you?" Asked Emily, still not wanting to drop her questioning. She slid nearer again, closing the remaining distance between us. "Because you don't _look_ really muscly, but you're very strong."

"I don't look muscly?" I asked with a pout. Emily ran a hand lightly over one of my biceps.

"You look toned, which is much better than having a load of bulging muscles."

"Do you think you two could carry out your foreplay when I'm not here?" Asked Effy pointedly. Emily and I both stopped what we were doing and looked at Effy in surprise. "We're _supposed_ to be foiling the plans of an evil mastermind here!" She reminded us. Feeling embarrassed at how quickly I had forgotten that, I turned to contemplate the problem at hand once more.

"Are we really going with 'evil mastermind'?" Asked Emily, tentatively. "I mean, I know my mum's a bit power mad, but do we have to call her 'evil'?"

Effy flashed me a look that plainly said 'this is the last time you talk me into letting your girlfriend help', before turning to face Emily.

"So far, we know that she's been responsible for arson, police corruption, intimidation, and being a Celine Dion fan." Effy ticked each item off on her fingers as she listed them. "What would _you _call her?"

Emily grinned sheepishly.

"Overly ambitious?" She ventured. Effy let out a world-weary sigh.

"Fine. Can we please get on with foiling the schemes of this overly-ambitious mastermind?"

"And I'm not sure she's really a mastermind…" began Emily, but she was silenced by a look from Effy.

"Jenna has something big planned for the day after tomorrow, and we still have no idea what it is" declared my best friend with annoyance.

"It's bound to have something to do with Cook, JJ and Freddie" said Emily. "Whenever there's dirty work, she gets those three to handle it." Effy raised an eyebrow at her.

"She gets Cook, JJ and Freddie to do her dirty work?" She asked with interest. Emily nodded. A sly grin spread across Effy's face. "You know what that makes them, don't you?" She stared around at us both impressively. "Henchmen! Cook, JJ and Freddie are Jenna's henchmen. And you know what kind of people have henchmen? _Evil_ _masterminds_!"

"It _is_ her mother, Eff" I chipped in, not fancying the idea of an all-out fight breaking out between my best friend and my girlfriend. Emily glanced at her watch.

"I'd better go" she announced, somewhat diplomatically. "I promised mum that I'd be home for dinner tonight."

"Give her our love, won't you?" Said Effy, her words heavy with sarcasm.

Since Emily had come over without her car, I offered to fly her home. She agreed, and I quickly took her the short distance back to her place. We landed unnoticed on her balcony. As I moved towards Emily's room, she suddenly grabbed my arm. She pointed down to the gravel driveway.

"That's Cook's car" she insisted, pointing to an old banger parked below. "Maybe he's getting his instructions from mum for Wednesday night." We hastily moved into Emily's room, shutting the patio doors behind us. "You can hear them, right?" She asked, excitedly. "If they're talking anywhere in the house, you'll be able to hear them with your super-hearing?" I nodded. Emily looked at me expectantly. "Can you hear anything?" She asked, breathlessly.

"Emily, all I can hear is you asking me if I can hear anything!" As she lapsed into silence, I strained my ears to hear whatever was going on in the house. After a few minutes, Emily's impatience got the better of her. "Can you hear anything?" She asked again. I could hear plenty of things: Katie across the hallway, filing her nails; Rob somewhere downstairs, scratching himself and getting the answers wrong to 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'; and somewhere in the attic, a couple of cockroaches were beginning to get amorous. But since none of these things were what I was listening for, I kept my answer simple.

"Nothing" I said with a frown. "I can't hear them anywhere in the house at all." It was most unusual – there just wasn't any sign that Jenna or Cook were anywhere in the house or grounds.

"Maybe they've gone out to the pool-house" said Emily.

"Maybe" I answered, distractedly. I had heard nothing from the pool-house other than the low whirring sound from the pool filter, so I knew that they weren't there. But another, slightly troubling thought had occurred to me that I wasn't ready to share just yet. "I'd better get going" I said as I pulled Emily into my arms. We shared a lovely, lingering kiss, before I reluctantly dragged myself away from her.

As I flew away, my mind was still firmly on Robenna Mansion. Not, as it usually was, on the beautiful red-head contained within, but this time on the building itself. Assuming that Cook and Jenna _were_ inside discussing their plans, then my super-powers had once more let me down whilst inside that house. Could those two incidents be connected? Although I had to admit that this hardly felt the same as the last time. It wasn't that I couldn't use my super-hearing this time – it was more like… yes, it was more like they were somehow beyond the _scope_ of my hearing.

* * *

><p>By the time Wednesday evening arrived, I still didn't have any idea what was going to happen. In the end, Effy and I had decided that it must be something to do with the one factory that had not yet been sold to 'Smith Holdings'. Our grand plan involved me hanging around in the sky above it, hoping to see something of interest. It was admittedly a long-shot, but it was all we had to go on.<p>

But first, I arrived as Ultra Woman at Robenna Mansion to collect Emily for our fake date. The door was opened for me by James. He let me in then checked me out in a very blatant manner.

"Emily, your ride's here!" He called up the stairs.

"You mean her date" I corrected. James smirked at me.

"I know what I meant" he answered with a wink. Before I could reply, Emily appeared at the top of the stairs, and my attention was naturally drawn immediately to my beautiful girlfriend.

"You ready to go?" I asked her, knowing that a goofy smile was firmly in place across my lips. As she reached the foot of the stairs, Emily nodded. Then she turned her back and bellowed:

"I'm just going on my date with Ultra Woman" to the house at large. Then she grabbed my hand and led me back through the front door. Once outside, she stepped closer to me. "I wasn't about to kiss you in front of my pervy brother" she explained, as she moved nearer. I leaned down towards her, and gratefully met her lips with my own. We shared slow, passionate kisses that took my breath away. I could hear a shuffling sound from inside the house, and instantly guessed what James was up to. Without breaking from Emily's lips, I reached up and placed my hand so that it was covering the spy-hole on the door. A softly muttered exclamation of 'shit!' met my ears from somewhere within.

Once we finally emerged for air, I flew Emily back to my place.

"I thought we were going to the factory?" She asked in puzzlement. I rolled my eyes at her.

"_We_? Emily, _I'm_ going to the factory, you can wait here." I opened the door, and steered Emily firmly into the house through the back door. She glared at me.

"So while you go off to investigate, I'm supposed to just sit here drinking tea with your mother?" She asked, indignantly. Then with a guilty expression, she turned to face my mum who was busy making dinner. "No offence, Gina."

"None taken" beamed my mother.

"Why should I be left behind?" Asked Emily, turning on me once again. I sighed. I should have known that this would happen.

"When _you_ have super powers, then you can join me in dangerous situations, okay?"

"That's your excuse for everything – having super powers." She pouted at me, and although we were supposed to be having an important debate, I found it incredibly sexy. It was very distracting. "You can't just expect me to stay out of this!" She argued. "It's _my_ mother involved in it all! And _my_ name that they're using to buy up all this land! So I can't just sit here and wait, while _my_ girlfriend goes to investigate!"

"She's got a point, love."

I rounded on my unhelpful mother.

"Whose fucking side are you on?" I demanded. Mum just shrugged.

"Yours dear. And Emily's. The two of you are on the same side, you know."

"I know that!" Shit, why does she have to complicate things? I turned back towards Emily. "You can't come with me. It could be dangerous, and we don't know…"

"Okay." Emily's compliance was spoken so quickly that it took me completely by surprise.

"What?"

"You're right, I should stay here" she said with uncharacteristic meekness.

"Well yeah, it…uhm…"

"It might be dangerous."

"Exactly! And I… Well, I'm glad you understand."

Emily nodded. I felt pleased and gratified that she had so calmly accepted why she couldn't be involved. I kissed her goodbye and hastily flew off into the early-evening sky.

One hour later, and I was beginning to see the sense in having some company with me. I had been hovering in the sky over the factory for a whole sixty minutes without anything remotely interesting having happened. Still, there was no way that I would have let Emily come with me. There was still the potential for some real danger this evening, and I had no wish to subject her to that. I found myself musing on the wonderfully calm way that Emily had accepted her lack of involvement. I guess she just saw the sense of my reasoned argument. Sure, I know how much she's involved in all of this. And I know what a resourceful and competent woman she is, but the simple fact is that we are dealing with an arsonist. I'm flame-retardant, and Emily isn't.

A noise from below brought my mind back to the present time. I glanced down and saw a movement to the rear of the factory. I flew closer, being careful to still keep enough distance to not be seen from below. I held my breath and watched closely. It was Cook, closely followed by JJ and Freddie. They were skulking around, looking for all the world like three men who really shouldn't be there. As I watched, they sloped away from the factory and disappeared into the night with practiced ease. Until JJ tripped over a pile of crates that is.

I cursed my own stupidity. The three of them must have been in the building already when I got here. I had done a quick scan, but not thoroughly enough to have seen them. There I was just assuming that whatever was going to happen would take place _after_ I had set off on my date with Emily.

Once the three of them were out of earshot from the factory, I moved closer. I entered the building by the same door that they must have used. It had originally been padlocked shut, but someone had cut the padlock away with bolt-cutters. Tentatively, I stepped inside. It was no longer an operational factory – the second fire had seen to that. But structurally it was still sound, and there were various signs of ongoing repair work. Carefully, I began to look around for any sign of what Cook and the others may have been doing. Nothing was immediately apparent, except for a strange ticking noise that reached my ears. The sound gave me an ominous feeling, so I quickened my pace.

I soon discovered the source of the mysterious noise. Placed out of sight within a cupboard was a small yet potentially powerful explosive device.

"Fuck!" I quickly summed up my options, mentally. The easiest way to deal with the device would just be to fly it out of here and into the upper atmosphere. From there, the explosion could do no real damage. But ideally I wanted to keep the device intact. It was probably covered in DNA evidence that would not survive an incineration. I took a closer look, hoping that I would be able to disarm it. It had a timer on it that was counting down ominously. It showed that I had less than a minute in which to act.

"Wow, is that a bomb?"

At the sound of that familiar voice, I span around in a panic.

"Shitting hell, Emily! What the fuck are you doing here?" I had been so absorbed in what I was doing that I hadn't even realised that I wasn't the only person in the building anymore. So much for Emily accepting my decision to keep her out of this. The red-head gave a casual shrug, as though being inches away from a bomb was nothing out of the ordinary for her.

"I told you I couldn't just sit around waiting for you!"

"Emily, this thing is about to explode in..." I glanced at the timer that was still incessantly counting down. "...Twenty seconds! This is really dangerous!"

"I need to know what's going on!" She argued stubbornly. I gestured at the explosive device.

"What's going on is that I have about twenty seconds to disable this thing…"

"Naomi, you said that fifteen seconds ago."

"Don't interrupt me! I've got to disarm this bomb in…" A cold dread descended over me, as I took in what Emily had said. "Oh hell's fucking teeth! Get down!" With no more time left, all I could do was grab hold of Emily and use my body to shield her from the imminent blast. I pushed her to a crouching position on the ground and covered as much of her as I possibly could.

Suddenly, the explosion ripped violently through the building. I was more scared than I had ever been in my life before. Not for myself: I knew that my body could withstand the barrage around us. My fear was all for Emily. Would the protection from my body really be enough to safeguard another person? I had never had reason to find out before. I held on for all I was worth while huge chunks of debris fell, scattering great clouds of dust everywhere. I prayed that my body would be strong enough to protect Emily.

Once the noise subsided and the carnage drew to an end, I looked down at Emily held within my arms.

"Are you okay?" I demanded, urgently. I heard no response, and my throat tightened with fear. "Emily! Fuck, Emily are you okay?" I quickly scanned her body for any signs of life. I almost cried with relief when I saw that her heart was still beating away rhythmically. There were no obvious signs of injury, she must have just been knocked unconscious. I swiftly scooped her up into my arms and flew her as fast as I could to Bristol Hospital. I didn't even bother to look back at the wreck of the factory. I didn't give a shit about anything but Emily.

* * *

><p>Some time later, and I was feeling slightly happier. Emily was conscious again. She had been checked over by a doctor who had declared her to be fit and well. She had a slight concussion, but she would not entertain the doctor's suggestion that she should stay in hospital overnight for observation.<p>

"I'm fine!" She had insisted. "There's no need to fuss, I'll be okay after a good night's sleep." Once the doctor had left the room, she added to me: "Besides, I don't want mum to know that I've been in hospital. She doesn't need to know that we were in that factory at all." I really wished that Emily would reconsider, but I had recently learned that it was pointless to argue with her once she has made up her mind. Instead, I contented myself with giving her a lecture about why she should leave dangerous tasks for me to handle in future. "Okay, okay" she said with a smirk as my sermon drew to a close. "I'm sorry. I didn't really think that there would be a bomb there!" She glanced around us at our surroundings: a small examination room within casualty. "You take me to some lovely places on our dates" she muttered with a smile.

"Come on: I'll fly you home."

After seeing Emily safely back to her room, I headed home.

"Did anything happen then?" Asked mum as I walked into the sitting room.

"There was a bomb in the factory, and the whole place exploded."

"Oh dear."

"Oh dear?" I snapped. "A whole building exploded, with Emily inside it – knocking her unconscious and giving her a concussion - and all you can say is 'oh _fucking_ dear'?" Mum stared back at me, concern etched across her face.

"Is Emily okay?"

"Yes" I grudgingly conceded. "But you should never have let her go! What the hell were you thinking, letting her join me at the factory?"

"Naomi, she's a grown woman! She's capable of making her own decisions. What was I supposed to do? Tie her down?" She chuckled at her own suggestion. "That may be _your_ idea of a fun night with Emily, but it's not mine!" I scowled at her. Mum rolled her eyes. "You can't control everything, Naomi. You have to accept that Emily is not the sort of woman to sit quietly at home waiting for news!" I sighed and sank down next to her on the sofa.

"I know. But mum, when I realised that Emily was there I just felt so scared. I've never felt so… so… so _helpless_! What if I couldn't have protected her?"

"But you _did_ protect her" said mum, gently. "You kept her safe."

"I suppose so" I muttered, rising straight back to my feet again. I couldn't settle at all this evening, until I knew that Emily was completely okay. "I'm going back over to the Fitch place. I'm just going to make sure…" I let my sentence trail away unfinished. Mum simply nodded – she didn't need me to explain.

I had no intention of disturbing Emily. Sleep was probably the best thing for her, so I just sat myself on the roof of her house. I used my x-ray vision to check that all was well – making sure that her breathing was still steady and calm. Feeling slightly better, I wrapped my cape around me and settled myself down for the night.

* * *

><p>Sometime around two in the morning, a chauffer-driven limousine pulled onto the driveway. Mr and Mrs Fitch emerged from the car, dressed in smart evening-wear. Jenna staggered slightly, showing obvious signs of being rather tipsy. My emotions were still running high after an eventful night. Although I knew it wasn't a good idea, I flew down and landed lightly in front of the pair.<p>

"Ultra Woman!" Gushed Jenna in her usual ingratiating tone reserved only for my super alter-ego. "How wonderful to see you. Did you and Emily have a lovely date?" I had no wish to engage in small-talk with them. I placed my hands on my hips and fixed a stern look to my face.

"I know about the bomb in the factory" I said, bluntly. Jenna and Rob feigned puzzled expressions, but the alcohol in their systems slowed their reactions somewhat. I caught a look of annoyance crossing between them both first.

"A bomb? What factory?" Asked Jenna.

"I know it was you" I insisted with a shake of my head. "And I'm here to tell you that you're not going to get away with it." Jenna let out a fake, tinkering laugh.

"Ultra Woman, you seem to be making a very serious accusation! I don't know what you're talking about, but we have been at a charity function all evening on the other side of town!"

"And with some of the finest people from this town in attendance" added Rob. I suppressed a snort at that – his definition of 'finest' probably meant 'wealthiest'. "We have plenty of witnesses. The mayor for one, several prominent council members, and a large number of local business men and women!"

"Oh I know you didn't carry out the dirty work yourselves" I argued. "I know you will have taken every care to make sure that nothing leads back to the two of you. I just wanted you to know that I'm on to your little scheme, and you won't get away with it!" As I watched, Jenna's eyes narrowed and she threw me a ferocious glare. I realised that was probably the most reaction that I would be able to provoke from them, so I decided to leave them for now. With all the gravitas I could muster, I rose into the night sky.

I didn't go far though. Unseen by Jenna and Rob, I settled myself back onto their roof to watch over my girlfriend for the remainder of the night.

It was about an hour later before I realised the little slip that Jenna had made. If I had noticed at the time then I could have used it to press for more information, but this was the first I had realised her blunder. Since I hadn't explained to them which factory I was actually talking about, how the hell did Jenna know that they were on the other side of town?

* * *

><p><strong>Well, I hope that was okay. <strong>

**On another note: sincere apologies to any of you who had been following my blog (so that would be about 3 people then). I still love the idea of writing a blog, but it seems highly unlikely that I will get back to updating it anytime in the near future. If I do start it - or another blog - up again, then I will only do so if I have enough ideas to be able to keep it going. And if that happens, I will notify on here that that's the case.**

**Anyway, thanks so much to any of you still following this or my other story! I still have every intention of finishing both. If you do feel so inclined, please let me know what you thought of this chapter.**

**Myrtle**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hello there! Two updates in as many months? I'm really on a roll now.**

**So I hope you enjoy this chapter. The plot has taken a little bit of a back-seat in this one, but I think that's usually the way with this story.**

**Five points to anyone spotting the vintage British TV reference!**

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><p>I walked up the gravel driveway towards Robenna Mansion. I had already been buzzed through the gates and was heading to the front door. It's a bit of a pain not being able to fly straight up to them, but Emily was now officially dating me as Naomi, and I have to keep up pretences. She had informed her parents that she split up with Ultra Woman, and this was my first time at the house since then. I wasn't expecting a particularly warm reception from Jenna.<p>

It was two weeks since the bomb at the factory. Thankfully, Emily had suffered no lasting damage from her ordeal. After investigation, the police and fire crews declared that the blast had been caused by a gas leak. I knew that was bollocks of course, but there wasn't much that I could do about it in the face of such widespread corruption. The council had swiftly moved in and declared that the foundations of the building had been extensively damaged. Therefore any attempts to re-build would be lengthy and extremely expensive. We were fully expecting the owner of the factory to give in and sell it to Smith Holdings any day now. And then? We had no doubts that the council would promptly overturn their decision, and declare the land fit for re-building.

The door to the Fitch house was thrown open by Emily. She had a dazzling smile on her face. I grinned back at her then moved closer for a kiss. Instead of meeting my lips, Emily grabbed my arms and pulled me across the threshold. Once in the hallway, she pushed me back against the wall and kissed me as if it was about to be made illegal. As I wrapped my arms around her and sank into the kiss, I heard a noise of disgust somewhere off to one side. Emily was not to be denied though, and kept on with her snogging assault. I realise that the word 'assault' makes it sound unpleasant, but believe me when I say that it was anything but.

It was some minutes before my girlfriend relinquished her hold on me and let me breath again. I glanced around for the source of the animosity, but there was no longer anyone else around. Emily giggled as she took my hand and led me up the stairs.

"Sorry about that, but mum was there and I knew that would really drive her mad."

"Happy to be of service" I answered, as we reached her room and closed the door behind us. "But you know what would really piss her off?" I slid my arms around Emily's waist and pulled her in close to me. "If she thought we were up here shagging each other senseless…"

Emily leaned in towards my ear.

"Maybe later" she murmured. "But you know fine well that we're meeting Panda and Thomas in a few minutes."

"I've got super-speed" I reminded her. "I can be really quick." Emily took my hands and led me over to sit down on her bed.

"If something's worth doing, then it's worth doing properly" was her reply. "And you…" she licked her lips as her eyes moved appraisingly across my body. "…are definitely worth doing_._"

"Okay then, later it is." I sighed, admitting defeat. "But after getting me so worked up by kissing me like that, you've got to give me _something_!"

"What did you have in mind?"

Like a child spotting their favourite toy, my eyes were drawn inexorably downwards.

"Give me a quick flash" I said, unashamedly addressing Emily's cleavage. She laughed playfully.

"Babe, you're obsessed with my tits!"

"That's because they're so lovely" I answered, sliding a hand up to caress one of them through her t-shirt. "Come on – just a quick glimpse to remind me how perfect they are." Emily steered my roving hand towards more neutral territory.

"You've got a photo of them for that."

"Only of one of them" I grumbled. Of course that didn't stop the photo from being one of my all-time favourites.

"That's more than I've got" answered Emily with a frown. "I've just realised that I don't have a single photograph of you. Can I have one?"

"Yeah, of course! Just as long as you're not wanting one of mum's baby photos of me!"

Emily shook her head and gave me a sly smile.

"No honey, it's definitely an _adult_ photo that I'm after."

"Oh." I swallowed, nervously. I really don't think I would feel comfortable posing for a photo like that. "What… what did you have in mind?" Emily shrugged.

"Just surprise me. There are loads of photos of Ultra Woman, but it would be nice to have a one that was just for me."

Seeing a possible way out of this, I seized on it.

"Ah, but Ultra Woman's not your girlfriend anymore. How am _I_ supposed to feel if you carry a photo of a superhero around in your purse?" Emily rolled her eyes at me.

"Well since you know that you _are_ Ultra Woman, I assumed that you would be able to contain your jealousy!"

"But your family doesn't know that!" I insisted in desperation. "If any of them saw it…"

"I wasn't planning on framing it and hanging it on the wall! God, do you really think I'd be stupid enough to let my family see it?"

Guilt prickled my skin, as I remembered what had happened to the photo that Emily had texted to me.

"Well no, I didn't think that _you'd_ be stupid enough" I muttered. I stared down at the bed, unable to look Emily in the eye.

"Naoms, what's wrong?" She asked, sensing my sudden discomfort. I bit my lip. I had to come clean with her – no matter how mad it might make her. I raised my eyes back up to Emily's and did my best to explain.

"Em listen: you know when you sent me that picture of your piercing?" Emily nodded and waited patiently for me to continue. "Well… you didn't. Send it, I mean. Not to me, anyway."

A frown creased her brow.

"What do you mean I didn't send it? That's your number, isn't it?" Okay, crunch time. I shook my head gently.

"No."

"But that's the number you gave me! You gave me one as Ultra Woman and one as Naomi…"

Oh God.

"Emily, I only have one number. I'd already given you my number as Ultra Woman, so when you asked me for my number as Naomi, I gave you… someone else's."

Emily's eyes narrowed at this piece of news.

"Then whose number did you give me?" She demanded. Her eyes suddenly went wide as a thought occurred to her. "Naomi, if I've sent a picture of my tit to _Kieran_ then I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

"No!" I almost shouted the word in relief, as I realised that this wasn't as bad as it could have been. "It was my mum's phone."

Emily frowned again.

"Oh fuck. I sent a picture of my pierced nipple to my girlfriend's mother."

"I admit it's not the best way to win over the parents."

"Well at least it wasn't Kieran's phone" she muttered with resignation. "Nobody else saw it, right?"

"No, of course not" I soothed. "Well, mum almost showed it to Tony, but I managed to stop her." Shit. Why the hell did I feel the need to add that part? I tried to climb out of the hole I had got myself into. "If it's any consolation, mum didn't even recognise what the picture was of." As Emily looked quizzically at me, I felt the need to explain further. It did sound odd that any woman wouldn't know what a boob looks like. "She was pretty tipsy when she saw it. And she doesn't go around looking at boobs a lot, so she's not really used to seeing them" I babbled. "Although Kieran does have quite a large pair." Emily suddenly chuckled, and with a flood of relief I realised that she wasn't too mad at me.

"Naoms, why didn't you tell me before?" She asked, suddenly.

"I was going to!" Emily scoffed at that. "I was, I promise you! I meant to tell you that night when I came round here, but…" I smiled whimsically, as the memories came back to me. "…but you stripped naked in front of me and insisted we go skinny-dipping. That's the kind of thing that can empty a girl's head completely." A hazy look came into Emily's eyes. She grinned softly, and I could tell that she was also recalling our first night together.

But after a moment or two, she was brought back to the present.

"I still can't believe I sent a photo like that to your mother" she grumbled.

"I'm sorry" I insisted. "I'll make it up to you, I promise" I added for good measure.

"Really?" Asked Emily, her demeanour brightening all of a sudden.

"Whatever you want – I'll do it."

Emily arched an eyebrow at me, and I knew that I was done for.

"Can I have a saucy picture of you?" She asked in a sweet voice. Oh fuck. Well I walked right into that one, didn't I? Still hoping to get out of it, I tried a different tack.

"I'm not very photogenic."

"Bullshit" Emily informed me with a snort. I frowned slightly – she really wasn't going to let this go. Seeing my reaction, Emily hesitated. "Naoms, its okay if you don't want to." Her words left me surprised – I thought she was quite set on getting that photo. She gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Ultra Woman's famous. I know you have to be really careful about things like that." I felt instantly guilty. My objections had simply been based around my own embarrassment, nothing more. I didn't want Emily to think that I couldn't trust her with such an item. I no longer had any doubts that I can trust her whole-heartedly, and I wanted her to understand that.

"No! Emily, that's not it. I mean you're right - I _do_ have to be careful. I couldn't give that sort of thing to just anyone. And after what happened with Sophia, I thought I'd never want to with _anyone_." I reached a hand up to stroke gently across Emily's cheek. I stared into her eyes, willing her to see my sincerity. "But I trust you completely. I know that you would never use anything like that against me." She gave me a small, tender smile, and I saw that my words had hit home. She pecked me lightly on the lips.

"Naoms, if you feel too uncomfortable…" I had the way out that I had been looking for, but somehow I no longer wanted it.

"I'll do it" I insisted, with more confidence than I felt. I seriously would do anything for Emily, so if she wants a naughty snapshot then that's exactly what she'll get.

She leaned in closer to kiss me, but the moment didn't last long. Our lips had scarcely met before there was a knock at the door. It was opened by Katie.

"Are you bitches ready?" She asked. As she walked into the room, I lapsed into my own thoughts. I felt a bit glum about the picture that I had promised Emily. Sure, I would do anything for her, but that didn't mean that I was completely comfortable about it. I was in need of something to raise my spirits. Emily rose from the bed and walked towards her wardrobe.

"I'm nearly ready, I just need to change my top."

That ought to do it.

* * *

><p>A little later, the twins and I walked into The Cock And Bull pub to meet Thomas, Panda and Effy. They had already arrived, so we made our way over to their table. After our initial greetings, Panda turned to Emily.<p>

"So your text said you had some news. What's up?"

Emily reached for my hand and interlaced her fingers with mine.

"Ultra Woman and I have split up. I'm going out with Naomi now."

Panda and Thomas exchanged concerned glances.

"Emily, I'm so sorry…" began Thomas. Emily shook her head.

"No, its fine. _I_ ended it." She turned to me and gave me a beautiful, dazzling smile. "I broke up with her because I've fallen in love with Naomi."

"Oh, that's… that's really…" Thomas drifted into a startled silence. Amazingly, Panda also seemed at a loss for something to say. After staring at us both with a puzzled expression for a few moments, she eventually managed to speak.

"That's great Em, I'm really happy for you" she said, but she still looked confused.

"I'll get us some drinks" I announced. Their stilted reaction left me feeling uncomfortable, and I was happy to get away from the table.

"I'll give you a hand" said Effy as she eased herself from her barstool.

Once we reached the bar, I heard a muttered conversation begin in earnest behind us. Panda and Thomas would assume that I was out of earshot, but of course I could hear every word.

"So what _really_ happened with Ultra Woman?" Asked Thomas in an urgent whisper.

"I told you: I broke up with her because I fell for Naomi." I could hear a mild confusion in Emily's voice - their reaction clearly had her puzzled. "We're still going to be friends…"

"Did she dump you?" Asked Panda, her voice laced with concern.

"No, _I_ broke up with _her_" insisted Emily.

"For Naomi?" Asked Thomas. I frowned slightly, at the evident disbelief in his voice. He suddenly seemed to catch himself, and started to back-track. "I mean, she seems really nice…"

"Oh she's _lovely_" chipped in Panda. "She's totally groovy, but…" words seemed to fail her after that. With rising indignation, I felt like I was beginning to understand. There was a pause in their conversation, and I could well imagine all eyes at the table were turned in my direction.

"You really chose _Naomi_ over Ultra Woman?" Asked Thomas at last. Emily sighed.

"Yes" she said firmly. "I'm in love with her. Seriously guys, I really love her. You don't know her very well yet, but I really want you to get to know her properly. You'll see how great she is."

"Of course" answered Thomas warmly. "I'm sure we'll become great friends with her."

"Yeah, Emsy, I'm sure we'll love her" added Panda. Hearing nothing but sincerity in their voices, I felt a little easier.

Once our drinks had arrived and been paid for, I had no reason to linger at the bar any longer. I turned back towards the table to see its four occupants all staring back at me. Emily gave me an apologetic smile, clearly realising that I would have heard every word of their conversation. The unmistakeable amusement dancing in Katie's eyes showed me that she had realised the same thing. I took a deep breath and walked back towards them. If ever I needed to make a good impression as Naomi, now was the time.

I placed the drinks down and sank into a seat next to Emily. I looked around at the sea of expectant faces, all staring at me, waiting to like me. I sighed, inwardly. Situations like this were always so much easier as my alter-ego. Everyone knows that Ultra Woman leads an exciting life – she has adventures all the time. All I have to do is chat about my day, and my audience is enthralled. But what drama had happened to me recently? Plain, ordinary Naomi?

I scratched around in the recesses of my memory, hoping for some sort of anecdote. In desperation, I latched on to the first thing to come to mind – my most recent bit of drama. I took a large gulp of my drink then launched into my tale.

"So… I er… I went to the bathroom this morning." Everyone leaned in slightly, hanging on my every word. "I needed the loo, but there was no toilet paper there. Someone must have used the last, and not replaced the roll." I caught Effy giving me a pitying stare, which did nothing to ease my nerves.

"So what did you do?" Asked Emily, barely able to feign any interest.

"Well luckily I realised before I sat down, so I just went to get some more." Yes, its non-stop action in the Campbell house, folks!

"Hardly a job for Ultra Woman then!" Said Katie, delight written all over her face.

* * *

><p>Much later, I was back again in the entrance hallway of Robenna Mansion, having accompanied the twins home.<p>

"I think that went well" said Emily, with optimism. Amazingly, I felt inclined to agree with her. After an awkward start, the rest of the evening had gone quite smoothly. As time had gone on I relaxed a bit more, and had managed to gain more control over my verbal diarrhoea. Panda and Thomas had made every effort to get to know me, and I really felt touched by their attempts.

"But I doubt it'll be so easy to win over your parents" I grumbled. I know that the elder Fitches only liked Emily's relationship with Ultra Woman because they thought they could use it for their own ends. And I know that they are both a couple of megalomaniac psychopaths, who I have every intention of thwarting. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to make a good impression with my girlfriend's parents, does it? Emily sighed.

"No, that's going to be a much harder task." She slid her arms around me and cuddled into my side. "But you can't take that personally - they still hate the fact that I'm gay, so they'll never like any girl that I date. They might make an exception for a superhero, but not for anyone else." Not for the first time, I felt so lucky to have been taken in as a baby by Gina, instead of by people like the Fitches. Gina is open-minded, and didn't bat an eyelid when I first came out to her. She wants me to date whoever makes me happy, not whoever is most famous or useful. And perhaps most telling of all: she's not an insane arsonist up to her eyeballs in corruption.

"I'm sure you'll win them around eventually" said Katie with a yawn as she kicked off her shoes. "There's no way Emily's going to dump you, so they'll have to get used to you eventually." I grinned at Katie's assertion that Emily and I are pretty much for keeps.

"Thanks Katie." Katie waved away my gratitude and began to walk up the stairs. Half-way up, she turned back to face me.

"Hey, tell them that toilet paper story" she smirked. "I'm sure they'll really love that." Katie chuckled away to herself as she climbed the remainder of the stairs.

Emily's arms were still wrapped around my waist. She gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't worry about them. I don't care what my parents think." I nodded, before moving in for a kiss.

"So do you want to stay tonight?" Murmured Emily as we broke apart.

"Does the pope shit in the woods? I'd love to."

* * *

><p>Oh fucking hell. Oh Goddy-God. What on Earth was I thinking when I agreed to this? I must have been insane. Yes, that's it: temporary insanity, brought about by lust for Emily Fitch.<p>

Seriously, have you any idea how tricky it is to take a photograph of yourself? It's ridiculous. I've seen people do it – there's always someone on a night out who grabs their best friend into a headlock while grinning into their outstretched mobile phone – but I've never had reason to try it before now. No matter how I've tried, my arm just won't stretch far enough away from me. I was hoping to go for 'tastefully erotic and alluring', not 'I was pissed and couldn't hold the camera straight'.

Just then, the door to my bedroom was thrown open and Effy sauntered in.

"Jesus Eff! Haven't you heard of knocking?" I yelled.

"It's over-rated" she answered with a shrug. Mortified at being caught taking photographs of myself, I had hastily swung my phone behind my back when Effy walked in. But I suddenly realised that holding my phone was the _least_ embarrassing part of my current predicament. Yes, you've guessed it: I was naked. Not completely naked of course – because that wouldn't be quite humiliating enough, would it?

No, to add an extra bit of spice to the moment, I was wearing Ultra Woman's boots.

And Ultra Woman's cape.

And nothing else, apart from a smile that I hoped was both seductive and sultry.

Surreptitiously, I tugged at my woefully inadequate cape, trying to cover at least some of my nudity. Maybe Effy won't notice, I hoped. Since my cloak only reached to the base of my bum, my chances of that were pretty slim.

"Just got back?" She asked. That would explain why I was dressed as Ultra Woman - I usually got changed as soon as I was home.

"Yeah. There were some joy-riders – a bit of a car chase." It was true enough, but I had returned home half an hour ago, not just a few moments ago. Effy nodded.

"Right." The ghost of a smirk played across her lips. "It's just… I wondered if there'd been another fire. I thought maybe you'd gotten too hot."

"Fucking hell, Eff!" Abandoning all pretence, I snatched up a baggy t-shirt from my bed and covered my modesty with it. The smirk on my best friend's face became more pronounced.

"No wait! You're trying out a new outfit – because the old one still left _some_ things to the imagination."

"Bitch" I grumbled, hoping that Effy would just leave and let me get dressed. But she wasn't finished laughing at my expense, yet.

"Or perhaps your girlfriend wants some obscene photos of you" she said, with the air of someone who knows that they are right. She leaned closer and tapped the side of her nose conspiratorially. "Nudge nudge, snap snap, grin grin." If any part of me had not already flushed bright red with shame, it did so at that moment. Effy chuckled. "There's no need to be so embarrassed - we've all been there."

"Really?" I asked with interest, my discomfort momentarily forgotten.

"You're never going to see the evidence" she answered, without a trace of bashfulness. I snorted.

"Oh please! I got over my crush on you years ago."

"You wish."

Effy had always known that I had a huge crush on her when we first met. I had quickly leant that hardly anything escaped her notice. But although my feelings had never been reciprocated, she had never let them get in the way of our friendship.

I looked down at my phone still clutched in my hand and sighed.

"I just can't figure out how to take pictures of myself. My arm isn't long enough." Effy rolled her eyes at me.

"You don't use your phone for it! Use a regular camera with a timer setting."

"I can't figure out how those timers work."

Effy shook her head sadly.

"And you were TIME magazine's 'person of the year'."

"Did you come here for a particular reason, or just to insult me?" I snapped, my patience wearing a little thin.

"No, that was just a bonus. I came up to let you know that we're ready to start our film night." I had forgotten about that. We had arranged to have a night in with the Stonem family, watching a film and having a few drinks. "I'll let you get dressed" added Effy as she turned to go. I glanced down at my phone again. A thought suddenly occurred to me.

"Effy, I don't suppose you could…"

"No" she said simply, as she walked away. "A world of no."

Oh well, back to the drawing board. Maybe I should dig out my old digital camera and try to use the timer on it. I was sure that I could figure out how to use it – I hadn't even tried, really. I was just embarrassed to admit that I hadn't thought of that. Or perhaps the best idea would be to just let Emily take the pictures herself. That way, there's a very good chance that the shoot will end with me feeling a much nicer emotion than abject humiliation.

I got dressed and headed downstairs to join the others. Our film nights were becoming quite a regular event. Every so often we all got together with popcorn and plenty of wine to watch a film. We each took a turn to pick what we watched. Tonight it was Anthea's turn to choose, which meant that we would probably be watching Thelma and Louise for about the thirtieth time. To her, it's the perfect movie: female empowerment, women trying to get away with murder, and Brad Pitt's bum. It took us an extra half an hour to watch the film last time, as Anthea tried desperately to pause it while Brad's arse was on screen.

"Anything of interest in my fan-mail?" I asked Anthea as mum handed round bowls of popcorn. I had recently dropped off a new bagful of Ultra Woman's mail at the Stonem household.

"Just this, so far" she answered, handing me a smart, hand-written envelope. I slid the contents out. It was a posh-looking invitation on expensive paper with embossed ink. I quickly scanned the writing. It was an invite to a 'canapés and cocktails soiree' being held by Jenna and Rob Fitch at Robenna Mansion in a couple of weeks time. I read the basic details aloud for the whole room to hear.

"They must have sent it before Ultra Woman split up with Emily" suggested Effy. I checked the postmark on the envelope.

"No, they sent it a couple of days ago." Which was after Emily told them about our split. And certainly after my little run-in with them on the night of the bombing. So why on earth did the Fitches want Ultra Woman there? We all spent a good few minutes debating that question, without anyone coming up with a plausible explanation. "There's only one way to find out then" I said at last. Mum looked shocked.

"You're not actually thinking of going, are you?" She demanded.

"I need to know what they're up to!" I handed the invite over to her. "Look, it's hinting about some big announcement that they are going to make on the night. I might find out why they've been buying up all that land!"

"Or you might find out why you suddenly went weak in their basement!" Countered mum.

"That's not going to happen again. I've been in the house loads of times and it's never happened since that first time."

"But if they _want_ you to be there…"

"Then I'm going to give them what they want!" I declared firmly. "I'm going, mum. I have to find out what's going on." I took the invite back from her and gave it another glance. "It says I can take a 'plus one'. Effy, will you be my date?"

"Sure" she answered with a lazy smile. "As long as you promise to wear your _whole_ costume."

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that. Let me know what you think!<strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**Well would you look at this? Here we go with a new chapter! I'm sorry it's been so long, but I got really stuck with this story. BIG THANKS go out to the awesome and truly lovely Miss Maraudeur, who helped me to get back into the swing of writing this story again. We had a brainstorming session for an important scene to come, and that really helped me to get things clear. She has also come up with some great, funny ideas too. Seriously: for anyone hoping to give comedy writing a try, I can heartily recommend finding someone with a similar sense of humour to yourself, and just chatting about some ideas.**

**I'm sure that you are all reading Educating Naomi already, but if for some reason you have missed it: give it a go. You will love it.**

**And you should be warned that this chapter contains silliness. Lots and lots of silliness.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>I was lounging around at Robenna Mansion, spending some quality time with my girlfriend. Katie, Emily and I were all sat in the sitting room watching TV. Emily and I were sat on the sofa, Emily with her legs stretched out comfortably across my lap.<p>

Jenna walked in, stifling the relaxed atmosphere merely by her presence.

"Katie, is Jamie coming to our little soiree?" She asked.

"Well I told him about it" answered Katie without looking away from the TV.

"Who's Jamie?" I asked, my curiosity piqued because I had not heard the name mentioned before. Katie beamed proudly at me.

"Jamie _Jones_. He's my new boyfriend." Clearly, she felt that the name should mean something to me. It didn't. Katie huffed in exasperation. "I thought lesbians were supposed to be into football? Jamie Jones… he plays football for Bristol City, but there's loads of premiership teams hoping to sign him in the summer."

"He's a real catch, Katiekins" gushed Jenna. "It would be wonderful to have him here for our soiree." Emily and I exchanged knowing smiles at Jenna's love of all things celebrity.

"So does that mean I can invite Naomi?" Asked Emily suddenly. Jenna's smile slipped instantly.

"Numbers are rather tight..."

"If Katie's bringing a date, then why can't I?"

"Well Katie's bringing a _man_…" began Jenna, lighting the fuse of Emily's temper.

"So?" She demanded, abruptly. "What difference does that make? Katie's straight, so she dates men. I'm gay so I date women!" She grabbed quickly for my hand. "I mean, woman. Naomi. I'm dating Naomi, and I want to bring my date to your party."

Jenna sighed as though summoning up great reserves of patience.

"It's a _soiree_, Emily."

I didn't much fancy the idea of hanging out at an event that was too posh to be called a party. Especially since the host clearly didn't want me there.

"Emily, I don't think I can go…" Emily rounded on me with a frown.

"What do you mean you can't go? You're my girlfriend, Naomi! I want you there with me!"

"I might be busy that night…" my poor attempts at an excuse just seemed to irritate Emily.

"Busy doing what?" She demanded, her anger starting to turn towards me. "You never mentioned anything to me! And I haven't even told you when it is, yet!"

Mental note for the future: always find out when an event is _before_ inventing a prior engagement.

"Can we talk about it later?" I asked, sheepishly.

"No! I want to know why you won't come to this party with me?"

"It's a soiree…" put in Jenna. No-one was listening.

"Naomi, it's really important for Fitch Corp, and I want to have you there with me." Emily looked pleadingly at me, and I wished that I had the ability to convey messages non-verbally amongst my powers. Couldn't she see that I just didn't want to increase her mother's bad opinion of me?

"Emily, don't embarrass Naomi" said Jenna, a smile full of triumph on her face. "If she doesn't want to go, then don't make her. She knows that it won't be her type of thing."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Asked Emily, thankfully turning her annoyance back towards her mother.

"Well, it's going to be quite a posh event, Emily. _We_ are used to moving in the superior circles of Bristol society, but Naomi…" She cast her derogatory stare over me as she spoke my name. "We won't be serving cans of larger and pizza, you know! Naomi knows that she would be quite out of place there." Jenna was clearly no student of human psychology. Her words, designed to keep me from coming to her crappy party, had exactly the opposite effect.

"I wouldn't feel out of place!" I argued, hastily. Jenna smirked, no doubt in her mind that I would.

"Naomi, there will be celebrities there, local council dignitaries… several _very_ wealthy people. You know that it just won't be your level."

Her patronising face blinded me to all sense.

"I wouldn't be out of place!" I snapped. "In fact, I would _love_ to come to your party – soiree, I mean. I happily accept your invitation!" I ignored the fact that there had been no such invitation from Jenna, only a one from Emily. My girlfriend's mother scowled at me.

"Fine" she answered, through a grimace. "But just try not to talk to…" she considered the matter for a moment, before adding: "…_anyone_!"

"So which celebrities are gonna be there?" Asked Katie suddenly. "Apart from Jamie, that is."

Jenna drew herself up to her full height, and with self-evident pride, began her list.

"Well, we have that girl who came third in Big Brother a couple of years back. Dom Littlewood has confirmed, as well as Michaela Strachan." She tutted with annoyance at the name. "We were _hoping_ she would bring Timmy Mallet as her date, but apparently they don't really see each other any more. Though I suppose if she brought along Chris Packham…" Jenna lapsed into silence for a moment as she contemplated the possible 'plus one' of a former children's TV presenter.

"Who else?" Prompted Katie. Jenna snapped out of her internal musings.

"Well Harriet knows someone who plays golf with Andi Peters, so she's trying to get an invite to him. Samantha Brick's RSVP arrived this morning, along with one from Nick Nowles. And it's only a possibility at the moment, but we just _might_ have one of The Chuckle Brothers coming, too. Keep your fingers crossed."

I couldn't make eye-contact with Emily. From the way she was shaking, I could tell that she was struggling as hard as I was to contain her giggles. Her mother's boastful tone as she recited her line-up of Z-list celebrities was too much.

"Which Chuckle Brother?" I ventured, unable to help myself. Jenna's smile faltered a little.

"Not the funny one, unfortunately" she muttered. The whole sofa was now trembling with suppressed mirth. I didn't even know that there _was_ a funny Chuckle Brother. Jenna's mood lifted as she remembered her final celebrity guest.

"Oh, and of course Ultra Woman will be coming as well."

Shit.

The settee instantly stopped its quaking. I _knew_ that I'd forgotten something!

"Ultra Woman?" Asked Emily in amazement. A delighted bark of laughter issued from Katie.

"What's so funny about that?" Asked Jenna. I shot Katie a warning glance, but she didn't need it. She must be well practiced at lying to her mother.

"She's Emily's ex" answered Katie with a shrug. "I just think it'll be funny to have her here. Especially since Emily is bringing her new girlfriend along." Katie smirked at me as she spoke, her voice full of a meaning that her mother had no share in. Emily also turned to face me, a look of 'what the fuck do we do now?' across her features. I had no answer for her.

"Well, there'd just better not be any unpleasantness" said Jenna with finality. Katie chuckled.

"Don't worry mum: I have a hunch that Naomi and Ultra Woman will just avoid each other. I bet they'll go the whole party without even being in the same room together."

"Do you think Ultra Woman will cancel if she hears that Naomi is coming?" Asked Jenna in sudden alarm. With a sigh of relief, I realised that I had a way out of this mess. I could write as Ultra Woman, saying that I had decided not to face my ex and her new girlfriend.

But as though sensing my salvation, Katie decided to trample all over it in her leopard-print nine-inch heels.

"Oh no, she's definitely coming" she answered with reckless glee. "I spoke to her just the other day, and she said she couldn't be happier for Emily and Naomi. She's totally over the break-up, and she's _really_ looking forward to seeing them both at the party."

Clearly appeased by this, Jenna nodded and left the room. As soon as the doors were closed behind her, I turned on Katie.

"What the fuck did you say that for?" I demanded. Katie flashed me her most dazzling smile.

"Cos it's gonna be so funny watching you _and_ Ultra Woman attending the same party!"

"Thanks for the support" I muttered.

* * *

><p>"So who's going?" Asked Effy. We were hanging out together in her room, trying to plan for whatever surprises the Fitches might have in store for Ultra Woman at their upcoming party. I filled her in on the invites that I was aware of. Then after a tentative pause, I added:<p>

"Oh, and I'm going, too."

"Obviously" answered Effy with a yawn. "Since I'm going as your date."

"No, I mean _I'm_ going. With Emily. As… as Naomi."

Effy frowned at me in confusion.

"So Ultra Woman's not going anymore?"

I braced myself for what I knew was heading my way.

"No, Ultra Woman's still going. But now Naomi's going as well. They'll both be there."

"Oh what the fuck have you got yourself into now?" Asked Effy. I bristled slightly at her tone: it's not as if I'm _always_ messing things up!

"I accidentally accepted an invite as Naomi" I informed her, in a small voice.

"I didn't think Jenna would even _want_ you there!" She answered with exasperation.

"She didn't" I admitted, sheepishly. "We had to fight her for an invite, really."

Effy nodded pityingly at me.

"So, you decided that your life just wasn't quite complicated enough, is that it?" Filled with embarrassment, I just stared down at the carpet. She gave a world-weary sigh. "What's next? Are we going to get Emka an invite, too? Things aren't quite difficult enough – I think your made-up ex-girlfriend would make a welcome addition to the party!"

"This isn't helping!" I snapped.

"Maybe her tribute band could play at the party! What did you tell Emily they were called?"

"Rocks Set" I mumbled. "And is the sarcasm really necessary?"

"Would you prefer brutal honesty?" She asked threateningly. I shook my head. No, Effy's brutal honesty about my stupidity was the last thing I needed.

* * *

><p>The day of the party finally arrived. Our plans – such as they were – had all been finalised. Although Effy was Ultra Woman's date for the party, she was going to arrive there with me. She would explain that Ultra Woman had been held up with some sort of crime-fighting emergency, but would be along as soon as she could. I would take some suitable opportunity to nip up unseen to Emily's room, where my super-suit would be waiting for me.<p>

It was going to be an evening of non-stop, super-quick changes for me. I would have to keep finding excuses to leave, so that I could get changed in Emily's room and reappear as my alter-ego. Effy, Emily and Katie had all promised to help as much as they could. Though I suspected that Katie's idea of helping would be to piss herself laughing whenever I was really struggling.

Three hours before the party was due to start, Effy arrived in my room with a determined expression and a garment bag.

"Let's get you looking fabulous" she announced. She then proceeded to help me get ready. Nothing was left to chance: Effy had chosen my dress and accessories, she dictated how I was to style my hair, and she applied my make-up herself. Any arguments from me were futile.

As I stared at the finished article in my bedroom mirror, I had to admit that she had done a great job. I felt fabulously elegant in a full-length cocktail dress. The soft blue of the gown and the expertly applied make-up really emphasised my blue eyes. My blonde hair was drawn up into a chic 'up' do, with graceful tendrils flowing loose against my neck.

"Wow. Thanks, Effy." I beamed happily at my best friend, before noticing her own attire. "Aren't you getting ready?"

"I'm ready."

I arched an eyebrow at her. She was wearing a faded-black band t-shirt as a dress (although it was barely long enough to deserve that title), and large, black boots. Her hair had been back-combed to within an inch of its life, making her look like she had just climbed from a nearby hedge. Effy shrugged at my quizzical expression.

"_You_ need to make a good impression on your girlfriend's parents. _I_ don't give a fuck."

"You look like you've just _had_ a fuck" I countered. Effy grinned enigmatically at me.

Not wanting to ruin my look by arriving all windswept, we opted to be driven to the party by Kieran instead of flying there. After a short but uncomfortable journey in my step-dad's old banger, we arrived at Robenna Mansion. The gates were stood open, so Kieran drove straight up the long driveway. The house itself seemed to shudder at the arrival of such an awful old rust-bucket. Effy stepped lightly out of the car, but my own exit was somewhat more awkward. I don't make a habit of wearing posh dresses and high heels – I felt like I had acquired several extra sets of knees and elbows.

With trepidation, I rang the bell to the house. I swear to God, the door was opened by a butler. An actual fucking butler! I didn't know that such a thing still existed, but Jenna had really hired a butler for the evening, just so that she didn't have to open the door herself.

After checking our invite with close scrutiny, he led us through to the front room. With much pomp and dignity, he announced our arrival.

"Miss Naomi Campbell and Miss Kate Moss." Just to be mischievous, Effy had given the butler a fake name, which he accepted without question. All eyes turned towards us, as though they really thought that a couple of supermodels might turn up for drinks and canapés at Robenna Mansion. Most looked away again in disappointment, but a few continued to stare at Effy. With her waif-like figure and borderline drug-habit appearance, they probably thought that she _could_ be a supermodel.

With a flush of relief, I spotted Emily making her way over to us. She was looking drop-dead gorgeous in a bold, crimson dress that hugged her curves like it never wanted to let go. She gave me a very thorough appraising look.

"You look beautiful" she muttered as she moved in to welcome me.

"Effy dressed me" I admitted.

"I thought you'd be able to do that yourself by now" jibed Katie as she sauntered past us. Ignoring her, I leaned down towards Emily's waiting lips for a hello kiss. From across the room, I heard Jenna hiss:

"Oh my God, they're kissing in public!"

As we broke apart, I saw her making a rapid approach in our direction. She stopped abruptly as she reached us and saw Effy for the first time. Her eyes arrested on my best friend, observing her with a less than polite level of scrutiny. A distinct level of alarm showed on her face. I was sure that Jenna was mentally weighing-up the possibility of having Effy forcibly removed from the party. She wavered for a moment, before deciding that such an obvious reprobate as this would kick up a huge fuss if asked to leave.

"This is my friend Effy" Emily supplied. "You've met her before. She's here as Ultra Woman's date." At the mention of my alter-ego, Jenna looked about her expectantly.

"Where _is_ Ultra Woman?" She asked.

"Bit of an emergency" answered Effy. "But she'll be here really soon." She turned towards me. "Naomi, I think you may have left the headlights on. Why don't you run out to the car and check?"

I frowned at her in puzzlement. She knows as well as I do that we just got dropped off by Kieran!

"What car? Kieran dropped us…" A dig in my side from Emily halted my sentence mid-flow. Effy was staring at me with an intense gaze. Oh yeah! I'm supposed to be on the look-out for chances to leave the room. I tried my best to salvage the situation. "Right, _the_ car. The one we drove here in today. I was getting mixed up with another day, when Kieran dropped us off instead of loaning us the car, like he did today. You know, I think you might be right! Maybe I did leave the…"

"Just go" insisted Emily. I suddenly noticed that Jenna was no longer listening to us, and had drifted away. I nodded, and quickly made my way outside.

After a quick check to make sure that no-one was watching, I flew up to Emily's room. She had left her balcony doors open so that I could come and go through them. I swiftly changed into my super-suit, and returned back to the front door. An extreme sense of déjà vu streaked through me as the butler once again announced my arrival.

Jenna pounced almost immediately.

"Ultra Woman! So lovely to see you!" She gushed as she moved nearer. "Would you like a glass of wine?" Before I had chance to answer, she beckoned towards a nearby waiter. "A glass of our finest Lambrini for Ultra Woman!" Her warm greeting could not be further from the cold-shouldered neglect I had received as myself.

"I wouldn't miss this party for the world" I answered, trying to convey my real thoughts through a veneer of politeness. Jenna's mask didn't slip for a second.

"Jamie, have you met Ultra Woman?" She reached out an arm, and seemed to pluck a bewildered young man with fashionable hair from nowhere. "Ultra Woman, this is Jamie Jones – Katie's boyfriend." Jenna was clearly having the time of her life, introducing celebrities to each other in her own home. Jamie greeted me in a pleasant manner, before turning to Emily.

"So Emily: where's this amazing girlfriend of yours that you've been telling me about?"

Fuck. It's going to be a _very_ long night.

* * *

><p>Exhausted, I slumped against a bench in a quiet corner of the kitchen. I was absolutely worn out from all of my hasty costume changes. This is absolutely the last time that I go anywhere as two people.<p>

"Hey you" muttered the one voice that was music to my ears. I gave a tired smile to my girlfriend. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just tired" I answered with a nod. "What time is it? It must be getting on for midnight soon, right?" Emily sniggered.

"Naomi, it's only eight fifteen."

I groaned.

"I've only been doing this for forty five minutes? Fuck." Emily slipped her hand into mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Is it really hard?" She asked, gently.

"It's not so much the costume changes, it's the fact that I have to change my hair and make-up each time" I grumbled. "I wish Effy hadn't insisted on making so much effort. I'm sure I haven't got it looking the same way twice."

Emily giggled.

"No, your make-up is starting to look a little… clowney!"

"CLOWNEY?"

Hastily, my girlfriend tried to back-track.

"Not in a _bad_ way!" She insisted. I sighed.

"Emily, the clown look has _never_ been in fashion." She giggled once more. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I asked.

"Don't you remember? I always wanted to go on a double-date with Ultra Woman and Naomi."

"I guess you got your wish then."

"Maybe one of you should leave early" she suggested. I nodded. It was certainly very tempting to just give up on the whole charade.

But realising that Emily and I were alone in the kitchen, I decided to take advantage of that, first.

"Come here" I muttered, pulling her into an embrace. As our lips met, we sank into a warm, passionate kiss. For a few moments, we allowed ourselves to get totally lost in each other.

Suddenly, Emily pushed me roughly away from her, a look of panic across her face. In an instant, I realised that Jenna was stood behind us and had seen Emily and I kissing. Or more accurately, she had seen Ultra Woman and Emily kissing – I was in my super-suit. Before I had a chance to say anything, Emily slapped me hard across the face.

"Ultra Woman, you shouldn't have kissed me like that!" She protested. She stared apologetically at me. The harshness of the slap had surprised herself as much as me. "You know that I'm with Naomi now."

"You're right!" I answered with a nod. "I'm sorry, Emily."

"I don't think she would mind" added Jenna, snatching on the chance to stir up trouble between me and Emily. "I think she's gone home. James has been looking for her and can't find her anywhere."

My shoulders sagged as I realised that it was time for yet another costume change.

"Emily, my behaviour towards you has been terrible" I stammered, aware of how formal I suddenly sounded. "And I should never have kissed you behind Naomi's back. I'm going to go find her and apologise to her at once." I marched quickly past Jenna and out of the kitchen, slipping unseen up the stairs towards Emily's room.

* * *

><p>Some time later, I was dressed as myself again. Ultra Woman had left some time ago, loudly proclaiming to anyone who was listening that there was an emergency somewhere. So that meant that I got to be Naomi for a little while, and could kiss my girlfriend without arising suspicion. Taking full advantage of that, I had my arms wrapped firmly around Emily's waist while we chatted to Katie and her boyfriend.<p>

Jamie seemed nice enough, but I couldn't understand a lot of what he was saying. He kept talking about a time when he was 'off-side' recently, but the term meant nothing to me. I assumed that it was a new 'street' way of saying that you were drunk. Trying to sound like I was up-to-date, I nodded sagely.

"Yeah, I hate it when that happens" I said with authority. "I was so off-side last week that I forgot where I lived." Three pairs of bemused eyes stared unblinkingly back at me. I wasn't sure why, but then I've never been drunk once in my life – perhaps people don't really forget where they live under the influence of alcohol. I wouldn't know, since alcohol doesn't affect me.

I was saved from my embarrassment by the arrival of a rather panic-stricken Jenna.

"Isn't Ultra Woman back yet?" She demanded.

"Saving the world can't happen at _your_ convenience" I reminded her. She glowered at me.

"I'm sure she'll be back soon" added Emily, quickly.

"Well it might take a while" I ventured. Emily stared meaningfully at me.

"Mum won't make the announcement until Ultra Woman is back. I think that she'll be returning _very_ soon."

"Yeah, you're probably right" I agreed with a sigh. I handed my glass to Emily. "Excuse me a moment, I just need the loo." I turned and headed out of the room. As I moved, I heard Jenna muttering to Emily:

"_Again?_ Emily, are you sure that girl doesn't have a bladder infection?"

* * *

><p>Changed into my super-suit once again, I headed quietly downstairs. I walked back into the front room.<p>

"Hello everyone. Bristol is safe from crime once more." I looked up to see Katie striding hastily towards me, a look of anxiety on her face. She reached up and snatched something from in front of my eyes. Shit: that was a close one! I had forgotten to take my glasses off! Fortunately, Katie's quick thinking meant that no-one else noticed.

Seeing that Ultra Woman was back, Jenna gathered everyone together to make her big announcement - of course she wouldn't care about Naomi's absence. We all had to troupe into the dining room. There was something laid out on the table, but it was hidden beneath a large cloth. I kept my distance from Emily, not trusting myself to act appropriately as her ex girlfriend. Instead, I glanced around the room for Effy. There was no sign of her – she had probably stepped out for a cigarette.

"Everyone!" Shrilled Jenna, tapping a knife against a glass. It was an unnecessary touch – everyone was already silently waiting for her briefing. "We've brought you all here to announce what will be the next stage of development for the Fitch Corporation." She wrapped an arm around Rob's waist, pulling him in close to her.

"We're really excited about it" ventured Rob. A cold look from Jenna silenced him. She had decided that the only one to make this little speech would be her.

"We're really excited about it" continued Jenna as though Rob hadn't spoken at all. "Because it's going to be a really big, important project. This…" she reached forward and pulled the cover from the table with a flourish. "…Is the first step towards turning Bristol into the Las Vegas of the UK." Jenna had revealed an architects scale model of a series of buildings built as a complex. "Restaurants, hotels, shops." Jenna pointed to various parts of the model. "And the best part: Bristol's very first super casino! Fitch Casino: come along and _Strike It Fitch!_" She beamed proudly around at the assembled crowd. A smattering of polite applause broke out.

I stared with incomprehension at Jenna. A casino? All of those fires, the bungs, the criminal activity… for a glorified Bingo hall? Sure, it would make her a lot of money. But I had expected something… well, something _bigger_.

The next few moments passed in a daze. I couldn't speak openly to Emily about all of this while at the party, and Effy was still nowhere to be found. Puzzled by the revelation of Jenna's 'big plan', I decided to track down my best friend. I slipped out of the room while Jenna began to go into details with the assembled crowd. I bumped almost immediately into Cook, who was loitering about in a very shifty manner.

"Ultra Woman, I've been looking for ya" he announced. I stared with curiosity at him. I hadn't seen him until now – I didn't think that he was at the party. "Naomi wants to talk to you." My curiosity mounted higher and higher.

"Naomi?" I clarified, feeling confused. Naomi _never_ wants to speak to me!

Oh wait, now I remember: I _am_ Naomi. This quick-change thing is very stressful!

"Yeah. She's down here" answered Cook. What the fuck is he up to? He opened a door that I knew led down to the cellar. "I told Naomi I would come and get you. Come on." He headed through the door and down the stairs within. For a moment, I thought that maybe I shouldn't follow him. But then I began to wonder exactly why he was lying to me – and why he wanted to get me down into the cellar. And since I could snap the man in half if I wanted to, I followed him down the stairs.

By the time I reached the cellar, Cook was already at the other side of the room. He rounded the corner into the small, empty section at the rear.

"She's through here" he called back to me. My curiosity was at fever pitch – I knew that there was nothing around that corner other than a sinister family portrait of the Fitches. I caught up with Cook, and found myself staring at that same ugly picture.

"What's going on, Cook?" I demanded.

"No, she's down here" he insisted, as he pressed a button on the side of the picture-frame. With a whirring of machinery, the portrait began to move. It slid to the side on unseen tracks, revealing a large, rather solid-looking door behind it. Like he was opening a safe, Cook spun a large handle around to open up the door. A flight of stone steps led downwards into another space beyond. I held my breath as I peered into this newly discovered secret of Robenna Mansion.

Cook gestured for me to go first. With mounting suspicion, I began to walk down the steps. Once I was halfway down, I heard the sound of the great door behind me swinging shut. Cook had locked me in. That particular predicament caused me no concern: I could tear the door from its hinges in a second. So instead of heading back out again, I decided to take a look around this mysterious, hidden enclosure.

At the bottom of the steps the space opened out into a large, concrete room. I wasn't sure if it was some kind of bunker, or a secret lab. There were steel tables round the sides of the room, filled with all manner of strange equipment. I wanted to explore, but before I could, my eyes fell on something of much greater interest.

"Effy!" She was lying prostrate across the floor. I crouched nearer to see what was up with her. She was unconscious, but as I pulled her into my arms, she began to stir. "Effy, are you okay?" She groaned, and rubbed at her head. She moved slowly into a sitting position, looking uncertainly at our surroundings.

"I'm okay, I think."

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I think…" she scrunched her eyes shut with the effort of remembering. "Yeah, I was in the kitchen, when Cook came in. The last thing I remember is him saying 'does this rag smell of chloroform to you?' Next thing I know, I woke up here."

"We're in some sort of secret shelter, hidden beneath the cellar." I glanced around, taking in the room in more detail.

"We should get out of here" said Effy, rising unsteadily to her feet. She began to walk towards the stairs. I started walking in the opposite direction, my attention caught by something. "Naomi? Where are you going?" I ignored Effy and continued moving towards the thing that had captured my interest. Effy followed anxiously after me. "Naomi, we should… oh." Her eyes fell on the item that I was staring at. It was a dome-shaped container, made from a strange metal that I didn't recognise.

It was a spacecraft.

It was _my_ spacecraft – it had to be.

Somehow, it was calling to me. I felt a pull towards it unlike any feeling I had ever known before. I just knew that this was my craft, I could feel it. And somehow, I knew that I was about to unlock all of the secrets of my mysterious past.

"Is that…?" Breathed Effy, her words barely above a whisper. I nodded. We stared at each other for a second, both of us amazed by what was before us. Then with reverential awe, I slowly stepped closer. I reached forward, and placed my right hand onto the smooth surface of the craft….

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I'm sorry about the cliff-hanger ending, but... MISS MARAUDEUR MADE ME DO IT! <strong>

**Well alright, that's not true. But we did both think that this was the best way to convey the necessary drama of this particular moment. How about if I promise not to take too long in getting the next chapter to you? I promise to have it up here before my birthday - which is 19th of May. Does that work for you?**

**Oh, and for anyone reading You Make Loving Fun: it's not finished yet. When I said in the last A/N about a good place to stop, I only meant the chapter. There's still a little bit more of that to come.**

**Anyway, I hope this chapter was perhaps in some way worth the wait. Do you feel like letting me know what you thought?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Er... hi there! Ok, I know. I missed my own deadline a little bit. Ok, a lot. Anyway, I'm really sorry, but things have been really hectic and crazy around here. Mostly good things. I entered a magic competition for one (and won! Yay me!) and the business seems to be showing signs of really picking up, which is fantastic for me. But it has left me struggling to find time for Ffn. Apologies to those of you that have left reviews or PM's recently that I haven't gotten around to replying to. I usually try to, but that has really not been happening lately and I'm sorry.**

**So I wasn't sure whether to bother mentioning this or not, but something else happened since we were last all here together... something to do with Fire? But don't worry everyone: because it actually _didn't_ happen. Seriously, it just didn't happen. That wasn't really them. Sure, they may have looked like Naomi, Emily and Effy - they even had the same names - but that's where the resemblance ends. So it didn't happen. Okay? **

**IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.**

**Okay, back to this chapter, and its quite a sizeable one, by my standards. And peppered with super-hero references! Collect them all! **

**Right: Effy and Ultra Woman were trapped in a strange bunker, deep below the Fitch mansion. Naomi has just seen her spaceship, and is about to touch it...**

* * *

><p>"Is that…?" Breathed Effy, her words barely above a whisper. I nodded. We stared at each other for a second, both of us amazed by what was before us. Then with reverential awe, I slowly stepped closer. I reached forward, and placed my right hand onto the smooth surface of the craft…<p>

…

…

…And nothing happened.

Frowning, I took my hand away. I blew on my fingertips, before trying again.

Still nothing happened. The thing didn't even squeak.

"Well that was dramatic" quipped Effy. My frown deepened.

"I just thought it might somehow… react to my presence. Maybe I've seen too many super-hero movies, but I was kind of expecting…"

"A hologram of Marlon Brando to appear and start dishing out parental advice?"

"Well… _yeah_." I sighed. "Even Russell Crowe would have been _something!_"

Effy shrugged.

"I guess it's just a spaceship."

I nodded vaguely, as I moved around the craft to see it from all sides. It was surreal after all these years, to finally be looking at the ship that brought me to earth. I was staring at a solid piece of my own history.

"Naomi, I think we should get out of here" suggested Effy, an uncharacteristic note of concern in her voice.

"Yeah, sure" I muttered, still giving the spaceship my full attention.

"Seriously, Naomi!"

I tore my eyes from the craft to look at my best friend.

"Effy, we're fine! A lock's not going to stop me - I can tear the door from its hinges whenever I want."

"They've locked us in?" She demanded with suspicion in her voice. I nodded. "Why, when they know how strong you are?" I shrugged and began looking around the room. Before leaving, I wanted to see if I could find out a bit more about this strange, hidden bunker. Jenna had far too many secrets for my liking – I wasn't going to pass up the chance to discover one or two of them. But Effy was still far from happy. "How did they get _you_ down here?" She asked.

"I was upstairs when Cook found me. He told me that Naomi wanted to speak to me."

"And you believed him?" Asked Effy, her trademark smirk making a sudden reappearance.

"No of course not!" I answered. "I wanted to know why he was lying to me. He said Naomi was down here, so I followed him. Then he locked the door after me." Effy was now staring at me in amazement.

"And that didn't seem like a trap to you?" She asked with incredulity.

"Well…"

"I'm starting to think that you haven't seen _enough_ super-hero movies! When the bad guy's henchman asks you to follow him, it always ends badly!"

"Effy, don't panic! I'm super-strong, I can break us out of here in a second!" I really didn't see what she was so concerned about. We could have a look around this place, then leave whenever we were ready.

"And they _know_ that!" She insisted. "They know how strong you are, but they've still brought you down here! Doesn't that worry you?"

I sighed.

"I want to know what they're up to! I figured the best way to do that was to follow Cook down here." I cast my eyes around the room with more purpose, hoping to find something that might give me a clue to the Fitches intentions. A letter would be nice. Something along the lines of: 'Dear Ultra Woman. We have brought you here because…' Not that I was really expecting something like that, but it would be helpful.

"What's that?" Asked Effy. I looked to where she was pointing. In the centre of the room there was a sizeable open space, empty except for a small table. On the table was a postcard marked 'Ultra Woman'.

"Wow, there really is a letter" I breathed. I walked towards the table.

"Don't pick that up!" Snapped Effy in sudden alarm.

"It's addressed to me" I pointed out. "I want to know what it says." Effy huffed in annoyance.

"Okay, let me go through my 'it's a trap' theory one more time…"

Smirking at her over-cautiousness, I picked up the card.

"No!" Shouted Effy, making a dart forward to try and stop me. Ignoring her, I turned over the card and read it aloud.

"Dear Ultra Woman. Thank you for walking into my trap. Regards, Jenna." I grinned foolishly at Effy. "Well, that's nice and polite, isn't it?"

Suddenly, hidden machinery sprang into life. Huge steel bars shot up from the floor all around us. They slid right up to the ceiling, before locking into place with an ominous 'click'. We were surrounded – the occupants of a huge cage.

"What was that about a trap?" I asked Effy with a grin. She rolled her eyes at me. I still wasn't worried. Did Jenna really think that steel bars would contain someone with my strength? I laughed inwardly at her beginners mistake.

"Don't you think you should be breaking us out of here right about now?" Asked Effy, dryly. With a casual nod, I strolled to the side of the cage and took a bar into each hand.

"Hmm."

Effy's head snapped round to face me.

"Hmm?" She demanded. "What does 'hmm' mean? And why haven't you prised those bars apart yet?"

"I just tried to" I answered quietly, the beginnings of panic trickling into my stomach. "They won't budge." Effy frowned at me.

"Naomi, this isn't the time to be kidding around, just break the fucking bars!"

"I'm not joking, Effy – I can't!" I tried hard to keep my mounting anxiety from straying into my voice. Effy gaped at me.

"What?" I could hear the slightest hint of alarm in that single word.

"They must be made of something really strong" I tried to rationalise. "Just… something that I've never come across before." Effy shook her head.

"No, don't you remember when you lost your strength before? You couldn't lift the pool table. Didn't you say that we're right underneath that room?"

Shit. Effy was right – whatever had sapped my strength that day must have been located down here all along.

"Check to see if you can lift something heavy" added my best friend. Frantically, I looked around the small cage, looking for something with a bit of weight. But besides us, the only other thing in there was the small table. Effy walked towards me and slid her arms around my shoulders.

"Effy, is this really the time to discover your 'touchy-feely' side?" I asked in surprise. "I mean, thanks for the reassuring hug, but…" Effy sighed, dramatically.

"Has all that lycra poisoned your brain?" she asked. "We're checking your strength here, you great daft Barbie doll! See if you can lift me up."

"Oh, right." I placed my hands onto her hips and tried my best to lift her. I managed, but it took a lot of effort to lift her only a few inches. "That's the best I can do" I told her as I set her back down.

"That's no more strength than the average human" muttered Effy. "What about your other powers? Can you still fly?" She stepped back from me and watched. I made an attempt to fly, but nothing happened. Summoning up all of my concentration, I tried again.

"There!" I exclaimed with relief. "I just flew, right? At least a little bit, anyway. I definitely felt myself lifting off the ground."

"You _jumped_, Naomi" explained Effy, sadly.

"A super, leap-tall-buildings-in-a-single-bound kind of jump?" I asked, hopefully. Effy shook her head.

"No, it was more like a constipated bunny-hop."

"Shit. What the fuck is going on?"

Just then, we heard the sound of the door opening, and two sets of feet coming down the stairs.

"Just play it cool" breathed Effy. "Don't let them see how worried we are." No sooner had she said that, than Jenna was stood before us on the other side of the bars – a look of triumph dancing in her eyes. Cook stood behind her, his face betraying no emotion.

"So, Ultra Woman!" Began Jenna, in obvious glee. "You've been trying to figure out what my plans are, but now I have you exactly where I want you. Isn't this ironic?"

"Er, no – not really" chipped in Effy. "It's not ironic – it's just a bit unfortunate, that's all." Jenna glowered at her, before turning back to face me.

"You've walked right into my carefully laid trap. How…" she cast an accusatory glance in Effy's direction. "…How _unfortunate_ for you."

"Good grammar costs nothing, Mrs Fitch" muttered Effy. Secretly, I marvelled at how calm an exterior she was displaying. She was absolutely right of course: we had to hide our fears as best we could.

"Well, you've clearly gone to a lot of trouble to make us feel welcome" I answered, feigning a nonchalance that I really wasn't feeling.

"Oh yes - I've gone to a _lot_ of trouble for this" answered Jenna, darkly. "How do you like your cage?" She asked, looking up at our surrounding bars. "You must be wondering how on earth I've managed to construct a cage that can actually hold the mighty Ultra Woman!" She was clearly enjoying her moment of conquest.

"You built them out of the rock you found, when you dug up Ultra Woman's spaceship" answered Effy, throwing in a disinterested yawn for good measure. Jenna's grin faltered somewhat. Effy had spoiled her little moment – she wanted to be the one to tell us that. But she quickly recovered her composure.

"Well their core is made from it" she explained. "We had a team of the finest scientists in the land examine that rock."

Cook spoke up for the first time.

"What, you mean JJ and his school chemistry kit?" He asked. Jenna's shoulders tensed at the interruption, but she carried on as if she hadn't heard it.

"And they concluded that it has the ability to sap all of your special powers." She stared at me, a devilish glint appearing in her eyes. "How are you feeling, Ultra Woman?"

I gave a casual shrug, and decided to follow Effy's lead.

"I'm feeling fine, thanks Jenna." I turned to my best friend. "Effy, how are _you_ feeling?"

"Pretty bored, if you must now" she muttered. Jenna chuckled, not fooled by our words for a second.

"When you first appeared just over a year ago, I knew that you would threaten all of my carefully laid plans" she began, with the air of someone beginning a long story. Effy and I exchanged a worried glance: was she really going to do this? Jenna continued, unaware of our exchange. "So I started the task of learning everything about you that I could." God, yes – she was really going to do this. Jenna had us in mortal danger, and she was about to start _monologuing_. The audacity of the woman!

"I set my spies onto the task" explained Jenna. "I scoured the world looking for any clues about you. Eventually, with the help of my secret resources, I managed to find _that!_" She pointed dramatically towards my spaceship.

"Secret resources?" I snapped. "You had Cook buy it from eBay!" Jenna frowned with displeasure, not enjoying the fact that I knew her source.

"Well I still put all of this into action!" She snapped, before recalling her anger and assuming a gentler tone. "And I have you right where I want you."

"All because you're building a casino?" I asked, incredulous. Jenna chuckled, playing her role of pantomime villain to the hilt.

"You're not seeing the bigger picture, Ultra Woman." She marched around the outside of the cage, her heels clicking ominously against the hard stone floor. "The casino is just the beginning. There'll be restaurants, hotels, shopping malls. That one plot of land is just the first step. I'm going to turn Bristol into the Las Vegas of England!"

"I think the law might have something to say about that" answered Effy. "We have strict gaming laws in Britain, as well as rules to stop someone having a monopoly like that."

Jenna scoffed and placed a hand self-importantly against her chest.

"The _law_ is not written for people like me!" She declared. "David has promised…" she paused in her tale to throw a questioning glance at me. "Have you met David Cameron?" She asked. I shook my head.

"No, I don't hang around with wankers." I had spurned many an invite to Downing Street over the past year. There was no way I was letting that prick parade me around at his side in front of a bunch of photographers. Jenna continued.

"Well he has assured me that silly little things like the law won't get in the way of my vision. Big things are going to happen in Bristol, Ultra Woman" she declared. "What a shame that you won't be around to see it."

"You're so proud of your little schemes, aren't you?" I asked, sarcastically.

"Life's a bitch, now so am I" answered Jenna with a sneer. I chuckled.

"You're pathetic! Parading around like you think you're some sort of evil genius. All you need now is a moustache to twirl."

Jenna's hand snapped instinctively to cover her top lip.

"I haven't had time to visit the salon recently" she muttered under her breath. Oops, touched a nerve there, obviously! She recovered her composure quickly, and peered inside the cage with a frown.

"Where's Naomi?" She demanded of Cook.

"Couldn't find her. Reckon she left ages ago."

"Well she wouldn't be able to stop us any…" Jenna paused mid-sentence, a sudden look of concentration on her face. "She's hardly stood still all night" she said slowly, as though working something out in her head. "And I've not seen either you or her together in the same room all evening." She stared back at me as she said this. I could practically see the light dawning in her eyes. I shared a panic-stricken, furtive glance with Effy. Shit: if Jenna knows my secret, then I'm really up to my neck in it. Jenna chuckled with an air of superiority. "It's all a lie, isn't it?" She said with certainty. I held my breath. Oh God – this is it. "You haven't forgiven her for stealing your girlfriend!"

I almost laughed out loud at Jenna's obtuseness.

"Damn you!" Snapped Effy. "We tried to keep that truth from you."

Jenna's lips twitched into a malicious smile.

"You can't keep secrets from me!" She mocked. "I'm far too analytical and clever to be taken in by _you_!"

We couldn't help ourselves at that: Effy and I sniggered like a couple of conspiratorial school-girls. It did nothing to help matters.

"Right!" Snapped Jenna. "We'll see if you find _this_ a laughing matter!" She walked over to one of the cupboards in the room. "Cook, hold her" she barked. At her instruction, Cook moved swiftly towards the cage. He reached through the bars and grabbed hold of Effy. Caught by surprise, Effy was unable to do anything before finding her arms held firmly behind her in an improvised half-nelson.

"Hey!" I stepped threateningly towards him, forgetting for a moment about my loss of strength. Before I could do anything, my attention was distracted by Jenna. She was back at the cage, keying numbers into a keypad lock that I hadn't noticed before. The cage door swung open and Jenna stepped inside. I was a little perturbed by the manic glint in her eyes as she moved towards me. But things seemed to have tipped slightly in our favour. Even with only normal strength, I felt sure that I could take Jenna. I braced myself to give her a hefty shove, then…

Searing pain. White hot agony – like nothing I had ever felt before - coursed its way through my body. I collapsed in shock to the ground. Jenna stood over me, a tiny fragment of rock in her hand.

"Our scientists were right!" She said in delight. "These bars only have this stuff running through the middle of them. It's enough to take away your powers like that, but when you actually _touch_ this stuff…" She crouched down and pressed the shard to my bare arm. Pain ripped through me once again. A scream tore itself from me, echoing back from the bare walls around us. My thoughts started to swim - I felt as though my grasp on the conscious world was slipping away. Noises mingled together incoherently: Effy was screaming something, Jenna was laughing with a high-pitched sound of pure rapture, Cook was shouting. I couldn't make sense of it as it all swirled together and began to fade away.

Then the agony ceased, and I was once more aware of my surroundings. A throbbing ache still burned across both of my arms. I stared down and saw an angry red burn mark on each of them, where Jenna must have pressed the rock against first one and then the other.

"Give me your knife!" She asked, as she thrust her hand towards Cook. Her voice was high with a manic energy. Cook was hesitant.

"I'm not sure…"

"Give me it!" She demanded forcibly. I saw Cook frown as he reached into his trouser pocket. Without letting go of Effy, he withdrew a large pen-knife, and tossed it on the ground beside Jenna. She snatched it up eagerly.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Shouted Effy, struggling uselessly against her captor.

Jenna opened the pen-knife with an almost reverential awe.

"I wonder if your skin is still impervious to blades?" She asked casually, as though simply musing about the next day's weather. She ran the tip of the blade lightly along my arm. She paused as she reached the burn-mark, before applying extra pressure to the knife. I winced as the tender skin felt the threat of the steel. Clearly enjoying her game, she moved the blade to my face. She ran it lightly against my cheeks, pressing a little firmer every now and then. Not enough to break the skin, just enough to let me know that she probably could do, if that was her wish. "I could tear up this pretty face of yours in a matter of seconds" she breathed. Anger and hatred bubbled up together in the pit of my stomach.

"Go fuck yourself, you cunting fuck-breath!" I snapped. An ugly frown tore across Jenna's face. She pulled back the knife and plunged it deep into my side. It sank into my now-mortal flesh with surprising ease. I screamed in pain as Jenna twisted the knife, revelling in my anguish. I felt myself slipping away again, drifting towards unconsciousness.

Just before I could black-out, there was a sudden scuffle. Effy broke free from Cook's hold on her, and crashed with full-force into Jenna. Jenna was taken completely by surprise, and ended up sprawled on the floor. Unfortunately, Effy also landed heavily. Of the two, Jenna was first to react. She quickly scampered out of the cage, slamming the door shut behind her. A tap on the key-pad, and the door was locked again.

Jenna rose swiftly to her feet, but she was clearly ruffled by Effy's attack.

"Your little friend won't be there next time to help you, Ultra Woman!" She spat, before turning away. "Deal with the brunette before I get back!" She snapped at Cook. He didn't answer her, but a look of shock crossed his face. As Jenna was already on her way back up the stairs, she didn't see it.

"God, are you okay?" Asked Effy, moving closer to me. She reached for the knife, which was still buried in my side. With a swift movement, she pulled it out of me and dropped it to the floor. She looked about her for the fragment of rock. When she found it, she picked it up and threw it through the bars to the far side of the room. "You okay?" Asked Effy again. I felt far from okay. I felt weak and helpless, like a baby that's been born too soon. My head was spinning, and my stomach was churning for all it was worth. But at least I didn't feel on the point of blacking out again, so I nodded. I shuffled myself up into a sitting position and looked down at the wound in my side. It was covered in blood. My blood, to be precise. This was a new experience for me.

"So this is what 'bleeding' feels like?" I asked. "I'm not sure I'm in favour of it." Effy peered down at where the blade had penetrated me. She picked up the knife and cut a strip of cloth from the bottom of my cape. She wadded it up and pressed it against the wound.

"Press firmly" she instructed me, before casting her eyes over the rest of me. "You'll live" was her prognosis. It had been a small blade, after all. Besides, we had more pressing concerns anyway.

We sat in silence for a while, both of us trying to get to grips with our situation.

"Cunting fuck-breath?" Asked Effy, after a few minutes.

"Huh?"

"You called Jenna a cunting fuck-breath."

I shrugged.

"I'll admit it wasn't my snappiest put-down, but I was in a lot of pain!" I argued. Effy smirked at me. "We need to get out of here" I told her.

"I don't think so, ladies."

We both turned to stare at Cook. He hadn't spoken since Jenna left the room, and I think we had both almost forgotten that he was there.

"Open this door, Cook" said Effy, pointing at the key-pad. Cook crossed his arms.

"No. I'm here to guard you, I'm not just gonna let you go!"

"Cook, we both know you're not a murderer" I insisted. In truth, I don't know Cook well enough to know that, I was just hoping it was the case. He looked shocked at my words.

"Who said anything about murder?" He demanded. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Jenna just told you to 'deal with' Effy. What do you think she meant – drop her off at home with a party bag?" Cook frowned.

"She just meant…"

"And what do you think she's planning on doing to _me_ now that she knows I can be hurt? _She_ did that, Cook. _She_ made me vulnerable, and I don't want to stick around here to be her little play-thing!" Cook looked abashed, and I could see that he had not been aware of Jenna's full intentions in advance. I suddenly remembered how Effy managed to slip free from him, and realised that he must have eased his grip on her arms. "Please Cook: help us!"

"But she's me boss, like. I can't just help you, I'd get the sack!"

"Cook please! I'll do anything!"

As his lips spread into a ready grin, I knew that I had said the wrong thing.

"Yeah?" He asked. Oh fuck.

"Well, I mean…"

Cook smirked at me.

"I wanna see some proper girl-on-girl action, you know what I mean?" He moved his finger, gesturing between Effy and myself. "All these fit lezzers around – you, Emily, Naomi – and the Cookie Monster never gets to see any of you getting it on!"

"Fuck off, Cook. I'm bleeding profusely here – the last thing on my mind is having sex with Effy" I snapped. "No offence" I added quickly to my best friend.

"Fair point" accepted Cook with a nod. "Just a bit of snogging then."

"You'd sell out your boss just to see two women kissing?" I asked in amazement.

"_French_ kissing!" He insisted.

"No Cook! Effy's my best friend, I'm not going to snog her while you wank-off beside us!" Cook looked crestfallen.

"Well a titty-flash then!" He requested, brightening up at his own suggestion. I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off again.

"Alright then." I stared in astonishment at Effy's answer. Cook's grin stretched the full width of his face.

"Yeah?" He asked, hardly able to believe his own luck. "Both tits, and I get to have a proper good stare at them." Effy shrugged her agreement.

"Only if I get to have a look at your cock" she added. Cook chuckled.

"Babe, you are on! _You_ are in for a treat!" He reached for his zipper.

"Cook!" I said in alarm. That really is the _last_ thing I need in my current state! If he gets his trouser-snake out, I'll be hurling partly-digested canapés across the floor in no time. "Get us out of here, first!"

"Right" he smirked, before turning and dashing up the stairs. "I'll just check Jenna's nowhere about." As he disappeared, I turned to my best friend.

"You're not actually going to show him your tits, are you?" I asked. She shrugged.

"Depends on if his dick is really nine inches, I suppose." I shook my head in disbelief at my friend's system of values.

"Coast's clear" said Cook, coming back down the stairs again.

"Right, what's the combination?" Effy stood with her fingers poised over the key-pad.

"I dunno."

Effy and I exchanged frustrated looks.

"Then how are you planning on helping us?" I demanded. Cook grinned.

"There's a back way out of here. You can't go swanning out through the front door, can you?"

"We can't go swanning _anywhere_ if we can't get this fucking cage open!" I snapped. Cook frowned.

"Oh yeah."

Effy started typing into the key-pad, trying random combinations of numbers.

"It could take forever" I told her, glumly. Then a memory stirred, somewhere deep at the back of my mind. Something about a key-pad… "Wait, Emily told me once… they always use the same code. She told me when we went to the Fitches pool one night."

"What's the code?" Asked Effy expectantly.

"I don't remember." She rolled her eyes at me, and I suddenly felt defensive. "It's not my fault! She stripped naked and insisted that we go skinny-dipping five minutes later!" Cook opened his mouth. "No, I won't tell you any more details" I insisted. He closed his mouth again.

"Do you remember anything about the code?" Asked Effy. I shook my head. My brain still felt like it had the consistency of lumpy mashed potato. I tried desperately to remember what Emily had said about that code.

"The twins birthday!" I exclaimed, as the memory came back to me. "It's Emily and Katie's date of birth!"

"Great. What is it?"

"I don't know." Again, Effy rolled her eyes at me.

"You don't know your girlfriend's birthday?" She asked scornfully. "Ex girlfriend" she added quickly, for Cook's benefit.

"Look, let's escape first, then we can chat about what a shitty girlfriend I am, okay?"

"Cook, any idea when it is?" Asked Effy. Cook frowned, deep in thought.

"I know they've both had a birthday… sometime in the last 12 months, I'm sure."

"Thanks for the help" muttered Effy. I racked my brains for any further information that could help us.

"Okay, they're twenty five, right? I'm sure they're twenty five, so that gives us the year. Emily has a birthstone – it's green, so they were born in May. That narrows it down a lot."

"That's still thirty one combinations" stated Effy. "_If_ you're right about the year."

I began to muse aloud, trying to work it out.

"Okay, May… that's Taurus or Gemini. Taurus: strong, reliable, patient… that's got to be Emily's sign, right?"

"_Patient_? Katie?" I nodded.

"Fair enough. So what's Gemini: inquisitive, intelligent, fun-loving, changeable…" I tried my hardest to remember everything mum taught me about star-signs. "Gemini's are good with their hands. Wait, that's it! Emily is really good with her ha…" I began to blush profusely, as I remembered that Cook was still in the room with us. "Okay, it's Gemini" I added hastily. "Start from the 21st of May and go from there."

Effy began typing numbers into the key-pad. Soon, the door swung open with a buzz.

"Twenty fifth of May" said Effy with a chuckle. I grinned happily. Finally, mum's home-schooling had paid off. All of that time spent learning signs of the zodiac and birth-stones – I never really thought that it would one day save my life.

"Let's get out of here" I muttered. With Effy's assistance, I got to my feet. She brought my arm across her shoulders and helped to support my weight. We made our slow, painful way out of the cage. "Where's this other exit?" I asked Cook.

"Over here." He led the way to one side of the room, and cleared some free-standing shelves from the wall. Behind them was a small panel, that opened with a press from Cook's hand. He stood up, hesitating before he moved out of the way. "Look, one of you's got to hit me."

"Gladly" I told him. "But can we escape first?"

"No, I mean I can't have Jenna thinking that I helped you escape. If you rough me up a bit, it'll look like you forced me to help you." I nodded, and raised my fist.

"Wait! Not the face, alright?"

"Okay." I stepped closer. Cook winced in anticipation.

"And not too hard, either."

"So you want me to rough you up... but only _lightly_?" I asked.

"It needs to be convincing, but not enough to do any lasting damage. Go for…"

"Oh for fucks sake!" Effy, getting bored of the discussion, picked up a nearby fire-extinguisher and lamped Cook around the head with it. He hit the ground instantly.

"I think you killed him" I told her, with admittedly only partial concern. Effy frowned, and leaned over for a closer look.

"No, he's breathing. Come on." Helping me to crouch down, Effy led the way through the hatch. The corridor opened out to full height on the other side. Ahead of us, it stretched on into darkness. We began to make our way along it. "Fuck, wait a second" insisted Effy. She propped me up against the wall and ran back the way we had come. I stared on in bewilderment as she climbed back into the room, and stood over Cook's unconscious body. She had her back to me. As I watched, she raised her top up, flashing her tits to the prostrate figure in front of her. Then she dropped her top back down, and was soon back with me in the corridor. I arched a questioning eyebrow at her.

"Well, a promise is a promise" she answered with a smirk. "Let's get out of here."

After following the tunnel for a while, it ended abruptly at a ladder. Looking up, we saw that there was an iron grid above us. We struggled our way slowly up the ladder, Effy helping me as best as she could. Once at the grid, Effy pushed and found that it swung upwards without difficulty. With a great deal of effort, we managed to climb out into fresh air. We found ourselves in a corner of the Fitches grounds, farthest away from the house. We snuck through a gap in the hedge, and started hobbling towards the main road. Once there, Effy quickly hailed us a taxi.

We clambered uneasily into the back, under the startled gaze of the driver. I guess it's not every day that Ultra Woman hails a cab. And he could clearly see that I was badly hurt.

"Fancy dress party" I mumbled. "It got a little rough."

"Yeah? What did you go as?" He asked, sarcastically. I looked down at my pink, blood-stained lycra.

"Bret 'The Hitman' Hart" I told him. I cast a glance at Effy, who as usual was dressed all in black. "And she's The Undertaker."

The driver chuckled, and turned back to face the front.

"Where to, ladies?"

"The hospital" answered Effy.

"No!" I insisted firmly, before directing him to a street that wasn't too far from our houses – just in case he thought I _was_ the real Ultra Woman. I still had a secret identity to protect.

"You need the hospital" insisted Effy in a whisper. I shook my head.

"They won't be able to help. I'm not exactly from round here, am I?" Effy looked set to argue further, but I was adamant. "I'll be fine, okay? I just need to get some rest, and I'll be back to normal in a day or two." I just hoped that I was right about that, but there was no way of knowing for sure. I pushed that thought away though – it was too scary to contemplate.

The taxi began to move. As we sailed through the darkened streets of Bristol, Effy leaned closer to me.

"Remind me to write to Jenna and thank her for such a wonderful soiree."

I nodded.

"It was…. eventful."

* * *

><p><strong>Well I hope you liked that! Keep in mind that it is still first and foremost a comedy - that was always my intention, so that is why there was still some silliness, even when they are faced with mortal danger.<strong>

**In other exciting news: so I am so amazingly chuffed that I will actually get to meet the fantastic and talented Miss Maraudeur next month! I really can't wait for that. Incidentally, she helped me loads to get this chapter done. **

**In case you haven't seen, she updated 'Educating Naomi' yesterday. You should go read that one now, if you haven't already. Off you go. Oh wait: drop me a review first, if you so feel like it, please!**


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